Quick Throw: Klinsi cut loose

Jurgen Klinsmann will be returning to Southern California full-time soon as Bayern Munich have relieved him of his duties. Bayern sit three points off leaders Wolfsburg with five matches remaining, meaning they will win the league. Also, unconfirmed reports say Bayern have asked for permission to talk to Arsene Wenger. Enjoy your injury-riddled kids teams, Bayern fans!

[BBC]

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CL Open Thread

The previews are below and the football is up ahead. Just a quarter-hour until Champions League (Chaaaaaahhhhhmpions!!!) glory is unleashed on the planet. And then there's the Liverpool-Chelsea game, which also begins in 15 mins.

Details after the leap...


Chelsea v. Liverpool on ESPN2 and ESPN2HD

Barcelona v. Bayern Munich on Setanta and Setanta Broadband (NO re-broadcast on ESPN Classic. Stupid F%^7ckin' Masters.)

Lineups:

at Anfield:

Liverpool: Reina, Arbeloa, Aurelio, Carragher, Skrtel (in the Riise role?), Xabi Alonso, Lucas, Kuyt (aka the Dutch Wayne Rooney), Riera, The Talismanic Steven Gerrard, Torres.
Subs: Cavalieri, Dossena, Hyypia, Agger, Benayoun, Babel, Ngog.

Chelsea: Cech, Ivanovic, Cole, Terry, Alex, Essien, Lampard, Ballack, Kalou, Malouda (hahahaha), Drogba.
Subs: Hilario, Carvalho, Belletti, Mancienne, Mikel, Deco, Anelka.

at the Nou Camp:

Barcelona: Victor Valdes, Dani Alves, Puyol, Marquez, Pique, Toure, Xavi, Iniesta, Messi, Henry, Eto'o.
Subs: Pinto, Caceres, Gudjohnsen, Bojan, Keita, Sylvinho, Busquets.

Bayern Munich: Butt, Breno, Ze Roberto, Demichelis, Altintop, Van Bommel, Oddo, Lell, Schweinsteiger, Ribery, Toni.
Subs: Rensing, Podolski, Ottl, Sosa, Lahm, Borowski, Badstuber.

Fearless predictions: Altintop will score a goal. Barca will win, but not by enough to moot the second leg... There will be two goals scored in the Pool-Chelsea game, either one for each or both for Los Rojos.

Enjoy!


***Halftime Update***

for you Johnny and Jenny-come-latelies...

Barcelona 4, Bayern 0

Goals: Messi 9, 38; Eto'o 12, Henry 43
Yellow cards: Messi 17
Red cards: None


Liverpool 1, Chelsea 1

Goals: Torres 6; Ivanovic 39
Yellow cards: Kalou 31
Red cards: None

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CL Quarterfinals Preview: Barcelona v. Bayern Munich

We are all made of stars!
Oh, to be anywhere in the world of sport today... to be at the Nou Camp for this footy feast!

Let's start here: it's a shame ESPN decided (as if there were ever really a choice) to air the annual Chelsea/Liverpool sweater-puller ahead of Messi, Klinsi, Henry, Eto'o, Klose, Toni, and, perhaps most importantly, Munich's beleaguered center backs. The potential for Barca to run riot up the middle is real, as is the prospect that Klinsmann will instruct his lads to defend with the ball at their feet. To push for goals, goals, goals.

Compare this to the parallel fixture back in ol' Blighty and you have, well, no comparison at all. People have been complaining about Liverpool/Chelsea for years and while they've been mostly turgid affairs from a technical standpoint, the games have been memorable. They've had juice. They've had injustice! (Or not) They've had heat and errant heads.

But gone are the days of Mourinho & Makelele -- when Chelsea were a riddle to unlock-- and with Liverpool focused on trying to pussyfoot into the EPL Title back door, the doings on ESPN2 carry even less allure. (The fact is that Liverpool only began to stomp ass when they were left for dead in England, and even then, with one sniff of United's tail Los Rojos were back to their old ways, bailed out by another 90th minute miracle from the the Seder-skipping Vunderjuden.)


The REAL Theatre of Dreams!
But I digress, what we have here (catch it on Setanta or Setanta Broadband) in balmy Catalunya is the hope for a Sunday-style shootout. For no talk about away goals. At least not in the context of "get one, then park der volkswagens back in Munich." With Munich's central defense so hobbled, it'll be interesting to see how the home side shuffle their numbers. Breno, a teenager, and Martin Demichelis will be charged with blunting Barca's terrifying triumvirate, and should one of them fall, it'll be a lad named Holger Badstuder on in his place. All the more reason we have to think Bayern will look for possession. And goals.

It's goals, after all, that have kept Klinsi in his job at Munich for this long. Sitting fourth in the Bundesliga, maybe the only team in the top flight to not hold the top spot for at least an hour this season, it has been Champions League dreamball that's kept the manager in Chairman Rummenigge's modest graces. At their best, Bayern remind you of Germany in summer 2006. This team has a lot of the same key players (though Klose is out through injury) and a lot of similar tensions, mostly surrounding the manager and his decidedly not stereotypically German managerial peccadilloes.

Bayern will need vintage (is that the word? Probably not) Podolski, Toni to nick something, Schweinsteiger to crack something, Ribery to grind and create, Lahm to bomb one... they'll need a lot.

Barcelona will need only to be what Barcelona have always been. They're not more than a club, but they're still something special. It's in the Catalan beach breeze. Sing it, now!

Useful information

*Kickoff at 2.45 edt
*Yaya Toure and Al Hleb are fit for Barca... as are Messi and Alves, both restricted to sub roles last week in La Liga
*for Bayern, if you're a center back above the age of 20 and not named Demichelis, you're not fit (or home in Belgium on "personal leave," like Daniel van Buyten.)

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Champions League Preview: Sporting v. Bayern

The first leg of the Champions League knockout round continues today at 2:45 (EST), with the remaining 8 clubs facing off. Sporting Lisbon finished second in their group, behind Barcelona and ahead of FC Basel and Shaktar Donetsk.

Bayern Munich finished first in their group, ahead of Lyon, Steaua Bucuresti, and Fiorentina.

Sporting coach Paulo Bento sees his side come into the knockout stage after having played second-fiddle both domestically and in European competition for the past few months.

The club was always projected for second in their group behind Barcelona in the Champions League and they are making their first ever appearance in the knockout stage, while at home in Portugal they trail perennial favorite Porto by 4 points for the title.

Bayern, in contrast, sit 4th in the Bundesliga amidst an up-and-down season, but have been consistent Champions League contenders in their history (aside from last year) winning 4 titles in the competition with the last coming in 2001.

Unfortunately for Sporting, they have failed to beat a Bundesliga side in their 14 previous attempts during UEFA competitions, and many feel that today's match represents another uphill battle despite being played at Estadio Jose Alvalade in Lisbon. Bento himself has downplayed expectations:

"For a number of reasons, Bayern are clear favourites. They are a very well-organised team and well-balanced, so we have to be organised and, above all, enjoy the game."

Coming into this match, Sporting will have to deal with the loss of striker Postiga to injury, while Bayern will most likely may able to start Luca Toni as he returns from injury. The renewed pairing of Toni with Klose, who is tied for the CL leading scorer position with 5 goals, should give Bayern a reasonable edge in this match.

Expected Line-ups:
Sporting Lisbon: Tiago, Silva, Tonel, Polga, Grimi, Rochemback, Izmailov, Vukcevic, Moutinho, Liedson, Derlei

Bayern Munich: Rensing, Oddo, Lucio, van Buyten, Lahm, Altintop, van Bommel, Ze Roberto, Ribery, Klose, Toni

Prediction:
2-1 Bayern, with goals from Lahm, Klose, and Liedson.

1-0 Bayern in the 2nd leg, with a Ribery goal.

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Bayern Munich May Not Be Too Interested in Signing Lando

Looks like the resurrection of Landon Donovan might've hit a snag. While speaking with the German press over the weekend, Bayern's chairman Karl-Heinz Rummenigge was quoted as saying:

Donovan is an interesting player. But when you have Klose, Toni and Olic already under contract, we think the fourth player (striker) should really be a young player with perspective.

After chalking up the last bit about young players having perspective as lost in translation, what's left is either feigned non-interest in an attempt to bring down the transfer fee, or legit non-interest. We're guessing it's a little bit of both.

As others, such as our friend Greg Lalas have speculated, one of the sticking points appears to be that MLS would want in the neighborhood of US$15 million for Landycakes. For that price, Bayern probably could snatch up a 19-year-old up-and-comer as opposed to a 26-year-old fourth striker.

The other thing to consider is that Lando was ostensibly brought in by Jurgen Klinsmann, who may not have the highest standing with the club at the moment. Let's just say that if the Kaiser admits that Bayern aren't favorites to win the Bundesliga, than the manager is on shaky ground. And that's even assuming that Klinsy would want Donovan to stay in the first place.

So where does that leave our beloved pygmy striker? To his credit, Donovan has gone over to Europe with the right attitude and seems intent on dispelling all those many criticisms that have been lobbed his way. Although his performance this weekend subbing on for an injured Luca Toni was pretty abject (according to the NY Kid, who actually watched the match), some of that has to be chalked up to jetlag after the US v. Mexico match. Otherwise, Lando has looked okay, scoring in friendlies and subbing on late in games. But maybe that's simply not good enough to earn a contract from Bayern -- or, at least, the $15 million outlay to sign said contract.

Meanwhile, if the Galaxy/MLS have proven anything lately, it's that they are fast becoming experts on protracted transfer negotiations. Our guess for how this ends? Donovan winds up in Europe in the next few months, but not with Bayern. The only way to justify his transfer fee is if he's starting regularly. And Donovan has probably done enough during this loan spell to earn that, even if it's with another club.

(Photo: AP/Christof Stache)

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Donovan On The Blitzkrieg

The shirt seems to finally fit.

Landon Donovan is having a good time in the Middle East during Bayern Munich's winter training. Yesterday, Donovan played a full 90 and had an assist in the German side's victory. Today, the American all-time goal scorer earned his first Bayern goal in injury time.

A halftime substitute for Luca Toni, Donovan hammered the nail in on the Saudi side Al-Wehda's coffin. Landon managed to secure possession of a misplayed header in the box and made good on a nice turn and shoot from the eighteen.

This all comes at a time when Klinsmann is savaging Podolski for not having enough fight in him to earn more playing time, there are press rumors that Podolski will be transferred out, and Klinsmann is naming Donovan his number three striker behind Toni and Miroslav Klose.

Whether this is all a ploy to motivate Podolski remains to be seen. But, it seems the stars could be aligning for a return to Deutschland for Donovan. He is playing well and there may be room for him. I hope it works out for him.

Soccer By Ives has the video.

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Landycakes and Beckypants: a tale of two MLS runaways

Err, David? Don't squeeze him too hard, he's the valuable one!

To my surprise, both LA Galaxy defectors got some decent playing time this weekend. No, their European adventures are not merely exercises in brand development, product endorsement, shirt sales and/or possible reconnaissance for new porn starlets (Donovan has a career behind the camera on some dodgy VW van sex series, doesn't he?), but they're actually in Germany and Italy to have an impact for their respective teams.

We'll brush aside the semantics of "impact", considering both teams are already loaded to the brim with talent and are settling in for the usual title chases in their respective leagues, but if we make an analogy to ice cream, well, one more chocolate chip can't hurt, can
it?

So how did they do?

At the Mohammed Bin Zayed Stadium, Bayern beat Dubai's Al Jazeera FC 3-2 in a friendly, and Landy got a full 90 minutes, setting up two goals and generally impressing the guy who should be managing the US Men's Team immensely. "Landon has class," was all Klinsmann really had to say, but that's alright, as we have video!


(Yes, that's Donovan with the final pass to Bastian Schweinsteiger)

He was fouled in the 2nd half, winning a free-kick that Daniel Van Buyten put away for their 2nd goal, and he was one of only two players to get a full game. Not bad, Landy, not bad. I give you six weeks until you get homesick due to never seeing the pitch during games of actual consequence.

Meanwhile, in Italy, Beckham's Milan fought hard against Roma for a 2-2 draw, and while Beckham's performance was tidy, it was really all about Pato. As Paolo Bandini reflects, Pato got both goals and Becks' input was largely limited to the occasional cross and/or corner.

However, shades of rust were evident as he gave the ball away more than anyone else on the pitch (tied with the also-ran Clarence Seedorf for 13, um, giveaways? New soccer stats are frightening) and was outranked by Ronaldinho for the honour of taking most of the juicy free-kicks around the box. Still, Ancelotti surprised everyone by giving Beckham the start while Flamini languished on the bench, but overall, an encouraging start for him too.

Still, all this buzz about Landon in Germany and David in Italy only serves to reinforce one essential thing: one of 'em certainly isn't returning to Los Angeles on time, and the other may well have finally gotten over their previous European malaise to give it another try.

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UF Monday Market Place

The Market Place is back for its second week. And with a new cool new graphic. See it? Up above... clever, eh? Credit to Bigus. In case you missed the first edition, a reminder: Past performance is not indicative of future returns. We're just as clueless as everyone else, if occasionally more droll. Like this chair.




BUY! BUY ! BUY!

...until we freak out on national television and tell you to sell the kids for food.

Buy Barca-- This as much a comment on the sorry state of Real as it is about the marauding Catalans. Barcelona dropped four on then-second place Valencia Saturday-- apparently some French guy had a big game-- then watched Madrid come back twice, only to lose 4-3 on an 85th min goal from Sevilla's Renato. The vultures are in flight to the capital.

Buy Fulham-- Haven't lost since November 1. Haven't lost at home since September 27. Three straight draws with Liverpool, Villa, and Man. City. We're in. Rescue Roy was no fluke. The middle of the table is their playground. Oh, and try to pick up a some Jimmy Bullard-backed derivatives while your wallet's open.

Buy The Hoff-- UF's favorite Germans dropped a three-pointer with Bayern on Friday, but goal differential keeps them first. Scoring for Hoffenheim in that game... who else? Vedad Ibisevic. The One That Got Away is a goal machine. Too bad he's "Bosnian" and will never see a big international stage. Bigus loves these guys because they play in a small town where everyone's related, the bartenders to the nuns, the farmers to their cattle, etc.

Buy FC Nantes-- A big boost for the little guys this weekend. Ivan Klasnic and his many kidneys netted two, including a winner to nip perpetual champs Lyon at the death. With it, Les Canaris took a nice, long 3-point stride clear of the drop. And they play in the city that inspired this.

Buy Women's Soccer... In America A nice weekend for the ladies. The U.S. U-20 team are World Cup champs and North Carolina knocks off previously undefeated and untied Notre Dame for their 1,243rd NCAA title.

Buy Hibernian's John Rankin-- True or not, the Cabbage man says his side actually practiced the long range "squiggler" he used to beat Celtic's Artur Boruc this weekend. Said Rankin, "There was maybe a wee bit of luck on my part, but I'm delighted and I'll take the goal." Way to throw the "wee" in there pal. All class.

Buy Norwich City's Inevitable Letdown Loss vs...-- Watford. They'd have probably lost anyway, but coming off an either really thrilling or really pedestrian derby win, they're a sure bet.

Buy The Big Four staying The Big Four-- With all that's gone wrong for this group, there's little doubt (Sorry Villa) that come May it won't be some variation on Chelsea, Man. U., Liverpool, Arsenal. The Premier League is like Jazz: There's a lot happening. Moving parts. But in the end, it's just a few notes over and over in different permutations.
-----

Sell! For Chrissakes, Sell it all! Light it on fire, just be done with it!!



...until next week, when everything bounces back but your checking account. Sawwrry.

Sell Robbie Keane-- Liverpool would if they could. So why not you? Keane never made it off the bench Saturday. Not that it hurt much. Liverpool rolled Blackburn (we'll get to them in a minute) 3-1. And though we're not buying rumors Rafa is actually trying to sell Keane back to Spurs, some of us really enjoy the fact that someone is making them up.

Sell Bayern Munich manager Uli Hoeness-- Has his boys in a deadlock with The Hoff atop the Bundesliga after a last minute winner in Munich. But don't be fooled, Hoeness enjoys the win with a glass of red-faced whine. He's upset with the media's treatment of The Hoff... biggest fairy tale he's every seen... too much money... they can never win a general election... wants a series of townhall-style debates...

Sell Paul Ince-- On our Poo List for the second week running. We reckon Keane's departure from Sunderland has undone his last few hinges.

Sell Joleon Lescott-- Two wonderful goals. Noted. Now go put your shirt back on and play defense. Idiot.

Sell MLS in Seattle-- Peter Vagenas? Freddie Ljungberg? Hardly the cornerstones of a franchise that's going to do anything meaningful. Then again, if a team from New York can be Western Conference Champions, is anything really meaningful about your league?

Sell Newcastle-- Heroic performance at the Bridge, then you give up a 92nd minute equalizer to Stoke. Joe Kinnear won't last past the end of the season when they have a chance to really reevaluate their team.

And while you're at it, sell on anyone you know who might have actually predicted, or god forbid, bet on Newcastle to win this game. I'm not saying they shouldn't have won before or won't win again, but you can't ever expect it.

Sell the Ballon d'Or-- Sell it or re-name it the EPL MVP Award, because as fantastic as Ronaldo was in EPL play last season, that's how much he disappointed in the Champs League and Euro '08. He missed two PKs, one in the final, for Man. U. and lasted barely a week in Austria/Switzerland. Does that count for nothing? I'd have voted for Liverpool's Fantasic Fragile Fernado-- incredible debut season in England, Euro-winner playing alone up top against Germany-- over Ronaldo. Or Iker Casillas, the world's best keeper by a mile and winner of both La Liga and Euro '08.

Sell Artur Boruc-- He's like Heurelho Gomes without the brilliant saves! Quoteth Mad Dog Russo: "Heeeeeee Stinks!"
-----

Wait! Hold Still! Do Nothing! Freeze Up! We're confounded...


Hold on the Sunderland players-- Keane skipped out on them days before a trip to Old Trafford. So how do they respond? By losing. But they went down hard, defending well and looking generally glad to be rid of the Irishman. Will it be enough to keep them from yet another drop? We'll see.

Hold on Bolton-- Best November points-wise of anyone can't be spoiled by a loss to an angry Chelsea bunch (the Blues: Unbeaten after home losses this year!) Looks like these guys will be Wandering around England, putting Premier League crowds to sleep for at least another year.

Hold on Marouane Fellaini's 'fro There's some conflicting feelings here about this bizarre head fungus. I'd be inclined to sell, but there are just so few magical 'fros running around these days. If someone else steps in to fill the gap we'll ditch the guy in a second. How about Aaron Lennon? He's certainly capable. Imagine a huge pop-up 'fro running circles around the midfield, taking runs down the right... pounding crosses into defenders' shins... I'd buy that.

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Landon On Loan

Which is less surprising? That Landon Donovan is going to join Bayern Munich for a couple of months (and possibly until the end of the Bundesliga season) or that the people at ESPN can't fucking spell?

I'm not sure who this Donavan character is. But let's wish him well in Germany anyway.

Okay, okay. Glass houses. I'm sure we've made plenty of spelling and grammatical errors, but we're not the self-proclaimed "World Wide Leader" of anything. We're just a few guys who blog for fun... oh, and for the chicks.

Anyway, Landycakes now officially goes on loan to Bayern Munich starting Jan 1 and running through at least the middle of March (when ostensibly he would have to return to the Galaxy). Said manager Jürgen Kilnsmann: "The goal will be to see if we can get him long term, at least until the end of the season."

Wow, Klinsy and I have similar views on what constitutes "long term." He's as big a commitment-phobe as I am. Anyway, if the loan gets extended to season's end someone will be getting more preferential treatment than Goldenballs. We wish Donovan all the best. He's American and we like Americans. Even the ones who might have wussed out on previous occasions.

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Landycakes Landing in der Deutschland

Pretty amazing that Landycakes, one of the more innocuous players to ever sashay onto the pitch, is also one of the most divisive figures for American footy fans. We've got blue states and red states, rich and poor, and pro-Lando and against-Lando. But, in this new spirit of bipartisanship, I say we all come together and wish our receding-hairlined pygmy best of luck during his trial at Bayern Munich.

Look, credit where credit is due. Despite being a four-time MLS player of the year, the all-time USMT assist and goal leader, and having a century of caps, Landycakes has enough self awareness to know that his reputation will always be tainted by those two failed stints in Europe. The move to Bayern has been long-rumored and probably makes the most sense, with Klinsmann at the helm (for the time being at least) and a less-physical continental style that would suit Lando well compared to the EPL. You also gotta think that the Galaxy will be motivated to sell to clear up some salary for a couple players for Becks.

Assuming that Landycakes' trial turns into a permanent deal with Bayern, the trick will be if Donovan is willing to be a role player rather than the key man. Perhaps the Galaxy's abysmal season was a good preparation, as in how could it get any worse? On the plus side, Lando can play any midfield or forward position, has good speed, can deliver nice crosses into the box, can finish, works hard and he's still only 26 years old. But is he willing to accept a lesser role with a top-quality team? Will he be willing to stick it out if Klinsmann gets canned or the team underperforms? What happens when Lando is forced to sit on the bench?

And, for all the Lando haters, the most important question is how long until he comes sniveling back to MLS.

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Argentine defender giving it too much lip

Look at them smackers!

Conjecture or not, stories alleging plastic surgery and cosmetic enhancement for footballers are always welcome around here. I must admit I was surprised that the recipient of such treatments was not Cristiano Ronaldo. He must get those synthetic looks naturally, then.

No, this concerns a defender of the Argentine persuasion, Bayern Munich marauder Martin Demichelis, and his fondness for Botox.


According to the Daily Mail, bastion of all that is factual and un-sensationalized in the world, a leading South American cosmetic surgeon has outed Demichelis as a frequent benefactor of the lip-numbing treatment normally used by ladies to acquire the DSLs (although they don't know it yet).

Cristian Perez Latorre, the surgeon in question, was concise: "Demichelis is a footballer I have worked on. He injects Botox into his lips before games. He wants to look good."

Simple enough, although Demichelis was quick to scoff at the rumours: "It's laughable. I don't have an earring, any piercings or tattoos. And yet I am supposed to be using Botox?"

I'm sure it's a simple mix-up. The German newspaper Bild that initially broke the story believes that it could be slanderous revenge for comments Demichelis' girlfriend made about Latorre and his sub-standard surgery performed on a mutual friend, so there's your conspiracy theory right there.

Either way, true or false, the notion is hilarious. A footballer with puffed-up lips? John Terry might benefit from such a service before his next attempt to kiss up to the referee.

John Terry, are you interested?

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Mobsters Fixing Sporting Events... You Don't Say

A mildly successful soccer blog is passing along information found in an American-based sports publication that a leading Spanish newspaper is reporting that a Spanish judge has sent German prosecutors information suggesting Russian mobsters fixed last seasons UEFA Cup semifinal between Zenit St. Petersburg and Bayern Munich.

Okay, that's borderline plagiarism, but we couldn't resist piling on a couple of more parties given the opening paragraph of this report here in SI.com (a CNN Network Site).

The report is pretty thin on details but it mentions a taped conversation in which a "suspected" Russian mobster mentions a payout of 50 million of "an unspecified currency." A) Really, the SI link is so thin on info that if I quote (or paraphrase) much more of it, it will be reprinted here in its entirety. B) Let's hope for the sake of the fixee that the currency wasn't Zimbabwe Dollars, as about the time of the fixing was trading around ZW 250 million to $1 US.

Although maybe 20 cents is about right for a UEFA Cup semi.

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Bayern Munich: Team of UEFA Cup destiny?

For those that don't have FSC, or if you somehow missed their wall to wall UEFA Cup coverage yesterday, this may be news to you. If not, you can still revel in one of the most ridiculous finishes I have ever seen in knockout round play. Details, and video (as long as it stays up) after the jump.

The first leg of Bayern-Getafe ended in a 1-1 draw with Getafe scoring a pinball goal in the last minute to secure the draw.

Things looked good for Getafe to advance, given the away goal, but in the 6th minute of the return leg, De La Red saw red for a ghost tackle on a diving Miroslav Klose. At that point, it looked to be a pretty safe bet for Bayern to go through, as all they needed was one away goal against 10 man Getafe. Getafe did not back down, continuing to attack Bayern and were rewarded in the 44th minute with a goal. Bayern looked out of it for the most part in the second half. They were saved in the 89th minute when Franck Ribery powered home from 10 yards to draw the match 1-1 in regular time.

In extra time, Getafe abused Bayern from the outset, scoring two quick goals in five minutes to look to secure the tie. For the rest of the first fifteen minutes, Bayern pressed and Getafe counterattacked with numbers, but did not score again. It would come back to haunt the home side. In the 115th minute, Getafe keeper Pato dropped a ball right in front of Luca Toni who put the ball away. And in the 120th minute, on a last gasp attack Toni headed home a cross from 8 yards out. The header hit the line of the six-yard box and squirmed over the top of a useless Pato's outstretched hand. Look at the video below. You'll see just how ridiculous this games was.

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The Inevitable Letdown: Bayern-Aberdeen Liveblog

After last week's draw, Aberdeen travels to Munich this time to take on Bayern. Bayern hold the cards in this match up with a stronger team, 2 away goals and home field advantage. I'll be with you here until it gets to be too much for me, an Aberdeen fan, to bear.

image from mirror.co.uk

After the jump, some liveblogging. Feel free to join in my misery and send me emails to unprofessionalfoul@gmail.com.
_______________________________________________________________________________________
71.00 Goal Podolski. Now I get to stop paying attention, as well.

65.00 Nope. I'm calling it for this liveblog. If you want updates, go here. Thanks for stopping by. We'll do this again sometime, maybe for something I don't have to watch on a computer.

63.00 It looks like the feed just came back. Fingers crossed.

55.00 Feed gone again, possibly for good. Mackie booked for dissent. I wonder why?

49.25 Maybury over from 35. Shot looked good, but always just high.

48.00 Back with a better feed. Son is waking up. More interruptions to follow.

Kick Off Still no video. Will be stealing from other sources until I can see it myself.

Dammit Rangers tied it up in the 85th. Looks like they are going through.

HT Player seems to be giving me problems again. Hope to be back on it soon.

Halftime 2-0 Well, it could always be worse. Two goals off of setpieces give Bayern the lead. Both of the would have been saved if Langfiels spiked his hair with some strong gel. Beyond that, Aberdeen has, as could be expected, given up a lot of shots, with a couple of them threatening. Langfield has been superb when the ball is not going to the high center of goal.

Aberdeen need 2 to tie it up overall. I think they can sneak one in, but two is asking too much. Settle in, I'm getting some pizza, and be back in 15 minutes.

45.00 Lucio ( I think) off the post after a Langfield save. No injury time.

43.14 Kahn takes a back pass and almost lets it roll in goal. More for show than anything, there was no real danger.

42.00 Nicholson gets a yellow for dissent after the Bayern defender falls over Mackie and Makie gets called for the foul.

38.30 I take it back. Aberdeen has had their chances. 2 goals would bring extra time (3 goals and weep with joy). It's not black yet, but it's not looking good. Sagnol rolls around on the ground.

37.20 No way back now. Walker fires over from 35.

36.00 Van Buyten scores off the free kick. Langfield has whatever the opposite of a 5 hole is above his head. Two goals he should have saved. 2-0

35.00 Aluko gets a yellow after the German dives after taking two more steps. Who was it that did that horrible dive against Celtic last year? Some Italian. This was the same.

34.00 Just saw the Leverkusen mention. I was thrown because I did not see the stripes. Don't they usually wear stripes? And 5-0, wow.

33.00 If I were a conspiracy theorist, I'd bet this ref was a crushed Real Madrid fan back in '83. Every time Aberdeen get forward, a defender goes down and gets the call.

31.20 Ottl's well struck shot from 25 easily saved.

30.00 Aberdeen are very much showing that they only have 3 in the back giving up lots of shots, but thankfully only one goal. I wish that 5 in midfield would get ahold of the ball more often.

28.00 A bit of sustained pressure by Aberdeen yields a counterattack for Bayern. The cross is headed behind by Considine. Van Buyten's header off the corner goes to Langfield.

24.35 End to end now. Luca Toni passes Zander Diamond and gets saved by Langfield on a 20 yard shot.

23.15 OOOOHHHH. Darren Mackie gets behind the defense, goes far post, and misses by 6 inches. Kahn was beaten, but to no avail. Aberdeen are finding space in the back of Bayern.

22.30 Aberdeen have a weak penalty claim denied.

20.00 The German onslaught has scaled back. More of an even game in midfield at this point.

16.45 Langfield redeems himself with a big one on one save on Altintop. Rebound shot goes wide.

15:45 Aberdeen is getting the wrath of the Spanish referee. Another talking too but no card. Bayern shoot weakly, and are in control.

13:55 Thanks to LB for the lineup update. Ribery has had a thigh strain, I believe.

11:25 Maybury pulls down an attacking Kroos 25 yards out, gets a yellow. And goddamn, Lucio scores on the free kick, right over Langfield's head. Embarrassing. 1-0.

5:00 According to SKY, Bayern are all over Aberdeen early. Podolski has already hit the bar and Aberdeen are backed into their own end. This will be ugly. Like Scotland playing the return leg against Netherlands in WC 2006 qualis ugly.

Alright, I have picture.

Kickoff Aberdeen is banged up again heading into the match, missing 4 first teamers. Bayern is a little better off than last week, but they are still missing Ribery. Starting Podolski over Klose seems to be a strange decision, but who am I kidding, he's still better than anyone on Aberdeen.

Kickoff Crap. Looks like we're not on here. Hold on while I try other options.

15 minutes until kick. I'm watching an old match where Levante (I believe) are demolishing Galatasary 5-0. Does anyone know when this match was? It says live, but I am sure it is not.

Lineups:
Aberdeen (3-5-2): Langfield, Considine, Diamond, Maybury, Foster, Nicholson, Severin, Aluko, Mackie, Miller, Walker

Bayern Munich (5-3-2) Kahn, Sagnol, Lucio, Van Buyten, Jansen, Altintop, Ottl, Van Bommel, Kroos, Toni, Podolski

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There's Only One Bernd Dreher

Ah, nostalgia. This is John Hewitt scoring the winning goal in the 112th minute against Real Madrid, securing the 1983 edition of the Cup Winners' Cup for Aberdeen. In getting to the final, Aberdeen also defeated European giants Bayern Munich in the semifinals, stunningly winning 3-2 at home after an away nil draw. This win over Bayern is considered by many Dons fans to be the greatest night ever at Pittodrie, though that may all change later on tonight.

Truthfully, there is no reason for Aberdeen to look for a result tonight. They are on horrible form in the SPL, while Bayern continue to maintain their hold on the Bundesliga. Bayern have Luca Toni and Miroslav Klose up top, while Aberdeen counter with Lee Miller. Aberdeen have zero internationals while Bayern are chock-full. Still, hope remains.

It seems that Bayern may have to start 41-year old squad keeper Bernd Dreher, owing to Oliver Kahn being sent home ill, and backup Michael Rensing having injured himself lacing his boots. It's not David Seaman worthy, but that's a pretty lousy way to claim to injure yourself. At least butch it up next time and say you were tombstoning.

The goalkeepers aren't the only ones thin for Bayern right now. Flu has decimated some of the squad as well, while Franck Ribery and Mark van Bommel are out with injuries. Plus, let's not forget that many of the players are German, and they never did well trying to invade the UK in the past, now did they?

Okay, I'm officially clutching at straws now.

Work will preclude me from watching the second half of this match, and I, for one, am thankful. I'll be blissfully unaware of the final outcome until about midnight Eastern tonight. I'll take that extra 10 hours of hope before I'm deposited back into the current malaise of following my club on the back end of what will be a 1-4 loss. You can take that as a tip from the West Ham training ground.
image courtesy virginmedia.com

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