Monday, January 21, 2008

Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time

See that? That's Satan.

Sometime about 21:30 GMT on May 25, 2005, Liverpool walked into their Ataturk Stadium locker room in Istanbul to see that guy lounging in the corner casually smoking a Nat Sherman.

Basically, our friend the Dark Lord here said that he could assure the Reds a victory with what remained of their match against Milan, and it wouldn't even cost them anything that day. All compensation would be taken out of future earnings.

Great. The Scousers all signed up. And, holy shit, the Miracle of Istanbul was miraclized.

So fast forward two years to Olympic Stadium in Athens, and Liverpool had to feel that they got a fair deal when Milan won a far less exciting rematch by a 2-1 tally. "Okay, so we entered a pact with Satan, and we ended up batting .500 in a couple of Champions League finals. We'll take that any day and twice on Sundays." That was the collective wisdom of everyone in a Liverpool kit.

But, oh. How wrong. The '07 final wasn't payback. Mephistopheles was an uninterested observer that day. Nope, Satan is now extracting payment on the '05 deal week by week, point by point, and is slowly raping the collective lifeforce at Anfield.

There is no other explanation.

Liverpool held about 2/3 of the possession, outshot Villa about what looked like 31-2, yet they still needed a strike by Peter Crouch 2 minutes from time today JUST TO EQUALIZE! And Liverpool is, for the moment, out a of Champions League spot. Insult meet injury. Crosstown rival Everton currently hold the fourth spot in the Prem.

Satan is kind of a dick. So this might not be ending anytime soon.

He also might be fucking with UF as its majority shareholders are Scousers (present company excluded) and we had our worst week prognosticating, or whatever it is that we are doing pulling numbers out of a hat.

Crytal Soccer Balls

Man City 1-1 West Ham
Wigan 1-2 Everton
Birmingham City 0-1 Chelsea
Tottenham 2-0 Sunderland


Portsmouth 4-1 Derby (3-1)
Fulham 1-3 Arsenal (0-3)

Close But Not Really

Newcastle 1-0 Bolton (0-0)

This Would Have Made More Sense

Liverpool 2-1 Villa (2-2)
Blackburn 2-1 Boro (1-1)

If I Could Make a Deal with Satan

Reading 4-2 Man U (0-2)


JT said...

It pains me greatly that the "Kicking Scousers when they are down" tag is rapidly becoming the most used at UF.

I long for the day when I can pull out a "Kicking Gooners when they are down" tag.

Until then, I lament.

The NY Kid said...

Silly man, we would have to actually be down first for that tag to apply.