Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Open Thread: Champions League Final

It doesn't appear any of us are able to liveblog this match, but we encourage all of you to contribute to the dialog of the match by posting comments here. We'll try to provide updates after the jump as our schedules permit.

Starting Lineups:

Chelsea:

Cech, A. Cole, Terry, Carvalho, Essien, J. Cole, Ballack, Makalele, Lampard, Malouda, Drogba

ManU:

Van Der Sar, Brown, Vidic, Ferdinand, Evra, Ronaldo, Scholes, Carrick, Hargreaves, Rooney, Tevez

I'm on the record for a 3-1 Man U victory. I hope there are lots of goals, but I'm not optimistic about it.



The pitch looks green, but that might be from paint. It's supposed to keep raining today so the pitch could become a factor. A factor that would likely help Chelsea.

0:00 - Kickoff. Of not Park not on Man U bench. And, check out this new feature on Soccernet. I will be keeping an eye on it.


22:00 - Shit...I had to deal with the A/C subcontractor and come back to a bloody Scholes and two yellow cards.

26:00 - Ronaldo with his 42nd of the season. A nice header off of a cross from Wes Brown. Ronaldo truly is quite good in the air.

27:00 - On the other end Ballack wastes a good chance.

34:00 - Wow...Chelsea had a great chance. Drogba received a cross on the touchline and headed it back across to the middle of goal box with Ferdinand getting between Ballack and the ball just getting the ball but almost scoring an own goal but Van der Sar saves.

34:00 - On the ensuing play Rooney comes all the way back to steal the ball, then makes a run to midfield but about 10-15 yards prior to the midline, launches a cross across to the left side to Ronaldo who receives outside the Chelsea 18 and then crosses it to Tevez who almost puts it in but Cech blocks and then Carrick threatens to score but Cech saves again conceding a corner. Really thrilling play. My words don't do it justice.

42:00 - Rooney is playing out of his mind. Just crossed the ball over the 18 and Tevez blew is second chance at a goal completely missing the cross with the goal wide open as Cech closed out.

42:00 - Ferdindand takes down a Chelsea player justoutside the penalty box. Drogba and Ballack stand over the ball. Ballack sends it over the bar.

44:00 - Goal!! Terrible defensive play by Man U. United gives up the ball and Lampard latches on to it to equalize. If Tevez had capitalized, this wouldn't even matter.

45:00 +2 - Carvalho comes in late and takes Ronaldo out at the shins. Nasty tackle and a yellow for the Portuguese defender.

Halftime: 1-1

2nd Half

46:00 - No changes in the lineups. ManU dominated the first half but came out tied. Let's see if they can continue to dominate. Tevez needs to capitalize on his chances.

A/C's fixed, but it's not hot here anymore.

57:00 - Vidic with a great play, keeping the cross away from Drogba conceding a corner that did no harm.

58:00 - Ballack marches down the middle of the pitch and booms a shot wide and high. Impressive but ineffective.

59:00 - Makalele bloodies another Red. Hargreaves this time with a vicious elbow but no card.

60:00 - Will we see any subs? Giggs for the record? Somebody for Makalele before he gets a red?

30 minutes to go and the blood is starting to boil. More cards are definitely in the offing as Ballack is upset at Tevez. He should be happy with Tevez because his country took a bunch of German immigrants a few years back.

68:00 - Ferdinand is down. Looks like a calf cramp.

71:00 - Maka down and Chelsea concedes a corner.

77:00 - Really boring stretch, until Malouda goes down in the box appealing for a penalty to no avail.

78:00 - Drogba finally decides to show up and gets off a great shot that was only saved by the right post.

82:00 - Tevez gets a long shot off but off the mark.

84:00 - Giggs is warming up and looks set to come in and break Sir Bobby Charlton's record for United appearances.

87:00 - Giggs on for Scholes. There's the record.

90:00 + 2 -- This is riveting. United is finally attacking again.

Full Time 1-1

Intrepid sideline reporter Dave Roberts (?) says the rain is coming down and the pitch isn't holding up. Great.

I just wanted to point out that 4-time CL medal winner Clarence Seedorf is not a good color commentator/contributor in English. It's not because he's black, it's because he is difficult to understand. This is compounded by the fact that he sounds like he's commentating from satcom in Iraq.

We're underway. No changes.

93:00 - Kalou on for Malouda. I like it. Not defensive.

94:00 - Somehow Chelsea didn't score again as United's defense was scrambling. Lampard made a nice turn in the box but was denied by the crossbar.

96:00 - Joe Cole throws a tantrum and won't get up. Fan shot...Russian guard puts on ManU jersey.

98:00 - Essien finally appears on the offensive end with a nice run into the box but it is cleaned up easily by Vidic. Had good potential.

Anelka on for Joe Cole. More offense. Nice.

101:00 - Giggs blows a sure fire goal after Evra made a beautiful run. replays show terry just got a head on it.

Rooney off for Nani. He had a great game. I am surprised to see him go off.

103:00 -- Ronaldo comes back to retrieve the ball and makes a nice feed to Tevez who shoots it right into Cech's chest.

105:00 - Man U gets really lucky with a Vidic tackle, otherwise Chelsea was off to the races.

End First Period of Extra Time

106:00 - Back again. It's looking like the teams are settling in for PKs with an occasional frontward foray.

110:00 - Still waiting for some magic. We have had potential magic.

111:00 - Vidic with a hard tackle on Anelka and gets a card. Not sure it was deserving. Chelsea with a freekick from 25 yards.

112:00 - Drogba splays it wide right.

114:00 - Nice bit of work by United with a couple of chances but Chelsea held firm until Hargreaves' cross was too close to Cech.

115:00 - Ashley Cole scratches his crabs. The commentators just mentioned that it is 1:00 a.m. local time. That's ridiculous.

115:00 - a little scrum going on right now. Tevez was livid. Ballack gets a card. Vidic had to be restrained. Drogba gets RED!!! Tevez with a yellow.

Drogba slapped Vidic in the face. What a bitch! Good ridddance. Hopefully they ship your ass off to the boot tomorrow.

118:00 - Essien with a yellow. It's dropping buckets of rain now.

120:00 - Two minutes of added time. Looks like it will be PKs.

120:00 + 1 - Nani and ACole clash heads in the box. Cech shows his concern and runs over to Nani to check on him. Experience, unfortunatley, means Cech is like this.

120:00 + 5 - Belleti on for Makelele, Anderson on for Wes Brown. It's PKs nows.

FULL TIME

PKs

All kicks on the ManU end. ManU goes first

Tevez -- slots low right; Cech dove left.
Ballack -- slots high right, VDS guess correctly but couldn't get there.

Carrick -- goes left, Cech right.
Belletti -- low right, VDS left.

Ronaldo -- Ronaldo misses...with his little giddyup. Poor kick. Sheva all over again?
Lampard -- slots Right, VDS got a hand on it but not enough.

Hargreaves -- Upper left V. Wow! Perfect.
Ashley Cole -- low left, VDS had it but couldn't save it. That was really close.

Nani -- left side netting, Cech guessed correctly.
Terry -- This is it! Misses wide right!!! Grace of God saves ManU.

Terry's foot slipped as he kicked.

Anderson - up the middle, and Cech can't get a hand on it.
Kalou - slots home to the right. VDS guessed left.

Giggs -- low right, Cech left.
Anelka -- I've got a feeling.

VDS SAVES!!!! WOW!!!

Ronaldo cries on the ground. He owes VDS a car, a bunch of money, tons of stuff.

Chelsea goes down on PKs to another team in Red, yet again.

John Terry is crying.

Tommy Smyth described Ronaldo crying, pitching a fit in the center circle while the rest of the team celebrated downfield with VDS and the fans. What a putz. That is until Gary Neville, in a suit, came out and told him to celebrate with his team.

Congratulations is in order for ManU. They have the double. They have the Big Ears.

I always feel bad for a team that loses on PKs, even if it is Chelsea. It is such a difficult way to lose. Even moreso when the last PK was lost perhaps because of a slip.

It just hit my inbox...English players and PKs...discuss.

Good question. Although, I think this was just bad luck. Not a choke.

Just read that this was SAF's first PK shootout win ever as a manager.

Sir Bobby Charlton leads ManU up to the trophy. For some reason, Ronaldo is right behind him and not the captain, Rio Ferdinand. What selfishness.

At least Ferdinand and Giggs get to raise the trophy.

Read more on "Open Thread: Champions League Final"...

A really quick and rushed attempt at a CL Final preview


Today's programming should be fun, if not a little ire-inducing: after all, the two teams fighting for this mighty honour are two of the three teams I hate the most in the world. Manchester United, and Chelsea. [There's no danger of Everton ever reaching a prestigious game like this, really]

On one side, you have a team run by a drunk Scot, hell-bent on infecting the world with Cristiano fever. He's got a deep, talented squad, and he's smug about it.


The Russian, before he became old and evil


On the other side, the blue menace from London, a team owned by an unscrupulous Russian oil merchant who is intent on ruining the transfer structure by paying top dollar for damaged goods.

Lesser of two evils? Is there such a thing in this one?



Putting personal hatred aside for just a moment, there are enough juicy storylines to keep us entertained.


FAREWELL, SWEET DIVING PRINCE:
Could this be Drogba's last game for Chelsea? Or, as I indulge in the most ridiculous of weekend gossip, Cristiano Ronaldo's? He'd really love a move to Spain, you know... as would Frank Lampard.

Furthermore, could this be the end of Sir Alex Ferguson? He's won just about everything there is to win, and while his retirement would be a serious shocker, it could happen. After all, he's got enough cash in the bank to inhabit a bar stool for the rest of his days. The temptation is pretty strong, I'd imagine.


THE BIG CHEATING PAYBACK:
It's been less than a fortnight since Man U won the title from right under Chelsea's nose. Avram Grant, passive and morose as he might seem, would love a bit of revenge. Not only would this be Chelsea's first CL win [remember, there was a time when Liverpool would simply knock them out in the semis... alas, that duck is broken], but it would prevent SAF from winning the silverware that's eluded him the longest. They did win it in 1999, but nary a sniff since then. Racking up EPL titles is one thing, but what good does it do when you can't win Europe's biggest prize?


LET'S HOPE THE REFEREE IS CARD-HAPPY:
Nothing spices up a big game like an early red card [just ask Richard Dunne]. Today's referee is Lubos Michel, the guy who awarded Luis Garcia's goal in that cagey 2005 semi-final against Liverpool. You know the one: just over the line, Terry and co. protesting vigorously [some things never change], the one that put LFC in the final where they had that comeback you might have seen.

Well, he's the man in charge today, and if the last Chelsea/Man U encounter wasn't violent or contentious enough, I expect nothing less than bloodshed and late tackles from both sides today.

Evra better keep a lid on it this evening.


In true prognosticating spirit, I took a quick poll of UF brethren to see what they think will happen today.

I swear: if it ends up being 1-0, I will murder someone.*



The Fan's Attic:
Since Ronaldo never comes up big in the big matches. I can't go with him for MoM. I think United wins. 3-1. Terry is injured. Drogba flops 14 times only to be outdone by Ronaldo with 16 flops. Tevez scores a brace and is MotM. Ballack scores for Chelsea, and Ferdinand finishes the job. Ferdinand plays out his mind and permanently takes the armband from Terry. Van Der Sar saves a Lampard PK that would have put Chelsea up 2-0 to send him off to Italy.


Precious Roy:
Chelski wins 2-1. Ballack and Malouda for Chelsea, Rooney for Man U.


ü75:
Chelsea after PKs. 1-1. Tevez and Ballack to score. Ronaldo misses his spot kick. Brave John Terry MotM.


Ian:
You guys are such optimists. I'm voting for Ronaldo to score in the first half, followed by a very questionable awarded to Chelsea deep into second half injury time. Chelsea then manage to scrape through in penalties. 1-1 (Chels wins on PKs)


Moonshine Mike:
As much as i hate to say it, 1-0 in favor of ManU. I feel dirty now.


Lingering Bursitis:
I will be optimistic in saying that there will be many goals.
3-2 Man U
Man U: Ronaldo, Vidic, Scholes
Chelsea: Drogba 2


---
So there you have it folks. We've reached the end of the European football season, barring some minor former Soviet bloc countries who are wrapping up their domestic leagues. We have 90 minutes of potentially good football left before the tidal wave of average football at Euro '08 [why yes, of course I'm still bitter that we didn't qualify].

Let's hope we get what we all deserve: some good goals, and one set of players crying openly for the cameras after the final whistle.


*A figurative "someone"

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Tales of Travel Endurance

Suppose you are a Manchester United or Chelsea fan. What would you expect to play for travel from England to Moscow? Would you be willing to fork over the equivalent of $4000 just for travel? Or would you try to do it a bit cheaper?

There are some fans out there now, possibly still traveling, who made the trip for considerably less money. Inside, a quick look at the lunacy of trying to travel thousands of miles on a strict budget.

Martin Sheehan is a Manchester United supporter. He is also rather cheap, it would seem. Instead of plunking down the bug bucks to get to Moscow, he is being a bit more creative. His estimated travel cost is $170, round trip. Of course, his entire trip will take five days, and will involve two 28-hour long train trips, but dammit, he's thrifty.

Others are making the same low-cost effort. This involves planning plane trips that criss-cross Europe in a manner which, if filmed, would look like an Indiana Jones parody. Others are taking a week and a half to drive both ways. No thanks.

You know what? I can watch the game on my TV in the comfort of my own home. If I need a little camaraderie, I would go to a friendly pub to watch the match. Of course, I'm old, so that may have a lot to do with it, but still. That's a lot of money to spend or time to spend on a trip to somewhere where the weather isn't even nice. Me, I'd rather be on a beach in the Caribbean. Or at Wayne Rooney's bachelor party.

Read more on "Tales of Travel Endurance"...

Champions League Final: Exclusive Ashley Cole News!

It has been reported that Ashley Cole is questionable for the Champions League Final today between Chelsea and Manchester United. During a training session, Cole was tackled by Claude Makelele (we French really hate the English), injuring his ankle. However, there is more to the story - information on the reasons behind Cole's injury are after the jump.


Unprofessional Foul has obtained an exclusive from Chelsea physio Thierry Laurent (we French stick together) regarding the Cole injury.

The reason that Ashley was so easily injured? It's his time of the month. Recent research has found that menstruating footballers are more prone to injuries on the pitch. Poor Ashley - not only does he have those nasty cramps, but now he has a sore ankle to contend with as well.



Read more on "Champions League Final: Exclusive Ashley Cole News!"...

The Good, The Bad, The WTF

A special edition of everyone's favorite weekly post today. In honor of the two teams playing for the ultimate European club title today, we will take a look at one past horror each from Manchester United and Chelsea. Then, as an added bonus, you can vote on which one is the worst. Or the best. Or which team you think will win today. Plus, you can vote as many times as you like. We're nice like that.


As league winners, Manchester United get the honors. I am not sure just how much of an honor it is when this is what you lead with. I can tell you one thing, despite who the sponsor is, these shirts are not Sharp at all. I am not sure if adidas were trying to imitate snow flakes or pot leaves. Either way this shirt is a certified eyesore. But is it worse than the Chelsea offering?


Well, there it is in all of its polygonal glory. Interestingly, this is Chelsea's away shirt form the same era as the Man U one above. The glory years, you ask? 1990-92. What can be said? Umbro took the opportunity to put as many of their diamonds on the shirt as possible. Also, they didn't really use a strong red, so when viewed from a distance, this shirt looks pink. Does that make it worse than the Man U shirt? Who is to say?

You are. Poll below, just for you to mess around with. Enjoy the match, an we will be back to our non-thematic ways next week.


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Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Tuesday Backpasses: What are we going to write about tomorrow?

Just a couple of quickies for tonight.

Lingering Bursitis successfully ticks off some very dedicated female Bon Jovi fans [Vote Number 1]
Darren Huckerby mum on talk of MLS move. Maybe he can go to RBNY and become a NY Canary [Sporting Life]
NSFW celebration at Portsmouth FA Cup win. Won't someone think of the children (in the NSFW pic)? [Mr. Irrelevant]
Scientists finally solve Drogba problem. He's narcoleptic [Null Hypothesis]

See you tomorrow when the only game in town is the Toulon Tourney, right?

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Toulon: Day 1

The Toulon Tournament started today. It's an eight country international under-23 tournament. The eight countries are divided into two groups which play a World Cup style round robin. The top two team of each group go to the semifinals with the winners playing in the finals two days later.

This year's Group A consists of hosts France, Chile, Japan and the Netherlands. Group B has USA, Italy, Ivory Coast and Turkey. Most nights the update will be folded into the Backpass section, but tonight I had to post this:

That's French player Vincent Muratori losing his shorts and revealing a somewhat see-through pair of black bikini briefs. Thanks to commenter kenny in the US Youth National Team blog for posting the video.

Writeups of today's action after the jump.

All Group A action to start today.

In the first match Japan took on the Netherlands. Japan seemed to counterattack a lackluster Dutch squad. The first half produced nothing of consequence. It was so dull that I decided to take my son for a walk rather than watch the last ten minutes before halftime. The second half really wasn't much better. The Dutch would try to build, then give the ball away or shoot off target. About 20 minutes in, one of Japan's hopeful long balls from the keeper was misplayed by multiple French Dutch defenders, allowing Tadamari Lee to poke home with his left foot. The Netherlands continued with their useless attack for the rest of the game, but Japan successfully parried all attacks. A slight upset for Japan, 1-0.

The second match was much more interesting with two spirited teams looking to attack. France struck fast, with two goals in the first 25 minutes. Though they seemed to have the game under control, Chile was able to sneak back in with a goal 10 minutes before the half. Two minutes after the break, France scored again to take a 3-1 lead. However, the home side lost the momentum soon after with what the English pundits call "a rush of blood to the head". Ricardo Faty was tracking back in the midfield when he attempted to make a tackle from behind, way behind. He missed the ball by about two feet and went studs up into the Chilean player's ankle. The referee was trailing the play and issued an immediate red card. Chile scored on the ensuing free kick, then throttled France down the stretch. The goal to draw level was scored of a French defender's face, and Chile got two more in the last four minutes. 5-3 to the Chileans.

Tomorrow:
USA-Turkey 9.30 A.M. EDT
Italy-Ivory Coast 12 noon EDT

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I'm Guessing "Owning a Football Team" Is Not on a List of "The Best Things In Life"


"A billion here, a billion there, pretty soon, you're talking real money."
—Sen. Everett Dirksen


I learned two things today. First Dirksen apparently never really said the above, which is often attributed to him. Second, Chelsea and Manchester United are accumulating enough debt that it's rapidly approaching "real money" status.

From the Guardian:

Chelsea and Manchester United, the Premier League's two representatives in tomorrow's Champions League final, owe creditors £1.5bn between them. According to the latest accounts of Chelsea Limited, the company which owns the football club, Chelsea owed £736m to all its creditors. United's accounts, also recently filed at Companies House, showed total creditors at £764m.

Translating from English to American that's about $3 billion between them. Hey, that's about enough to buy Liverpool.... three times over.

Chelsea's debt is somewhat fictitious. The bulk of it is actually a loan from owner Roman Abramovich to the club, an interest free loan that apparently has no repayment schedule on it either. It only becomes an issue if Roman decides he wants it back (or in the event of a sale), in which case the club has 18 months to come up with the dough.

United's debt on the other hand is real in the sense that they just can't pay it back whenever. Worse, unlike Chelsea's "debt" which, if you know the least bit about inflation you understand is actually getting cheaper by the day, United is actually paying a hefty interest rate on theirs.

In summer of 2006, United re-financed the loans it used to buy the club so that the overall interest charge would drop to about £62M per year (down from £90M per year) but the overall debt increased from about $£580M to about £660M (to convert those numbers into dollars, pretty much just double them).

There's a decent rundown of United's financial situation here. More fascinating is the financial statement itself (warning PDF link). About 60% of the increase in their net cash flows in the year ending July 2007 came from the increased financing (i.e. they retired about £620M in debt and took on over £650 in new debt).

So if they hadn't refinanced United would have been cash flow negative for the second year running, that with substantial debt payments (about £150M the borrowing is to hedge funds at a rate of 14.5%). Hell, Glazer could have got a similar deal if he had just used this.

Additionally, United's debt-to-equity ratio is over 10, which is pretty high for a billion dollar operation (for comparison Dell, Coca-Cola, and Amgen all have debt-to-equity ratios under 1). It's a risky profile, but it only becomes problematic when your cash flows can't cover the debt payments. But, as stated above, without the debt restructuring United would have been cash flow negative last year.

So any hiccup in cash flows—tickets, merch, TV, CL money—and United could (emphasis *could*) be in trouble.

Just something to think about when watching the Champions League final tomorrow. Sure, both teams really want to win, but in a very real financial sense, United needs to win for reasons that Chelsea doesn't.

Read more on "I'm Guessing "Owning a Football Team" Is Not on a List of "The Best Things In Life""...

What is UEFA playing at?

No Bon Jovi concert here to take the blame

Now time for our second turf story of the day.


As if we needed any more ready-made excuses or realizations that tomorrow's Champions League final will be rather, ahem, boring underwhelming, UEFA is currently playing defense against concerns that the pitch is absolute shit, and that it will not be adequately fixed in time for the centerpiece of the club football season.

How did Moscow get the bid again? (Here's looking at you, Roman)



At present, officials and grounds staff at the Luzhniki Stadium are working to upgrade and improve certain areas of the pitch after replacing the entire surface just 15 days ago, and groundsman Matt Frost has talked the talk, but not really walked the walk so far.

Frost had claimed last week that he would provide a "Rolls-Royce of a pitch" for the final, but now he has clear reservations.

"I'm totally disappointed with the whole project and what we are presenting for the final," he said.

Yeah, you and the 80,000+ who will attend the game, the 22 people playing, the 2 people managing, and the millions of people worldwide who will be watching.

While there is little doubt in the minds of UEFA officials that the original turf at the stadium was absolute pants and needed to be replaced, can you imagine a bigger gaffe happening in the US? This is the big European final, the showpiece, the advertisement of top-class football to a world audience, and UEFA allowed them to start switching turf just two weeks before kick-off?

Of course, they are confident:

"We are slightly worried about the look of it," Uefa spokesman William Gaillard told Radio 5 Live.

"In terms of the quality, we have made some tests in the last few days and it is perfectly fine. It may not look very, very green on television, but, essentially, it is a good pitch to play football on. At this stage, we are confident it will be fine."

Sounds like a vote of confidence, yes?

If nothing else, it will give Ronaldo and Drogba a lot more creative freedom in their diving habits thanks to the abundance of new divots to get stuck in.

The Telegraph explains a little bit more about the turf details, but there's little one can do to deflect the ineptitude of the planning and execution process. If we get treated to a crap game tomorrow night, it's just one more thing players and managers can blame. Just watch: the winning goal will be an extra-time tap-in following a weird bounce off the pitch. Doesn't shit like this just sum up why people still take the piss out of football?



ü75 Update: UEFA president Michel Platini has spoken on the controversy. His take? Let the players decide if it is playable, intimating that the players could call off the final if necessary. Well, that's what FoxSoccer's headline would have you believe at least. In reality, he called for armchair pundits to let the players actually use the pitch for training first before we declare how bad it really is. I saw some video earlier, and I'll say this--it looks a lot like DC United's pitch when groundsharing with the Nationals. You can see the seams all over the place. Whether or not that affects the play will remain to be seen.

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Bon Jovi: living on Man City's prayer

Bon Jovi: obviously a Man United fan. If nothing else, he fulfills the fan requirement of living thousands of miles from Old Trafford, like most of their BMW-driving supporterati


Despite making the backpasses last night, I couldn't resist a little look at the operations of Maine Road, and how their best-laid plans might well be derailed by Jon Bon Jovi. It's one of those things that nature couldn't have planned any better.

Having just scraped into the UEFA Cup through the dubious back door that is the Fair Play table, the blues face having to move their home opener in the tournament to another stadium because a Bon Jovi concert scheduled for late June will probably not leave them enough time to re-turf the pitch.

I know that there are a lot of BJ fans who love the grass (groan), but is this really happening?



From the Guardian:

The club had initially believed there was plenty of time to prepare the pitch before the start of the season but at that stage they had little idea that England would be allowed an extra place in the Uefa Cup. City did not even have the best disciplinary statistics in the Premier League but the five clubs with better records - Tottenham Hotspur, Liverpool, United, Arsenal and Everton - have already qualified for Europe.
Now there's optimism for you: plan for the UEFA Cup, then realize it's unlikely, so schedule soft-rock concerts to keep the stands full through the summer?

Sven's optimism shines even brighter:

"It is a step in the right direction because the target for this club in the future is to play in the Champions League. The Uefa Cup is a very good school to learn about European football. It is a confirmation that we are a good team but also a team that behaves well on the pitch."
Ahem. We'll just casually ignore the fact that you don't need to be a good team (as Fulham almost beat you for the spot, and they were in the relegation zone virtually all season), and we'll overlook the Dunne red card that almost removed you from the running entirely.

But I digress. There's just something about this story that makes me laugh uncontrollably. Did Bon Jovi ever think he'd have this much influence? Could Man City stand the ignominy of asking Huddersfield Town if they can borrow the stadium for a night while they host a limp 1-0 win over a side like SK Brann or Skonto Riga?

The mind boggles. All I do know is that if Oasis were playing a summer concert that jeopardized the new turf, no-one would mind in the slightest. Still, the very idea of Bon Jovi soiling their dignity to begin with is frightening enough. He'll be exiting quickly on his steel horse if he knows what's good for him.




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