Thursday, June 18, 2009

CornfedCup Liveblog: Italy-Egypt

Well, American fans, we have nothing else to look forward to this summer, do we? I mean there's still MLS on, but there's not another meaningful US match until August, just before the European leagues kick off. What to do?

Well, we could always get on the Giuseppe Rossi hate train.

For just $24, you can have a stylish look when you enforce the UF fatwa against the New Jersey native by throwing a pie in his face on camera. Plus, since it's an American Apparel shirt, you can show your love for sexed-up weirdos who run companies that pay a living wage in the US.

Which brings us to today's late match between Egypt and Italy. Theoretically, the US could still qualify for the semifinals with an Egypt win today, a large US win over Egypt and a very large Brazil win over Italy. While no one thinks all of that is possible, the first step happens right now. Welcome to your afternoon liveblog.

------------------------------
Pregame show? WHHAAAA? What about Mike and Mike?

Italy (4-3-3): Buffon, Grosso, Chiellini, Cannavaro (C), Gattuso, De Rossi, Iaquinta, Rossi, Zambrotta, Pirlo, Quagliarella. Subs: Everyone else

Egypt (5-3-2): El Hadary (C), A. Said, H. Said, Fathi, Abd Rabbou, Zidan, Shawky, Homos, Moawad, Gomaa, Aboutrika. Subs: Yep, they have a lot.

I'm not going to claim to be a master of the Pharaohs' roster, so bear with me.
------------------------------
-15.00 So, everyone still smarting from this morning? I am.

-5.00 Egypt go defensive to start. Yes, Rossi starts up top for Italy. Can my in jest prediction of that bastard becoming the top goal scorer come true?

-2.00 Nothing controversial about the PK call on Monday. Don't let Tommy Smyth mislead you, Derek.

0.00 Here we go.

1.00 Buffon looking resplendent in all red.
/got nuthin' already

3.00 Pitch looks in horrible shape already. Why is that?

4.00 Oh, thanks Tommy. Rugby is the reason.

4.00 Pirlo takes a shot. No worries.

5.00 Pirlo floats a cross. No worries.

6.00 Rossi with a foul on Shawky in midfield. Smyth gives a bio on Rossi.

8.00 Some creative play in midfield for Egypt leads to a nice pass into the box. Cleared for a corner by Cannavaro. Nothing happens.

9.00 Offside Italy. Egypt immediately give away the free kick and are stretched thin before Italy lose the ball.

12.00 Rossi shoots over from 16. Dangerous chance off of a deflection.

14.00 Egypt work the right flank again. Pass into Zidan leaves him caught up in his own feet.

16.00 Egypt holding their own so far. No real dangerous chances for either side.

18.00 Promising break for Italy goes for nought when the cross is too short for Rossi.

19.00 Cannavaro shows how to man mark on a free kick. Hopefully, Spector was taking notes. Potentially dangerous kick snuffed out by professionalism.

20.00 Fucking vuvuzelas.

22.00 Rossi takes a foul 35 or so yards out. Unsurprisingly, these two sure do like to talk about him. Pirlo tries a shot without the correct direction or any real sting.

24.00 Iaquinta nails a shot from 22, but too close to the keeper. There was a rebound, but no one close from Italy to worry the keeper.

25.00 Rossi again tries from outside the box. Keeper has to turn over the crossbar. Corner Kick, taken, by Rossi, is easily headed out. Not sure if Rossi's original shot was going in, but the save was nice nonetheless.

28.00 Egypt's best attacks so far have been getting behind Grosso. Unfortunately for them, Italy seems to be compensating now and have started to control the match.

29.00 On cue, Egypt string together a couple of passes on the other side and look dangerous. Last ball nowhere close to being productive, though.

31.00 Not a lot to say about this match. Right now, both teams seem more intent on walking around for a bit than trying to attack.

33.00 Quagliarella gets in a good position, but his control off the chest fails him. Gets too close to the end line and lets the ball get tackled out for a corner. Kick taken short and an offside called on the cross in.

34.00 Zidan has pulled something. He'll looks like he will have to come off.

35.00 Grosso looks lost without an Australian leg to fall over. Egypt once again getting behind him with ease. Rest of the Italian defense takes care of biz, though.

37.00 Egypt is extremely well-organized and playing the Italians both ways. Wonder if the US can get their coach?

38.00 Zidan, back on, gets called for offside. Egypt getting their chances here.

40.00 Egypt shoot from 25, Buffon pushes over. Then GOAL. Resultant corner goes to an unmarked HOMOS!!! who heads in off the post. De Rossi the culprit of not marking. 1-0 Egypt

42.00 Must state that Buffon was rooted on the eight yard header. Not a good job by anyone in blue or red on that corner.

44.00 Gattuso leg wraps Shawky. No card. Come on, Ovrebo. We expect more out of you.

Tweet tweet TWEEEEEET Halftime. Italy has now been behind 1-0 in both of their games so far. Does that mean anything, other than you should take Brazil for the first half on Sunday?

What I have seen so far: Egypt like to work the wings, while remaining solid at the back. Italy, despite having three up top, seem to have no numerical advantage while attacking. Italy have also been fond of the long ball, while Egypt are working short and doing it better than the Azzuri. Italy would do well to sub in a MF for a forward (prob Quags) and employ a second wave effect to the attack from midfield. Egypt have to not sit back and try to defend a one goal lead. See you in 10 or so.

45.01 We're back. No subs noticed.

46.00 Italy look dangerous from the start. Good movement. Maybe they care this half?

48.00 Ha Ha. Gattuso lost his pants. Shorts, for you Brits.

48.00 Moawad languishing on the ground after getting stomped on the ankle by Gattuso.

51.00 More hoofing it long and down the middle for Italy. De Rossi then shoots well over from 30 yards. Great gameplan, guys.

53.00 I have the volume down, and that's the second time I've heard Smyth say "The snarling dog doesn't snarl much anymore" in reference to Gattuso. Get this man a coffin!

54.00 Iaquinta beats the offside trap but fails at the one on one. Great chance lost, even if Iaquinta used his arm to control.

56.00 Zidan off. Ahmed Eid on. OK.

57.00 Sixth Italian corner goes way long. Cannavaro went up for the header but it was three feet over his head. Italian subs: Rossi, Gattuso off; Montolivo, Toni on.

58.00 Yellow Card Eid, just on, rugby tackles Cannavaro.

60.00 Egypt have a 2 on 1 break, but the last pass was slow enough so that Italian defenders can catch up.

62.00 Egypt still showing well. Advancing forward but not giving up chances on the other end. Italy look bored/tired. Montolivo hacked down by Shawky, who got the ball. Pirlo to shoot from 30. Just wide. He had the keeper beat.

64.00 Italy's last sub: Pepe on for Quags. Egyptian down forever. Carted off.

67.00 Corner kick for Egypt. Derek Rae wants to #banvuvuzelas. Kick short, ball lost.

68.00 Pepe with a good ball. Toni and Iaquinta flap at it and miss. Egypt sub: Moawad off, Farag on.

70.00 Egypt may have held long enough to start getting some productive counters as Italy press. Iaquinta saved well from in close. Pepe the catalyst here for Italy.

71.00 Maybe I should watch Udinese more. This Pepe kid has some fire.

73.00 Pepe again on the right. Gets fouled twice, but no call.

74.00 This is the worst fast break weave I have ever seen.

What a Save! Montolivo with the open shot from 14 yards. Placed well, but the keeper was up to the task.

75.00 15 minutes left and we are all Homos now.

76.00 Abu Trika should have scored.

79.00 Another goal line save! Iaquinta this time. Ball just palmed enough to stop the momentum from going over the line. Great, great stuff from the Egyptian captain.

80.00 Hassan in for Egypt for Fathi. Last of the subs.

Italy will score here, I feel. It's coming soon.

81.00 El Hadary for MotM, right? Except for repeatedly outkicking the coverage on the punts, that is.

83.00 I don't think I've ever seen a guy coming on get the captain's armband without the previous captain going off. Odd.

Egypt waste a chance. Abu Trika wouldn't pull the trigger.

84.00 "Egypt 1, The United Sates nil." Thanks, Derek Rae.

Apparently we do start one down Matt. Sucks.

86.00 Another break on the right for Egypt. They got nuthin'.

87.00 Give that man the armband back! El Hadary thanks the crossbar as the keeper watched Iaquinta's shot go over his head.

89.00 Handball 20 yards out. Great chance for Italy. Gomaa(?) called for the arm. Pirlo to take. FIELD GOAL! Way over.

90.00 Five minutes added on. Ouch, but fair.

90.00 El Hadary playing with the ball a little. Homos looks on.

90.00 Three minutes left. Nervy.

90.00 Corner kick. Yellow Cards to el Hadary for arguing, and one to Gomaa as well. Hansen comes through.

90.00 Buffon came up for that. Ball cleared and put back in. Italy offside.

90.00 One minute left.

90.00 Toni dives.

90.00 Time up. Blow the whistle.

FULL TIME Holy shit, the US is still alive. Homos is your goal scorer, El Hadary is your MotM on the pitch, and Hassan Shehata is the best coach on earth.

96 comments:

phil said...

When I saw that shirt, my first thought was: "Americans are finally becoming footy fans. They have learned to hate."

It brought a tear to my eye.

Then I farted and took a swig from my macrobrew and ate a freedom fry.

AMERIKUH! FUK YEAH!

Goat said...

Can you formulate some kind of a bet wherein LB has to wear that shirt if he loses?

ü75 said...

I;m sure something can be worked up.

The Fan's Attic said...

LB doesn't care, he's English.

I must state on my behalf that I am not calling for a Rossi fatwa. I am a mullah against a fatwa.

ü75 said...

Get out. You are no better than the ayatollahs who have said that following orders is not an excuse.

G said...

Oh God. The BBC just gave a long explanation on horn blowing in African culture and announced that good ol'Sepp has said that horn blowing will NOT be banned next year. Suggested we get used to the noise.

ü75 said...

Don't worry, G, we have a year to set that straight.

Teeknuts said...

Homos!

Johnny said...

Does anyone know of a reliable website to get MNT news? Like how imminent Bradley's firing is? I usually stick with the MNT blog ,and ussoccer.com, but they seem intent on blowing smoke up BB's backside.

Goat said...

Doo-doo brown shorts again for Italy. I'll bet their useful if you eat a lot of Olestra.

Goat said...

That's "they're" not "their." I'm no better than my students.

Sarah said...

I'm considering watching Spain vs England U21s instead. I don't think I can take watching Italy win another game.

ü75 said...

I am kind of hoping Homos comes up big today. Also hope a brother of his comes to the NFL. Take that, word filter on the jersey maker.

G said...

@Sarah
Stay and feed your hatred of the Eye-talians. Join the dark side - we have cookies.

Spectator said...

God the USMNT is terrible. That's all I got.

Teeknuts said...

Wait, what Serie A where you don't get time on the ball is Tommy talking about?

ü75 said...

No idea.

EbullientFatalist said...

Italy against Egypt?

Montgomery remains unimpressed.

G said...

ManU has a buy back option on Rossi. After this tourney and losing Ronaldo, think they'll do it?

/USMNT breaks my heart like a lover in a country song

Steve said...

can someone explain the Jermaine Jones situation to me? It's my understanding that he is already capped (twice?) for Germany, but now he wants to switch? Is that possible?

Steve said...

ahh nevermind, wikipedia to the rescue. his three caps are all in friendlies, so he is still eligible.

EbullientFatalist said...

Yes it is possible because FIFA takes pity on the US so it allows us to take players capped previously with another nation.

The Fan's Attic said...

i saw that story about the buyback option a few months back. not sure if it's true or not, but SAF should know how he would do in the EPL.

Steve said...

in other news, he's a real dick according to his wikipedia page.

G said...

Steve, As long as he has balls, unlike the rest of men, I could care less.

Steve said...

G, i agree completely.

Steve said...

you know, much as I hate Tommy SmYth, I'll take him and Rae over JP and Harkes any day.

EbullientFatalist said...

Has anyone else read the Guardian story on ManUtd capping the age of players they bring in at 26? It rules out Ribery.

But hasn't this been Arsene's policy for years?

http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2009/jun/17/manchester-united-transfer-policy

G said...

@TFA:

Found an old article on the dailymail where SAF says they have a buyback right. If you are bored and want to read: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-472428/Fergie-opts-refusal-Rossi.html

Steve said...

I think it's a good policy.

The NY Kid said...

Ah, the representation of Fascism through shit-brown shorts. Assholes.

The NY Kid said...

I want to punch Rossi and his 5 o'clock shadow in his vuvuzela.

Steve said...

tommy smyth makes racism awkward.

G said...

You know, I'm kind of finding Egypt a might bit impressive. Go Egypt - fuck the Italians!

phil said...

Did YEAGA BAWMBS get the start?

G said...

HELL YEAH PHIL. YOU SHOULD SEE HOWSE HE DOIN.

Steve said...

hell yeah.

G said...

Egypt fuck yeah?!?

Teeknuts said...

HOMOS!

The NY Kid said...

GOLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZO

The NY Kid said...

If this match ends 1-0, I will officially love Homos

The Fan's Attic said...

somebody please explain what this all means for the USMNT for me. does the italy suck? is egypt that good? does the US suck really bad? will Brazil kill Italy? i'm confused.

The NY Kid said...

@TFA - I'm going with Egypt is the new Greece

Steve said...

Brazil - good
Italy - good, but lazy.
Egypt - hardworking, efficient.
U.S. - shitty.

ü75 said...

I think Steve has it sussed.

The Fan's Attic said...

if Egypt wins this thing, does that mean the US will lose 3-1 to them? does that mean the Italy loses to Brazil 4-2? this extrapolation from results works, right?

Steve said...

TFA, generally I'd say yes, with the caveat that Brazil isn't good enough to drop four on Italy (if the Italians show up, which they should if they lose this one).

Teeknuts said...

Seriously, could Adidas only afford to make one commercial?

Johnny said...

So if you excuse my irrational hope for a second. What kind of result is best for the U.S. here? 1-0 Egypt the way I thought I had it figured out, the more the Pharaohs win by, the less Brazil must beat Italy by, but the more the USA have to beat Egypt by?

/head spinning

Steve said...

that's more of gennaro gattuso than i ever wanted to see.

gramesy said...

@Johnny: I don't think it matters because the US gave up 6 so far, and I think the GD rules are based on head to head results, not overall. So even if the US ends up tied with Italy on points, they're still out. But I could be wrong about that. Either way, it's not gonna happen.

ü75 said...

The thought process is that, if it all plays out like I posted in the live blog, Brazil would be on 9 points, and the other three would all be on three. At that point, it would be GD.

Anonymous said...

Yes, it's based on goal difference. If the game ended now, Egypt would be +0 and Italy would be +2, so the United States would need to beat Egypt by 8 (USMNT is -5, and Italy beat us head to head).

Johnny said...

Right I think they laid it during SA/NZ yesterday that it went
GD
Goals Scored
Head to Head.

The point is moot anyways

ü75 said...

Would have to win by 4. (egypt lose 4, usa gain 4), and have Brazil win by 3. It's not happening, but that's what would have to happen.

The NY Kid said...

essentially, we would need Brazil to beat Italy, and then we would have to beat Egypt by (8-the Brazil v Italy goal differential)

Anonymous said...

And, of course, Brazil would need to beat Egypt; depending on what happened there, the final of the US - Egypt game would change. If Brazil wins by 1, then Italy's GD is only +1, and we need to beat Egypt by 7 (not 8 as in my above post). Basically, we need to beat Egypt by 5 + Italy's GD after the Brazil game + 1 since they beat us head to head. Unless there's some offensive explosion in this game on the part of Egypt, their eventual goal difference doesn't matter, since we have to beat them anyway.

The Fan's Attic said...

if egypt wins 1-0 the GD is 0 for them and they sit on 3 points. italy would also have 3 points on a +1 GD.

so, the US would need to win against egypt by 3 goals and Italy would need to lose by 4 goals, for the US to advance. the US currently has a -5 GD.

if egypt wins by a greater scoreline, then the US would need to win by more goals to beat Egypt's GD. It also means Brazil wouldn't have to win by as much over italy for the US to advance.

that's my understanding. so i think the best possible scoreline would be 1-0 because there is no way in hell the US scores 4 goals. i think 3 goals is about as likely as Paris Hilton not having an STD (ie. not likely, but there is a very small chance). i think it is possible for brazil to beat italy by four, but that's pretty unlikely too.

bottom line. US is not advancing.

Spectator said...

I see one slight flaw in the calculations about what the Americans need to do to still make the knockout stage..... There's no way that they will beat Egypt so it's all completely moot.

Just saying.

The NY Kid said...

it's a Luca Toni sighting!

Anonymous said...

@ü75- yeah, we're boned unless this turns into FIFA 09 and Landycakes learns the 360.

The NY Kid said...

we're still getting anonymous posts?

Someone forgot to change the settings back after last night!

The Fan's Attic said...

that would be me.

The NY Kid said...

oh, I know who it was, Sally!

gramesy said...

Even if pigs fly and the US somehow find themselves in the semis against (probably) Spain, you know Howard's gonna spend most of that game yelling at his D and fishing the ball out of the back of the net.

The Fan's Attic said...

clearly you don't, because I'm not Sally.

The NY Kid said...

Ovrebo and Buffon do not appreciate these Italian-like dramatics from the Egyptians.

Johnny said...

Is that large South African woman they just showed famous down there? I swear she's been at like 3 matches so far.

Matt said...

As the former Anonymous, way to make me fish my Google account out of my memory. Grumble.

I'm excited for the 2010 World Cup and not having to watch Italy past the group stages.

ü75 said...

I'm just glad there's no CWS to run over this match.

Matt said...

Yeah, those were lovely touches. I've never seen someone avoid a member of his own team more prettily.

The NY Kid said...

El Hadary has made some huge saves

Teeknuts said...

Oh what I wouldn't give to see more Homos scoring right now...

Matt said...

@NY Kid- It's probably because he's wearing pants.

The NY Kid said...

don't get me started on the GKs-wearing-pants issue.

I never wear pants.

/also applies off the pitch

The NY Kid said...

HOLY SHIT! WHAT A FUCKING SAVE!

Matt said...

He and Petr Cech need to get together and compare pitchwear.

Achmed Hassan on for Achmed Fati; Achmed the Dead Terrorist left on the bench.

Teeknuts said...

El Hadary is in the fucking zone today

Precious Roy said...

Hmmm... didn't see this coming. But I was never very good with clairvoyance.

The NY Kid said...

my strikers hate it when I outkick my coverage on punts. Guess what, guys? Next time, start further up the pitch!

Matt said...

El Hadary has been as good as Egypt was inept on that last opportunity.

Matt said...

"Egypt 1, the United States nil."

Aw crap, we start one down?

Teeknuts said...

He's just predicting the score of the game on Saturday by the 5th minute.

The Fan's Attic said...

How about plain old Claires? they're pretty easy, right?

Matt said...

Whoa, lucky break for Egypt. El Hadary was completely handcuffed by that cross.

The NY Kid said...

Post for MotM!

Matt said...

Gomaa looks vaguely like Vin Diesel.

Teeknuts said...

That was a weird replay of Pirlo's face

G said...

Odd yellow.

Matt said...

There's no way there should have been a card there, sorry Derek.

The NY Kid said...

HOMOS! HOMOS!

Teeknuts said...

Italy really should have played Dossena today.

G said...

Nice win Egypt.

We are the NZ of our group. How very very embarrassing.

Matt said...

Headlines:

HOMOS ON TOP OF THE WORLD!

Homos Scores As Italians Go Down!

Italians Beaten By Homos!

Did I miss any?

hockalees said...

C'mon guys, don't give up on the US's chances so easily... we'll have a FIELD full of Homos for the next game!

Teeknuts said...

And now, a horrible reminder of how the US did today.