Samuel L. wants to keep his possessions

There are plenty of celebrity soccer fans, and plenty more to come, but last night's ESPYs saw the world's finest loud-voiced, over-the-top actor pledging his allegiance to the Red Scouse.

Though it might stop his house from getting burgled, it'll never be able to stop that shark.

Samuel L. picked up the LFC bug back in 2001 while filming so-so crime flick The 51st State, a movie in which his character goes to a Liverpool/Man U tilt at Anfield.



Ever since, he's been an avid follower, and decided to show his pride on the red carpet for ESPN and the paparazzi, although he's not often understood by his Hollywood pals: "I put my Liverpool gear on every now and again, and people say '"what the hell is that?"'

I thought Becks had fixed this problem! Poor Sam.

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Rafa Rants (again)

Make no mistake, I'm a homer.

As a Liverpool fan, I see the world through red-tinted shades. I regularly sip the cherry Kool-Aid. Without many exceptions, my rear end can be found parked squarely behind LFC whenever an issue that requires side-taking is raised.

That isn't to say, however, that I possess an utterly blind faith, lack reason or operate within a reality-distortion sphere. I enjoy thinking for myself and am rather capable of it, thank you very much.

Now, I genuinely like Rafa Benitez. I fully trust in his ability to lead Liverpool and shape its future for the better. I also believe he can and will lead us to the Premier League title. Yet, when Rafa Benitez starts sounding off, I have to take whatever words come out of his mouth with a sizable pinch of salt.

His out-of-the-blue (but ultimately, dead-on) attack on Sir Alex Ferguson this past winter is well documented. There have also been more than a few dust-ups with Gillett and Hicks. If you've ever listened to a Rafa Benitez press conference, its obvious he's not afraid to make his feelings known, although often in a passive-aggressive manner.

Like an uncle you know is going to get drunk and take his pants off at any given family event, I've come to expect this petulant behavior from Rafa. While I won't make excuses for it, I'm not embarrassed -- it's just part and parcel, a small price to pay for the greater good.

One of my favorite Rafa Benetiz press conference 'moves' comes when a reporter asks a question Rafa doesn't want to answer; He'll just answer with a non-sequitar.

"Rafa, what do have you say about Manager X's comments about your possible pursuit of Player Y?"

"Yes, I am very happy with the way the team is training. We look forward to the opportunity to get three points tomorrow."

So, it's not shocking that Rafa has struck out once again, this time focusing on a former transfer target, Gareth Barry. (seriously, we all thought that story was done and buried.... please?)

Like a lover still scorned, Rafa hit out at the England international for choosing Man City over Liverpool this summer:

At this level everyone earns big money. The question is do you make the right decisions and do what is best for your career? If it's just for money sometimes you will make mistakes and I've been surprised by some decisions this summer – like Barry. I won't say too much but it was clearly 100% for money. The most important thing for me, though, is the passion of the players.

MEEEEE-OW.

Then, in practically the same breath, Rafa does his best Clint Eastwood Squint of Warning towards the summer's most coveted central midfield pair, Xabi Alonso and Javier Mascherano:

Don't forget we signed Alonso from Real Sociedad when nobody knew about him and we renewed his contract two years ago, so he was happy then, and you know what happened with Mascherano at West Ham before we brought him here. Both players owe a lot to Liverpool. They owe Liverpool some loyalty and they both know that.

Sounds a lot like "I took you into this world, I sure as hell can take you out!" Thanks, Mom.

There are those who will say Rafa's propensity for foaming at the mouth hurts his team, but I'm not buying. While the recent spat with SAF coincided nicely with Liverpool's surrender at the summit, the mental make-up of a top-notch professional squad has to be stronger than that. Especially when they should be used to hearing this song & dance by now.

Quite honestly, I'd like to see Rafa press conferences expanded to include topics completely unrelated to the footballing world.

"Rafa, do you think about the global attention devoted to the death of Michael Jackson?"

"For me, the most important thing is having a well-rounded breakfast. You cannot find success throughout the day if you do not start that day off correctly, no?"

"Rafa, your thoughts on the recent elections and unrest in Iran?

"In my home, we have the satelitte television. I am very happy with the package we have subscribed to. It gives us options, which is good. Maybe too many options?"

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Real Madrid Now Addressing The Defense

After splashing down well over 100M Euros for Kaka and Ronaldo earlier this month, everybody wondered whether Real Madrid ever address its woeful defense. The answer is beginning to take shape as it appears the first sale in Valencia's firesale will be Raul Albiol, and Real Madrid is doing the buying for a reported £12.8m.

That is one Liverpool target gobbled up by Madrid and it still looks like Real has eyes for a current Liverpool player, Alvaro Arbeloa. One wonders though, how much they will actually pay if Liverpool will not let Alonso go.

It might be time, soon, to revisit the Madrid roster and how it might look next year.

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Hicks & Gillett Live To Fight Another Day!

Those two cowboys in charge of LFC have managed to lasso themselves a stay of execution from that crippling bank debt, renegotiating a new lending agreement with the Royal Bank of Scotland. The other bank that's owed a shit-ton of money, Wachovia, hasn't announced any revised agreements, but you figure that it will follow.

RBS are insisting on significant payments within the next six months, which worries me greatly; after all, how are you gonna do that? Well, you could sell all your best players, for a start. There are enough rumors about Xabi Alonso and Javier Mascherano, two absolutely vital players in the midfield, heading to Spain if they don't get better contracts to stay at Anfield, and it gets me a little scared.

That said, Gillett sold his 80% stake in the Montreal Canadiens, worth some 333 million pounds ($550 million), and you can bet that quite a bit of that cash will go to alleviating the debt.

It's not quite zero hour in Liverpool, but it's close. The morons have shown that they want to keep LFC at the top (ok, second from top) rather than run some bargain-basement EPL franchise with all that money spent on Glen Johnson, a frickin' right-back. Sure, he was a bit pricey for the position, but with the new Champions League regulations trickling down from UEFA, those English teams need to have more homegrown players in their squads and the purchase makes sense. As Rafa says, you can't compete in the EPL without spending some money.

As for the other owner, Tom Hicks has also been looking to sell off chunks of the Texas Rangers and the Dallas Stars, which is great for those poor, mishandled franchises, and should also help show the bank that they have enough cash to keep LFC going.

I'll come down off the ledge, stop hyperventilating and get ready for the extended tenure of Hicks & Gillett at my beloved club. I mean, if they're selling all their other sports franchises and getting the money into LFC to buy players, keep players and maybe win us a title, I think I can forgive them for their wheeling and dealing.

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Quick Throw: Glen Johnson officially joins LFC

The highly-rated Pompey right-back becomes the off-season's latest player to snub advances from Chelsea (Yuri Zhirkov and Kaka before him, if you're keeping score at home) and sign elsewhere with his confirmed move to Liverpool. It fulfills one of LFC's biggest needs in strength at the wing-back positions, and it also means we climb up the rankings for the number of English players in our starting lineup.

That makes three, bitches! Eat our dust, Arsenal!

[Guardian Sport]

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Quick Throw: Gillett to Sell Canadiens

Well, this should free up some cash for Stadler (or is it Waldorf?). George Gillett is selling his 80.1% stake in the Montreal Canadiens as well as the Bell Centre (the team's arena) and the Gillett Entertainment Group (the team's promotion company). The deal is said to be worth $550M.

Here's the fun part. The Molson family—yes, the beer one—is buying it.

No, we're not becoming a hockey blog but this probably has something to do with LFC and its debt.

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Late Night Quick Throw: Glen Johnson To Anfield

Well, it looks like Rafa Benitez has his first signing of the transfer season and its a doozie. The Times and The Sun are both reporting that Portsmouth has accepted Liverpool's bid for Glen Johnson for a reported £19M. The Sun states that Johnson will report for a medical in Liverpool tomorrow. There is a chance Chelsea could still pip them for the fullback, but we have a bid reportedly accepted.

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Fernando re-ups at Anfield

Fernando Torres has been busy signing things lately. First, his marriage license, and now, a new deal at Anfield that could keep him there until 2013, with an option for 2014.

On his website, he had this to say:

"I want to remain here (at Anfield). Since arriving at Liverpool I feel that there is a bond and commitment. We listened to the club's offer, which came on the back of two seasons of positive work. My objective now is to win a trophy with Liverpool next season."

I pray to God that trophy is not a Carling Cup.

After the jump, a vid or two showing his goalscoring. Why? I mean, why not?

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And the wind cries... Rafa

Well, that's that. Something about how all the jacks are in their boxes, whether the wind will ever remember the names it has blown in the past, oh, and brooms drearily sweeping the remnants of yesterday's life.

The EPL was decided in that most thrilling of fashions, a 0-0 draw that United really could/should have lost, and we must all drag our attention to August, where the excitement and optimism of new signings still makes us all thing our teams are going to win the league. This is the year, this is it, I can feel it... etc etc ad nauseam.

And in a bid to keep the journos busy over the summer, Rafa Benitez couldn't resist another jab or two. Which is weird, as I always thought it was the winners that got to do this kind of thing.

So what did he do exactly? Something very becoming of a high-schooler, or maybe even Tracey Flick. He refused to congratulate Alex Ferguson! He wouldn't give him credit! He was smug! Et cetera!

Asked whether he would congratulate Ferguson in the wake of their 18th League title, Benítez, who had gone public with his grievances with the United manager in January with his infamous list of "facts", replied: "I will say congratulations to Manchester United." Not Sir Alex? "Ah, done well," said the Spaniard begrudgingly, "but I prefer to say congratulations to Manchester United; good club, big club."

It is protocol for the manager that finishes runners-up to send a letter of congratulations to his triumphant counterpart but Benítez gave little indication he will have a pen in his hand over the next few days when he was asked if he would write to Ferguson. "I have had normally to be polite and to respect the other manager at the end of the season. He has said a lot of things that I didn't like. I say congratulations to Man United because they have won and that's it."

(When added to his refusal to admit United are that much better, it makes for hilarious reading)

At least the Spaniard is consistent. I mean, does SAF really give a toss? He's sitting home with his silver polish while Senor Benitez is gorging on paella and figuring out which left-back to purchase in the summer.

Don't get me wrong here; I love Rafa, in large part because this season, despite ending trophyless again, has been the closest to something resembling progress during his tenure. Trending up, they call it, and no, I'm not delusional. Though we crashed and burned in domestic cups early, we're on course to finish second, something I don't think we've managed this century.

There's all the statistical rubbish about finishing within 10 points of the champs for the first time in ages, as well as the wonderful record against United, Arsenal and Chelsea (4 wins, 2 draws, having beaten none of 'em since the Benitez era began).

Still, we finished second, we faltered in February with that agonizing run of draws, and if ever there was a time to be contrite and quiet, it might be that first presser after those c*nts at Old Trafford hoisted the title. I give him mild credit for trying to maintain some drama in the league.

Which brings me to that nagging question: when is Jose Mourinho coming back to the EPL?

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Quick Throw: here we go again...

Brace yourselves, folks. The Gareth Barry-to-Anfield saga is showing signs of life once again.

That noise you hear? Me banging my head against the wall at the thought of replacing Xabi Alonso with Gareth fuckin' Barry.

[Guardian Sport - Barry/Alonso]
[Guardian Sport - Rafa's side of the love affair]

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Chav Mobile

I'll admit that I don't have the best grasp of exactly what a Chav is. I imagine them to be some mixture of Guidos, Ricers and Rednecks. (If I missed offensively naming a similar group, please let me know). Broad, I know, but I'm not British.

Anyway, if Chavs are the delightful mixture that I put together above, then do I have just the phone for them to buy steal. Courtesy of Liverpool FC and Galentia, The Liverpool FC Legends Edition mobile phone.

Chavs aren't Pikeys (I'm on a roll), why would I have them steal it? Well, the price is a tad steep. For just south of £15,000, this phone can be yours. What do you get for such a price? Awesomeness, that's what.

Exclusivity: only 250 will be made
Garishness: Each phone is cased in 18 karat gold
Opulence: 18 diamonds encrusted on the back casing, representing 18 league titles
Useless knickknack: A commemorative medallion featuring Anfield
Small pet coffin: It all comes in a black walnut box

So the obvious joke is that Liverpool have already counted themselves out of the EPL race, because of the 18 diamonds. But we knew that anyway, right?


And if the phone just isn't gaudy enough for you, Galentia offers Bespoke Service, which is Limey-speak for pimping something out even further. As the Galentia website says "(i)t may be just a name added, or perhaps diamonds or different precious metals, but it is your personal taste and vision that can be realised." So if you want Rafa's goatee hair added to your phone, they will do it for you.


Finally, for all of those who stumble across this page looking for an actual Chavmobile, here it is.


Gotta say, I'm impressed.

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The Itandje Method of Getting Fired.

For those of you who don't know him, Charles Itandje is the Liverpool reserve goalkeeper. He's also rather rubbish; his last start for the first team was that FA Cup defeat by Barnsley, you know the one, where he was left sprawled out like a drunk at Christmas, unable to stop Brian Howard's injury-time rocket.

Not only is he no good in goal, but he's not much good as a person; spotted laughing and joking on camera during the Hillsborough memorial service, the club has had enough. Itandje's getting a fine and a hasty transfer in the summer.

From the Guardian:

Members of the congregation afterwards complained about Itandje's behaviour, which was in stark contrast to the solemn occasion and that of the rest of the Liverpool squad. Rafael Benítez, the team manager, is understood to be livid with the 26-year-old having studied the complaints and the footage.

Anfield officials have described Itandje's behaviour as "wholly unacceptable" and are exploring the maximum punishment they can impose on the player with their legal advisers. He is unlikely to play for the club again.

While I support the club fully on this one (as you'd expect), what do you think: right move, or a harsh move? Does it even matter considering he's crap anyway?

In the meantime, let us bid adieu to Monsieur Itandje. I wonder if he'll find it as funny when he's playing in Cyprus or Norway next season.

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Liverpool and the Transfer Market

Rafa: bought more downers than Amy Winehouse

As we get over the CL quarters, I thought I'd pinch an idea from The Likely Lad (well, I am a Scouser, after all) and look at Rafa's work in the transfer market since his arrival in 2004.

With all the momentum lately, as well as the slowly swelling hubbub of speculated Anfield departures, it's worth taking a look at some of the more memorable ups and downs of the fat Spanish waiter's signings and pink slips.

And yes, it's a slow news day as well.


Fernando Torres (Atletico Madrid, 20.2 million, July 2007)
THE GOLDEN CHILD, NATCH

Considering some of the colossal flops up front in Rafa's reign (see further down), Torres was the answer to the striking woes that have haunted the club since the retirement of Ian Rush. A predator, a battler, a trickster and a goalscorer, he's in it for the long haul. We hope.


Xabi Alonso (Real Sociedad, 10.75 million, August 2004)
Dirk Kuyt (Feyenoord, 9 million, August 2006)
THE MOST UNSUNG HEROES

If you looked at the Liverpool squad of today, you'd have to credit these two for being far more important to the cause than they're currently acknowledged.

Alonso is that rarest of breeds: a quiet Spaniard, he of the burgeoning face-scruff and alarmingly accurate passing. Known to control games like his country's bullfighters tame angry bovines, Xabi is a perfect, serene counterpoint to the badge-kissing mania of Gerrard and the sweaty, defensive hysteria of Mascherano (another massively important buy, one I excluded from this list).

He is the conductor, the maestro, the straw that stirs the drink, allowing his more fiery teammates to play their natural games without worrying about that patch of grass around the center circle.

While Alonso gains plaudits and praise whenever Mascherano or Lucas get themselves sent off or whenever Stevie G's groin or hamstring crumbles like the Temple of Doom, the facially-challenged Dutchman has been just as vital.

Unlike the large portion of footballers who are arm-flailing, ref-complaining divas, Dirk has played wherever and whenever without complaint, never giving anything less than his best effort (despite sometimes looking agonizingly uncoordinated at times), scoring important/ugly goals and keeping a low profile.

Without 'em, we're looking at the UEFA Cup. Sorry, Europa League.


Martin Skrtel (Zenit St. Petersburg, 6.5 million, January 2008)
SCARY DIAMOND IN THE RUSSIAN/SLOVAKIAN ROUGH

Credit to Zenit for becoming the de facto talent machine that was Dario Gradi's Crewe Alexandra in the 80s and 90s. With the big names like Pavlyuchenko (crap) and Arshavin (not crap) taking the spotlight, it's easy to forget that this sure-footed center-back (PLEASE don't use him on the right again) honed his skills there, and was bought for a good price considering how tight the Russkies keep their fists when it comes to transfer fees.

Sure-footed, decisive, and downright scary (I swear I've seen him holding an AK-47 somewhere...), he is an able candidate to hold down one of those CB spots for many years to come. Now we just need Agger to heat his cold feet...


Andrea Dossena (Udinese, 8 million, July 2008)
Philipp Degen (Borussia Dortmund, Free, July 2008)
Jose Miguel Gonzalez Rey (Josemi) (CD Malaga, 2 million, July 2004. Sold to Villareal, Free, January 2006)
Sebastian Leto (Lanus, 2.5 million, July 2007)
Gabriel Paletta (Banfield, 2 million, July 2006. Released August 2007)
Antonio Barragan (Sevilla, 240k, July 2005. Sold to Deportivo La Coruna, 680k, August 2006)
I WANT MY MONEY BACK FOR THESE FULL BACKS

(Yes, that's what Philipp Degen looks like, above)

There are some positions you just don't skimp on. World-class full-backs aren't cheap, and yet this collection of scrap metal have cost about as much combined as perhaps one Bosingwa or Sergio Ramos might on the open market. 15+ million pounds wasted on Argentine rubbish and lesser-known European twaddle.

Dossena's temporarily reprieved because of his knack of scoring late, meaningless goals in heavy wins, but take those two strikes away (and how gorgeous that finish at Old Trafford was, mind you), and you're looking at someone with a worse left foot than Daniel Day Lewis in that movie, and about as mobile/charismatic, too.

This collective of flank-dwelling drivel is perfectly suited to the defensively-carefree frolic of La Liga, where attackers hold sway and fans enjoy seeing 7 goals a game.


Ryan Babel (Ajax, 11.5 million, July 2007)
THE ENIGMA

You know the type; the player with tons of talent and tons more ego who secures a big move to a marquee club only to falter, languish, before flourishing and living up to full potential elsewhere.

I fear this might be the case for young Ryan. When he begins his mazy gallop upfield, you just know it's a matter of time before he either trips over the ball or surrenders it meekly to whatever opposition traffic cone stands before him. It's frustrating to watch, and it's a big reason why he's found himself warming the pine behind Riera and the Super Jew.

That said, these things take time; could he eventually blossom, or is his confidence shot for as long as he's at Anfield? All these prodigious young talents need to marinate. Walcott was thrown in at the deep end but eventually proved his worth, and once he did, a spot in the starting lineup was assured.

Babel's glaring open-goal miss against Pompey might have been the final nail in his coffin, but let's be honest; the lad does try, albeit a little too much. When introduced late in games, he will dribble until his feet detach at the ankles, and that's part of the problem. Strapping the team to your back in search of a late winner or equalizer is noble, but he forgets that there's 9 other numpties in Red stood around him, trying to accomplish the same goal. In short: FUCKING PASS IT SOMETIMES!!!

With his raw pace, lazy dribbling and erratic finishing, he'd be perfect at Arsenal, although knowing our luck, he'd become the new Thierry Henry (settle down, NY Kid).


Jermaine Pennant (Birmingham City, 6.7 million, July 2006)
Mark Gonzalez (Albacete, 1.5 million, July 2005. Sold to Real Betis, 3.5 million, July 2007)
WHAT THE F*CK IS UP WITH THE RIGHT WING?

When I was a teenager, Steve McManaman had the right flank on lockdown, and rightly so; he was a gangly, awkward looking fella, but he was deadly moving forward. Scored a boatload of goals from the wing, gave defenders nightmares, and always had fun in the process. Fast forward to the present day, and we can't find a right-winger to save our lives, so much so that our workhorse striker has been converted into a solution out wide.


Robbie Keane (Spurs, 19 million, July 2008. Sold to Spurs, 15 million, January 2009)
Peter Crouch (Southampton, 7 million, July 2005. Sold to Portsmouth, 11 million, July 2008)
Fernando Morientes (5.5 million, January 2005, Real Madrid. Sold to Valencia, 3.1 million, May 2006)
Andrei Voronin (Bayer Leverkusen, Free, July 2007. Loaned to Hertha Berlin, July 2008)
Craig Bellamy (Blackburn Rovers, 6 million, July 2006. Sold to West Ham United, 7.5 million, July 2007)
WE GONNA ROCK DOWN TO FAILED STRIKER AVENUE

All of these guys have a pedigree of sorts, and yet they were all shite at Anfield. Proof positive that not all great players can be great everywhere they go. Maybe we had these one/two season wonders during their crisis of confidence phase, and we were just unlucky. Maybe there's no such thing as a sure thing up front.

Maybe Rafa's just not that good at evaluating talent, although to be fair, you can go back a lot further than Benitez to find agony up front: Stan Collymore, Djibril Cisse, El Hadji Diouf, Emile Heskey, Anthony Le Tallec, Milan Baros, Florent Sinama-Pongolle, Titi Camara, Karl Heinze Riedle.

If you add up the money spent on these 5, plus the other 9 I mentioned, and you have nearly 70 million pounds.

Fuck. The mind boggles.

How many David Villas does that buy?

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Remembering Hillsborough.

Many American friends have asked me about Hillsborough over the years. What happened, why it happened. How could such a tragedy be allowed to happen? Well today is the 20th anniversary of a day that changed football in England forever. 96 people died in pens like cattle with one common, shared tie. They supported Liverpool FC and were there to watch the semi-final of the FA Cup.

Hillsborough is the name of Sheffield Wednesday's historic football ground but after April 15th 1989, it became associated with a terrible event that ruined lives and brought the football world to a standstill.

Liverpool played Forest for a place in the final. Back then many football grounds had fences up, stopping supporters from reaching the pitch. A huge over-reaction to combat a few pitch invasions that had taken place. Hillsborough was no different. The result of such fencing basically creates a contained pen were supporters watched as if they were livestock, herded in and out.

Basically the Leppings Lane away section at Hillsborough held 2,000 people and 3,000 wanted to come in. Many of those extra people had fake tickets. The Police failed in their operation to control the fans and opened a gate allowing a surge of people to come in, head down a small tunnel to pens behind the goal. They just kept coming. By the time kick-off came, people were fighting for breath and crushed against each other with no escape.

Five minutes after kick-off a policeman ran onto the pitch and the game was stopped. What happened next will never leave the memories of anyone who watched TV for the rest of the day, let alone those at the game. A barrier between pens collapsed and the area behind the goal became a pile of people. Climbing over each other in attempts to escape. The people who had arrived early were crushed at the front. People lay dead on the pitch. Others were pulled to safety by supporters in the upper tier. The fear on the faces of those against the fences was haunting.

96 people, many of whom were children, lost their lives. The advertising hoardings became stretchers and the pitch the emergency room. The rescue effort was hampered by bad co-ordination and fire fighters/ambulance crews being unable to get access to the inside of the ground.

We'd been looking forward to a great game of football and now we were gasping for breath and grasping for survival. As we know, dozens of us were unsuccessful. One of those people may have been a man who, I'm guessing, was in his 60s. I spent half an hour pushed up against him with he in turn wedged against a crush bar. I never saw his face. I had my back to him throughout. But I'm haunted by his voice. He was pleading with me to give him space to allow him to breathe. He was screaming in agony telling me he was suffering a heart attack. - Survivor Mark Edwardson

A detailed summary of events can be found here and the stories of those there that day here.

An inquiry failed to really blame anyone for the disaster but it was clear that a lack of policing intelligence caused the crush when gate c was opened to relieve the congestion building outside of the ground. The inquiry found that the area behind the goal was only safe for 1600 people and not the 2200 who had tickets nor the 3000 trying to get in. Afterward, many stories of previous semi-finals there emerged along with complaints about crushing and over crowding to the FA.

Back in those days the semi-finals were both played at the same time. While the events of Hillsborough were unfolding, Norwich were at Villa Park playing Everton. But for one draw of the ball from the hat, I could so easily be talking about members of my family today.

Soon after the tragedy, all fences were removed and stadiums required to be all-seater. Little consolation for the surviving who had to deal with the loss of friends and the stress that came afterward. Many needed counseling and could not sleep or work with the sounds and images of the day that would be with them for ever.

For many, twenty years ago today at 10am Eastern time marks the day that football died. A day out to see their team became a living nightmare that ruined the lives of so many. The game we love so much and the focus of this website became painful memories and heartache to hundreds of family members who lost sons and daughters to a tragic event that should have been prevented.

As you go about your business today, and prepare to watch this afternoons Champions League matches, just spare a thought for the survivors and family members, who for many no longer have football to enjoy. Today they will all be remembered.

-Bigus

LB remembers it too, like it was yesterday. His thoughts to follow later today.

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Autoglass speaks...

The busy Blues fan, Autoglass, took time out from his hectic gloating schedule to pen this missive from the road...

I’ve been traveling far too much lately. This week I found myself in Tampa when my beloved Chelsea came upon a critical Champions League tie at Anfield. Liverpool in the Champions League has become an April ritual. Those Blue and Red shirts are the crocuses of Spring. After the break, you get Autoglass’ Tampa travelogue.

I lived in New York for ten years. There, a Champions League session was two blocks away. Out and back in a scoot. There are twenty good football pubs in New York. Always one a short hop away. It spoils a guy.

I then moved to California. Still, options. More driving, but I watched John Terry cry not three miles from my office.

But I’m in Tampa this week and Chelsea visit Liverpool for a Champions League Quarter-Final. First, I needed to find a decent pub. That was easy. There is apparently exactly one. MacDinton’s is the clear choice. No disrespect to Tampa, but there is no second or third choice. If you’re in Tampa and any important match is at stake, just go to MacDinton’s.

By some miracle, my Wednesday afternoon was free work-wise. I cleared the time of any incursion, and made tracks for MacDinton’s. But late. I couldn’t get on the road until match time. I called Lingering Bursitis.

". Mate, you need to talk me in! I’m 15 mins from the pub!"

", I’ve got you covered."

We hang up. Not two minutes later, I’m on I-4 in Tampa and the phone rings…

"Fernando Torres, Liverpool’s number 9!" The bastard sings. Fuck. We’re behind and I’m not even there! Fuck! I know this movie. Liverpool rampant. Our season in tatters. Me at a strange footie pub pissing in my Guinness.

I make my way to MacDinton’s. Nice place in Tampa’s SoHo neighborhood (South Howard Avenue. Lame. But then, all such NoMaSoFoMoFu things are lame, even in New York.) They have free valet parking! And two outside bars with plenty of screens, pretty raven-haired Irish barmaids, and Florida sunshine. I settle in.

Outside sports bars. If you’ve been, you know. If you haven’t…it’s better than you are thinking. You really need to move somewhere warm…but you know that already, right?

Anyhoo, I settle into a lovely crowd. Red, Blue and hangers-on for Arsenal, United and, yes, Nottingham Forest... all in Tampa. (Bigus, the Forest dude convinced me that you are going down. I argued gamely for our Canaries. Up the City!)

At first, the lack of bile was unsettling. What is this Chelsea shirt doing chatting up this group of faux Scouse losers? Laughing? Enjoying the sunshine? Without trash talk and the ever-present electric risk of Glasgow kisses? Toto, we’re not in New York anymore.

Then, the match. Chelsea won going away. Rafa’s zonal marking left our Serb reserve fullback utterly unmarked for our equalizer AND our winner. Drogba then put in our third...the THIRD! (A third goal away in a Champions League tie is a heady thing, indeed) At Anfield. Hiddink ran out a 4-3-3 and ran at the Red back line. Liverpool were not up for it.

I wouldn’t have predicted it. Chelsea have been solid, but Liverpool have been the in-form side in Europe. My only hope was that Liverpool would return to Earth in this fixture. Oh, did they. They missed Mascherano massively. Essien utterly took Gerrard out of the match. Chelsea came forward in numbers. Ballack was majestic. Lampard, Kalou and, yes, Malouda were free in space and connecting.

Spring football can be a fickle mistress. Your club fights through the winter and find themselves, still, in 2 or 4 competitions. You’ve had your run and survived, sometimes even romped. But now, everything is running down to the quick. You come upon a bad run or injuries and - boom! - 7 or 10 days can take you out of everything. We’ve all been there. Hell, Arsenal has LIVED there these last five years.

Well, Liverpool woke up before this match right in the thick of the Champions League and in with a shout for the League. In 90 minutes, at home, they about crashed out of the CL and are left looking somehow farther up at United in the League. Devastating.

The best teams in Europe play 60 some-odd fixtures a year, and that’s beside their players’ international duty. Work, work, work, and then bad luck or bad form runs you out of everything in a sneeze. Brutal. Imagine the 2007 Patriots ruining three trophies with losses to three Giants. Ouch. Yet it happens every year in soccer.

MacDinton’s is a fantastic football pub. If you are in Tampa, look it up. Great crowd, velvety Guinness, and sunshine. Oh, and Chelsea won 3-1 at Anfield! Stevie G wandered by at the end looking for his pants! Carefree!!!!

Postscript: My favorite moment was meeting an Arsenal supporter wearing one of those “Kings of London” shirts. I got to say “That’s a really old shirt, isn’t it?” Get in.

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CL Open Thread

The previews are below and the football is up ahead. Just a quarter-hour until Champions League (Chaaaaaahhhhhmpions!!!) glory is unleashed on the planet. And then there's the Liverpool-Chelsea game, which also begins in 15 mins.

Details after the leap...


Chelsea v. Liverpool on ESPN2 and ESPN2HD

Barcelona v. Bayern Munich on Setanta and Setanta Broadband (NO re-broadcast on ESPN Classic. Stupid F%^7ckin' Masters.)

Lineups:

at Anfield:

Liverpool: Reina, Arbeloa, Aurelio, Carragher, Skrtel (in the Riise role?), Xabi Alonso, Lucas, Kuyt (aka the Dutch Wayne Rooney), Riera, The Talismanic Steven Gerrard, Torres.
Subs: Cavalieri, Dossena, Hyypia, Agger, Benayoun, Babel, Ngog.

Chelsea: Cech, Ivanovic, Cole, Terry, Alex, Essien, Lampard, Ballack, Kalou, Malouda (hahahaha), Drogba.
Subs: Hilario, Carvalho, Belletti, Mancienne, Mikel, Deco, Anelka.

at the Nou Camp:

Barcelona: Victor Valdes, Dani Alves, Puyol, Marquez, Pique, Toure, Xavi, Iniesta, Messi, Henry, Eto'o.
Subs: Pinto, Caceres, Gudjohnsen, Bojan, Keita, Sylvinho, Busquets.

Bayern Munich: Butt, Breno, Ze Roberto, Demichelis, Altintop, Van Bommel, Oddo, Lell, Schweinsteiger, Ribery, Toni.
Subs: Rensing, Podolski, Ottl, Sosa, Lahm, Borowski, Badstuber.

Fearless predictions: Altintop will score a goal. Barca will win, but not by enough to moot the second leg... There will be two goals scored in the Pool-Chelsea game, either one for each or both for Los Rojos.

Enjoy!


***Halftime Update***

for you Johnny and Jenny-come-latelies...

Barcelona 4, Bayern 0

Goals: Messi 9, 38; Eto'o 12, Henry 43
Yellow cards: Messi 17
Red cards: None


Liverpool 1, Chelsea 1

Goals: Torres 6; Ivanovic 39
Yellow cards: Kalou 31
Red cards: None

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CL Quarterfinals Preview: Liverpool v. Chelsea

Yossi and the Crying Baby, by Bigus Dickus. Mixed Media, 2009.

For the fifth year running, Liverpool and Chelshea clash in the Champions League. Their meetings are becoming so commonplace that the fixture computer should just keep it going every year so as not to confuse anyone.

LFC had the run of the Blues for a while, but last year, the tide turned thanks to a first-leg gaffe at Anfield by that ginger nut John Arne Riise. This season, the first leg is at Anfield again, which prompts the question: who's winning this f*cking thing anyway?

With both teams in scintillating form, it's a tough one to call. Liverpool are blazing at the moment, playing with an attacking force and confidence that I haven't seen from 'em since the late 90s when the Fowler/Owen/McManaman show cast a spell over the Kop. Goals from all positions, sparked by the telepathy of Gerrard and Torres, and a thankful end to the miserable, cagey 1-0 squeakers that have defined the Rafa Benitez era.

Meanwhile, the Blues are finding their legs again too after seeing home form slump over Christmas. The prolonged absense of Joe Cole continues to be a problem, but there's enough dynamism in the midfield to give Drogba and Anelka all the chances they need.

I'm not looking forward to it, personally, but I am just too dazzled by my Reds to imagine any result other than a home win. Whatever the lads are siphoning into their Lucozade, it's clearly working. Maybe we'll get some of that Yiddish power from a still-not-100% Yossi Benayoun, but with him or not, I still fancy a 2-1 at home to keep things ticking along nicely.

The EPL is another story entirely. I pray for attacking football from both sides, and none of this shaky, tactical rubbish that normally plagues these fixtures.

We're about due for some more Terry tears.

Early Team News:
Mascherano misses the 1st leg through suspension, but everyone else besides Benayoun seems to be fighting fit.

Chelsea are without Bosingwa with hamstring-knack.

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Liam Neeson--Scouser

Spotted today at Craven Cottage.



via ONTD.

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Quick Throw: Hicks Defaults on Loans

Developing... Conflicting reports indicate Liverpool co-owner Tom Hicks may have defaulted on some of the loans secured by his sports franchises. It is not clear whether these are loans secured by Hicks' interest in Liverpool FC. Hicks denies the default or at least that the banks may soon own the clubs.

All of this may explain the earlier reports that Hicks was seeking buyers for a minority interest in the Texas Rangers baseball team he owns.

UPDATE: This report indicates the loans where an interest payment has not been paid are not connected to Liverpool FC. It is also said that Hicks is attempting to renegotiate terms on these non-Liverpool loans. This does not mean it does not affect Hicks' financing of the Liverpool debt as the debt still needs to be serviced and a default could crimp his cash flow. I really wish I knew what I was talking about.

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Agger To Do A Liverpool Tattoo?

Daniel Agger is offering to tattoo all of his mates if Liverpool win the Premier League. "What an offer" you say. A footballer wielding a needle filled with ink. "I'm in!" Carragher will scream. "Yes please". Actually I am sure it will be alright, Agger is a trained tattoo artist. Gerrard and Torres need not worry I suspect. I can't see Liverpool winning this season.

Some UFer's reckon this story is a subtle April fool, but after the jump, pictures of Agger in tattoo action. Would be a crap April fool considering the guy is a trained tattoo artist. You decide.




And there...What do you think?


Yeah Daniel, I just see a pool of blood mate.

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