Power Poll time!

This was set up yesterday, and then I totally forgot to announce it. If you're on the Facebooks (link) go to the UF group and vote in the power poll. Thanks.

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HELP!

We need you. If you are in the UF Facebook group, go vote in the late April Power Poll Top 10. Results later this week.

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Your vote now requested

For the Power Poll. As per usual, it's on the Facebooks. You have until Wednesday to think about it.

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Hey you

Yeah you. The ones that joined the Facebook group. You can go vote in the Power Poll club top 10 thing. Voting ends sometime after noon tomorrow. Don't make me look any more foolish than I already do.

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Go and vote

Your participation in the UF Power Poll is requested. Just go to the UF Facebook page and put your Top 10 in the correct discussion board topic. Voting will close at 2000 GMT (3PM EST; 12 Noon PDT) Thanks!

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Let's be careful out there

Facebook is both awesome and scary. It's awesome when some girl starts chatting you up about your fandom of Manchester United and invites you over for a shag. It's scary when she turns out not to exist because you've just been put on by two Liverpool supporters. It hits this blog when they tell your wife about what you've done, and then put the picture you sent the fictitious"her" with a pink vibrator in your mouth all over the interwebs.

So, yeah, there's a lot of bedroom FAIL going on with United supporters lately. Next thing you know, we'll be reading about Sir Alex shagging sheep. Crap, no wait, that's a joke on Aberdeen. Strike that.

Speaking of Aberdeen, it's about 400 miles away from Sheffield, where Stuart Slann lives. Back on January 31st, Mr. Slann took up the invitation of one "Emma" for a meetup in Aberdeen. Emma Read is the Facebook nom de plume of one of two Liverpool supporters Stuart had met on holiday in Cancun back in November. Long story short, it did not end well.

Winding back to November, we find out that Stuart vacayed in Cancun for three weeks. During that time (at the bar, natch) Stuart got to know a couple of Scousers, who were also in the Yucatan for some winter sun. By all accounts, everything was amiable for a bit, but the Liverpool boys, who just happen to be cage fighters, eventually tired of Stuart's bragging on Manchester United. One night, they challenged him to sing some Liverpool songs. Stuart refused, and the cage fighters threw Slann into the pool, breaking his ankle. However, their revenge was not complete.

Upon return, as told by "Emma" on this Facebook page, one of the Scousers decided Stuart needed a little bit more winding up. Under the onlne guise of Emma he contacted Stuart on Facebook, and got Slann to fall in love with "her." Emma then invited Stuart up just north of Aberdeen for a romantic tryst.

Slann dutifully made the 10-hour trip and even waited while his online love had to stay late at work. Emma then asked for Stuart to send a picture of him being saucy. Stuart complied with a picture of him sucking on the pink vibrator.

After sitting for three hours without Emma showing up, Stuart finally decided to call up Emma and find out exactly what the hold up was. Imagine his surprise when he heard a couple of all too familiar voices. This video combines both the picture and that phone call.



Now Stuart's in a whole heap of a mess. His wife (oh, did I forget to mention he was married?) is leaving him, and the above video on Break is approaching 500k views. How does Stuart feel about it? Well, someone was good enough to take a screenshot of his Facebook page upon his return home. I'd say he's not happy.

Anyway, let his be your UF The More You Know moment. If you will excuse me, I have to go delete some people whom I don't really remember from high school. I suggest you do the same and apply caution in you future endeavors on that wonderful/evil site.

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Wookin' pa nub in all da wong paces

Suppose you are an English footballer. You have two things to do in life. You go to train for maybe a couple of hours in the morning, and then you spend the rest of the time wooing a female populace who all want to be WAGs. There may be some other incidental stuff, but that's the gist of it. The endgame in the WAG search is that you move her from the G file to the W file and spend the rest of your life tolerating each other as long as he makes money and she stays thin, just like the Beckhams.

Sometimes, though, that type of fairy tale ending just doesn't happen, and she ends up dumping you on the Facebooks while you are on loan in Wales.

Michael "D-Pack" Chopra has had a rocky season. He has spent time at both Sunderland and Cardiff City, with a second loan deal to the Welsh side completed just 55 seconds before the deadline of the winter transfer window. The word is that he will sign for Cardiff in the close season, and, well, that just won't do for his wife of seven months.

You see, Heather Swan is a woman of cultivated tastes. Such women cannot be moved out of Sunderland. Not only is she decently good-looking, she is also a Reality TV star. Top shelf stuff there lads.

Anyway, to the crux of the story. As Mirror wrote up yesterday, Swan notified the world of her intent to leave Chopra by changing her relationship status on Facebook to Single. It shouldn't have surprised the Bluebirds striker, as she had moved out after four weeks of marriage, but he still did not take the news well. His response was to cancel her mobile phone service.

Unfortunately, it was too late. If one were to blindly believe the wikipedia link above (and why wouldn't you?), Swan has already announced her engagement to another fella. I bet he can't wait for the month and a half of bliss to follow.

The best part of the article, for me, lies in the last paragraph. It seems that the only positive for Swan of the marriage was their one-year-old son. Now, I wasn't a Math(s) major, but I think that kid popped out well before the nuptials. Perhaps, instead, he was the best thing about the engagement. Either way, I hope that kid fares better than this one. Oh look, that dad's a Cardiff player too (and look at those late to arrive comments; We had not seen those). No hope for the kid then, I guess.

If you have been missing out on the Facebook fun, come join our group. There's some (not much) exclusive content on there, and you can play "guess which commenter is which" with the real names. No fair picking out which one is Mike Georger.

Spotted on Off the Post, a neccesary daily go-to site.

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Loose Lips Sink Marginal Young Football Careers

Thank god for football. Without it, we might still be caught up in the insane notion that the English are even a modicum more intelligent or classy than us, Il Brutto Americani.

I understand that your average professional footballer has never been held in high regard by the Limey intellectual classes, but the actions of this blustery young buck, Ashley-Paul Robinson-- formerly, reports have it, of Crystal Palace-- are worthy of a special note.

Defying the impossible standards of the 21st century athlete, Robinson has managed to captivate us with the particular indiscretions that led to his summary dismissal from Neil Warnock's Championship contenders.

The highly-rated-enough-to-get-a- clandestine-call-from-Fulham winger went behind the backs of his bosses at Palace for a workout with Bullard and the Boys, hoping for a transfer push into the top flight. Nothing wrong with that of course, it's the nature of the game. But there was one other issue...

More concerned with Pussy Galore than pulling off a 007-esque sweep into Craven Cottage, Robinson delivered a running Facebook status commentary on his trials.

From Saturday:

"Ashley-Paul is goin fulham on monday. If i pull dis off im on dis ting."

From Sunday:

"Ashley-Paul is travling 2 Bath With Fulham Fingers Crossed.(Im lukin 2 Get Sum Tips Of Jimmy Bullard He's ON DIS TING NO HYPE LOL"

And finally, after the milk had spilled, no crying:

"Ashley-Paul has been very naughty lol!"

LOL indeed, mate!

Said Neil Warnock, after expressing his disgust and releasing the 18-year-old: "We feel it's probably better that he looks elsewhere to further his career."

MySpace, perhaps?

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