Pass The Crack Mike

Newcastle's want away owner Mike Ashley reckons that interim manager Joe Kinnear is better than Fabio Capello. Wow, that's a bold statement, lets take a look at the two gentlemen in question and see how he came to that conclusion.

So first off I can see why Mr Ashley rates Kinnear. He has done a pretty good job at Newcastle thus far. He has helped them out the relegation zone, they have stopped leaking goals and they are picking up the points and heading in the right direction. This could just be a honeymoon period that any new manager could have achieved or maybe Kinnear is just that good. Either way, to call him 'better' than Fabio Capello takes more than some balls, it takes a large amount of crack and about 10 pints of Special Brew.

Let's compare the two.

Fabio Capello. 62 years old. Current job: England manager.

Last 4 results: Croatia 1 England 4, England 5 Kazakhstan 1, Belarus 1 England 3, Germany 1 England 2.

Honors as manager.

Seria A: 5 titles with AC Milan and Roma.

La Liga: 2 titles with Real Madrid.

4 Italian Super Cups, the European Super Cup and the Champions League.

Joe Kinnear. 61 years old. Current job: Newcastle interim manager.

Last 4 results: Chelsea 0 Newcastle 0, Middlesbrough 0 Newcastle 0, Newcastle 2 Stoke 2, Portsmouth 0 Newcastle 3.

Honors as manager.

Oh...There actually aren't any. Not one. Nada! Nichts! Ugh..This is a little embarrassing, I thought there might be something? Alas no. Nyet!

So as you can see, crack cocaine and copious amounts of booze are required to compare Joe Kinnear to Fabio Capello. Unless of course you are Mike Ashley, and then the reason is that you are a fat doofus who knows about as much about football as Clive Woodward.

-Bigus.