Well, American fans, we have nothing else to look forward to this summer, do we? I mean there's still MLS on, but there's not another meaningful US match until August, just before the European leagues kick off. What to do?
Well, we could always get on the Giuseppe Rossi hate train.
For just $24, you can have a stylish look when you enforce the UF fatwa against the New Jersey native by throwing a pie in his face on camera. Plus, since it's an American Apparel shirt, you can show your love for sexed-up weirdos who run companies that pay a living wage in the US.
Which brings us to today's late match between Egypt and Italy. Theoretically, the US could still qualify for the semifinals with an Egypt win today, a large US win over Egypt and a very large Brazil win over Italy. While no one thinks all of that is possible, the first step happens right now. Welcome to your afternoon liveblog.
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Pregame show? WHHAAAA? What about Mike and Mike?
Italy (4-3-3): Buffon, Grosso, Chiellini, Cannavaro (C), Gattuso, De Rossi, Iaquinta, Rossi, Zambrotta, Pirlo, Quagliarella. Subs: Everyone else
Egypt (5-3-2): El Hadary (C), A. Said, H. Said, Fathi, Abd Rabbou, Zidan, Shawky, Homos, Moawad, Gomaa, Aboutrika. Subs: Yep, they have a lot.
I'm not going to claim to be a master of the Pharaohs' roster, so bear with me.
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-15.00 So, everyone still smarting from this morning? I am.
-5.00 Egypt go defensive to start. Yes, Rossi starts up top for Italy. Can my in jest prediction of that bastard becoming the top goal scorer come true?
-2.00 Nothing controversial about the PK call on Monday. Don't let Tommy Smyth mislead you, Derek.
0.00 Here we go.
1.00 Buffon looking resplendent in all red.
/got nuthin' already
3.00 Pitch looks in horrible shape already. Why is that?
4.00 Oh, thanks Tommy. Rugby is the reason.
4.00 Pirlo takes a shot. No worries.
5.00 Pirlo floats a cross. No worries.
6.00 Rossi with a foul on Shawky in midfield. Smyth gives a bio on Rossi.
8.00 Some creative play in midfield for Egypt leads to a nice pass into the box. Cleared for a corner by Cannavaro. Nothing happens.
9.00 Offside Italy. Egypt immediately give away the free kick and are stretched thin before Italy lose the ball.
12.00 Rossi shoots over from 16. Dangerous chance off of a deflection.
14.00 Egypt work the right flank again. Pass into Zidan leaves him caught up in his own feet.
16.00 Egypt holding their own so far. No real dangerous chances for either side.
18.00 Promising break for Italy goes for nought when the cross is too short for Rossi.
19.00 Cannavaro shows how to man mark on a free kick. Hopefully, Spector was taking notes. Potentially dangerous kick snuffed out by professionalism.
20.00 Fucking vuvuzelas.
22.00 Rossi takes a foul 35 or so yards out. Unsurprisingly, these two sure do like to talk about him. Pirlo tries a shot without the correct direction or any real sting.
24.00 Iaquinta nails a shot from 22, but too close to the keeper. There was a rebound, but no one close from Italy to worry the keeper.
25.00 Rossi again tries from outside the box. Keeper has to turn over the crossbar. Corner Kick, taken, by Rossi, is easily headed out. Not sure if Rossi's original shot was going in, but the save was nice nonetheless.
28.00 Egypt's best attacks so far have been getting behind Grosso. Unfortunately for them, Italy seems to be compensating now and have started to control the match.
29.00 On cue, Egypt string together a couple of passes on the other side and look dangerous. Last ball nowhere close to being productive, though.
31.00 Not a lot to say about this match. Right now, both teams seem more intent on walking around for a bit than trying to attack.
33.00 Quagliarella gets in a good position, but his control off the chest fails him. Gets too close to the end line and lets the ball get tackled out for a corner. Kick taken short and an offside called on the cross in.
34.00 Zidan has pulled something. He'll looks like he will have to come off.
35.00 Grosso looks lost without an Australian leg to fall over. Egypt once again getting behind him with ease. Rest of the Italian defense takes care of biz, though.
37.00 Egypt is extremely well-organized and playing the Italians both ways. Wonder if the US can get their coach?
38.00 Zidan, back on, gets called for offside. Egypt getting their chances here.
40.00 Egypt shoot from 25, Buffon pushes over. Then GOAL. Resultant corner goes to an unmarked HOMOS!!! who heads in off the post. De Rossi the culprit of not marking. 1-0 Egypt
42.00 Must state that Buffon was rooted on the eight yard header. Not a good job by anyone in blue or red on that corner.
44.00 Gattuso leg wraps Shawky. No card. Come on, Ovrebo. We expect more out of you.
Tweet tweet TWEEEEEET Halftime. Italy has now been behind 1-0 in both of their games so far. Does that mean anything, other than you should take Brazil for the first half on Sunday?
What I have seen so far: Egypt like to work the wings, while remaining solid at the back. Italy, despite having three up top, seem to have no numerical advantage while attacking. Italy have also been fond of the long ball, while Egypt are working short and doing it better than the Azzuri. Italy would do well to sub in a MF for a forward (prob Quags) and employ a second wave effect to the attack from midfield. Egypt have to not sit back and try to defend a one goal lead. See you in 10 or so.
45.01 We're back. No subs noticed.
46.00 Italy look dangerous from the start. Good movement. Maybe they care this half?
48.00 Ha Ha. Gattuso lost his pants. Shorts, for you Brits.
48.00 Moawad languishing on the ground after getting stomped on the ankle by Gattuso.
51.00 More hoofing it long and down the middle for Italy. De Rossi then shoots well over from 30 yards. Great gameplan, guys.
53.00 I have the volume down, and that's the second time I've heard Smyth say "The snarling dog doesn't snarl much anymore" in reference to Gattuso. Get this man a coffin!
54.00 Iaquinta beats the offside trap but fails at the one on one. Great chance lost, even if Iaquinta used his arm to control.
56.00 Zidan off. Ahmed Eid on. OK.
57.00 Sixth Italian corner goes way long. Cannavaro went up for the header but it was three feet over his head. Italian subs: Rossi, Gattuso off; Montolivo, Toni on.
58.00 Yellow Card Eid, just on, rugby tackles Cannavaro.
60.00 Egypt have a 2 on 1 break, but the last pass was slow enough so that Italian defenders can catch up.
62.00 Egypt still showing well. Advancing forward but not giving up chances on the other end. Italy look bored/tired. Montolivo hacked down by Shawky, who got the ball. Pirlo to shoot from 30. Just wide. He had the keeper beat.
64.00 Italy's last sub: Pepe on for Quags. Egyptian down forever. Carted off.
67.00 Corner kick for Egypt. Derek Rae wants to #banvuvuzelas. Kick short, ball lost.
68.00 Pepe with a good ball. Toni and Iaquinta flap at it and miss. Egypt sub: Moawad off, Farag on.
70.00 Egypt may have held long enough to start getting some productive counters as Italy press. Iaquinta saved well from in close. Pepe the catalyst here for Italy.
71.00 Maybe I should watch Udinese more. This Pepe kid has some fire.
73.00 Pepe again on the right. Gets fouled twice, but no call.
74.00 This is the worst fast break weave I have ever seen.
What a Save! Montolivo with the open shot from 14 yards. Placed well, but the keeper was up to the task.
75.00 15 minutes left and we are all Homos now.
76.00 Abu Trika should have scored.
79.00 Another goal line save! Iaquinta this time. Ball just palmed enough to stop the momentum from going over the line. Great, great stuff from the Egyptian captain.
80.00 Hassan in for Egypt for Fathi. Last of the subs.
Italy will score here, I feel. It's coming soon.
81.00 El Hadary for MotM, right? Except for repeatedly outkicking the coverage on the punts, that is.
83.00 I don't think I've ever seen a guy coming on get the captain's armband without the previous captain going off. Odd.
Egypt waste a chance. Abu Trika wouldn't pull the trigger.
84.00 "Egypt 1, The United Sates nil." Thanks, Derek Rae.
Apparently we do start one down Matt. Sucks.
86.00 Another break on the right for Egypt. They got nuthin'.
87.00 Give that man the armband back! El Hadary thanks the crossbar as the keeper watched Iaquinta's shot go over his head.
89.00 Handball 20 yards out. Great chance for Italy. Gomaa(?) called for the arm. Pirlo to take. FIELD GOAL! Way over.
90.00 Five minutes added on. Ouch, but fair.
90.00 El Hadary playing with the ball a little. Homos looks on.
90.00 Three minutes left. Nervy.
90.00 Corner kick. Yellow Cards to el Hadary for arguing, and one to Gomaa as well. Hansen comes through.
90.00 Buffon came up for that. Ball cleared and put back in. Italy offside.
90.00 One minute left.
90.00 Toni dives.
90.00 Time up. Blow the whistle.
FULL TIME Holy shit, the US is still alive. Homos is your goal scorer, El Hadary is your MotM on the pitch, and Hassan Shehata is the best coach on earth.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
CornfedCup Liveblog: Italy-Egypt
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
The Good, The Bad, The WTF
By virtue of multiple requests, here it is, the Italian shirt as worn in the Confederations Cup. Be warned, I don't hate it as much as you may think I do despite the sublimated print.
First, a little background. The lighter blue is actually azure and is somewhat of a throwback look for the team. Unlike the US pulling out 3/4 sleeved shirts with restrictive cuffs, Italy opted for an updated style with old colors. The color scheme comes from the Italian teams of the 1930s, winners of the 1934 and '38 World Cups as well as Olympic champions in 1936. Not a bad decade to emulate. But maybe without all the Fascism.
For the shirt itself, I like the color. A lot. I'm not wild about the sublimation, but it's better than most. By utilizing the sublimation so heavily, it almost looks like diagonal pinstripes in the end. The flair of the shirt comes from the stripe on the left which is red, white and green--the colors of the Italian flag.
One thing that is missing from the internets is any trace of the brown shorts that Italy wore while dispatching the US on Monday. All of the pre-release hype centered on the kit having white shorts, so unfortunately, there is no dissection from me on those. From what I saw, I liked, as the brown was dark and chocolate enough as to mesh well with the shirt.
One thing I am just enamored with that Puma has done for this kit are the special shoes. As part of a package deal, Puma produced some of their King boots in chocolate with azure and white accents. The result is simply stunning.
I warning you now, though. As much as I like the way this kit goes together, if I see anyone of you with this on, I may flip out. Especially if you put Rossi's name on it. You would be well-served to watch your back at that point, as it's likely a pie in the face is coming your way.
Thanks to Football Fashion and Soccer Bible for the images.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
We Might Already Want to Rethink Our Picks
There was another round of World Cup Qualifiers today. England stayed undefeated having beaten Andorra (they get points for that?).
There was also a friendly in South Africa between Confederations Cup participants New Zealand and Italy.
And it was an absolute destruction holy shit was it a bit dicey for the Azzurri.
New Zealand led 1-0, 2-1, and 3-2 (well after the hour mark) before Vincenzo Iaquinta put in goals in the 68th and 73rd to give Italy the 4-3 lead it would hang on to.
But Marcello Lippi had to switch half of his youthful line-up out in favor of veterans in order to avoid being humiliated by the Kiwis. He made six second-half subs bringing on Andrea Pirlo, Luca Toni, Mauro Camoranesi, Iaquinta, and Gianluca Zambrotta. The sixth sub was Riccardo Montolivo who came on for a completely gassed Gennaro Gattuso (who is just off an injury and probably not match fit). So, save for Marco Amelia in goal, it was close to a first choice team for Italy by the time the final whistle blew.
This could mean A) Italy hasn't started to return to form after all, B) Everyone is underestimating the Kiwis, or C) Nothing.
It's possible Italy didn't even care until there were 30 minutes left. Maybe they were all out banging South African hookers until 6 in the morning. In any event, the Confederations Cup is probably slightly more interesting and slightly less predictable after this result. It does make for a good slogan though... The Confederations Cup: Where We're Not Sure What the Fuck Happens.
A couple of notes. New Zealand's last goal came on a 57th minute PK by Christophe Killen. When I found a stream (circa 75th minute), the Italian commentators were still cracking jokes about 'il arbitro' (the official). So it might have been a joke of a call that gave the Kiwis their last goal. Also, just eyeballing from the crowd shots, the announced attendance of 8,000 had to have been padded by a factor of at least two. There was almost nobody watching. Granted it's a pre-Cup friendly, but that's not a happy harbinger. Finally, given how wrapped up in anoraks the bench players were, I'm guessing it was pretty cold (it is winter there after all).
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Confederations Cup Profiles: Italy
Italy played some ugly football last year. It seems almost inconceivable now, but under Donadoni, the Azzurri were only a PK shootout away from eliminating eventual champions Spain in the quarters of last year's European Championship.
That same Italian team was somewhat fortunate to make it out of the group stages though. They were dead last in the group entering the last match. But they were gifted a reprieve in the form of a team coached by Raymond Domenech. That'll cure what ails ya. Even if only until the next match.
That was the match against Spain. Italy sucked the life out of it. Drew the ire of the entire world for it. And rightfully lost on the soccer equivalent of roulette to the eventual Euro winners.
Exit Donadoni. Reenter Lippi. And the Italians arrive in South Africa for the Confederations Cup as the reigning World Champions lest people forget, which, as we just noted, would be easy to do given their recent uneven although improving form.
The Italians open the tournament with the US. Easy three points, right?
Eh, probably. But for some inexplicable reason the Americans play Italy extremely well. There was the nasty tilt in the last World Cup where the US managed a 1-1 draw. It was the only point taken off the Italians the entire tournament and it was earned with the US playing a man down for the better part of a half.
An overmatched squad of American college kids also played hosts Italy to a narrow 1-0 loss in the 1990 World Cup (and they almost nicked a goal late for what would have been the shocker of the tournament); and I have a vague recollection there was a draw between the sides for a friendly at Giants Stadium some time in the Nineties.
Of course that means little for South Africa. The US is on anything but a roll having been pasted in Costa Rica and needing to come from behind to beat Honduras at home in World Cup qualifying. And an Italy side featuring some younger and less experienced players dismantled Northern Ireland in a friendly over the weekend.
Giuseppe Rossi created then ran through space at will and Davide Santon was stellar in the back. It was a clinic. If it was intentional by Lippi, it was pretty brilliant. While Azzurri veterans rested, they were served with a message: "Play well or there are a bunch of young and talented people under you who will." So Lippi has the luxury of some youth to go with a now-motivated squad that's loaded with experience from the last World Cup (Grosso, Pirlo, Toni, Buffon, Camoranesi, Zambrotta, and a healthy Gattuso).
Italy face Egypt before finishing up with Brazil. So, yeah, this group seems loaded, but Egypt dropped its last World Cup qualifier to Algeria and looked bad doing it. They sit at the bottom of Group C (behind even Rwanda) with a single point. Now Egypt doesn't look as threatening as they did just a year ago. Figure the the Italians are sitting on six points when they face Brazil. Figure Brazil probably is as well.
Also figure that Marcello Lippi mightn't care if they lose that match as he's no idiot when it comes to history: "We're going to try to treat it with respect, but the team that wins the Confederations Cup never wins the World Cup. So I'm not sure I want to win it."
Lippi is going to do plenty of tinkering with the line-ups. But given the recent over-reliance of the Azzurri's offense of lobbing it in to Toni and hoping his tallnesss pays off, and the relative ease with which Rossi shredded Northern Ireland it wouldn't be much of a surprise to see plenty of the kid. After that, it's anyone's guess what Lippi does to get results while getting a grasp on what his team does against World Cup competition (by which we mean "Brazil").
Prediction: Italy advances from the group along with Brazil. But it wouldn't be the least bit surprising to see Lippi field the least experience team possible for the semi-final. He's only half joking when he says he doesn't want to win because he gets two more games no matter what if he makes it out of the group. Of course the other group is so weak that as long as Italy don't draw Spain, they are likely to be favorites against any of New Zealand, Iraq, or hosts South Africa to advance to the final anyway.
Squad: Gianluigi Buffon, Davide Santon, Fabio Grosso, Giorgio Chiellini, Fabio Cannavaro, Nicola Legrottaglie, Simone Pepe, Gennaro Gattuso, Luca Toni, Daniele De Rossi, Alberto Gilardino, Morgan Di Sanctis, Alessandro Gamberini, Marco Amelia, Vincenzo Iaquinta, Mauro Camoranesi, Guiseppe Rossi, Angelo Palombo, Gianluca Zambrotta, Riccardo Montolivo, Andrea Pirlo, Andrea Dossena, Fabio Quagliarella
Monday, June 1, 2009
You Want A Pisa Me?
After a 1-0 loss to Brescia over the weekend, Pisa were relegated to the Italian third division. Serie C? No, it's something called the Lego Lega Pro Prima Divisione.
This being Italy, of course Pisa supporters took the loss and subsequent demotion with the usual blasé attitude. From a poorly Google-translated piece in Il Messaggero:
Sale also the budget of the wounded are 35 police officers forced the medical care after the launch of dense rocks, road signs and objects from the Nerazzurri ultrà. The police officers and carabinieri were struck while trying to prevent the entry to the dressing room after fans angry pisan for relegation.The Italian papers stay pretty narrow in scope of their reporting, but about 200 Pisa supporters had tried to smash down the doors to the locker room after the loss. Apparently they were under the mistaken notion that if they beat the players senseless they would no longer be relegated.
Italy, where genius happens.
Thirty five police officers were wounded in the melee. And there was a total of nine rioters arrested, three from yesterday and an additional six were picked up today with the assistance of stadium security camera footage.
This has carried over to the national team in that the local Ultras have issued a comminque saying they are so sad they do not want to Azzurri to come to Pisa to play their scheduled friendly against Northern Ireland this Saturday.
Shouldn't this work the other way? If you're a Nerazzurri Ultra you've already established that favoured teams that don't win risk grievous bodily harm, can't think of a time to ever see a more motivated national squad come to town.
Italy, where geniu... Oh, we already said that. Read more on "You Want A Pisa Me?"...
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Behold The Power of Democracy!
Voting rules. Ahh... see what I did there?
Anyway, this was mentioned in Backpasses (see post below) but The Offside is asking for your input. They want to know which is the most exciting league in Europe.
We're mostly EPL over here, with a smattering of France and the Scots but we're actively trying to consume more Italy and Spain (Mmmmm... Spain).
And frankly we all should. Why? Because Spain has been awesome this season. Easily the two most exciting matches I've seen this season were the 3-3 Valencia v. Villarreal tilt, and this past weekend's 4-3 win by Atlético over a suddenly shaken Barcelona side.
On top of that, having less emotional attachment seems to make watching, uhm... what's the word? Enjoyable. That's it. Watching Spanish football is kind of fun. They score even (fucking Arsenal).
We're not big believers in the "scoring = excitement" premise, but the EPL does lag behind Spain by about a half goal per match.
More interesting, the EPL is barely ahead of Italy, which gets abused for its supposed boring and defensive football. That link above takes some going through, but if you scroll down you'll see the current scoring hierarchy goes: Germany > Spain > England > Italy > France.
Our cursory theory on the low EPL output is threefold: A) The relegation battle is so tight with so many teams, they they are playing to not concede anything to anyone. A 0-0 draw is a fantastic result for a bottom-table team. B) Arsenal alone is responsible for this low average scoring. C) There is no need to explain, this season's average is pretty much in line with the scoring averages for the last 3-4 EPL seasons.
Anyway, go vote (*cough* Spain *cough*), it's your duty as a Netizen. And if you don't, the terrorists win.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Why Yes, It Is A Slow Day
In the absence of a WAG scandal or some sort of witch doctor cursing African clubs, we're at a bit of a loss until the USA v. Mexico match (which we will be liveblogging).
But it's the interlull—as coined by either the Spoiler or the Arseblogger. International friendlies, FA Cup ties, and no Prem for almost a couple of weeks still (save for the United game in hand v. Fulham). Anyway, Italy and Brazil did square off yesterday at the Emirates with the South Americans winning 2-0.
Italy did have two goals disallowed, so it wasn't as bad as the score sheet looks. In fact Luca Toni missed a couple of near sitters by himself aside from the one called back because he more of less caught the ball in his arms to settle it. Fabio Grosso's disallowed goal in the 3rd or 4th was a borderline offside.
The above is probably the highlight of the match. Robinho schools half the Italian defense with a double-stepover cutback before beating Buffon. It was pretty sweet. Although Pirlo should probably get his ass kicked by Lippi for being so nonchalant in taking the ball out of the Eye-tals end.
Two other quick observations from the match:
A) Arsenal should try to enlist as many Brazilian fans as possible. The Emirates was rocking in a way it hasn't all season. Of course there was also scoring in this match not to mention competent Brazilians on the pitch.
B) Joga Bonita might be coming back. The Brazilians played loose and flowing football, with cheeky passes that really left the Italians looking stupid at times. They were nothing at all like the team that sucked in Germany in 06. The other goal, a one touch feed give-and-go with Robinho, Ronaldinho, and Elano was also rather pleasant to look at.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
The Pot Calls the Kettle "Berlusconi"
The White House press briefing book for the G-8 summit in Japan has offered a too-honest-for-comfort biography of Italian PM Silvio Berlusconi. The AC Milan owner/ Media Mogul/ Politician/ Convicted Perjurer is named as "one of the most controversial leaders in the history of a country known for government corruption and vice."
As you might imagine, the prickly Italian press has taken exception to this passage, among others. The Bush people apologized promptly and have since gone about spearheading a wonderfully impotent new climate change bill.
In all, it's been a good few weeks for the Prime Minister, first the Italian senate passed the "Berlusconi Bill" and now the shopboys (cheers bigus!) at Chelsea have reportedly offered 75 large for Kaka. If accepted, the sum should be enough to cover Berlusconi's legal fees for the last fortnight in May.
For more on why some White House intern has collected his or her last travel stipend, please follow along...
Berlusconi was the target of some heavier stuff. He's characterized as "a political dilettante who gained his high office only through the use of his considerable influence on the national media." It gets better as the note goes on: Quoteth White House spokesman Tony Fratto:
The briefing book distributed to reporters at these events is usually fat, drab and full of maps and excerpts from the attendants' pertinent speeches. The biographies are akin to what you might find in your favorite club's yearbook. Something like... "When Arsene isn't scouting out France's finest U-11 talent, he's playing tummysticks with the lads at the academy." Fluffiness."He is a businessman who was considered an amateur in politics but used his influence on the media to gain his premiership, which he lost in 2006."
and"He is despised by many but respected by some for his bella figura [beautiful image]."
I take umbrage only at the former claim. Certainly Berlusconi did not use the media alone to achieve his place. Bribes, blackmail, and threats of physical violence to be imparted by the thugs in his employ certainly played a role. Not to mention his success in resurrecting that little footie club in Milan. He named his political party "Forza Italia" for shite's sake."We apologize to Italy and to the Prime Minister for this very unfortunate mistake … The sentiments expressed in the biography do not represent the views of President Bush, the American government, or the American people... Italy is a close friend and ally of the United States, and as anyone who has covered President Bush knows, he holds Prime Minister Berlusconi and the Italian people in the highest regard."
Added President Bush, in a direct message to his Italian counterpart: "I like your style, Dude."
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Donadoni Out!
Italian manager Roberto Donanoni has been fired. Hot on the heels of (what one UFer says is) the best run of any non-winning teams in the European championship, Donadoni has been unceremoniously sacked.
I will not be sad for him. Oh no. I, for one, will prefer to remember him in happier, more hirsute, times.
Goodnight, sweet prince. We'll see you on the sidelines at Catania soon.
Euro Eulogy: Italy... Arrivederci
Look at you, dancing on their little graves.
Ding. Dong. Blah. Blah.
Hell, Andy Gray was openly rooting against the Italians in the dying moments of Sunday's quarterfinal match and going so far as to wish Cesc good luck before his spot kick.
He made it. You happy now?
I'm sure you're all as thrilled as the boys in the Castro that Torres and Villa and Xavi are all still alive. Did you think they'd crumble? Did you think they'd lay down and die? Oh no, they will survive.
Well, fuck all of y'all and the collective horses you rode in on.
Sure Italy played "negative" football (Whatever that is, I mean, were they unscoring goals? Was it negative nil - negative nil at half, or at full time? And if Spain was playing positive football wouldn't the pitch have imploded upon itself?) but put yourself in Donadoni's shoes.
And, first, realize how lucky you are to be in such a nice pair of Forzieris. Yeah, chicks might even talk to a dickhead like you in those.
Okay, now look up from your sweet shoes and at your roster. Your best defender, the guy who two years ago shut down the entire world? He's out with an injury he suffered in training before the tournament even started.
Now, from cards, you've got no Andrea Pirlo, the best midfielder in the squad and your only creative linkage to your forwards, and gone with him is Gennaro Gattuso. He's a little over rated as a player, but he's a fucking bulldog and he looks like he is going to will the team to victory alone by singing the fucking anthem.
Fratelli d'Italia,
l'Italia s'è desta.
Fuck yeah, she has. Makes me wish the other half of me was Italian. Now let's play some fucking futbol.
I know they don't give points for singing your anthem, but if they did, the Eye-tals would have about thirteen of those stars over the scudetto on the Azzurri shirts. Shit, they'd be out of space. They'd have stars running all the way to their armpits.
And it's not just the players. Even the hot Italian ass in the crowd sings like they're gonna have to blow the corpse of Il Duce if they don't belt one out with every fiber in their incorporeal soul.
Anyway, you're still Donadoni. Now after looking at what you don't have, you look at what you do have.
Your best scoring threat looks like he skipped out on special ed class to be on the pitch. He also plays in Germany. Here's the list of top two scorers in the Budesliga this year:
1) Luca Toni
2) Mario Gomez
They combined to score zero goals against actual soccer players in the Euro. Here's how crappy the Bundesliga is: you know who finished third in scoring?
3) Wizard Cat (all the way left... the bunny was the goalie for Schalke 04).
But, you do have probably the best keeper on the planet. So Donadoni did what any fucking sane person would—play to his strengths.
Shit even an Italian can figure that one out, probably didn't even need to watch the tape of the Russia v Spain match from the group stages either to do it: "Well, No Cannavaro, no Gattuso, no Pirlo, no fucking prayer of winning an up-and-down affair. I can get run off the pitch 6-1 and never coach again, or I can try to suffocate the Spanish attack maybe generate a chance or two to score and escape 1-0 or, if not, take a chance with PKs."
And it worked for ("I'm Dave Kendall and you're watching... ") 120 minutes. He took it to the coinflip, and eh, he lost.
So, sorry if you fucking precious sense of the aesthetic was offended by what happened on Sunday, but there was a soccer match to be won. And you'll have to excuse the coach for using, you know, tactics and shit to try to win it.
Hell, Turkey does the same thing—sucks the life out of a game—and you all jump on their bandwagon like they are giving away hookers and Furbees.
So go on with your selfish little celebrations, but maybe just take a moment to consider the following. First, you should be thanking the Virgin Mary in your taco shell that Italy eliminated France. The French had actual dynamic players with talent and couldn't do shit. They was fucking painful to watch
Second, we might not be champions of Europe, but we still get to hang on to our moniker of World Champions for a couple of more years. Call me when Spain, or Turkey, or Russia, or anyone not named Brazil has one or four of those to call their own. Yeah, that's the sound of my phone not ringing.
Dead my ass.
Only for this tourney.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Open Thread: Italy v. Spain & USA v. Barbados (2nd half Italy-Spain Liveblog)
Well, it doesn't look like any of us are available for duty to day, so please use this thread to amuse yourselves.
Suggested things to discuss:
Why a certain player will go to your favorite club and be awesome.
Why a certain player will go to your rival and suck balls.
How a crazed lunatic can pull a wife like to the right. (NSFW pic link)
Does Donadoni really look like Wayne Coyne or is it just me?
Lineups after the jump. Have fun and stay awake.
Italy-Spain 14.45 EDT (ESPN)
Italy: Buffon, Zambrotta, Panucci, Chiellini, Grosso, Aquilani, De Rossi, Massimo Ambrosini, Perrotta, Cassano, Toni.
Spain: Casillas, Ramos, Puyol, Marchena, Capdevila, Senna, Iniesta, Xavi, Silva, Villa, Torres.
USA-Barbados 15.00 EDT (ESPN Classic)
USA: Guzan; Moor, Califf, DeMerit, Pearce; Kljestan, Szetela, Bradley, Lewis; Adu, Beasley.
Subs: Seitz; Bocanegra, Onyewu; Thorrington; Shea, Barrett, Rolfe.
Barbados: Rouse; Neblett, Straker, Boyce, Skeete; Nurse, Parris, Miller; Ifill, McCammon, Williams.
46:00 Hello gents and ladies...I just got done signing my contract with Arsene Wenger and achieving fame and fortune like Nike promised.
Hopefully we will get a bit of excitement in this 2nd half.
48:00 Iniesta blew a wonderful chance when Torres picked him out in the box and David Villa dummied the ball. Iniesta was in on goal too. Woeful touch.
49:00 David Villa had a wonderful turn inside the 6 yard box after collecting a ricochet but dawdled on the ball allowing Chiellini to recover and block his shot.
50:00 Toni offside just barely on a Grosso cross. Just a shade off.
51:00 Spain dispossessed at half but Cassano plays a terrible ball on the break.
53:00 Spain on the break hits Villa on the right who tries to cross (shoot?) the ball but it was deliciously awful hit towards the stewards.
55:00 Torres had a chance after saving the ball on the touchline but the italian defender blocked the cross towards Villa in the box.
57:00 I'm not sure, but if Andy Gray ran into the ref on the streets, I think he would spit on him. Every call of his is bad and Gray is right.
58:00 Perotta off for Camoranesi.
Corner to Spain, Xavi over it...
59:00 Buffon knocks it out to Silva who shanks an open shot from 23.
Cazorla on for Iniesta. Fabregas on for Xavi.
Interesting change that really shakes up the middle of the pitch for Spain.
61:00 What a save from Casillas! There was a scramble in the box as the tree Toni managed to get a foot to the ball as Casillas came out, the ball dropped in the box with a brief scramble that allowed Casillas to get back in position as Camorenasi turns on the ball and Casillas pokes it away with his left foot.
64:00 After that disco in the box, the teams have taken a disco nap.
67:00 Disco nap over as Italy starts to push forward again with Toni drawing a free kick wasted by Camoranesi.
69:00 Panucci jawing at Fabregas for some reason. David Villa lines up over a free kick from 30...deflected off the wall for a corner.
70:00 Fabregas with the corner that results in nada.
Zambrotta feeds a nice ball to Toni, who is too tall for the Spanish defenders, who heads it but can't get it on frame.
72:00 Villa booked for a dive...but it looks like he lost his footing after standing on the ball for way too long. What a waste...
Replays show Torres shoving an Italian defender and the patting him on the face. Lucky he wasn't booked.
74:00 Cassano off, di Natale on...he didn't do a lot tonight.
75:00 The ref is really a nag...blowing his whistle for every little thing.
77:00 This half has been even more boring than the first half.
78:00 Torres with a lovely touch and had Panucci beaten but nobody was in the middle of the box and he wins a corner that Buffon punched out.
79:00 Senna rockets a free kick at Buffon who swats it away like a mosquito.
81:00 What a shot by Senna from 22, Buffon spilled and it only didn't go in the goal because of the post.
83:00 Ramos made his first good defensive play of the tournament knocking Toni off of a header.
Toni took the ball away from Grosso who was hard charging. Toni was trying to get a foot on it through some sort of bicycle kick.
85:00 Torres off for Guiza. Boo!
Unfortunately for Torres, the Spanish squad doesn't have the right talent to exploit his skills. Nobody will free him with a good ball and nobody supports him on his runs.
86:00 Guiza with a bonehead move. In the middle of the box with room he handles it. What a dunce. That was a goal.
90:00 So, immediately after Torres goes off the pitch, the Spaniards start feeding balls that are perfect for him to run on. You would think maybe his teammates don't like him.
90:00 +1 This ref has been snookered by the Italians. Every time they are down he makes the play stop even if there wasn't a foul. Toni just did it on a Puyol tackle.
90:00 +2 David Villa with a terrible touch on a great Fabregas ball. Villa had the ball in the box and turned it back into the defense instead of away to a left footed shot that would have been on goal.
That was really poor. Should have taken him off instead of Torres.
End of Regular Time.
No subs left for Spain and only one for Italy. Spain really needs to change their tactics because Italy is just packing the box.
91:00 Silva draws a foul from 24. Silva takes it...
92:00 Chiellini and Ramos tangle in the box, Sergio calling for a penalty and then Chiellini gets in his face.
93:00 Nice counter from Spain. Villa crosses it to Guiza who heads it to the middle to Fabregas whose shot is blocked but the rebound came to Silva who unleashed a shot just inches wide.
94:00 Whistle on Fabregas who kicks Chiellini in the bottom of the foot. That smarts.
95:00 Grosso tries to feed Toni in the box, but just deflected before Toni arrives...di Natale gets an excellent header that Casillas tips over.
96:00 De Rossi's corner is headed near post but over by Toni.
99:00 That was an amazing attempt by Villa. He had fallen down in the box but the ball was in his wickets and he somehow gets a foot on it to get it to the oncoming Fabregas, but he gets squeezed out.
103:00 That was some Spanish class as a Spanish fan grabs his crotch during a chant. Lovely. I'm sure Disney is very happy.
104:00 Guiza and Spain are desparate. Guiza has no creativity and just tries to lash one in when Buffon had the angles instead of trying to cross one to the middle.
End of First Extra Period.
We really need a moment of brilliance.
106:00 Back on.
107:00 Ramos whistled for kicking Camoranesi in the shoulder. Dangerous position at the corner of the 18. De Rossi tries to loop one in but nobody moved.
108:00 Del Piero on for Aquilani.
110:00 Silva releases David Villa but just a hair too far and Buffon is out smothering it. Corner. Nothing doing.
112:00 Cazorla booked for dissent when he should have had a corner.
This ref is awful. Stopping play again.
116:00 This game sucks hard, like Jenna Jameson.
117:00 Really, I can't tell you how much I am hating this match right now.
118:00 David Silva doubles Del Piero because he knows Ramos will get his jock handed to him.
119:00 Guiza has another wonderful off-target shot. if you want to strike from sea, at least hit the beach.
120:00 Cazorla takes a shot across the face of the goal but misses picking out David Villa who was running on free. Spain's wingers are awful.
End of Extra Time
On to PKs. Two of the top GKs in the world Casillas and Buffon. This could be interesting. Has Buffon already used up his PK luck with his Mutu save? Can Spain and Casillas finally prevail on PKs?
Mike Georger in the comments directs us to the Wikipedia page of Herbert Fandel, the ref. He is apparently a stunt-butt.
David Villa scores the first. 1-0 Spain.
Grosso hits a lovely one to the side net. 1-1.
Cazorla steps up for Spain and slots it lower right. Spain 2 - 1 Italy
De Rossi up and is stopped by Casillas. Lovely save by Casillas. Spain 2 - Italy 1
Senna up for Spain, and chips it into the top of the net...Lovely. Spain 3 - Italy 1.
Camoranesi slots it home top right. Spain 3 - Italy 2.
Guiza up for Spain...Buffon saves. Poor kick. Spain 3 - Italy 2.
Di Natale steps up for Italy and Casillas saves. Another great save. Spain 3 - Italy 2.
Fabregas up for Spain to send them on to the semis. Spain 4 - Italy 2.
Thank the lord. I don't want to watch another Italy game. Casillas was brilliant.
Spain will face Russia in the semis which should be a great matchup. Spain beat Russia 4-1 in the first match of the group stage, but Russia seems much improved. Spain also beats the June 22 hex and advances on PKs. Now if only Aragones can figure out how to use Torres properly with all the rest of his talent.
Thanks for stopping by, we appreciate your visits and contributions. The first semi
Friday, June 20, 2008
Italy Waves The White Flag Surrendering To England
The Italians are proud people, perhaps too proud at times, and it is not without great anguish that they surrender. As in WWII, though, the Boot has waved the white flag to England calling off the dogs, only this time it's in the name of soccer/football/calcio. One time super-club AC Milan has finally admitted it is inferior to the great English club Manchester......City?
Is that right? It can't be. It must be Manchester United, but it is not. AC Milan has admitted it can no longer compete for Ronaldinho's services with the Thai led juggernaut Manchester City. Said AC Milan's vice president, Adriano Galliani: 'I cannot ignore that Italian football is now in fourth position in Europe behind England, Spain and Germany,' he said in Gazzetta dello Sport.
This can only mean the end is nigh. Italy accepting it's inferiority. Of course, if some Russian oil tycoons or deposed billionaire country leaders purchases a team or two in Italy this could surely change. Wait, doesn't the leader of Italy also own AC Milan? And, aren't Italian politics well known for corruption? Well, giddyup Berlusconi you have an entire tax base to work with.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
The Good, The Bad, The WTF: Euro 2008 Edition
This post, my friends is going to be a mess. As long as you know that going in, we'll all be okay. Inside, we will break down each competing country's home and away jersey and file it into the categories Good, Bad and WTF. Pretty simple, huh?
For ease of my poorly HTMLing soul, I will only provide links to each shirt instead of trying to force them all into the Blogger template. Trust me, if you've seen how Blogger can mangle posts by screwing up pictures, this is a good thing.
Onwards and upwards, my friends. Here we go.
Group A
Switzerland Home Away Switzerland wear Puma jerseys. In what will quickly become a theme in this post, Puma jerseys all look cookie-cutter. They have a template, switch colors where necessary, and affix the necessary badges. Boring. What I like about the Swiss shirt is the badge. That kind of artsy rendering of their national association where they also fit in the white cross. However, these are Puma jerseys, so the verdict is:
Home and Away: Bad
Czech Republic Home Away Plain. Boring. Go home. I do like the blue piping on the home shirt, and the Czech badge is one of the more interesting entries, full of history, for those into that. But it is simply not enough to overcome the crappiness of being a Puma shirt.
Home and Away: Bad
Portugal Home Away There is something wrong with the Portugal home shirt. We here at UF could not quite put our finger on it, but we hate it. It could be the wrong hue, or it could just be the too tight fit. We hated it all the same. On the other hand, we were much more sympathetic to the white shirt. It looks a lot better, but, in the end, we found it a little plain.
Home and Away: Bad
Turkey Home Away Now we're talking. It may still be a hangover from their unbelievable victory over the Czechs on Sunday, but these are both very nice shirts. The home shirt can look a little like a 'Boro effort, I'm sure, but it dazzles nonetheless. And that away shirt, my goodness. Two teams made solid use of baby blue accents this tournament, and Turkey is one of them.
Home and Away: Good
Group B
Austria Home Away A mixed bag. Once again, we are stuck with Puma templates, but Austria does something a little right here. It's not in the home shirt, really, though it should rate a "meh" instead of its final grade. The winner here is the away shirt. Menacingly black with a little flag flair thrown in at the collar.
Home: Bad; Away: Good
Croatia Home Away Did we even get to see the all-checkerboard shirt yet? I don't recall. You have to give them respect for sticking with such and irritating-to-the-eyes shirt for all of these years. As for the blue away shirt, man, I don't know. And for that, it perfectly fits the WTF category. Safe to say I would not want to sport either one of these walking around my town.
Home and Away: WTF?
Germany Home Away Poor Germany. Forever saddled with a white shirt that they are not entirely happy with, so they fuck around with it. This year's entry feels unbalanced. Too much black in the striping, not enough red or yellow. At least it keeps us away from the away shirt. Seriously, this is not a look for top tier international football. This is a training top. Even though I kind of like the gold stitching on the black background, I hope they never have to wear it.
Home: Bad; Away: WTF?
Poland Home Away Poland, the home of unattractive football. They never looked good playing in the Euros, and these shirts did not help. Blandest of them all.
Home and Away: Bad
Group C
Romania Home Away Romania's shirts this year felt like a throwback to USA '94. Sadly, the team did not perform in the same manner. The worst part of it all is that they totally rip off the New York Cosmos badge. Anyway, 14 years is too soon to do a throwback jersey. Well, I write that, but I can't hate on the home jersey. I like it.
Home: Good; Away: Bad
France Home Away I am not a fan of the extra crap going across the middle of the French home shirt. They do, however, get credit with me by having their flag pop up inside the adidas stripes on the arms. Throw in that nice, newish badge of the rooster and you have a winner. God help me, I like the garish red away shirt as well. Two winners.
Home and Away: Good
Netherlands Home Away The Dutch are always hard to figure out. They have to use that bright orange which pays homage to a royal family line that no one likes. Sometimes they pull it off, and sometimes it is painful. This tournament, they pulled it off, sometimes. The Dutch were the second team to tastefully use Nike's new baby blue accent by pairing the orange shirt with baby blue socks. And it totally worked. However, when they reverted to orange socks yesterday, it all looked horrible. Also, nice try, but you can't work in your flag on the collar without it looking like you won First Grade attendance medals. As for the away shirt, it divides us. But, I'm the one writing here, and I hate it. So, there you go. We do seem to be unified in liking the cyborg numbering though.
Home: Good, with qualifications; Away: WTF?
Italy Home Away Italy stick with the basics. Once again, this is a Puma top, but it's not quite as bad as the red and white ones. This gets a passing grade for the gold at the neck. The away jersey, though, is run of the mill and boring.
Home: Good; Away: Bad
Group D
Spain Home Away I think we were a bit undecided by these. The home jersey is nothing out of the ordinary, but it works well. That light gold away shirt, though, is rather atrocious. Hopefully, Spain will not be required to trot it out on their way to winning this year's tournament.
Home: Good; Away: WTF?
Russia Home Away These had potential, especially the away shirt, but the execution is off. I am all for integrating you nation's flag into the shirt. I don't like it when doing so means that I have to fill in the blanks for you. The white shirt loses the top stripe of the flag and the red shirt loses the bottom stripe of the flag. Why not go with a blue away shirt so that one can easily make out the flag running across the torso? Nike FAIL.
Home: Bad; Away: WTF?
Greece Home Away Thanks for coming and bringing the same kit from 2004. Did you think that would work? Okay, the sublimated flag print on the away shirt is nice, but no dice.
Home and Away: Bad
Sweden Home Away It's always tough to deal with the Swedish shirts. The combo of yellow and blue is a nice one, but they just use too much yellow sometimes. If only I could get a reason to really like a bunch of yellow Swedish shirts. Oh, here's one. The away shirt is a tough one. In some pictures, it looks black, which would be a bold move, but in others it looks navy, which is kind of boring. Still, since Swedish girls will wear them and get pictured in them, they are both winners.
Home and Away: Good
Euro Trash Day 11: The Replacements
The Dutch rested 9. The French made 3 changes. The Romanians stood firm. The Italians mixed and matched a little.
Today was a day for drama and substitutes, for hasty tactical rearrangements and a formation shattered by a first-half red card. Regardless, every team earned their cash, and we enjoyed the treats.
Somewhere tonight, an astrological chart burns.
If I were Raymond Domenech, I simply wouldn't go home. I wouldn't run the risk of being mutilated and torn limb-from-limb by the croissant-chompers lying in wait at Charles de Gaulle airport. I would simply pull a Jason Bourne; burn my current ID, pull out a fake passport, cut my hair and add a fake moustache, and disappear into the night. No note of apology, no note of sorrow and regret... just get the fuck out and start again. Barbados is looking for a coach, but even he might be a touch too New Agey for a country rooted in various spiritual traditions. That being said, let's put Gallic castigation aside for a minute and look at these scrappy Italian feckers. Did they wet themselves when examining the task at hand? No. Did they complain at every refereeing decision? No, especially not the contentious red card for Thuram's understudy, Eric Abidal. It was a blatant, clumsy foul. No doubt whatsoever there. But a straight red? Is someone taking the term "professional foul" a little too seriously? Coupet was right there, although Eric was the last man. Did they work hard in the second half to make sure the victory was theirs? Yes. Did they make the most of what was good fortune and enterprise was thrown their way? Yes, with the exception of yet another dismal performance from lone frontman Luca Toni. (As the BBC liveblog noted, Toni and Mario Gomez combined for 43 goals this season in the Bundesliga. What the fuck is going on? Are they that bad, or is it the Bundesliga?) For Italy, this was a fine way to bounce back from two terrible performances earlier in the group. They now stumble into the quarter-finals to face Spain, with the grim reality of continuing to toil without Cannavaro, and now losing Pirlo and Gattuso to 1-game suspensions after their yellows this evening. For France, a long trip home and plenty of time to reflect. Why didn't Thuram play? Why did Ribery have to overextend on that meaningless, innocuous foul early in the game? Why did Domenech flirt with using Nasri, only to pull him after the red card instead of the listless Toulalan (who's been absolute crap in Euro '08)? Why did Henry toil alone up front? Why is Coupet not in line for the French presidency? All these questions can be answered rather simply: Domenech is a useless son of a bitch. I eagerly await his termination and subsequent replacement, who is facing a Herculean task to turn around this old, tired squad that's horribly imbalanced towards the aged and tenured. I just hope for Estelle Denis' sake that Raymond makes a better husband than manager (Else, I'll happily offer my services as a replacement). Poor Romania. Even with 9 changes to the Dutch XI that fisted France and Italy, they still couldn't get it done. Of course, in lieu of finding actual constructive criticism, the Bucharest press will surely just call for Mutu's head after his penalty miss against Gianluigi Buffon. But in reality, Romania simply wasn't good enough today. Despite the waves of possession and half-chances, you always had the feeling that the clog-hoppers were going to walk away unscathed, and two moments of class were enough. Huntelaar's finish was decisive from Afellay's cross, and Van Persie surprised our UF liveblog peanut gallery in playing the entire match and even bagging the late goal with an emphatic close-range effort. Shame for the Romanians, but they're history now. Beyond that, a mouth-watering semi with either Spain or Italy, and then who knows? Of all the teams to make it this far, none other has shown the consistency of character or victory, but they all have their strong points. I wrote at length of the Dutch ability to waste talent in my team preview, and perhaps it's all downhill from here. At least they've shown us some entertainment in the group stages. (ps. I'm still picking Spain to shake their pretender shackles and emerge victorious, even though Total Football appears to have, gulp, returned)
France 0
Italy 2 (Pirlo 25" pen, De Rossi 62")
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Netherlands 2 (Huntelaar 54", Van Persie 87")
Romania 0
Regarding Holland, do we join the bandwagon and anoint them as the tournament favourites heading into the quarter-finals? On performances alone, they've been the most impressive by far. They've enjoyed clear victories over a darkhorse and two pre-tourney frontrunners, and now they're looking at a dinner date with either Russia or Sweden, two equally-dull and dismal sides to watch.
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Links Roundup
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Meet Aragones, your new Fenerbahce manager [Soccernet]
Madagascar fire their manager, who was UNDEFEATED in qualifying! [Yahoo! Sports]
Soccer means less people go to the opera? I'm stunned! [AP]
Jens Lehmann with some advice on how to stop Portugal. I'm worried, considering he couldn't stop Birmingham [International Herald Tribune]
Germany's bright young star might jump to the Jewish club of North London. Good/bad idea? [The Daily Telegraph]
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Top 10 US Players who deserve to see the pitch (seriously, get rid of Donovan) [THE YANKEE HOOLIGAN]
An inside look at Chelsea's propaganda machine [Pitch Invasion]
Remember this? Well, they've been found guilty! Elder brother Shaun must be so proud! [BBC News]
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Euro 2008 Liveblog: Italy v France
Yes, it is deja vu all over again.
It's either the '00 Euro Final or the '06 World Cup Final. Take your pick.
Anyway, with only three matches in the group phase it does, as they say, get late early. And thanks in part to a plucky Romanian side (and some dodgy refereeing) France and Italy face off in a winner take all match for survival in Group C.
Unless of course those same Romanians have something to say about it. A Romanian defeat of the Dutch in the other match would all but render Italy v. France an exercise in futility. And seeing how the Dutch have nothing to play for, don't expect to see EPSN's favorite player Ruud Van Persie on the pitch. Nor is Giovanni van Sneijder, Arjen Kuyt, or any of their other stalwarts likely to see time on the field.
So, oops. Fuck. Much like 04 when Italy posted a couple of listeless draws in their first two matches then watch the Scandinavians engineer a result to send them packing, Italy has only themselves to blame for putting themselves in this position.
France, on the other hand, can place all the blame on Domenech. He's an idiot.
Anyway, seeing how Europe doesn't understand that the United States doesn't shut down for these matches, we might have some liveblogging technical difficulties (specifically, if the live bloggamy starts, beware it might cut out at any moment). Still the thread is here to follow along.
And to get your commenting inspiration jumpstarted, it's another Euro haiku:
I'd take Gigi's life
Heroic penalty save
His wife is smokin'
[Tip o' the hat to NY Kid for the line-ups]
The starting XI for Everybody Negates Raymond:
GK - Coupet
DEF - Abidal; Gallas; Clerc; Evra
MID - Makelele; Toulalan; Ribery; Govou
ST - Titi (C); Benzema
The starting XI for Roberto Donadoni (those are my two favorite Mutant Ninja Turtles btw):
GK - Buffon (C)
DEF - Zambrotta; Panucci; Chiellini; Grosso
MID - Pirlo; De Rossi; Gattuso; Perrotta
ST - Toni; Madman Cassano
This match is being played at Letzigrund, in Zurich.
Centre official: Ľuboš Michĕl (SVK)
Assistant referees: Roman Slyško (SVK); Martin Balko (SVK)
4th official: Viktor Kassai (HUN)
T-minus 10: Ugh... Foudy. I can understand an SC anchor stumbling over 'Van Nistelrooy,' but he's only played for maybe the two most famous clubs in the world.
T-minus 8: Okay, good think Henry went to Barca. He's dead to me and I don't have to worry about mixed club allegiances fucking my Nationalism.
T-minus 6: Crowd-wide "Seven Nation Army" chant. Not a White Stripes fan. If you want me to lose my shit, you're going to have give me 50,000 people singing along to "Killer Parties."
T-minus 3: And we have our first crowd shot of hot Italian poon. Followed by "Song of the Cheese Eating Surrender Monkey"
T-minus 2: Rain. Repeat of what Cech pulled?
T-minus (-1): Ack... Grosso is going to have to come forward from the left back slot a lot to give some width. Look for France to try to expose that.
0:00: Kick. Italy in white moving left to right on your radio dial. France in blew.
2nd minute: First good push from France. Ribery cuts to the top of the box and fires a shot that is blocked away for a corner. Cleared by Italy.
3rd minute: Ref holds a small summit meeting. France takes a corner that lands at the top of the 18 but there is nobody there. Cleared.
4th minute: Italy looks a little tentative... Oh, on Toni's foot and he shoots it wide. Fail. He should have done much better with that. I'm agreeing with Andy Gray that he should have taken another touch on that before shooting.
6th minute: Really Italy, you're going to play Route 1 football? Counter from France. Ribery from the left side, puts it across the box, but it goes to nobody.
7th minute: Italy with nothing in the midfield. Zambrotta taken down by Ribery and it's Ribery who looks hurt. This would be bad for Ribery and France. Might be his ankle. Stretcher cart is out and he is still on the ground.
9th miunte: Still tending to Ribery. For all the ribbing. As an Italian, I want to take the French down at their best. Nasri to come on for Ribery.
10th minutes: And it's free kick for Italy on the restart as Ribery did foul Zambrotta. Corner from the free kick... Oh, and it's almost a header from Panucci. On replay that was going in but it was Makalele who put a leg to it to clear it. So close...
12th minute: France working the midfield. Two teams exchange possession on some sloppy giveaways.
13th minute: Perotta on the counter. Tries a long feed to Toni, but it's disruppted by Abidal maybe. France now working back up the pitch. A long cross clears to box and falls harmlessly to the italians.
15th minute: Now Italy counters and Grosso gets deep. But he wastes the cross. It's partially deflected and we're back up the pitch on the feet of France. Low shot from Benzema goes wide of the near side.
16th minute: Ref is getting a little whistle happy. Think he wants a restart on the restart by Italy. Which we get and it's quickly turned over.
18th minute: Both teams are looking to attack but neither team is stringing together any long possessions. Cassano taken down by Evra, hey my least favorite player on the pitch. Pirlo to take the kick.
19th minute: Nice job by Coupet. But he almost left it too late on the save and came close to giving Toni a chance on a header. Govou wastes a counter. He takes a shot instead of feeding either Benzema or Henry both of whom were breaking into an open space. Stupid.
20th minute: Exchange of long kicks results in a throw in for Italy. It's up and down without much actually happening. Both teams are getting near chances but not forcing the keepers to work for the most part.
22nd minute: Great ball from Pirlo but Perrotta can't get a touch to control it. Bummer that would have been the best chance of the match.
23rd minute: Pirlo was fouled but with no whistle. Benzema works to the right edge of the box then has the ball knocked out off his feet. Play results in a GK for Italy. I'm too tense to make jokes (I"m wigwam, I'm a teepee... I'm two tents).
24th mintue: And it's a straight red for Abidal! Great touch on the long ball to Toni, he drags it down and Abidal as the last man takes him down. It's a PK for Italy. Pirlo to take it.
PIRLO 1-0 Italy. He pokes it to the top left corner and Italy lead with the PK and are a man up.
26th minute: I'll defer to Andy Gray who says the penalty and the card were deserved. I can see France saying it was harsh, but Abidal was the last man and he took a decent whack at the back of Toni's legs. Actually think it was the second contact that got him the card. Ouch.
27th minute: Was typing and did sese the change... Oooh, De Rossi with a blast just high.
28th minute: More pressure from Italy. Looking to put this away quickly. Cassano has it stripped from him. Then another cross into the box and Toni tries to get cheeky with a nice little backheel flick.
29th minute: Backing up, it was Nasri that came off for likely another defender. Didn't catch the change. And another great ball to Toni. This one from Pirlo. Instead of brining it down, Toni tries to one-time it and it pushes it wide. It would have been difficult to say the least.
31st minute: Toni is suddenly a menace in the box. But he can't put away 2 or 3 chances. Again, none were easy, but he could have pretty much ended this for Italy.
Thanks to Cedric for the change it was Boumsong on for Nasri.
33rd minute: So France needs two goals and they are a man down and under siege. Insert French surrender joke here. Grosso skies one. And De Rossi collects a whistle. And Henry pushes one just wide. A great through ball from almost midfield, it was right on Henry's foot but he pushed it wide of the far post.
35th minute: Italy have let France up off the mat. They are creating some chances and getting pressure. Italy looking to counter. They turn it over and France works it up the midfield patiently.
36th minute: France's work is paying off in that they are getting to the box with possession but Italy gets a foot to the ball before it gets dangerous. Pirlo gives it away, then robs it right back. Nice tackle, but the possession is wastd and back from France.
7th minute: Gattusso gets a touch on Henry as he fires and it's a free kick to Frnace from outside the top of the circle. Benzema takes it and fires it right into the wall. Sorry blogger just got a little bitchy. Free kick into the wall, and Italy counters.
40th minute: Again, screw blogger. About three errors. Fortunately the two teams obliged by kicking it back and forth for a couplathree minutes.
42nd minute: Benzema sends one to the back post but there is nobody there. Henry checked his run. GK for Italy.
43rd minute: Still pletny of life in the match as Italy know they can't sleep on a 1-goal lead. Free kick for Italy at the top right of the box. Grosso to take it. OH... and it's a beautiful strike low and angled that hits square on the post. That was inches from putting this one in the books. Perrotta is down, or he was. Now he's up. Magic water... is there anything you can't do?
45th minute: Pirlo called for a foul. Dubious. Coupet did get a touch on that ball and saved France. Really, that was going in.
+1 minute: The kick hangs and gives Buffon just enough time to come catch it.
+2 minute: More pressure from France. But another harmless cross cleared back to midfield.
+3 minute: Ref stops play. Evra faking. Really, get up you pansy. Italy robbed of a counter.
+4 minute: Card for Chiellini. Yellow. Free kick for France. Italy trying to give chances back. The ball bounced in the box. Benzema was there, but can't get a touch on it. Italy are able to clear. Nervous moments in the last few seconds but nothing coronary inducing.
Half. Italy 1 - France 0
Apparently I missed a yellow by Pirlo. Really? French players were hitting the pitch more easily than, well, an Italian.
Okay, good readers, I have a prior obligation meaning this now becomes an open thread. If another UF'er can jump on and finish the liveblog, please do.
Friday, June 13, 2008
Euro 2008 Liveblog: Italy v. Romania
Welcome to the liveblog for the Italy - Romania match. As always, the model comparison:+italy.jpg)
Carla Bruni-Sarkozy: Even in an Italy-Romania match, I manage to work in a French connection.
Catrinel Menghia: She wins the Internets.
Once again, join me after the jump for line-ups and live-bloggisms.
Italy starting XI:
GK - Buffon
DEF - Grosso; Chiellini; Panucci; Zambrotta
MID - Camoranesi; DeRossi; Pirlo; Del Piero (C); Perrotta
ST - Toni
Note: This means that Donadoni has made some significant changes to the line-up that started the match against the Netherlands. Most importantly, the Anti-Christ (Materazzi) is on the bench.
Romania starting XI:
GK - Lobont
DEF - Contra; Tamas; Goian; Rat
MID - Radoi; Petre; Codrea; Chivu (C)
ST - Niculae; Mutu
Note: Coach Victor Piturca has replaced Cocis (MID) and Nicolita (ST) with Petre (MID) and Codrea (MID), indicating that Romania may be happy with a tie in this situation, which could be dangerous for them.
Centre official - Tom Henning Ovrebo (Norway)
Assistant referees - Geir Age Holen (Norway); Jan Petter Randen (Norway)
4th official - Ivan Bebek (Croatia)
Stadium - Letzigrund; Zurich, Switzerland
00:00 - I'm here early. Are you?
00:00 - Julie Foudy with the brilliant comment that it is "unusual" for the Italians to change 5 players from last game to this game. God kills a kitten.
00:00 - Mike establishes his bonafides as a heterosexual male by requesting less skin in future liveblogs. To be fair to me, there are no naughty bits showing, so maybe Mike needs a new job.
00:00 - Boy, Sugar Ray is singing the Romanian national anthem with some gusto. I farted just as it began - bad sign for the Romanians.
00:00 - The Fan's Attic has joined the 21st century and is now viewing the footy in HD. Good news for all of us later as he liveblogs France - Netherlands match (I recused myself from that match, as a heart attack suffered during the game would interfere with a liveblog).
00:01 - And we're off!
00:33 - Quick start for the Romanians as a cross into the box is headed wide by Mutu.
02:11 - Nice brief run from Camoranesi, but he ends up dispossessed by Tamas.
02:58 - Rat turns the ball over after a run to the midfield, but the Italian counter-attack is stopped by Goian.
03:20 - On the other end the quick Romanian counter results in an offsides call on Mutu.
04:20 - The game's first corner results from a nice run by Del Piero, but the Romanians play it out safely.
Derek Rae informs us that Italy have never lost 2 matches "on the trot", as opposed to Tottenham, who lost 4th place in the EPL because they "had the trots." HI-OH!
06:18 - A long ball over the top from Tamas is slightly too long for Mutu to reach, and Buffon eats it up.
07:50 - Free kick for Italy is struck by Pirlo directly at Chivu, and the ball ends up over the touchline for a throw. The Italians waste the opportunity.
08:58 - The Italians get the best chance yet. The ball is dropped onto Del Piero's foot, and comes out to Perrotta, who plays it back inside, only for Del Piero to head it wide.
10:48 - First appearance of the Magic Spray for Tamas.
11:35 - Free kick to the Italians as Petre blows on Luca Toni. The ball is played in too close to the Romanians, and Mutu clears the ball.
12:20 - On a quick turn-around, Camoranesi plays the ball into Toni, who is slightly too short.
13:21 - Yet another corner for Italy, but it floats across the box all the way to the opposite touchline.
14:40 - Brilliant through ball for Mutu, but Buffon absolutely stones him.
15:57 - Pirlo to Zambrotta to Gross to Toni, who heads it over the bar yet again. The Italians are passing beautifully and have had 4 legitimate chances on goal to no avail.
17:08 - Free kick for Romania, and it's a rocket taken by Tamas, forcing a good save in the corner from Buffon.
19:00 - Another free kick for Romania, and it's taken by Chivu, who hits the post (after a deflection of Panucci). The Italians clear.
19:51 - Radoi and Rat clashed while they were both going for a header, and are still down on the pitch.
21:10 - Radoi has to come off after the collision, and is replaced by Cocis (who started Romania's last match).
22:30 - Clever run Contra, with a back-heel pass returned from Petre. The ball is served in to Niculae, but the ball is cleared. The resulting corner is cleared again by Camoranesi.
22:40 - The second corner goes right to Buffon, who plays it long to Zambrotta. He is dispossessed by the Romanians, who immediately turn it over to De Rossi.
25:00 - CORRECTION. Radoi had not been replaced yet. His substitute now comes on, and it's Dica.
25:50 - Grosso plays the ball through to Del Piero, who almost gets a boot in the face for his trouble. The ball continues through and is over the endline.
26:30 - Camoranesi plays the ball into Toni in the 6-yard box, but it is headed wide yet again.
28:00 - The ball is played through the midfield for Romania, and Rat gets off an absolute cracker which goes wide of a diving Buffon. Unfortunately, it also goes just wide of the post for a goal kick.
29:01 - Mutu is offsides by 25 yards.
29:38 - The Italians turn the ball over, but Chiellini deals with the Romanian counter-attack. The ball comes out to Del Piero, who is fouled by Petre for a free kick.
30:19 - The Italian free kick is taken by Pirlo, who does shite.
31:07 - Zambrotta plays in an excellent ball to Toni, who is fronted by Tamas, and the ball is headed wide again.
31:35 - The Romanians turn over the ball and Contra fouls Del Piero at 20 yards for a dangerous free kick.
32:00 - The free kick is taken by Del Piero but is well wide and high.
33:22 - Turnover at midfield, but the Romanians fail to take advantage, playing a ball through directly to Buffon.
35:10 - Ball played through by Rat, but it goes well wide of Buffon and the goal.
37:22 - Nice ball movement by the Italians goes nowhere as Chivu steals the ball and plays it out for an Italian throw-in in their own half.
38:40 - A clusterfuck in front of goal after a cross from Zambrotta is knocked down by Toni to Perrotta's feet. The resulting corner forces a save from Lobont. The second corner is headed goal-bound by Toni but Lobont makes a brilliant save.
40:00 - The third corner for Italy is also headed goal-bound and Lobont makes a beautiful diving save which is then played out by Tamas.
41:10 - DeRossi plays a long ball too close to Lobont, who makes an easy save.
42:20 - Pirlo is fouled by Mutu, who is shown the yellow card. Sugar Ray sales dip precipitously.
43:34 - Camoranesi plays a great ball through to Del Piero, but he's offsides.
45:00(+00:15) - Nice ball movement by the Romanians results in a botched shot from Contra. The ball comes out to Chivu, who has his shot blocked. In the ensuing chaos, Del Piero fouls Mutu.
45:00 (+02:00) - NO GOAL! An Italian corner resulted from Rat playing the ball out. The corner comes in to Toni (who looked onside as the ball was played), who heads it in. Goal disallowed.
HALF-TIME - Lingering Bursitis' pick for Lobont as the MotM is looking prescient (look it up). It's so astounding, even people in Mike's office are talking about him.
45:00 - And the second half is underway!
47:00 - Italy quickly on the attack for a corner, but it results in nothing because Toni was naughty.
48:00 - Ball in from Dica to Mutu, but Buffon gets there first.
50:05 - Throw-in for the Romanians is cleared by Pirlo, but it goes right back to the Romanians.
50:31 - The Italians counter-attack, but Contra touches the ball away from Del Piero as he was readying to shoot.
51:43 - Camoranesi fouls Rat by looking at him wrong, but the resulting free kick is played to an offsides Niculae.
53:09 - Mutu gets off a nice shot but Buffon smothers it.
54:10 - GOAL! Romania 1 - Italy 0. Petre is fouled, and off the ensuing free kick the ball is played through, and Zambrotta attempts to head it to Buffon. Mutu is there, and he blasts it past Buffon.
55:50 - GOAL! Romania 1 - Italy 1. The Italians play the ball to the far post off a corner kick, and Chiellini heads it back across for Panucci to finish.
57:30 - Chivu receives a yellow card for coming through from behind.
58:21 - The Romanians press again, but the Italians clear.
58:49 - Nicolita on for Petre for Romania. UF favorite Cassano on for Perrotta for Italy.
59:30 - Yellow card for Pirlo, for knocking Nicolita off his feet.
62:46 - The ball is poked through to Toni, but he is unable to get on the end and it crosses the endline.
63:54 - DeRossi blasts a shot towards goal, but it hits Del Piero, who was offsides.
64:42 - Another ball through for Toni, but Lobont makes an excellent save. Toni was offsides anyway.
66:25 - Romania with a very long ball for Niculae, but it is too far and Buffon picks it up. The ball comes back and Toni heads the ball directly to Lobont.
69:19 - More solid midfield play from the Romanians results in a ball to Dica, which is deflected to Niculae, but the Grosso plays it out. No corner given.
70:10 - The Romanians get good pressure from Mutu to Chivu to Nicolita, but the ball is played back into the midfield. The Italians counter and win a corner off a Tamas header. The corner is played to the midfield, and a long range shot is held by Lobont right on the goal line. The Italians claim that it was over.
72:16 -Goian picks up a stupid yellow for kicking the ball away, which means that he will miss the next match as it is his 2nd yellow for this round.
72:50 - Free kick for Italy is taken by Pirlo, and it is immediately headed back out to him. The Romanians clear.
74:20 - Cassano to Toni to DeRossi but Lobont makes yet another incredible diving save.
75:11 - Mutu with a shot that is deflected out for a corner. The resulting kick is cleared but only out to Rat, who puts in a weak shot.
76:05 - Del Piero is out, Quagliarella in for Italy. Captain's armband to Buffon.
77:32 - A clever back-heel by Cassano is played back into the middle, but is chested down by Lobont. The Italians are immediately back in and Zambrotta plays the ball across the box to be cleared. The resulting corner is take well by Lobont.
79:12 - Dica receives the ball in the box, but DeRossi plays it away before he gets off a good shot. Mutu takes the corner and Niculae is taken down in the box for a PK.
80:27 - Brilliant save on Mutu from Buffon on the PK! Abso-fucking-lutely brilliant save!
82:00 - After an Italian free kick skies over the bar, we get a close-up of Mutu looking like he's about to cry.
83:27 - DeRossi with a nice challenge on Nicolita to dispossess him, and the ball comes into the 6-yard box from Grosso. The Romanians clear.
84:20 - Ambrosini on for Camoranesi for Italy.
85:10 - Cassano plays a ball into the box and Toni goes down, appealing for a PK. None given, and the ball rolls over the endline.
86:31 - Ball played forward to Cassano (who was offsides, but not called). Toni goes down in the box and grabs the ball, screaming for a PK. None given.
87:44 - Cocis on for Mutu for Romania.
88:51 - Long ball over the top for Cassano, who serves in a miserable pass (or takes a shitty shot).
89:30 - Long ball over the top flicked on to Quagliarella, who is offsides. He goes down anyway, and appeals for a PK.
90:00 (+00:59) - Gross dribbles into the box and goes down in a ridiculous flop. The ball comes out to the other hand and DeRossi is awarded a yellow for a foul on Contra. Free kick for Romania from 35 yards, but Tamas puts it wide.
FULL TIME - Romania 1 - Italy 1.
This was actually the best possible result for France - take care of business and you're in, boys!
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