See this?
I still can't get my head around that. Chelsea is just three points back. And they play United this weekend. Not only that, the game is at the Bridge where the Blues haven't lost since, I don't know, since like the Cubs were last in the World Series or people used rotary phones.
It is astounding. Haven't they been dreadful? Hasn't Grant managed to manage them down to the level of their opponent week after eye-bleedingly awful week? But there they are. It's like that night you spent the whole time chatting up the hot chick at the party and then right as she is about to give you her number, an ex pops in to the shindig, and, after a 90 second exchange, whisks her home. Only this is worse because it's Chelsea, and there is no EPL (suck it, Barclay's) equivalent of masturbation to placate the epic failure.
The only consolation is that, even if Chelsea can get the win, they will be so far behind on goal differential, they will need another United slip while they face off against a shockingly quasi-competent Newcastle and still utterly useless Bolton. Even then, handing United a championship is no consolation (not here at UF anyways).
How is this possible? I have no answer. But Avram Grant's good fortune has me toying with the idea of returning to religion. And that can't be good for anyone.
Frankly this season has turned out to be sheer torture. My beloved Gunners might have been the best team in the Prem this season and will have nothing to show for it, not even likely the auto-Champions League qualification. Meanwhile the two teams I hate most are having a go at each other for the title. The only thing I can hope for is that both teams so utterly destroy themselves and each other that they both crash out of the CL next week. Ugh.
Of course Fergie is already complaining about that 'unfair' scheduling. Pussy. Somebody should knee him in the nuts.
Oh, wait...
Here's ten pairs of numbers.
0-0
2-0
4-2
1-0
0-1
1-1
0-2
2-2
0-0
0-4 (I'll call this as Arsenal at Pride Park and Theo with a hatty).
Friday, April 25, 2008
Yeah, Been Slacking A Couple of Weeks
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
And Suddenly My Weekend Mornings Are Much Freer
Really, after shitting the bed and blowing a 3-1 midweek lead against Tottenham, Didier Drogba decides to show up and John Terry decides to shut up and Arsenal get fucked. Or maybe they fucked themselves.
See that grave? That's the one the Jesus crawled out of on Sunday and Arsenal decided to crawl straight into.
Wouldn't want it to get cold.
And I can't believe I'm typing these words but Avram Grant actually out managed Arsene Wenger. Or maybe it was as one of the guys on Fox Football Fone-In put it, Grant had simply run out of ways to screw things up so he had no choice but to finally make the right decisions.
Then—THEN—depsite all of that, Almunia gets his hands on the ball but he just Noonans the save. 2-1. Game. Set. Prem. Maybe I could get an Eternal Sunshine treatment and just erase any memory of the last, oh, month of football. So much for being 5 points clear. Well, on the upside things are about to get fun around these parts with the 3 Liverpool v. Arsenal fixtures looming imminent. Oh, and like every other week. We got five of our predictions right. You want a prediction you can bank on? We predict that we'll get five right again next week.
I'm going to have nightmares of that second goal for a while. The entire sequence. First the hand ball that gave the Blues the free kick could have just as easily not been called. The ball was rolled a good 10 yards up the pitch from the spot of the foul for the kick. There was a fortunate glancing bounce in the box for the ball to land at Drogba's feet.
Right
-----
Boro 1-0 Derby
Tottenham 2-0 Portsmouth
Chelsea 2-1 Arsenal
Villa 0-1 Sunderland
Bolton 0-0 Man City
Less right
-----
Blackburn 3-2 Wigan (3-1)
Everton 0-1 West Ham (1-1)
Reading 2-2 Birmingham (2-1)?
Shut your fucking mouth Mascherano
-----
Man U 0-2 Liverpool (3-1)
Newcastle 0-1 Fulham (2-0)
Friday, March 21, 2008
I'm Not Sure I'll Be Able to Stomach Watching
Dear Baby Jesus
Help Grant field a shite Blues side
The Gunners need points
Okay, so it's not exactly the most eloquent haiku, and aren't most Japanese Shintoists to begin with? So I'm not sure the form of the plea will even please the Baby Jesus, but I'm completely at my wits fucking end.
Four straight draws in four winnable matches dating back to the Eduardo injury. Adebayor hasn't done dick since his new haircut. And while poor officiating seems to be a staple of this EPL, the refs certainly haven't erred in the favor of Arsenal as of late. And shit if somehow Chelski isn't able to pull into second place with a win at Stamford Bridge where they haven't lost since, well, since Jesus last roamed the planet.
So hopefully the overmatched Grant will again field a side without Joe Cole and Michael Ballack. Maybe he'll experiment with a revolutionary 4-6-0. I don't know and I don't care how it happens. I just want more than anything, even World fucking Peace, for the Gunners to break the Blues home winning streak not for the sake of ending the streak but because without the three points, the Gunners are dead in the EPL title chase.
Of course the thing I want second most in the world is a Liverpool win. Although I shouldn't say that lest the folks around here get the wrong idea. Still, I'm totally okay if Torres justifies my love man crush.
Here's what happens this weekend.
1-0
0-1
0-1
0-0
3-2 (This might be a Jermaine Defoe hatty Ed. Note: Defoe can't play against Spurs due to an arcane new EPL rule.)
2-0
0-2
2-1
2-2
0-1
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