'Petrov' Must Be Bulgarian for 'Watch Me Fuck Shit Up'

My hatred has a touch of whimsy today. With that in mind, I give you the following haiku:

Stoppage time. Red Card.
You wrecked my fantasy week
Martin Petrov: Dick.

Sometimes it is about me. Okay he didn't wreck my week, but if not for that Red Card I am weekly high point person in my 50-team fantasy league for the first time all season. Newman! Or rather: Martin!

Hey, two Martins fucking my footballing week. Wonder what it means... besides nothing.

With that... the whores!

Oops, I mean... the scores!

Carling Cup Final
We totally nailed this one
Spurs win it. 2 - 1.

No, I'm not going to do all nine other fixtures 5-7-5 style, but if you've got something to say feel free to haiku it in the comments. Let's rock the rest of the scores (oh God, I can't believe I actually said that).

Damn. Only 4 right?
Birmingham 2-2 Arsenal*
Fulham 0-1 West Ham
Liverpool 3-2 'Boro
Portsmouth 1-0 Sunderland

This is kinda close to right
Reading 1-2 Villa (2-2)

Just Gawdawful here
Newcastle 0-3 United (1-5)
Blackburn 1-1 Bolton (4-1)
Man City 0-2 Everton (1-1)
Wigan 0-0 Derby (Does it really matter what the actual score was?)