Bunny Odd Core—okay technically Bunyodkor—is not the hippest shit out of Brooklyn but is actually a football club. And it's the the new management home of...
Wait for it... Wait for it...
Phil Scolari.
World Cup Winner. Former Chelsea Manager. Uzbekistan resident.
Gene Hackman has caught on with the Uzbek club Bunyodkor, and he seems okay with it. Check out these quasi-cryptic quotes: "(I like) the way the club is taking on a new football reality in Uzbekistan. It offers me a project which is similar to ones in which I have already worked and which were very fulfilling for me....
On the one hand, man that seems like a long way to fall. On the other hand, there's money.
"I made a choice because of a number of details, which are difficult to explain in an interview, but it's basically because of the project which I was offered."
We think. Scolari doesn't outright say it and nothing in the Guardian piece attaches any actual monetary figures to the 18-month deal but a couple of details lead to the possibility that someone opened up a large wallet.
First, it's Uzbekistan. Second, Bunyodkor didn't even exist five years ago. It was started less than four years ago as an amateur team and has gained promotion every year until it reached the Uzbek top flight in 2007.
In its first season in the Uzbek Professional Football League Bunyodkor finished second. Last season they finished first, breaking a seven year stranglehold on the title by FX Paxtakor, and doubled down by winning the league cup as well. They also made it to the Asian Champions League semis.
Third this is the club that last year made international football headlines when it said it was on the verge of signing Samuel Eto'o away from Barcelona. And within days was also reportedly visited by both Andres Iniesta and Cesc Fabregas. It kind of seemed utterly ridiculous until the club successfully signed Brazilian Rivaldo away from AEK Athens on a $14 million two-year contract.
Fourth, they are building a $150M 35,000 seat stadium in Tashkent to be completed next March.
So either A) the Uzbek League is easier than the Island of Lesbos U-13 division, or B) someone has been pouring money into the club to make it a competitor on a larger stage than the Aral Sea coast.
Probably C) both.
But this is the same club that lured Zico to its doors to manage (Scolari succeeds him), still has Rivaldo on its roster and he is joined by fellow joga bonit'ers Luizão, Edson Ramos, and Joao Victor (there are only 2 other non-Uzbeks on the 30 man roster). So while this seems like a long fall from Stamford Bridge for Big Phil there is a short history of a Brazilian connection for the club with almost no history.
Still, money. That's really gotta be the reason.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Bunny Odd Core Is the Best Name for a Music Genre That Doesn't Exist
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
FC United pull a Radiohead
FC United: far from shaky in the Northern Premier League Premier Division
The non-league club born out of anti-Glazer sentiment, FC United, has decided to mimic Thom Yorke's master scheme in sales, allowing fans to set their own price for season tickets. They're recommending 90 pounds (160 bucks?) as a minimum, and will evaluate the plan after a month's trial.
No word yet if the club is also adopting Karma Police as its team anthem.
It's a bold move for the grassroots club, currently operating in the Lancastrian shadow of two of the sport's biggest spenders. After all, with the world's economy still struggling, sports teams need to compete with more innovation than ever before when it comes to trying to get money from your pocket.
They're not offering season tickets for free (after all, they don't have the accumulated wealth of Yorke and co. following a string of hit albums), but they're setting recommended minimum prices and hoping that enough spend on either side of the 90 pound mark to keep the club running.
Says FC United general manager Andy Walsh:"The Premier League clubs have put up prices regardless of the ability of people to pay. Those that can afford to pay continue to pay and those that can't fall off the end. Ultimately that will undermine the game of football, which has always been about inclusivity, not exclusivity.
Considering that they've managed average attendances of more than 2,500 throughout their four-year existence to date, it's an idea so wild it might just work.
"For many, when prices go up there is no alternative. We've demonstrated there is an alternative model that puts the supporter at the very heart of the football club rather than on the fringes."
For the sake of grassroots soccer's survival, let's hope that it does.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Quick Throw: How to Argue in Public to Get What You Want
Meelan president Silvio Berlusconi is not happy with manager Carlo Ancelotti, accusing him of wasting the club's season and being the sole reason why they lost the league.
Sounds like a very transparent and silly spat so Carlo gets miraculously released from Rossonieri duty in the summer in order to join Chelsea.
Still, I do appreciate the effort.
[Guardian Sport]
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Dios Mio, Diego
For those who enjoy schadenfreude, peep the latest chapter in Diego Maradona's managerial adventures: a 6-1 defeat in Bolivia, their worst defeat since a 5-0 pasting to the Colombians back in 1993.
On the bright side, at least no-one got hurt, right?
Vids and more after the jump.
1st Half
2nd Half
It was an ugly game for the Argies, who clearly failed to adjust to both the stifling thin air up there in La Paz, but to the new formation Maradona's been trying recently.
As Tim Vickery gushed over at the BBC, Diego's got the Albicelestes trying to run a 3-4-3 in a bid to keep all his strikers and attacking midfielders happy. When you're blessed with a front line of Tevez, Diego's son-in-law Aguero, and Messi, you do what you need to do. Add to that the raw talents of Ezequiel Lavezzi, and there's a logjam of strikers.
Against Bolivia, he ran a limp 4-4-2, changing everything entirely from the win over Venezuela; with the creaking veteran duo of Zanetti and Heinze at the back with newcomer Emiliano Papa comically holding down the middle (I'd mention Demichelis, but what's the point?), they got stomped.
It didn't matter that Gago and Mascherano both started in central midfield and tried to assert their good cop/bad cop routine (one leadeth the attack, the other taketh away), for they were overrun from the get-go. The goalie is new, the formations are new, and they're at a crossroads.
With all the changes and tactical "innovations", it all comes back to one thing: Maradona is about as good at managing a soccer team as he is at managing his drug addictions and violent temper.
They're lacking an identity and a style, looking more like a haphazard collective of individuals than anything remotely resembling a team, and it comes down to Maradona's inability to forge some continuity from the many talents his country is producing.
Said the tubby one, in typical florid style: "I suffered with them. Every Bolivia goal was a stab in my heart. If we had dreamed this was going to happen before the game, we would have thought it was impossible."
Sincere or not, something needs to change. For those of us that enjoy seeing the Argies falter, let's hope things stay just the way they are.
Alan Shearer as Manager? NOT an April Fool.
If I was a betting man, and I might just be, I'd call his move desperate and expect him not to be in charge next season. As Newcastle bring in their 4th manager of the 2008/09 season, and arguably their most folkloric hero and footballing icon, one wonders just how long the novelty and magic will lock in place.
With Shearer, an uninteresting, media-friendly pundit with no managerial experience, now in charge, the "New Manager Effect" faces its strongest challenge to date.
First, to lay out the terms:
- He's back for 8 games aka until the end of the season
- His wage? 100k per game
- 2m incentive bonus should Newcastle United avoid the drop
Not a bad deal really, although if Joe Kinnear was taking a gamble on his reputation when he turned up, Alan certainly is now.
The hero factor is unquestionable; he's their prolific scorer, an England hero, an all-round likeable guy, and now he's being asked to rescue his club from the grim reality of relegation. Dennis Wise, their rather awful Director of Football, has left the club, and Shearer has no plans of bringing in another middleman to replace him. If this ship is going down, Alan wants no buffer between him and the skittish Mike Ashley.
He did bring in Iain Dowie, who presumably brings all the managerial experience that Shearer will need to do his job. It looks, at face value, as a savvy move; Shearer is the good luck charm, the talisman, the fountain of positivity, whereas Dowie will do the bulk of the dirty work considering he knows that side of the game.
And, like Bryan Gunn at Norwich, the same situation exists: if he succeeds, it's another feather in the cap of his already-epic image with the fans. If he fails, then at least they did it the right way with their hometown boy in charge.
Being cynical, I'd say that Ashley doesn't exactly feel optimistic about their chances, and sought to buffer himself from the pitchforked masses in the summertime by pulling a glorious PR move right before the Grim Reaper turns up with Colaship parachute money.
Let's hope Alan is aware of how quickly idol worship can fade when the results don't come.
So... the big question: will it succeed? Will Newcastle avoid the plunge with their Golden Boy in charge, or is this another PR disaster for a club in dire straits?
[Already, Michael Owen has said he'll re-sign with the Magpies if Shearer stays on. I'll leave that as a separate discussion topic.]
Friday, March 13, 2009
Quick Throw: Jose looks for a way out
From the Sun (now 100% hyperbole!), we learn that the pressure on Mourinho is now so great, especially since they lost to United on Wednesday, that he's on the verge of quitting. He might well end up back in the EPL.
On a scale of 1-10, how awesome would that be?
[The Sun]
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Want results? Get Juande.
Nope. No irony in that whatsoever.
Is it just me, or do Real Madrid seem more like a club founded on novelty and entertainment value than actual winning?
I could well be off-base here, but I feel like their recent run of form doesn't have the invincibility that it once did.
They score a lot, concede a lot, and they just got dumped from the Spanish Cup by a team from the third tier of Spanish football.
Now, they appear to be chasing further comedy.
How? By wanting to hire Juande Ramos.
Club president Ramon Calderon's been stirring up trouble in his tenure at Real, slagging off Beckham once he left for Los Angeles (saying he'll amount to nothing more than "an average cinema actor, working in Hollywood), as well as chasing just about every prized footballing possession of every club in Europe. He hounded Fergie about Ronaldo, he went after Kaka, and he tried to unsettle Fabregas. All in all, he's a bit of a dick.
Now, with his team in danger of becoming rather effective and modestly successful under German Bernd Schuster, a guy who brought him a league title and Supercopa trophy last season, Calderon's clearly looking for some more tabloid-grabbing spice with a courtship of Juande Ramos, perhaps the worst manager England has seen for some time. [Ed. Note: I really, really, really love hyperbole]
Of course, with this information coming from The Sun, you can hardly bet the house on it, but the defeat to Real Union in the Cup is clearly hurting behind closed doors, not to mention the inability to stop anyone scoring goals against them (they've let in 16 in 10 games thus far, making them West Brom-esque at the back).
I don't think for one second that Ramos could solve their issues. After all, they're missing Van Nistelrooy for the rest of the year with knee-knack, Raul is slowing down at age 31, and their defense is shambolic.
Still, for the headlines and hilarity, I'd love to see him try.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Thoughts on Maradona
Alright, so we're all a little excited and frightened about the news that Diego Maradona might well become the next manager of Argentina. How on earth did this happen? It's a perplexing announcement, to say the least. We kicked it around this morning, and after the jump, a few thoughts from everyone on surely the best managerial rumour in years.
Bigus Dickus:
The appointment of Maradona is a disgrace. The man is a cheat. He believes cheating is part of the game and that it should be encouraged under the name of "cheekiness". He should have been banned after the 'hand of god' incident in 1986, as he robbed 52 million people in that game and instead he was celebrated. Says a lot for the people of Argentina. That incident ruined my entire summer that year and forced parents to explain to children that cheating brought victory.
He brings the game into disrepute. He will surely be a bad example to young Argentines like Gago and Messi. Watch them become cheat's also. The AFA should be ashamed of themselves. Maradona ruined his amazing skills by robbing opponents and he still believes that cheating is right. He is bad for the world game and quite honestly it's a shame he is still with us.
This quote sums it up: "It was my hand (but) no, I don't think it was cheating. Cunning, cheekiness, craftiness, but not cheating." - Maradona.
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The Likely Lad:
Everyone thought Klinsmann was going to be a disaster, and while I'm not going to compare the two temperamentally, I think you could see a similar hosing of the expectations. Yes, he's going to do some weird shit. Yes, his press conferences are going to be clown shows. And without a doubt, he will completely alienate one or two important players. But guess what, I think he'll bring out the best in some guys you didn't think had much to give. As for Messi, unless Maradona kicks him in training-- and that's not impossible-- he'll be fine.
Final Verdict from the Lad:
Safe Choice? No. Potential for entertainment on and off the field? Staggering.
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Autoglass:
I refuse to believe this Maradona business. It must be April 1st somewhere. It's nonsense. It's crazy. Argentina is a proud footballing nation. Always one of the top five teams in the world. They play with power and beauty. They have the best kits in international football. And they make the English absolutely insane (the English blame Maradona for his "Hand of God" goal in the '86 Cup so that they don't have to watch Maradona's second - and winning - goal in that match.). In fact, this would only make sense if the Argies were concerned primarily with making the English insane. And they aren't.
Anyhoo, the notion that Argentina would hand over their national team to this fat, drug-abusing, deluded, utterly inexperienced manager is not just crazy...I refuse to believe it. It can't happen. Has Lute Olsen taken over the Argentine F.A. and chose Maradona because he can't get Mickey Mouse on the phone? It would be like the Lakers replacing Phil Jackson with Dennis Rodman. Would you believe that if you read it?
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Precious Roy:
There is no way this doesn't end well. Because if through some crazy underhanded shenanigans by the Gods this works and he pilots the Argies to victory in 2010, then hey, who couldn't win with that collection of talent? So yeah for Maradona. But the far more likely outcome that this goes the way of Isiah and the Knicks, holy shit is it going to be an entertaining freak show. A that's a win for the entirety of the non-Argentine football loving world. Brilliant job by the AFA.
-----
Spectator:
Scene: Maradona, Messi, Riquelme, and Tevez are on a football training
ground in Buenos Aires. Translated from Spanish (natch):
Maradona: Yeah, so, okay boys, gather around, stop dribbling that football. Let me tell you about the Hand of God at the 1986 World Cup.
Riquelme: Coach, but shouldn't we start preparing for our next qualifying match against Venezuela?
Maradona: Am I not the football coach?? I am teaching you how to win. (sniff) Right, so, the Hand of God, I was down there in the penalty area, those slow English defenders Hodge and Valdano are trying to cover me and....
Messi: But coach, we should really be working on our set pieces now, right? The game is in two days.
Maradona: (sniff) That's it! Messi, you're benched for the game.
Messi: But coach!?! I'm the team's best player.
Maradona: No, I am the best player on the squad, and I'll be taking your place. Now, more importantly, the Hand of God. Right, so, I'm down there in the English penalty area, I get past Hodge and Valdano, and then there's just the goalie Shilton to beat. That's when I lift the ball up, and then, knowing the ref was some stupid Tunisian...
Tevez: We know, coach, you used your hand. You've already admitted it. Now, look, we all want to get back to practicing for the big game. At this rate we won't even qualify for the World Cup!
Maradona: Enough! I can't believe that I can't even finish the story of the most miraculous goal ever scored without you little shits interrupting me. You are all benched! I'll play all 11 positions myself. Get off the pitch, get out of here!
FIN
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Ian:
Looks like the Argentine FA is making the same high quality decisions as the country's incompetent Presidential duo. I can see them wanting to instill a certain level of passion or desire in the players, but installing Maradona as coach reeks of desperation. And unlike Klinsman, Diego doesn't strike me as a coaching innovator full of new ideas and tactics. Instead, he is someone who wasted his athletic gifts and nearly died due to drugs and alchohol (in Buenos Aires the cocaine is named after Diego).
It's hard to imagine the players taking Maradona seriously as a coach, even if they revere him for his past accomplishments. The only way this works is if they put someone like Sergio Batista, who led the U-23s to the gold medal this summer, as the #2, and let Maradona spend his time sparring with the media and getting inside the head of Messi.
Seriously, though, this reeks of desperation.
-----
Moonshine Mike:
The pressers will be the best thing to happen to football. I expect a sex scandal, a betting scandal, and a drug scandal, in that order within 18 months if not from him, then from folks he has hired.
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The Fan's Attic:
There is no way this doesn't end well for us, Unprofessional Foul. Maradona is batshit insane. Maybe he can manage, but I doubt it. His press conferences and sideline antics will be worth the price of admission. If he succeeds great, he'll be even more insane. If he loses spectacularly he'll probably a little less insane than if they won. It's a win-win for the soccer snark business.
However, I firmly believe this will actually kill Maradona. I don't think his body can take that stress, especially if it doesn't go well. If he dies of a heart-attack on the sideline, I will not be surprised. It will only serve to make him a greater soccer god in the minds of Argentinians and I can't fault somebody dying while participating in something they truly love.
In short, this will be a giant mess of Maradona.
-----
u75:
If this comes to pass, it will be a lot of fun to watch. I think, though, that Maradona will do a better job with the team than Domenech has in France. While that may seem like apples and oranges, I say that the insane guy without real coaching experience is going to screw up less than the insane guy who thinks he knows what he's doing.
In all, his style will be the bluster of Mourinho, but without the results.
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Sven:
The only acceptable way (and likely) way for Maradona's tenure as the Argies' manager is on the sideline from a massive coronary.
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The NY Kid:
Is Maradona capable of running the Argentinian national team? I guess that depends on the availability of an all-you-can-eat buffet on the sideline and all-you-can-do cocaine on the team bus. While a fat, coked-up Maradona would certainly be an entertaining option, I would argue that it is also the only way that he can be successful. I mean, would you want a hungry, fiending Maradona considering strategy and formations? That's how we ended up with the 4-5-1! Sure, it will likely lead to a heart attack on the sideline, but if it also results in victory in South Africa I'm sure the rest of the country won't mind.
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What do you all think? Inspired push for glory, or sad, desperate PR move that could ruin its best players of the current generation?
Speak your mind in the comments. Further dramatic scenes like Spectator's are welcomed.
Friday, October 24, 2008
Why can't Iain Dowie keep a job?
The news has filtered out today that Iain Dowie has been sacked as boss of Queen's Park Rangers after barely five months on the job. It's the third job Dowie has lost since lying his way out of a successful stint at Crystal Palace. Why is Dowie having such a hard time keeping a job lately?
Interestingly, his stint in charge of QPR lasted just as long as his time in charge of Charlton in 2006--15 games. However, where Dowie was pretty bad at Charlton--17 points in those 15 games--at QPR he totaled 28 points in his tenure. In between, Dowie toiled at Coventry City for just under a year. There he earned 68 points in 49 games. (All totals include cup ties which have been given the standard three points for a win and 1 point for a draw)
So, is he a toxic personality? His sacking at Charlton was pretty much a given. The team was struggling early to stay up in the Prem, a goal it eventually failed to reach. At Coventry City, he was able to light an early fire under a poorly-positioned squad, but was eventually released due to differences of opinion between the board and Dowie. Which, if I remember my Queen's to American English translation correctly, means that he's a dick.
As for the QPR job, well, Dowie did not have a playoff place (at the very least) standing. As Bigus pointed out in his season preview, this was a team that was looking to buy its way back into the Premiership. Being in ninth place at the quarter-season pole did not make the bosses happy. Bigus should also be congratulated for stating the obvious--that Dowie is overrated as a manager and has done nothing to keep getting hired.
So, to summarize for the tl;dr crowd: Dowie is shit as a manger, and possibly an ass to boot. Also, he will have a new job by Christmas. The man must give a great interview to overcome that CV.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Bernd Stange has had a crazier life than you
As the hours tick down before England's clash with Belarus in Minsk tonight, much is being made in the press about Belarus coach Bernd Stange and his wild and crazy life. Whereas most footballers fill their lives with sex, porn, alcoholism and debauchery, Stange's career has featured the complete opposite: spying, firings, sultans, and Saddam Hussein.
It was reported a few weeks ago in my favourite footballing periodical (one that's well worth the extra Euros for a subscription in the US), but it bears playing out the highlights, all of which can be found just about anywhere today.
I get it, he managed the Iraqi team, he was a Stasi informant for many years, and now he's plying his trade in Belarus, a place the US State Department singled out as "Europe’s only remaining outpost of tyranny," which, as a student of political rhetoric, has a charming oratorial ring to it.
Despite all the drama and personal background that'd be perfect for another Jason Bourne movie, Stange is all about the results:
I have worked for communist regimes, a dictator, capitalists and for a sultanate. But my work is always the same. It’s only ever about one thing – putting the ball in the net.It sure is, Bernd, it sure is. Arsenal might need you soon.
But all joking aside, is it impossible that he could eventually land a managerial job somewhere a little more high-profile?
He's managed several teams to league titles (FC Carl Zeiss Jena, Perth Glory, Apollon Limassol in Cyprus) as well as boosting Belarus to their highest FIFA Ranking ever, bumping them up 35 spots to 59th in just 15 months on the job.
Looking at the EPL, for example, there are several teams that could use his unique blend of fear, surveillance, dictatorial leadership and thirst for goals*. After all, if he can grind out results with Apollon Limassol, a side that just about avoided relegation the year Stange took over, only to win the League and Super Cup double the next season, how much harm could he do with the ineptitude being cultivated at White Hart Lane?
Stange has even commented on the subject, given his obvious love for a challenge: "I do like challenges but Liverpool, Manchester United and Bayern Munich didn't call me to take their clubs."
Considering the rumors that Juventus are targeting Rafa Benitez, I'll be the first to make the completely dumb proposition that Stange could end up at Anfield, although let's be honest -- the only way he ends up there is if his plane to New York stops at John Lennon International Airport to refuel.
And anyway, we all know he'd be much better off back in the Bundesliga.
* My first ludicrous, Bleacher Report-esque assertion in UF history
Read more on "Bernd Stange has had a crazier life than you"...
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Zola begins his pint-sized reign at Upton Park
Well, it's official, after days and days of feverish, frantic interviews by Icelandic billionaire owner Bjorgolfur Gudmundsson, the manager-less HMS West Ham has found a new skipper, albeit one who might need a booster seat or a couple of phone books in order to see over the top of the steering wheel.
Gianfranco Zola, a man with absolutely no managerial experience whatsoever, is now charged with the unenviable task of keeping the Hammers relevant and competitive amid a slew of mid-table clubs becoming richer and richer and leaving teams like West Ham struggling to stay relevant and secure. Before Zola, they were looking at a decent run, but Curbishley exited knowing full well that he was going to be undermined at every turn. It might not be physically possible to undermine the tiny Zola, but will this move succeed?
Before I go further, I am aware that Zola's at least been involved on the non-playing side of football, as his stint as assistant to fellow Chelsea teammate Pierluigi Casiraghi with the U-21s team was rather successful: one or both of 'em got the squad to the Olympics, where they lost 3-2 to Belgium. That last bit, not so good.
18 months later, he's managing an EPL team. Forgive me if his list of credentials seems rather, ahem, short.
The best quote came from West Ham managing director Scott Duxbury:"Gianfranco was a world-class player who wants his team to play exciting, attractive football, which is the West Ham way."
Out of the three candidates (Zola, ex-Hibs boss John Collins, and ex-Italy boss Roberto Donadoni), they went with the one who ultimately talked the biggest game.
I worry greatly for Gianfranco. Well, not too much, but you get the idea. EPL jobs don't exactly spring up every day, and West Ham's haste to find a replacement has led them to a guy with plenty of playing experience and leadership roles on the field, but very little proof of doing it off the field.
Is this really the best place to get his managerial start? A struggling mid-table club in the highest-profile, highest-pressure league in the world?
It took less than 2 months before Martin Jol lost his job at Spurs last season. Keegan? He lasted barely 8 months, 3 of which were the summer! Eriksson managed a single season at Eastlands before Trashcan axed him in favour of something more exciting, and we haven't even hit October yet.
Curbs and Koog are just the beginning, but considering the pressure in the EPL now, the pressure for the next-tier to keep some semblance of pace with the big-money teams, I wouldn't be surprised if Gianfranco's handed his walking papers before season's end.
Either way, the league, the Hammers, the press and the rest of us can all count on an entertaining ride.
Quoth Zola:"I know I am not the most experienced manager, but I have ideas and have been involved in football for 20 years."
We all look forward to seeing them. If he can teach Matthew Etherington to do this below, he might just be manager for life.
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