So the Foul Up in Baltimore is nearly upon us, and The UF email threads have been red hot with discussions of a banner. We were thinking of making one to tell the world that we exist. Being Chelsea v. Milan, we decided to scrap a generic slogan and make one relevant to the game itself, and after much debate, we just can't decide. So we want you to.
What should be on our Baltimore banner?
Showing posts with label AC Milan. Show all posts
Showing posts with label AC Milan. Show all posts
Monday, July 13, 2009
We Need Your Help!
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
UF Quick Throw: Gooch to Milan
Seeee, we told you there was no way Real Madrid would sign him! [Checking earpiece] Wait.. what's that? Certainly nawt! Oh my... [clears throat] Ladies and Gentleman, UF can confirm that US defender Oguchi Onyewu has signed for AC Milan-- yes, the one in Italy. His contract had run out with Standard Liege, so Gooch was available on a free, and because of his dual citizenship (US-Belgium) he doesn't take up a non-EU roster slot.
Instant Analysis: Apparently people DO watch the Confederations Cup... Apparently people DON'T watch any other USMNT games... Could Milan be working to ratchet up excitement for their U.S. Tour (see: Unprofessional Foul-Up!)??... Seriously though, congrats to the big fella. Makes us all a bit proud to see a Yank in the Rossoneri strip-- even if it's mostly in rumor and photos from training.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Sex With Teens >>>> Payroll Management
Berlusconi: possibly a worse owner than Hicks/Gillett. But with a higher libido.
It's a fun time to be on the squad at AC Milan. You just watched Kaka depart for La Liga, the Beckham circus has left town (perhaps only temporarily, but still) complete with ugly robot wife and annoying entourage, your best defender/player in club history is freshly into retirement, and your owner is an oblivious, aloof, teen-shagging, escort-hiring clown.
In the case of Andrea Pirlo, their 30-year-old irreplaceable midfielder, the 72-year-old Silvio took time to address transfer rumors with this glorious, clueless, brilliant quote: "If there's an offer, it should be considered. We'll see. I was the first to say that he must stay, but then they showed me the sums (for his salary)."
Sure, he's up to his wrinkled, liver-spotted neck in pliable, impressionable bed partners, but he's has to be more in tune with his team, doesn't he? He doesn't even know how much money his players make! Does he even know they sold Kaka? At least Roman Abramovich reads the sports pages from his giant fucking yacht.
Silvio is fast-becoming the world's first silk-pajama'd playboy Head of State/Soccer Team Owner (Kim Jong-Il doesn't count, unless he puts in a bid for Newcastle United), with the tabloids flushed and engorged with stories about lavish naked parties (seriously NSFW!) at various luxury residences, where lots of sex and champagne-quaffing takes place. Given that he's no moviemaker and he's not making a sequel to Eyes Wide Shut, the authorities have been having a poke around in case they could turn the aging debaucherer into their next high-profile trophy in court.
Regardless, it's kinda sad that he has no clue what's going on at his club. Though with his rather attractive procession of bikini-clad excuses, can we really be that mad?
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Kaka to Real Madrid for €65m (£56m)
Cue the Galácticos theme music.
Real Madrid wanted Kaka, AC Milan wanted the cash, and Kaka wanted to be wanted. You can't put this one much better than the man himself:
The soap opera is over. The negotiations are closed. I have sealed my transfer to Madrid.
David Beckham, no stranger to having to make big decisions on transfers, advised Kaka that this was a good move to further his career. And AC Milan released a very nice statement that Kaka's "loss on the field, though serious, can be filled. It will, however, be very difficult to fill the void left by Kaka the man."
For those of you keeping track at home, this is the second highest transfer fee paid behind the €76m for Zidane. Now the question is where does Real Madrid go next? Crissy Ronaldo? Ribery? David Villa? All of the above?
[NY Times]
[Guardian] Read more on "Kaka to Real Madrid for €65m (£56m)"...
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Quick Throw: How to Argue in Public to Get What You Want
Meelan president Silvio Berlusconi is not happy with manager Carlo Ancelotti, accusing him of wasting the club's season and being the sole reason why they lost the league.
Sounds like a very transparent and silly spat so Carlo gets miraculously released from Rossonieri duty in the summer in order to join Chelsea.
Still, I do appreciate the effort.
[Guardian Sport]
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Silvio Berlusconi's trending younger these days
AC Milan has had a lot of success under Berlusconi; in his two tenures (1986-2004 and 2006-), the Rossonieri have done well. Whether the Italian people have prospered with him as prime minister is another matter.
But none of that concerns UF today. We're more interested in how the 18-year-old girls of Italy are doing under his tutelage. Are their needs being met? Are they looked after, loved, cared for?
With one story that broke today, we might well find out. One thing's for certain: his wife isn't very pleased.
(mildly NSFW pic below... just some lingerie)
So Silvio, with his busy schedule of AC board meetings and running the country without conflict of interest, has been a little absent at home, missing his own childrens' birthday parties here and there, but he found time in his hectic life to attend the 18th birthday party for the daughter of a family friend, who also happens to be a lingerie model. Yeah -- and he bought her a gold necklace and gave her a signed picture of himself. A signed fucking picture! Of himself!
The girl, Noemi Letizia (pictured above with necklace and below with no clothes), sees nothing wrong with this: 'It was a lovely surprise to see the man I call Papi (daddy) at my party. I call him Papi but of course he is second to my father. He gave me a lovely necklace as a present.'
Yep, nothing wrong with this relationship whatsoever. Just an attractive young woman who enjoys being semi-naked, and her "little daddy teacher."
On her bedside table was prominently displayed a signed photograph of Berlusconi as well as a book in which he had written a dedication to her saying: 'To my little Noemi, my little graphic artist, your little daddy teacher.'"
But it gets better.
The article also documents Berlusconi's latest scheme to revive his popularity, something so brilliant that it's incredible no-one thought of it sooner (or at least parodied it): picking attractive young women to be politicians! After all, what's better: someone with tons of policy experience, or someone who's lovely to look at?
Send supermodels to Iraq, Mr. Berlusconi. Sure, some of 'em will get beheaded for their sins, but a few just might be able to broker a truce if they flash a little bit of chest. After all, it's part of his plan to put out "youthful young faces" in June's European elections.
He's earmarked (and possibly bum-marked) the following, none of whom have any political experience, and might struggle even to spell the word:
- soap actress Camilla Ferranti, 30
- TV star Eleonora Gaggioli, 29
- ex-Big Brother contestant Angela Sozio, 31
- former Miss Italy candidate Barbera Matera, 28.
(pictures of all of 'em in that article)
That's where his wife, Veronica Lario, chimed in via email:"Someone wrote that all this is to sustain the enjoyment of the Emperor. I agree with this - what has emerged is shameful trash, all in the name of power. I want it to be made clear that my children and I are victims of this situation and do not agree with it, we have to put up with it and suffer with it."
Veronica and Silvio have had spats in the past, but always managed to kiss and make up.
Personally, I just can't wait to see what pisses her off next time.
Friday, April 24, 2009
Quick Throw: 'Arry and Becks, sitting in a tree
Becks likes Milan. Soon, Becks must head back to LA. Becks has a timeshare deal. After the MLS season, what will poor Becks do to keep Becks in match-fitness ahead of WC 2010? Maybe Becks head to England. 'Arry likes Becks. 'Arry likes Becks a lot. 'Arry gushes about Becks.
Maybe Becks go on loan to Spurs?
[Guardian Sport]
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
UF POWER POLL-- MARCH 18, 2008
The Power Poll returns this week with as much movement as we've seen since it all began, way back when in January of 2009. But before we get to it, you should know there's something of an internal debate in these parts about metrics used to rank the teams. Some in the resident cabal tend to argue that we're obliged to account for a body of work ("It's not a form poll!")... others are more inclined to look at just the past game or two. But even with the dissent-- handbags, nearly-- and up-and-down movement, this newest poll offers a pretty thorough consensus. Point averages are nearly aligned with rankings and just looking at the list, for me, it's hard to find much fault.
Do you not agree?
Also: a very special UF hurrah to the Facebook voters. Champions. Everrrryone of ya.
1) Barcelona - 1.2 (4th, 3.4)
Back to their old dickstomping ways. If there was any doubt from midweek, then little Bojan Krkic's double (in four minutes) on Sunday was proof enough. But can we be sure the Catalans are over their early-late season hump? Four first half goals in Champions League play against the 374-time French champs would indicate, "yes." That those goals came from Henry (2), Messi, and Eto'o is positively arousing... Currently six points clear of Madrid atop La Liga. Do two?
2) Manchester United - 1.9 (1st, 1.2)
We'll leave this to the professionals, that is, the respected professionals:
Liverpool revived their ambitions of claiming the Premier League title in remarkable fashion as they humiliated champions Manchester United at Old Trafford.That was BBC's Phil McNulty-- Lingering, you may now retire to the bathroom with your catcher's mitt-- who goes on in his game account from Old Trafford to use the following words to describe Liverpool's decisive performance.
*misery(2x)
*nightmare
*torment
*lifeless
*unsettled
*toothless
*subdued
*stunned(2x)
*harrowing
*punishment
Point taken, man! Damn.
3) Liverpool - 3.4 (10th, 11.7)
Speak o' the devil. Los Rojos have been positively devastating without the weight of a title race to pin them down. Since being effectively removed from Premier League contention at Middlesbrough, Rafa's niñoshave cleared their collective windpipe and battered the life out of two of the greatest clubs in world sports. Brilliant all the way around... and I'm still trying to figure how precisely Torres sliced that first ball past van der Sar. Genius.
4) Chelsea - 5.2 (7th, 7.4)
Like it or not, Guus, you're staying in London. Unless you lose a game. So, uh, yea-- Chelsea have been very good. The return of a certain Michael Essien, who's apparently a goal-scoring machine now, shouldn't hurt, especially in the next round of CL matches. It's odd to say, but this weekend at WHL has to be a bit of a measuring stick. The Blues have been good, and beating Juventus is always a feather in your cap, but have they really faced down an in-form club and dominated? Nyet. Stomp Spurs on derby day and we'll be wholly convinced.
5) Inter Milan - 5.5 (3rd, 2.9)
Other have fallen further, but none so tragically. And none with such devastating effects for the UF psyche. I won't name names (Likely Lad!), but some of us had convinced ourselves-- and done their best to convince others-- that a win, or 0-0, at Old Trafford was possible. Of course, it was no competition. Inter looked old. Like a team that was going to win another Scudetto, then watch their manager skip town for... ahh... let's save that for the summer.
And how about that Zlatan Ibrahimovic??
6) Hertha Berlin - 7.0 (6th, 7.2)
The Bundesliga leaders are our consensus champions! I mean, champions of consensus! Aside from the top two, the only thing we are more convinced of here is that Hertha Berlin, Die Alte Dame!, is the sixth best team in
T-7) Bayern Munich - 8.8 (unranked)*
Don't care who it comes against, 12 goals in two Champions League second round ties is awesome. I venture to guess that had Klose not broken his ankle (out 8 weeks), the Germans might have climbed a bit higher. Still, an exciting, attacking team, that at their best remind you of the ol' mannschaft from back in '06. How about a showdown with Barca in the quarterfinal? That might be good for a goal or nine...
T-7) Arsenal - 8.8 (unranked)
Arse clowns are back in the pack thanks to a long undefeated run in the league-- which has them back fourth after Spurs win at Villa... uncomfortable situation for all involved-- and some penalty heroics in the land of the half-hearted stabbing. Yes, yes, the Arshavin goal was quality, and yes, yes, they've done this all with Denilson being their most used outfield player, so credit where it's due: Arsenal will finish fourth, lose in one of the next two rounds of the CL, and be paid back for their cheating in yesterday's FA Cup win with a Chelski-authored thrashing in the semifinals. (Note: Optimistic Lad reminds me that it's now a Big Four FA Cup semifinal round... so another Euro spot opens up... so... whatever)
T-9) AZ Alkmaar - 12.0 (9th, 8.1)*
We've been through it already with these Dutch bastards. They haven't lost since September 13, 2008... Bush & Cheney were still in the White House. There was a half of a half of chance that Sarah Palin was headed there, too. The Dow was at about 11,400. And so on.
That said, related/unrelated: you should really watch this video right now. I was reading (ok, re-reading, again) "Brilliant Orange" last night, so I decided to find video of "The Lost Final." That clip came up first, and though we know it's an unhappy ending, if you love football in the special way we all do, you might get emotional... (don't give up, go all ten minutes! Volume up! You'll understand what I'm on about by the fifth...)
T-9) AC Milan - 12.0 (unranked)
Yawn. They were gangbusters at Siena this weekend. For what that's worth. Quite an enjoyable game actually. Not competitive by any means, but Pippo Inzaghi did notch his 299th and 300th goals, and the Brazilian Pato is a delight. Throw in Beckham's neck tat and you've got... Unprofessional Foul's 10th best team for the week!
*Bayern Munich and AZ Alkmar scooch ahead on high score, that is, their highest ranks, respectively, beat those of the club with whom they'd tied. I swear, it makes sense.
Dropped - Real Madrid, Juventus
In the mix - FC Porto, Besiktas
Not in the mix, but in really fine form - Spurs (no votes)
Read more on "UF POWER POLL-- MARCH 18, 2008"...
Monday, March 9, 2009
Tabaré Viudez Has Now Played For Milan Two Seconds Longer Than You Have
.
The video doesn't really do this justice, because it cuts in about 2 seconds too late, which is a shame because the entire thing lasts maybe three seconds.
The clip starts with a shot of David Beckham as he walks off the pitch after being subbed out for Tabaré Viudez in the waning moments of Milan's 3-0 victory over Atlanta on Sunday. What you don't see is Viudez stepping on the pitch at the same moment. But you can hear the final whistle blow quite literally within 3 seconds. That's how long the young Uruguayan's debut for Milan lasted. Yep, that was his first "action" for the squad (at least in a game that counts as he got a couple of pre-season run outs).
Like we said, the clip doesn't do it justice. In fact he was ready to check in at about the 87th minute, but there were no dead ball opportunities. So, he stood there waiting as the seconds ticked up. And up. And up. Then, pretty much the moment he stepped into action, the ref blew the final whistle.
But, really, for an indication of how ridiculous the whole incident was, the look on Paolo Maldini's face is a good proxy as even he found it funny. Seeing how he replaced Jesus at left back for the Rossoneri, for him to react like it's something that he hasn't seen before, then it might have never happened before.
The peculiar thing is that, if you look at the clock, the whistle blows somewhere around 90:01 or 90:02 (hard to tell with streaming video lag). Really, no stoppage time at all? Because Filippo Inzaghi scored twice in the second half. Isn't the rule of thumb about 30 added seconds per goal? Maybe the ref was late for his nephew's confirmation.
Don't feel bad for Viudez. First, he plays for Milan. Second he's still only 19. Plus, if his performance in the South American U-20s is any indication—he was giving defenders fits running right at and past them—he's got plenty of good soccer ahead of him. Of course, at this rate, it might take him a couple of lifetimes to accumulate enough of it to count for much.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
UF Quick Throw: Some Beckham Deal Close to Being Dzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz [Updated]
MLS seems content to get nothing and like it. Well, they'll get Becks, but for a shorter time and then he'll probably walk.
Milan claims it is currently negotiating an extension of the loan, through June 30. At that point he'll rejoin the Galaxy. Then at the end of the MLS season, Becks will walk for free, as he has the option to opt out of his contract in November. Then he'll rejoin Milan in January when the transfer window opens up.
The Galaxy however are maintaining that Beckham will be back shilling for Herbalife come March 9.
(Oh, and Spectator wants to point out that he called this correctly when nobody else did... Does that mean I have to go dig up the post where we all guessed what would happen?)
[Update after the jump]
Update: As TFA points out below, it is indeed a buy-out clause (although it doesn't seem that there is a figure attached to it in the article). Also, the LA Times is reporting his return date to the Galaxy as July 15. Finally, talk about buying the lead; check out the second-to-last paragraph where it says Becks' next match with Milan is tomorrow in Doha, Qatar. How much more are these friendlies and testimonials worth with Becks in the line-up? Beckham gives Milan even more star power.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
But Doesn't Milan Touch Us All?
Sure that's a dynamite headline—theirs not ours—but of relevance here is the story below.
If you can't see it, it reads: "After days of indiscretions and refutation, it seems that David Beckham has finally obtained this that it wanted."
That's some top notch reporting. Okay, it's actually run through a translator, but it seems as if the Italian iteration of Goal.com (oh, should probably mention that's a screencap of Goal's website) thinks the L.A.-to-Milan deal is done.
There's a full screenshot available here.
Compare that to the English version of the page found here. In the English language version of the Goal story, Beckham is still in limbo (or in a really bad movie with flying dogs).
Anyway, from these two stories we can conclude one of three things:
A) The Italian story is actually the result of some horrible Babelfish work.
B) Editorial and factual consistency across languages isn't a priority at Goal.com.
C) Beckham is like some sort of footballing Schroedinger Cat, who is in some probabilistic state where he's both in Milan and L.A. and only by observing him, do we force him into one or the other.
This last one might be true if we wait until the Wednesday match and all observe him in Milan colors and force him into the Italian state of being. Although after being declared fit for the UEFA Cup match, Ancelotti has now backed off those comments and said both Becks and Pato are doubtful for the match.
The MLS deadline obviously came and went on Firday. Then Milan declared Garber's deadline a 'tactic' and said they were still sending an entourage to L.A. this Friday (or maybe Thursday) to continue negotiations.
This is getting boring. Worse, it's making us sympathetic towards Beckham. He's not even in a money grab, he just wants to play soccer at a level high enough to give him a chance for South Africa in 2010. And with its $2.19M salary cap, that ain't MLS.
Monday, February 16, 2009
UF Quick Throw: Inter prevail in Milan derby; Beckham speaks again
Looking at the two teams, it would have been hard to predict anything other than a victory for Mourinho and Inter, so it's no surprise they won 2-1 despite an atrocious goal of the old "head ball onto arm and in" variety by Adriano. Stankovic's goal atoned for the sloppy first, however, and despite a late intervention by Pato, it was Inter's day, and the Serie A title is surely theirs, barring some Mets-esque collapse.
Oh, and afterwards, Beckham said it's be "difficult" for him to return to the LA Galaxy to fulfill his contr-zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz just sell him already FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.
[Guardian Sport]
Game highlights after the jump, courtesy of the peerless 101GreatGoals.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Quick Throw: Beckham Wants OUT
In news that should surprise precisely no one, David Beckham went on the record today confirming, for the first time and in no uncertain terms, that he wants to leave MLS and the Galaxy for a permanent stay in Milan.
Initial report after the jump.
GLASGOW, Feb 4 (Reuters) - David Beckham said for the first
time on Wednesday that he would like to quit LA Galaxy in the
United States and make a permanent move to AC Milan.
The former Manchester United and Real Madrid midfielder
added that he might want to end his career at Milan and that
playing for them would enhance his chances of another World Cup
with England in South Africa next year.
"I have expressed my desire now to stay in Milan and
hopefully the clubs can come to some agreement," Beckham, who is
on loan with the Italian giants, told reporters.
"I expected to enjoy it (in Milan), but I didn't expect to
enjoy it this much and play in every game like I have," said
Beckham, who has made a significant impact in Serie A.
"I have said that my intentions are to stay here. Now it is
out of my hands so I have to wait and see," he added after
playing for the first half of Milan's friendly against Rangers
at Ibrox.
"My main objective is to stay at this club and I enjoy
playing here and at the highest level and it would give me more
of a chance (of playing in the World Cup)," the former
33-year-old England captain said.
"I have not spoken to Galaxy, but someone has from my side
and it is literally down to them to come to some sort of
agreement and hopefully they will."
Asked if he would like to finish his career at AC Milan
Beckham replied, "Yes, possibly."
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
UF POWER POLL - Debut Edition
People love lists and we are people who love football. With this in mind, it is our pleasure to introduce UF's first semi-weekly European Power Poll.
The formula was simple. Each of our intrepid scribes posited his own Top Ten. Then, using an algorithm specially designed by the foremost quantum physician at Nassau Community College, we came up with the following results. Enjoy. Debate.
1) Barcelona - 1.14
Unbeaten in their last 20 league matches. One loss in 21 games total. That, in their first match, aaaall the way back in August. Messi is unstoppable-- two more goals off the bench this weekend. Barca are 12 points up in the table, +33 over second place Real Madrid in goal differential. Lock for Champ League, surely...
2) Manchester United - 1.86
...Oh, but for those devils at Old Trafford. If anyone can suppress the Barcelona attack it must the Death-defying van der Saar and his now famous backline. They also have this guy... this Portuguese jerk.
3) AC Milan - 4.71*
Sorry Lingering, but they are a whole lot better with Beckham in the lineup.
4) Liverpool - 4.71
Rafa is either a demented genius or just demented. Or fat and ordinary. We'll know soon enough.
5) Inter Milan - 5.14
I think the consensus here is that any club managed by that other Portuguese jerk (just kidding, much love for the Jose) is a threat. Along with a pretty safe hold on Serie A, that's enough to earn a place in the Top 5.
6) Real Madrid - 6.28
Damn, these guys have been real good since... yea yea... since Juande took over. That Raul and Robben have scored in almost every game since New Year's doesn't hurt.
7) Aston Villa - 7
Will a bargain move for Emile Heskey put the Villans over the top? We're officially at the point where it'd be a disappointment if they didn't crack the Champs League.
8) TSG Hoffenheim - 8.43
We're hot for the Hoff. Simple as that. (But the Ibisevic thing hurts... a lot.)
9) Chelsea - 10.86
By far our most controversial entry. Bigus's opinion to follow later this afternoon.
10) Arsenal - 14.14
Like toilet paper stuck to your sole (or soul in my case), they've trailed into the room unnoticed and uninvited. To be fair, if Arshavin is half the magic man he seemed in Austria/Switzerland and Cesc can get back on the field, Arsenal become kind of threatening again.
In the mix - AZ Alkmaar, Bordeaux, Juventus, Roma, Bayern, Olympiakos, (Genoa!)
*had 2 Third Place votes to Liverpool's 1.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
UF Quick Throw: Hopefully, the Becks saga will only last 6 more days
The Galaxy put a clause in Becks' loan to AC Milan so it can't be extended beyond March 9th. So, if AC wants him, it'll need to be sorted out before the January window closes. Here's hoping it does, for all our sakes
[The Sun]
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
UF Quick Throw: Beckham Prefers Playing with Kaka to Playing with Shit (Like Eddie Lewis) - With an Update!
Apparently AC Milan are looking to make the Beckham deal permanent. I guess scoring his first goal on Sunday made Becks appear more attractive to Galliani, and MLS could be looking at a serious transfer fee.
UPDATED: $4.5 million for opening bid.
Monday, January 12, 2009
Landycakes and Beckypants: a tale of two MLS runaways
Err, David? Don't squeeze him too hard, he's the valuable one!
To my surprise, both LA Galaxy defectors got some decent playing time this weekend. No, their European adventures are not merely exercises in brand development, product endorsement, shirt sales and/or possible reconnaissance for new porn starlets (Donovan has a career behind the camera on some dodgy VW van sex series, doesn't he?), but they're actually in Germany and Italy to have an impact for their respective teams.
We'll brush aside the semantics of "impact", considering both teams are already loaded to the brim with talent and are settling in for the usual title chases in their respective leagues, but if we make an analogy to ice cream, well, one more chocolate chip can't hurt, can
it?
So how did they do?
At the Mohammed Bin Zayed Stadium, Bayern beat Dubai's Al Jazeera FC 3-2 in a friendly, and Landy got a full 90 minutes, setting up two goals and generally impressing the guy who should be managing the US Men's Team immensely. "Landon has class," was all Klinsmann really had to say, but that's alright, as we have video!
(Yes, that's Donovan with the final pass to Bastian Schweinsteiger)
He was fouled in the 2nd half, winning a free-kick that Daniel Van Buyten put away for their 2nd goal, and he was one of only two players to get a full game. Not bad, Landy, not bad. I give you six weeks until you get homesick due to never seeing the pitch during games of actual consequence.
Meanwhile, in Italy, Beckham's Milan fought hard against Roma for a 2-2 draw, and while Beckham's performance was tidy, it was really all about Pato. As Paolo Bandini reflects, Pato got both goals and Becks' input was largely limited to the occasional cross and/or corner.
However, shades of rust were evident as he gave the ball away more than anyone else on the pitch (tied with the also-ran Clarence Seedorf for 13, um, giveaways? New soccer stats are frightening) and was outranked by Ronaldinho for the honour of taking most of the juicy free-kicks around the box. Still, Ancelotti surprised everyone by giving Beckham the start while Flamini languished on the bench, but overall, an encouraging start for him too.
Still, all this buzz about Landon in Germany and David in Italy only serves to reinforce one essential thing: one of 'em certainly isn't returning to Los Angeles on time, and the other may well have finally gotten over their previous European malaise to give it another try.
Monday, October 27, 2008
FAIL!
So lost in all of the hoopla this weekend—the quarter-season title tilt in the EPL, Ramos out at Spurs, and a nutty Atlético Madrid league match for the third straight week—was the fact that MLS' regular season ended yesterday.
What's not as interesting as who finished first (congrats to Sigi and the Crew) is who finished last. Yes, it was the LA Galaxy. Or at least the rest of the legitimate soccer-loving world thinks so. Here's the MLS table from the Guardian. Notice the Galaxy in last place with the fewest points and the worst goal difference.
Compare that with MLS' own official table. See, the Galaxy aren't the worst team in the league. They still suck and are missing the playoffs again, but at least they are looking down on someone.
MLS is actually right. Go figure that the league would get their own standings correct. The tie-breakers can be found here; and sure enough in this cockamamie league, the first tie-breaker isn't goal difference, but head-to-head results. The Galaxy beat San Jose 2 of 3, so they get the pwnage. "Woo! We're only thirteenth." Congrats.
The funny part (to me anyway) isn't that the Guardian is wrong, but that it doesn't even occur to them that MLS would use something beside goal difference as the first tie breaker (it actually doesn't occur to them that they would use anything besides a single table either). But the Guardian isn't alone. On Fox Soccer Report last night (October 26), when they put up the Western Conference standings, they too had the Galaxy in DFL. On 33 points. Behind San Jose on goal difference.
Two more things. The man who was going to bring soccer to the American masses? His regular season finale wasn't even broadcast in the native tongue. No, not Algonquin or Cherokee or any of the like but the only outlet showing the match yesterday was Telefutura (on my non-HD TV anyway, I don't know if HDNET was running it). That's doubly embarrassing when you think it might be Becks' last game with the Galaxy.
There is the rumored loan to AC Milan. There is also the rumor that Milan would be cool with making that loan permanent. Now the latter seems very unlikely as the former is seemingly slightly less likely than it did just last Friday. But, it's not out of the realm of possibility.
Just a thought: Why? Clearly, Milan would do it to sell a boatload of Beckham jerseys. And Beckham wants to do it to stay on Capello's radar for England's national team as things creep toward South Africa in 2010 and he creeps toward Bobby Moore and Peter Shilton. But Kaka, Gattuso, Flamini (dead to me), Ronaldinho, Pirlo... shit, Becks is in the running with Seedorf and Ambrosini to see who's the sixth best midfielder on that squad.
And it's not like they can sub him in and out for dead ball situations (sub in sure, but that means he really only valuable late in matches when Milan is trailing).
So Becks continually reaffirms his commitment to the Galaxy but if he didn't come back, would it really surprise anyone? The Galaxy have already made their money back in spades (probably... remember the $50M a year figure was based on his cut of contingent revenues and his straight salary was $5.5 in base), and might be better served by getting on with rebuilding the team. And Beckham might be better served getting on with his self-serving national team ambitions. He's not the player he was. If Milan truly want him, then why wouldn't the Galaxy say "Arrivederci"?
[Update: Ha ha Soccernet, too]
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Transfer Market Irritations
Thanks to the idiot press back home, the papers are flooded with every possible transfer rumour under the sun. Every day, we get more news about so-and-so to Big Club FC, or the aging hero meekly accepting a small-ball bid to move to a small-town franchise. Even Jesus Christ himself is on the move, leaving heaven to ply his trade at FC Porto on a 2-year deal.
Bad jokes aside, there are a few players whose names are appearing far too much, and it has to stop. At this point, all quality and calibre aside, I couldn't care less where they play next year as their sagas have become so protracted that you just wish the season began tomorrow and that we could enjoy 3 months with silence on the transfer front.
So who are these oiks that are overpopulating the world's sports pages with will-they, won't-they?
5. Anything involving Spurs Yep, I'm sick of all the rumours involving Spurs. I could single out just one -- the Berbatov-to-Man U break, the Robbie Keane-to-Liverpool story, or how they've chased several players of interest, only to have them all publicly say they're not interested. Rafael van der Vaart said he'd rather stay in Hamburg (which speaks volumes, really), Capel wasn't interested either, they were never in with a sniff of Podolski, but they're labouring on. Granted, they have made big signings of Modric and Geovanni, but honestly, they're being linked with just about anyone and everyone at the moment, and it's torturous to digest. Bentley is the latest apple of their eye, and meanwhile, we sit and sigh, waiting for August. 4. Emmanuel Adebayor Another one I'm sick of. The constant flirtation between his manager and AC Milan is becoming so indecent, it could almost be considered pornographic and unsuitable for consumption. There's also Adebayor's wonderful gift for PR, whereby he said publicly that he wants to remain at Arsenal during a press conference, only to go backstage and tell a Sky Sports employee that he's looking at all options including a dream trip to Milan. The broth is soured further by the constant fluctuation of his value, with his price ranging from 15 to 25 million and all points in-between, not to mention his club that's looking to offload more dead weight than the two numbskulls in Weekend at Bernie's. The Togolese striker will make a club very happy indeed; it just remains to be seen exactly which one. 3. Ronaldinho The bucktoothed Brazilian should really be higher on the list, but the homeland contempt brewing in the top 2 spots has consigned him to third, which is coincidentally a position in the league that his hungriest suitors, Manchester City, could never dream of achieving. We've seen pictures of fat Ronnie all over the web, and yet Trashcan Sinatra is still wetting himself over the prospect of hooking the long-haired midfielder to come play at Eastlands. The price seems high, and pundits are advising teams to look elsewhere, but he's still a marketable name, and that means everything nowadays. In addition to Man City, there's always AC Milan, who crop up so frequently in transfer rumours that I might dub them the Italian Tottenham due to their predilection for hijacking or voicing interest in any player that is for sale. Please, make it end. Ronnie's agent needs to be Old Yeller'd, lest we go insane with all the noise. 2. Gareth Barry. Of course he's on the list! Was there any doubt? The saga (that I detailed last week as best I could) is bordering on Monty Python-esque farce as neither Liverpool nor Villa show any signs of being able to compromise. Today's fresh coat of paint came in the form of Arsenal, who apparently expressed interest to O'Neill, who promptly then told The Sun in the hopes of scaring open the Anfield pursestrings. Savvy on his part, yes, but entirely boring for the rest of us. Barry's fate is essentially sealed away from Villa Park due to his comments in the media about wanting better football (and I'm still not convinced that my Reds could even give him that), but the question remains as to where he'll end up. There is an inevitability about a move to Anfield eventually being ironed out, but it would be magic if this could happen soon. It might spare us all the added grief of the merry-go-round. 1. Cristiano Ronaldo. At last, something he'll finish first in on his own merits! Despite roundly failing at Euro '08, he enjoyed the spotlight that Spain should have had by stringing the media on for two straight weeks with veiled comments and entendres that whipped the writers into a fucking agonizing frenzy. Talk of Real Madrid being a dream move immediately woke Calderon from his coke-and-sunshine binge, and the world hasn't been the same since. The petulant one is facing a three-month layoff after some ankle surgery, but it hasn't dampened the speculation much. For the love of all that is holy, I wish it had.
"Of course [I'm staying put], I have three more years contract so, no matter what, I have to stay. I’m staying at Arsenal."
Then, later on June 27th:"I have a lot of big clubs trying to buy me and it is up to me and my agent, Stephane Courbis, to sit down next week and find a good solution. I am in a position that I don't know where I will be playing but that is normal. If you told me seven years ago when I was playing in Togo without football boots that I would have a choice of playing in Spain or Italy it would seem crazy."
You can't teach media management like that.
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Am I missing any? Other candidates for most annoying transfer talk?
Friday, June 20, 2008
Italy Waves The White Flag Surrendering To England
The Italians are proud people, perhaps too proud at times, and it is not without great anguish that they surrender. As in WWII, though, the Boot has waved the white flag to England calling off the dogs, only this time it's in the name of soccer/football/calcio. One time super-club AC Milan has finally admitted it is inferior to the great English club Manchester......City?
Is that right? It can't be. It must be Manchester United, but it is not. AC Milan has admitted it can no longer compete for Ronaldinho's services with the Thai led juggernaut Manchester City. Said AC Milan's vice president, Adriano Galliani: 'I cannot ignore that Italian football is now in fourth position in Europe behind England, Spain and Germany,' he said in Gazzetta dello Sport.
This can only mean the end is nigh. Italy accepting it's inferiority. Of course, if some Russian oil tycoons or deposed billionaire country leaders purchases a team or two in Italy this could surely change. Wait, doesn't the leader of Italy also own AC Milan? And, aren't Italian politics well known for corruption? Well, giddyup Berlusconi you have an entire tax base to work with.
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