Friday, February 13, 2009

Wookin' pa nub in all da wong paces

Suppose you are an English footballer. You have two things to do in life. You go to train for maybe a couple of hours in the morning, and then you spend the rest of the time wooing a female populace who all want to be WAGs. There may be some other incidental stuff, but that's the gist of it. The endgame in the WAG search is that you move her from the G file to the W file and spend the rest of your life tolerating each other as long as he makes money and she stays thin, just like the Beckhams.

Sometimes, though, that type of fairy tale ending just doesn't happen, and she ends up dumping you on the Facebooks while you are on loan in Wales.

Michael "D-Pack" Chopra has had a rocky season. He has spent time at both Sunderland and Cardiff City, with a second loan deal to the Welsh side completed just 55 seconds before the deadline of the winter transfer window. The word is that he will sign for Cardiff in the close season, and, well, that just won't do for his wife of seven months.

You see, Heather Swan is a woman of cultivated tastes. Such women cannot be moved out of Sunderland. Not only is she decently good-looking, she is also a Reality TV star. Top shelf stuff there lads.

Anyway, to the crux of the story. As Mirror wrote up yesterday, Swan notified the world of her intent to leave Chopra by changing her relationship status on Facebook to Single. It shouldn't have surprised the Bluebirds striker, as she had moved out after four weeks of marriage, but he still did not take the news well. His response was to cancel her mobile phone service.

Unfortunately, it was too late. If one were to blindly believe the wikipedia link above (and why wouldn't you?), Swan has already announced her engagement to another fella. I bet he can't wait for the month and a half of bliss to follow.

The best part of the article, for me, lies in the last paragraph. It seems that the only positive for Swan of the marriage was their one-year-old son. Now, I wasn't a Math(s) major, but I think that kid popped out well before the nuptials. Perhaps, instead, he was the best thing about the engagement. Either way, I hope that kid fares better than this one. Oh look, that dad's a Cardiff player too (and look at those late to arrive comments; We had not seen those). No hope for the kid then, I guess.

If you have been missing out on the Facebook fun, come join our group. There's some (not much) exclusive content on there, and you can play "guess which commenter is which" with the real names. No fair picking out which one is Mike Georger.

Spotted on Off the Post, a neccesary daily go-to site.

5 comments:

The Fan's Attic said...

very much appreciate the SNL reference. Otay.

The Fan's Attic said...

dib-die, dib on da dibey doobie, dib day.

Andrew said...

Maybe Ms. Swan is just bitter at being a second-rate WAG to a second-rate footballer. Or, as a man with less class and less sensitivity to the proclivities of the female of the species than myself would say, she's a c*nt.

ü75 said...

Unfortunately, I could not find video. Even on Hulu. NBC, if you're going to be dicks to youtube because you have your own site, at least make sure you have up on yours what you had taken down there. Thanks.

Mike Georger said...

BUCKWHEAT HAS BEEN SHOT!