Yeah, Been Slacking A Couple of Weeks

See this?

I still can't get my head around that. Chelsea is just three points back. And they play United this weekend. Not only that, the game is at the Bridge where the Blues haven't lost since, I don't know, since like the Cubs were last in the World Series or people used rotary phones.

It is astounding. Haven't they been dreadful? Hasn't Grant managed to manage them down to the level of their opponent week after eye-bleedingly awful week? But there they are. It's like that night you spent the whole time chatting up the hot chick at the party and then right as she is about to give you her number, an ex pops in to the shindig, and, after a 90 second exchange, whisks her home. Only this is worse because it's Chelsea, and there is no EPL (suck it, Barclay's) equivalent of masturbation to placate the epic failure.

The only consolation is that, even if Chelsea can get the win, they will be so far behind on goal differential, they will need another United slip while they face off against a shockingly quasi-competent Newcastle and still utterly useless Bolton. Even then, handing United a championship is no consolation (not here at UF anyways).

How is this possible? I have no answer. But Avram Grant's good fortune has me toying with the idea of returning to religion. And that can't be good for anyone.

Frankly this season has turned out to be sheer torture. My beloved Gunners might have been the best team in the Prem this season and will have nothing to show for it, not even likely the auto-Champions League qualification. Meanwhile the two teams I hate most are having a go at each other for the title. The only thing I can hope for is that both teams so utterly destroy themselves and each other that they both crash out of the CL next week. Ugh.

Of course Fergie is already complaining about that 'unfair' scheduling. Pussy. Somebody should knee him in the nuts.

Oh, wait...

Here's ten pairs of numbers.

0-0
2-0
4-2
1-0
0-1
1-1
0-2
2-2
0-0
0-4 (I'll call this as Arsenal at Pride Park and Theo with a hatty).

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You sure that's a.m.? Really?

Well, the fine folks at the EPL (suck it, Barclay's) are really putting our devotion to the test. Kick time for me tomorrow is 6-fucking-30 in the am (my time, anyway).

Thank god the FA Cup semi isn't more compelling, I mean, I'm totally psyched that the match-ups feature a final four that absolutely nobody had in their office pool (they do office pools for this shit in England, don't they*) but I'm not getting to the bar 15 minutes earlier and paying $20 for it. The final, maybe, but really, if it didn't say "FA Cup Semi" in front of it, I'm pretty sure there aren't more that 83 people on the planet in the US that would pay to watch West Brom and Portsmouth.

But since leaving Tottenham, I've taken a liking to Jermain Defoe. Perhaps because I got him for like 5 points in fantasy, and he's been a goal scoring machine [Note to Ramos: Ha ha ha ha. You paid what for Bent when you had that on your bench? You idiot.]

Anyway, as for round 2 of the troika this week... I can totally see a draw. In fact I can see two more draws, including a 0-0 affair midweek at Anfield. Meaning Arsenal would have played even on the scoresheet and have but one measly league point to show for it. That would be apropos of this season.

So, I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. What of it? It's a preemptive "Fuck." Although there's the possibility of the karmic leveling for the non-call on Hleb.

Anyway, without checking I'm positive we got 5 right this week (it's late, and really nobody is actually paying attention for anything more than amusement purposes) and I'm pretty sure five of these will be right.

0-0
1-1
1-0
0-0
2-2
2-0
0-1
3-1
1-1
0-1


(*Yes, I know they redraw for each round so that you can't do a bracket. Don't get your knickers in a twist.)it.

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The Best Things In Life Are Free.... Except Depth

An Open Letter to Arsene Wenger:

Spend some fucking money you French twit.

Sincerely,
A good portion of the UF'ers.

Okay, it's a bit short and lacking in a certain eloquence, but it makes its point.

A lack of quality depth is killing the Gunners. Really, aren't they ahead of schedule to pay off the bonds used to finance the Emirates? I'm sure the shareholders derive immense pleasure from wiping their collective asses with £50 notes but the players on the pitch are spent, the backline will have to be patched together again with Sagna out and well, none of that really even matters because you've already crapped out a 5 point lead and have flushed away any chance of winning the Prem.

Unless those same listless players have a CL run in them, that's four years and zero trophies. I'd cry but, well, soccer doesn't make me cry. Only the ending to Cinema Paradiso makes me cry.

There, I've said too much about myself. Are you happy now, Arsene? Look what you've done.

Maybe if we get more than five right this week, it'll assuage my anger. But probably not.

0-0
4-2
3-1
0-1
0-2
3-0
2-2
2-1
1-1
1-0

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And Suddenly My Weekend Mornings Are Much Freer

Really, after shitting the bed and blowing a 3-1 midweek lead against Tottenham, Didier Drogba decides to show up and John Terry decides to shut up and Arsenal get fucked. Or maybe they fucked themselves.

See that grave? That's the one the Jesus crawled out of on Sunday and Arsenal decided to crawl straight into.

Wouldn't want it to get cold.

And I can't believe I'm typing these words but Avram Grant actually out managed Arsene Wenger. Or maybe it was as one of the guys on Fox Football Fone-In put it, Grant had simply run out of ways to screw things up so he had no choice but to finally make the right decisions.

I'm going to have nightmares of that second goal for a while. The entire sequence. First the hand ball that gave the Blues the free kick could have just as easily not been called. The ball was rolled a good 10 yards up the pitch from the spot of the foul for the kick. There was a fortunate glancing bounce in the box for the ball to land at Drogba's feet.

Then—THEN—depsite all of that, Almunia gets his hands on the ball but he just Noonans the save. 2-1. Game. Set. Prem.

Maybe I could get an Eternal Sunshine treatment and just erase any memory of the last, oh, month of football. So much for being 5 points clear. Well, on the upside things are about to get fun around these parts with the 3 Liverpool v. Arsenal fixtures looming imminent.

Oh, and like every other week. We got five of our predictions right. You want a prediction you can bank on? We predict that we'll get five right again next week.

Right
-----
Boro 1-0 Derby
Tottenham 2-0 Portsmouth
Chelsea 2-1 Arsenal
Villa 0-1 Sunderland
Bolton 0-0 Man City

Less right
-----
Blackburn 3-2 Wigan (3-1)
Everton 0-1 West Ham (1-1)
Reading 2-2 Birmingham (2-1)?

Shut your fucking mouth Mascherano
-----
Man U 0-2 Liverpool (3-1)
Newcastle 0-1 Fulham (2-0)

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I'm Not Sure I'll Be Able to Stomach Watching

Dear Baby Jesus
Help Grant field a shite Blues side
The Gunners need points

Okay, so it's not exactly the most eloquent haiku, and aren't most Japanese Shintoists to begin with? So I'm not sure the form of the plea will even please the Baby Jesus, but I'm completely at my wits fucking end.

Four straight draws in four winnable matches dating back to the Eduardo injury. Adebayor hasn't done dick since his new haircut. And while poor officiating seems to be a staple of this EPL, the refs certainly haven't erred in the favor of Arsenal as of late. And shit if somehow Chelski isn't able to pull into second place with a win at Stamford Bridge where they haven't lost since, well, since Jesus last roamed the planet.

So hopefully the overmatched Grant will again field a side without Joe Cole and Michael Ballack. Maybe he'll experiment with a revolutionary 4-6-0. I don't know and I don't care how it happens. I just want more than anything, even World fucking Peace, for the Gunners to break the Blues home winning streak not for the sake of ending the streak but because without the three points, the Gunners are dead in the EPL title chase.

Of course the thing I want second most in the world is a Liverpool win. Although I shouldn't say that lest the folks around here get the wrong idea. Still, I'm totally okay if Torres justifies my love man crush.

Here's what happens this weekend.

1-0
0-1
0-1
0-0
3-2 (This might be a Jermaine Defoe hatty Ed. Note: Defoe can't play against Spurs due to an arcane new EPL rule.)
2-0
0-2
2-1
2-2
0-1

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Is There Such a Thing as a £25M Bargain?

See that guy?

That's Fernando Torres. You probably know that if you read this site, but he's really fucking good at soccer. You probably know that, too.

On February 23rd he scored his first League hat trick for Liverpool, then just 11 days later against West Ham, he did it again. And in a sport where a 1-0 result is pretty commonplace, that is just fucking ridiculous.

Evan Stone doesn't score that often.

So God help the Newcastle defense. I mean, sure the first hatty was against 'Boro, but the second one, well, West Ham had been playing pretty well and Robert Green had been maybe one of the 4 or 5 best keepers in the EPL for the first half of the season.

So El Niño, I tip my sombrero to you and your pie. And in honor of your recent badassness we will predict a ridiculous numero for this week's fixtures.

Just a quick note, we actually bothered to check last week's numbers against the results, and even padding with a couple of extra scores, we still couldn't break more than 5 right. Plus, with six sides scoring 3 or better, we totally low-balled it so badly we were barely even close on the rest.

We suck. But at least we're honest enough to admit it.

Here's a peek into this week's crystal soccer ball.

1-1
3-0
2-2
2-0
5-1
0-0
1-2
0-3
2-2

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Traveling: The Titus Bramble of Blogging

I'm on the rag road. True to form, I draw the one person on the flight who needs the seatbelt extension as a neighbor, then my rental car company downgrades me because they are out of cars. Now, I'm borrowing time on a friend's computer with one of those split ergonomic keyboards and it has taken me 37 minutes to write these three sentences.

At least it's fucking sunny and warm where I am.

Anyway, I'm running late for the rehearsal dinner and none of this has anything to do with football, but they're gonna play games tomorrow no matter where the fuck I am, so I am going to live up to my voluntary responsibilities, goddammit!

I think there are a couple of midweek games. I know there is at least one as I rearranged my fantasy line-up to include Captain Collar-Pop. Seeing how much guff I've given the Scousers around here, I'm pretty sure this ends poorly. I think Chelski might also have a midweeky, but I'm not sure. So I'm just going to cushion the number of "predictions" this week and I'll look like a genius come Wednesday.

0-0
2-1
1-1
1-2
3-2
2-2
1-1
0-1
1-0
0-0
0-2
1-2
4-1 (*The Mancs are on fire)

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'Petrov' Must Be Bulgarian for 'Watch Me Fuck Shit Up'

My hatred has a touch of whimsy today. With that in mind, I give you the following haiku:

Stoppage time. Red Card.
You wrecked my fantasy week
Martin Petrov: Dick.

Sometimes it is about me. Okay he didn't wreck my week, but if not for that Red Card I am weekly high point person in my 50-team fantasy league for the first time all season. Newman! Or rather: Martin!

Hey, two Martins fucking my footballing week. Wonder what it means... besides nothing.

With that... the whores!

Oops, I mean... the scores!

Carling Cup Final
We totally nailed this one
Spurs win it. 2 - 1.

No, I'm not going to do all nine other fixtures 5-7-5 style, but if you've got something to say feel free to haiku it in the comments. Let's rock the rest of the scores (oh God, I can't believe I actually said that).

Damn. Only 4 right?
Birmingham 2-2 Arsenal*
Fulham 0-1 West Ham
Liverpool 3-2 'Boro
Portsmouth 1-0 Sunderland

This is kinda close to right
Reading 1-2 Villa (2-2)

Just Gawdawful here
Newcastle 0-3 United (1-5)
Blackburn 1-1 Bolton (4-1)
Man City 0-2 Everton (1-1)
Wigan 0-0 Derby (Does it really matter what the actual score was?)

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Wearing Those Colors in South Central Will Get You Shot

There's a Championship this weekend.

The FA Cup? Nope. The Premiership? uh-uh. The Champions League? No, sorry.

And damn Hirshey for beating us to "The Sippy Cup."

No, it's the Carling Cup and it features a Chelsea team that has played maybe two quality opponents in the past two months (and are 0-1-1 in those matches) versus the cock and balls (aka Tottenham).

Word on the street (and by 'street' I mean a few blogs) is that Spurs fans are paying around £600 for tickets whereas similar seats in Chelsea sections are going for £200.

That tells me one thing.

Jesus, people are willing to pay a lot of money for a largely meaningless match.

I guess if you haven't won anything of note since, what, the '91 FA Cup (and I'm not going to go look it up because A) I'm not allowing Tottenham to take up more of my time and B) this is a blog and, as such, almost encourages lazy journalism) then you get a little desperate.

If you barrack for Spurs, that's probably a nice looking hooker you could get for £600 instead. At least then, you'd know what it's like to score. Although 'nice looking' and 'hooker' might be mutually exclusive in England.


This week's fixtures from on-high:

0-0
0-1
3-2
2-2
2-2
1-1
1-0
0-3
1-1


Bonus League Cup score. Take it to Vegas...

2-1

...and see if they even give a shit about this match.

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I Think I Got A Straight Six

Yes, Er's sexual innuendo is priceless, but not as priceless as our clairvoyance.

Without checking, I'm going to proclaim this the best week ever. You'd think this would be easy, right? Just pair up a couple of low numbers—lots of 1's and 0's with the odd 2's and 3's and you should get most results.

Eh, it doesn't work that way.

Well it does, but for some arbitrary reason we've made order count here at UF. So the first number we list, that's gotta be the home team's total. No switching as this ain't a game for swingers (but if you want to throw up on someone who's not your wife, knock yourself out, Cashley).

Point being, we've never bested 5 right before this week, and with the ridiculously improbable 4-1 (well, not that ridiculous *cough*Keegan*cough*) we lined up 6.

The downside is that we weren't really close on the other four. We had three draws, which we can't pair with three losses (or wins depending). And the only remaining game with a winner—excuse me: WITH A WINNER WHO IS NOW FIVE POINTS CLEAR AT THE TOP OF THE TABLE—didn't come close to matching the remaining available tally of 5-2.

Oops.


Yipee!

Villa 4-1 Newcastle
Bolton 0-1 Portsmouth
Sunderland 2-0 Wigan
West Ham 1-1 Birmingham
Chelsea 0-0 Liverpool
Derby 0-3 Tottenham

Skipee

Arsenal 2 - 0 Blackburn (5-2)

Citeh 2 -1 United (1-1)

Everton 1 -0 Reading (3-3)
'Boro 1-0 Fulham (2-2)


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I Realize This Sounds Like I'm Whinging

I'm sure there is all kinds of hand wringing going on at Anfield. Yep, Rafa, bummer to lose your best player ahead of maybe the biggest match of the season. Sorry those mid-season friendlies only seem to adversely effect your squad. But in the interest of equal time, let's look at the body count at Arsenal.

Rosicky is out.
Flamini left the France A game against Congo with "stiffness."
Senderos suffered an MCL injury against Engerland
Almunia first had a finger injury. Now he's got a virus. He's out (And Jens had a massive blunder in Germany's win over Austria).
Denilson has a hammy.
Abou Diaby was injured at Citeh last week.
Toure and Eboue are both in Ghana for the 3rd place Cup of Nations game.
Van Persie is well on target to miss half a season for the 2nd straight campaign.

I count nine.

That and the Gunners host Blackburn, maybe the most physical team in the EPL, a style Arsenal has difficulty with. Injuries are part of the game, and having depth is a sign of a well managed organization, but Arsenal has been patching together a backline for the better part of a month. And they have a BRUTAL 10 days ahead of them (Rovers, a healthy United squad, and Milan who are going to have Pato and Kaka back).

So, yeah, Reds, sorry to hear about your shoes—no really, I am as I desperately want you to beat the crap out of Chelsea—it's just that my rooting interest is about to take the pitch having lost 18 feet.

Not saying. Just saying.

Here are this weekends scores.

5-2
1-1
1-1
0-1
0-0
4-1
3-3
2-2
2-0
0-3

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The Latest And Longest Weekend Review Ever

See that. That's a guy in a Chrisitano Ronaldo jersey. Obviously. What you probably can't tell from the shitty phone pic is that he's wearing a Boston Red Sox hat. Look at the size adjuster on the back, if that were at all legible, you'd see there are indeed two little red socks stitched into the tab.

Is there any clearer way to announce to the world that you are a frontrunning douchebag than to couple your man love for the pink-wearing Portugese national with a wikked retahded hat?

Anyway, that guy sat quietly next to me for 94 minutes during the Spurs v. Man U match on Saturday morning. And we did not say word one to each other. Nope, not a word. I knew nothing about him. And he knew nothing about me. He probably thought I was a Spurs fan because, well, I was pulling for Spurs.

This is not something I would normally do. In fact, that roughly two hour span was like maybe chemically engineering New Years a little too much and ending up in a BBGG foursome. You probably know you are going to feel creeped and weirded out when you wake up the next morning and realize that you were that close to another naked and aroused man, but hey, there's also two naked chicks there, so, eh, what the hell.

Not that I would have any idea what that's like at all. No way.

But there I was, parked at the bar at Ginger's and pulling for Tottenham. Why? Well, Arsenal had already handed SGE and Manchester Citeh their first home defeat of the season, so a Man U loss would leave the Gunners three points clear.

And, shit, I think I'd consider voting Republican if it meant Arsenal winning the Prem this year. All I had to do was hate Spurs a little less than I hate the Mancs for 90-plus minutes. No problem. And so it was, Berbatov deservedly put Tottenham up 1-0. And I had Mr. Hat to my left, oh, and another obnoxious Red Devil to my right.

The irony being the dude on my right, with every touch, every whistle, every call, and every non-call... "Fuh, fuckssake." "Ah wot the fuck?" The whole match long. Mr. I've Got A Ronaldo Kit? Not a peep.

The morning only got better when the man who was a Spur not 48 hours before, Jermain Defoe, leveled Portsmouth with Chleasa. Do I dare dream the near-perfect morning? There's nothing schade about schadenfruede when it involves Chelsea and Man U giving up points at the same time.

Three minutes of stoppage time were added and at 94:00 on the clock, United lined up for a corner. The only person close to marking Carlos Tevez was also wearing a red jersey and on the match's final strike United leveled.

Goddamit. Tottenham can't even defend a corner. Dicks.

But the Tevez goal sent my leftorium denizen into a rapturesque series of shouts.

At first I thought he was screaming: "Kitson, Kitson..." Which would have been really fucking peculiar because Dave Kitson plays for Reading.

After about a half dozen shouts in, I realized Ronaldo Red Sox didn't have Tourette's and was saying "Get some."

I've been a sports fan my entire life. I've been to a Final Four, a World Series, a World Cup, two college Football National Championship games, and a myriad of other non-championship events. Never have I ever heard anyone say anything as patently stupid and meaningless as "Get some" in celebration.

But that wasn't even the best part. Amidst the barrage of "get some" after "get some" he turned to me and shouted, "Fuck you."

Whoa, slow down there, chief, all I had done was pull for Spurs. And even that was slightly painful for me, so it was pretty muted. Apparently pulling for anyone besides the Mancs is worth a big fat "fuck you" to a Red Devil.

Anyway, what's the lesson in all of this?

Sometimes people are exactly what they seem. I took the phone pic of the dickweed's shirt and hat about halftime. Then I actually felt a little guilty for being so judgmental about someone I had never even spoken to. Turns out, when you wear a Ronaldo jersey and a BoSox hat you are wearing your entire personality on your sleeve (and head). At the 94th minute I felt more stupidity than guilt.

And the guy on my right? Save for his impartial observations, he seemed pretty cool. Turns out he was. We had a little chat after the match. He said "Well played." I said "I'm not a Spurs fan" and we exchanged some mutual respect for how good our respective rooting interests are.

Yep, sometimes your prejudices are 100% correct.

There's also a fun addendum to the story. What Mr. Dickhead McDouchetool doesn't know is that he also sat next to me when the Gunners pulled even at the death to salvage a draw at the Emirates the first time United and Arsenal squared off this season. And Saturday, with him next to me, United gave up two points on a draw at White Heart Lane. So every time you sit next to me, dude, the Red Devils draw. I'll take having your front-running, stupid-expression-shouting, get-up-earlier-and-shower-next-time ass sit next to me every day and twice on Sundays; and you can scream "Kit-son" all you like because the end result is 2 points less for United.

Oh, and fuck you Keane. You were alone in on Van Der Saar with space and time and you chipped it right at him.

Anyway, less turned out to be more and we were right, there was less scoring. Both for me and the teams in the Prem.

Kitson!
Blackburn 0 - 0 Everton
Tottenham 1 - 1 United
Fulham 2 -1 Aston Villa
Wigan 1 - 0 West Ham
Portsmouth 1 -1 Chelsea
Reading 0 - 2 Bolton

Get Some!
Birmingham 1 -1 Derby (0-1)
Newcastle 1 - 1 Boro (2-2)
L'pool 3 - 0 Sunderland (3-1)

Hey clown, we're 2 points clear
Man City 1 - 3 Arsenal (0-1)

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I Don't Know How These Guys Are Laying Off These Pitches

I feel like Harry Doyle.

"One hit? We only got one goddamn hit?"

The future came to us last week with a message. "Lots of scoring." It was wrong. Maybe it meant I was supposed to get laid a lot last week, in which case it was still wrong.

Thirty-four goals. That's what was in the cards for match day 24. Instead the total scoring was on par with the average daily temperature I've endured for the last week. Count 'em up. I got 14. That's a solid 20 shy and it's also fucking cold.

One right, we got one goddamn game right: 2-0.

That's the score. It's either Man U v. Portsmouth or Sunderland at Birmingham. Everything else was off. Way off. Not even hand grenades close. We had lots of 3's and 4' and it reality it was lots of 1's and 0's.

So I'm not going to bother with the other 8 fixtures.

Instead I'm going to bitch that the Gunners have to go to Manchester to play Citeh (where I believe they are still undefeated) 48 hours after they pick up a competent striker in Benjani.

Meanwhile, without even looking at the fixtures, I'm going to guess that Chelsea is playing at Stamford Bridge against a club that just sold it's biggest offensive threat to foreign league for a bag of magic sand.

This weeks predictions are chasing last weeks scores. And there won't be much scoring. Hopefully, it is again wrong about my romantic prospects for the week.

0-0
1-1
2-1
1-0
0-1
1-1
2-2
0-1
3-1
0-2

We'll check back in on Monday. Not so much to see if these predictions are any good, but more to count the remaining live bodies left around these parts if that last item on the list is for the Liverpool v. Sunderland match.

[Update: Arsenal kicks at what time? Fuck.]

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Is Waterlooville near Pinacoladaburg?

Waterlooville Sunset's Fine.

It's an FA Cup weekend. We'll see if Liverpool can finally make a bitch of a lesser opponent. It's going to be tough as they host non-leaguers Havant and Waterlooville [Note: mp3 link], the only side in English football that stole their name from a second rate Monty Python knockoff.

I'm sure nobody at the FA is reading this because I'm not sure any of them are literate (hey, these are the people that hired Steve McLaren) but here's a modest proposal. And it doesn't involve eating Irish babies.

Uh, what's the biggest untapped market in all of fútbol? And what is going on in said market this weekend? The correct answers are "the US" and "fuck all." If you got both right, congrats, you're now qualified to manage Fulham.

Imagine if the weekend's match-ups included, say, Arsenal v. Man U; and Chelsea v. Liverpool and they were given late kicks, say, 20:00 GMT. Give Americans just long enough to panic and realize there might not be shit besides golf on TV. Then give them a cushion so that can not only find a bar, but they can get their BAC up to something near "impaired."

Instead the one weekend on the sports calendar where rabid sports fans on this side of the pond have no fucking clue how to occupy their time, the FA gives the world Blackburn v. Villa.

I'm not suggesting the FA tailor its schedule to work around the NFL, but it would be fucking an ideal time for another "Grand Slam Saturday" (Or Sunday) if the FA had tailored its schedule to work around the NFL. Or at least complement it.

Dumbasses.

That said...the scores for next week. Numbers ahead of time, teams affixed after midweek fixtures.

3-2
4-1
2-2
0-1
2-1
2-0
0-3
2-3
2-1
4-0

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Either We're Pretty Good at This, Or It's Really Easy

Could be some of both, but again we totally nailed five of this weekend's matches in our EPL predictions. (Suck it, Barclay's... okay, I'm just bandwagoning on that.)

Anyway, this is about the only fun left in the league, because the league itself, it's pretty much over. And that after we're just past the halfway point. Fucking Man U. The only remaining drama is the battle for fourth place. Everton and Citeh are going to vulture as long as the Reds manage to continually draw against lesser sides. Of slightly less importance is whether Grant can continue cobbling together winning sides to snatch second place, while the Gunners suddenly look way too vulnerable on the backline with Eboue and Toure kicking it old skool in the Crib of Civilization.

If schadenfruede is your thing, there's the possibility that there is even more unraveling to be done at the Toon, enough so that Newcastle threatens relegation. And really does anything strike less fear in an opponent than a Magpie?

Answer: Yes, a Wanderer.

But hey, get a Schlitz dropped on you by Man U, no worries just lead with a bit on your official blog about how cracking your junior side is.

Whatever, at least the trophy won't have to travel this season. Oh well, there's still beer.


Stuck The Landing

Sunderland 2-0 Portsmouth

West Ham 2-1 Fulham

Bolton 1-2 Blackburn

'Boro 1-1 Liverpool

Arsenal 1-1 Birmingham City 


We Dyslexia Heart (Right score, wrong order)
Tottenham 0-2 Chelsea
Reading 1-3 Villa

Horseshoes and Hand Grenades (Our predictions in parenthesis)
Everton 1 - 0 Citeh (3-2)
Derby 0-1 Wigan (0-0)


If it's much worse than this, what does it really matter.
Man U 6 - 0 Newcastle (3-0)

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This stuff just comes to us, folks

This weekend's scores before they happen.

We don't make them up. They are delivered to us, divinely (by which we mean, via gmail).

2-0
2-1
3-2
1-2
1-1
1-3
1-1
0-0
0-2

Update [The Fan's Attic]: We neglected to include one other score from the Overlords. 3-0.

Monday, we'll breakdown how omnipotent our Search Engine Overlords are.

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