Thursday, December 18, 2008

Pass The Crack Mike


Newcastle's want away owner Mike Ashley reckons that interim manager Joe Kinnear is better than Fabio Capello. Wow, that's a bold statement, lets take a look at the two gentlemen in question and see how he came to that conclusion.

So first off I can see why Mr Ashley rates Kinnear. He has done a pretty good job at Newcastle thus far. He has helped them out the relegation zone, they have stopped leaking goals and they are picking up the points and heading in the right direction. This could just be a honeymoon period that any new manager could have achieved or maybe Kinnear is just that good. Either way, to call him 'better' than Fabio Capello takes more than some balls, it takes a large amount of crack and about 10 pints of Special Brew.

Let's compare the two.

Fabio Capello. 62 years old. Current job: England manager.

Last 4 results: Croatia 1 England 4, England 5 Kazakhstan 1, Belarus 1 England 3, Germany 1 England 2.

Honors as manager.

Seria A: 5 titles with AC Milan and Roma.

La Liga: 2 titles with Real Madrid.

4 Italian Super Cups, the European Super Cup and the Champions League.

Joe Kinnear. 61 years old. Current job: Newcastle interim manager.

Last 4 results: Chelsea 0 Newcastle 0, Middlesbrough 0 Newcastle 0, Newcastle 2 Stoke 2, Portsmouth 0 Newcastle 3.

Honors as manager.

Oh...There actually aren't any. Not one. Nada! Nichts! Ugh..This is a little embarrassing, I thought there might be something? Alas no. Nyet!

So as you can see, crack cocaine and copious amounts of booze are required to compare Joe Kinnear to Fabio Capello. Unless of course you are Mike Ashley, and then the reason is that you are a fat doofus who knows about as much about football as Clive Woodward.

-Bigus.

5 comments:

The Fan's Attic said...

Mike Ashley is the fattest crackhead I have ever seen.

The Fan's Attic said...

and his ladyfriend in the pic i think would be one of the better looking crack whores ever.

ΓΌ75 said...

I think Kinnear has the full job now.

Andrew said...

Even Bubbles feels Mike is off-base with that comparison.

Off-base, yeah? Yeah?

jjf3 said...

has any picture ever screamed "I'm laughing my ass off because you have millions and millions of dollars!" more than this one (other than maybe any taken at a bar during his NYC trip)?