Euro Eulogy: Portugal

Note: I would have been posting earlier today, but I only just finished masturba-I mean, working, after seeing Fowler and Macca playing on the same pitch again for the first time in ages

Well, Cristiano. You were knocked out of the tournament days ago, and it's still hilarious to me. You and your gelled, flamboyant collective of footballing talent couldn't get it done against the efficient Germans.

Might this be a good moment to talk about your move to Spain now?

Portugal were enjoyable to watch, for the most part. Some of the showboating late in the game against Turkey was a bit much, but then again, that's the role Portugal plays in tournaments. You're the older brother of the family, the guy who knows he's good and lets his charm ruin him at the most inopportune time.

You ever try to date two or more girls at the same time? For the first month or so, everything is going swimmingly well; you have seen them all a couple of times and managed to explain away your disappearances to each of them when you've been seeing one of the others on the side. And then, you take one to dinner, and the others show up separately for a bite to eat at the same restaurant, and you end up walking home covered in soup, spittle, and with a couple of buttons missing from your shirt.

That, my friends, is Portugal. Blessed beyond God's will with talent at all positions, they are apt to a brainfart when it counts the most.

Deco was masterful at times, and downright ordinary in others. C-Ron seems to think that his natural gift and avalanche of accolades is enough to win matches, but it's really not. Even when the Dallas Cowboys were ridiculously loaded with talent in the 90s, they still lost from time to time. Remember this.

Boswinga is off to Chelsea, as is the now-finished manager, Big Phil. How many others will follow them? Could we see the Algarve transplanted to Stamford Bridge? Heck, he's already got 3/4 of the backline, what's another 2 or 3 matter? Deco's been linked, as has the pacy but greedy Quaresma.

Drogba's going to need to learn how to say "fuck you" in yet another language if this carnival keeps up!

In all seriousness, it's hard for any of us to say that we didn't see this coming. The quintessential counter-attack team, like many within pissing distance of the Mediterranean; they're a nightmare moving forward, but an embarrassment at the back. It's fun to watch when the scenario keeps repeating itself: C-Ron, Carvalho and co losing in the knockout stages to a far more disciplined team. Sure, Portugal got back into it as the clock ticked down, and Germany looked rather rattled, but it amounted to little.

You have to wonder when Portugal will learn. Could they pull a Russia and bring in the ultimate ball-breaker tactician to finally get them over the hump? Charisma is clearly not something needed in management there, as the players have more than enough to go around.

No, the only way for them to move forward is to strip their coaching candidates of a sense of humor, and pick the most miserable, irritable one. It's the only hope they've got: in a team full of petulant children, who's going to enforce the law?

There's only really one option: Avram Grant.

Seriously though... C-Ron might well pack a bag for the Costa del Sol and spend his seasons in the Bernabeu, but constant failure at the international level is never something that sits well.

And if a real ornery bastard isn't given the job, well, we know where to bet our money when South Africa '10 rolls around.

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3-2

Hopefully, the Benedict Arnold now scuppers off to Real Madrid for a Galacticos Redux.

[Photo: FABRICE COFFRINI/AFP/Getty Images]


After the jump more Iberian news...

It looks like Portuguese fans are taking the loss poorly as this young Portuguese lady was stabbed after the match in Portugal.



[Photo: AP Photo/Paulo Duarte]

For the ladies...



Pepe and Torres stretching.

[Photo: AP Photo/Bernat Armangue]

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Euro 2008 Liveblog: Germany v. Portugal

Would anybody have complained if Germany v. Protugal had been the final match-up?

Okay, sure the Italians. And probably even the Dutch. The Greeks, yeah they would have wanted to defend their title. And have you ever heard a Swede bitch? Oh, and I bet the Turks can whinge up a storm as well.

Okay, except for 13 of the 14 other nations involved—Austria should be blowing some deity right now in giving thanks that they got to attend this little shindig—who would have complained that this would have been worthy of the final?

And we get it as a quarter final. Good for us.

Bad for one of Germany or Portugal (I'm hoping it's bad for Portugal) as one of them is going home after today.

Not that I have any particular love for die Germans. Every couple of generations they get a little bossy and start invading neighbors; and well, by the calendar on the wall, seems like we're past due for another attempt at über alles.

But I'm sick of Cristiano Ronaldo.Time to start acting like the best player in the world instead of a 4 year old. So dear Baby Jesus, if Ronaldo takes a blatant dive today, please give the ref the strength to card his ass.

Any number of players on the pitch could be the difference maker today. I'm putting it on Jens. If he kicks one of off his own knee today (a la at home to Fulham to start the last EPL campaign) the Germans are done. And I will laugh as he shuffles off to Stuttgart.

But if his secrets on how to handle Ronaldo and the Portuguese turn out to be more than complete bullshit, then I will cry as Kilnsy's CHB could have dropped those on some teammates during the last season at the Emirates.

Anyway, by the fault of some arrogant reffing, Joachim Loew won't be on the sideline. He's got a one match ban, which means he can't have anything to do with his team from half hour before until half hour after. Really? He can't run on the field if they win to celebrate? I believe the term to describe that is: "fucking stupid."

Bummer as the movie version of this match with Hackman [warning mp3 link] matching wits against MacLachlan would have been box office gold.

Livebloggamy to follow. Join us as I go get a sandwich and will be back a couple of minutes before kick.

Germany: Lehmann, Friedrich, Mertesacker, Metzelder, Lahm, Schweinsteiger, Rolfes, Ballack, Hitzlsperger, Klose, Podolski.

Portugal: Ricardo, Bosingwa, Pepe, Carvalho, Ferreira, Petit, Joao Moutinho, Ronaldo, Deco, Simao, Nuno Gomes.

Sweet fancy Moses... No Foudy. Wow, maybe prayer does work. I don't know. I didn't try it, but I bet somebody who believes in it did.

T-minus 6: "Seven Nation Army" again. Is this now the default music for crowd chants at Euro 2008?

T-minus 5: Anthems. Germany first. And the Dodgers are pasting the Reds. Hope I didn't start Aaron Harang.

T-minus 3: Portugal's anthem. They look tiny. And Deco looks like a Care Bear.

T-miuns 2: Seriously, as they shake hands Germany looks like they are playing Lilliput.

Kick: So apparently new sod went down like 2 or 3 days ago and it's not really set. Players were puling up corners of huge pieces in pre-game. Could be an issue. But everyone thought that about the CL final and it turned out not to be, or did it? Was EBJT's kick shanked because of he slipped on loose turf, or just straight rain?

2nd minute: Germany having problems getting out of its end on consecutive throws.

3rd minute: Long ball from Germany and Ricardo ends up coming way off his line and outside the 18 to "handle" it. Has to use his feet. Podolski gets a visit from the ref as someone from Portugal cries on the ground.

4th minute: First chance from Ronaldo. He takes it down the left side and kicks one straight into Lehmann's arms. Piece of cake, but Lehmann has looked shakier on easier balls this year.

5th minute: German controlling the midfield a little better right now. But the Portuguese back line is pretty solid to this point and each of the 3-4 forays deep into Portugal territory have been turned away.

7th minute: Looks like the entire Portuguese midfield is going to sit deep to start. Great ball to Deco but his header to Nuno Gomes falls to Lehmann. Germany plays it forward, then back to maintain possession.

8th minute: Ballack fouled by Petit. Free kick for Ballack... Wastes it hitting a two man wall a good metric mile from the edge of the box. Throw for Germany.

10th minute: Exchange of possession in the midfield. Simao makes a run up the right side. Germany makes a nice tackle and couters. Long shot from Hitzlsperger goes to the side netting. Never a danger.

11th minute: And another good run from Simao deep down the right, but his cross goes right in front of Nuno Gomes who can't get his head on it.

12th minute: Metzelder catches an arm in the face. Okay not really. He fell and started going all wussy. Germans area apparenty capable of playing pansy as well. Get up.

14th minute: Klose down the left side. Might have been fouled as he cut back inside, but no whistle. The Portuguese counter, then give it back in midfield.

15th minte: Nice ball from Deco to Simao, runs just inside the line of the 18. He takes a nice shot right into Lehmann's arms again. Simao is the biggest offensive threat for either side this far.

17th minute: The Germans are doing a decent job preventing Portugal from stringing much together through the midfield, but once they get upfield, they are putting pressure on the German defense. Oddly enough, Germany has made almost zero effort to play this match in the air.

18th minute: Throw in for Germany. Schweinsteiger into the box, and it's deflected out for a German corner. Quick corner. Ballack makes run to it but his header looks more like a jump shot... And an air ball at that.

20th minute: Portugal earns a corner after a nice diagonal run through the box by Ronaldo gets cleared. Simao skies the corner. But as they play it back around... Oooh. Simao with aothher cross but Joao Moutinho couldn't make up his mind what to do with it. He first looked like he was going to dive to head it, then he pulled up and tried to get a knee on it. So it sailed wide.

22nd minute: So Portugal has blow the first quality chance of the match. But a littl.. GOAL 1-0 Germany.

I was just about to say a little more creativity from Germany. It's a nice one touch to Podolski who sends it across the box low to Schweinsteiger, who cuts nicely toward the center then buries it past Ricardo. Really, on replay that was a great feed from Podolski that hit Schweinsteiger right in stride.

23rd minute: Joao Moutinho is down, like Ribery down. Okay... restart. Joao Moutinho back up.

26th minute: Yellow for Petit. Free kick from about 30 for Germany.

GOAL 2-0 Germany.

Schweinsteiger with a great kick and Klose is totally unmarked with an easy header right in. Horrible defense by Protugal, and it wasn't just being out-heighted by 6 inches. If it wasn't Klose there was another German (Ballack?) waiting behind him to knock that in. Ricardo was helpless. And they are in serious trouble.

28th minute: Cross from Deco to the back post on the right side. Lahm clears it and Simao takes a corner.

29th minute: Corner comes into the box and hits about the 6, but there is nobody in red there and Germany clears it. Change for Portugal coming... probably Joao Moutinho out.

30th minute: Germany now moving with lots of confidence and look like they are just going to beat up the Portuguese.

31st minute: Portugal playing with good possession in Germany's third, but they aren't getting good chances out of the possession. Simao with a free kick in. Nice ball to Deco, but because Deco is a dwarf, he can't head it but instead opts for the toe punch.

32nd minunte: Oh, nice backheel from Ronaldo that finds Nuno Gomes on a give. Shot is blocked. That was pretty but it lead to nothing.

33rd minute: By the way, they have replayed the Klose goal about 7 times and Andy Gray keeps abusing Ronaldo for failing on defense so epically.

35th miunte: Nice feed from deep on the left side from Ronaldo to Nuno Gones. He can't get it under control at the edge of the six, so instead he takes a dive. No whistle. Good on the ref. Germany counters. Whistle, but not sure what for. Offsides?

37th minute: Ronaldo gets them a corner, but Lehmann makes a decisive move to grab a strong shot. It's odd, when Germany counters there are 5-6 red shirts already back to shut it down. When Portugal makes a break there are sometimes only 3 Germans at the back.

38th minute: German fans refuse to stop chanting "Seven Nation Army." This might cause me to stop cheering for them. Oof... Ballack took one in the face. And that looked legit. But I'd be wrong. On replay that was a bit of a nance move by Ballack to fall. Seriously, Germans are being bigger pussies that the Portuguese.

40th minute: Portugal give it up at midfield. Throw in for Germany. They swing it wide to the right but Schweinsteiger gives it up... GOAL 2-1. Game back on.

Off a quick counter, Ronaldo takes a shot from the right and Lehmann makes a good save, but the rebound comes out to the feet of Nuno Gomes, and he buries it as Lehmann is out of position and Mertesacker can't get a foot on it to deflect it wide [Halftime correction: He did get a toe on it, but only enough to deflect it where it was already headed, in the back of the net]. Bit of an unlucky bounce off of a good save by Lehmann, but we've got a game again.

43rd minute: Now Germany looks the less confident side. They work it through midfield but Schweinsteiger with a mishandle at the endge of the 18. Might have been a handball from Portugal. The red on the counter and a selfish and poor shot from Ronaldo stops the threat. Really, that was stupid of him as he had other options on either side.

45th minute: Throw in for Germany deep in Portugal's third. Lahm with a feed to Ballack, oh, and just missed the near post. Ricardo with a nice save. Andy Gray pointing out the wide open Klose on the far post.

+:30: And on the other end, Ronaldo with a dangerous shot low from the left side. He had Lehmann beat, but it went just beyond the far post. That was close to leveling. End-to-end.

+1:30: Whistle.

Half Good stuff there right before the whistle as both teams had chances. Portugal's was better but Ronaldo couldn't put it away. To be fair it was great work to make that shot come withihn a foot of the far post.

When was the last time anyone used the phrase "hum dinger"? That's probably what we have on tap here in the second half. Portugal knows they need a goal, so sooner or later they will have to press. Germany has looked okay countering at times, but once they were up 2-0 they went, understandably, tentative. Teams are back on the field and we're moments from re-start.

Second Half

Kick: And we're off again. Dig the cross on Portugal's socks. Hadn't noticed that before.

46th minute: Meireles on for Portugal by the way.

47th minute: Germany with a bad giveaway at midfied. Ronaldo goes streaking down the left side and on a slight touch he goes down and starts crying like the biggest douche in the world. He draws a card for Friedrich because of it. Stupid ref, that's the wrong decision. YOU'RE ONLY ENCOURAING IT

49th minute: And now a yellow for Lahm. Yep, that was justified. Simao took him down (and that could have been a foul) but when Lahm rolled over he followed trough with his legs to hit Simao.

50th minute: Then on the restart Simao takes down Podolski and gets away with it. Getting chippy out there kids. BAcking up the card on Friedrich, he stepped on Ronaldo as he was walking away. So maybe it did hurt and was worth a card. Still, C. Ronaldo is a disgrace to y chromosomes everywhere.

52nd minute: Sloppy giveaway from Germany almost gifts Portugal a great chance but the flag was up.

54th minute: Boswinga with a run up the right and crosses it into Ronaldo who goes down and is clutching his ear. I bet he's hurt himself exhaling before.

55th minute: Long ball from Simao completely across the box to a nice large patch of unoccupied green grass, which lovingly accepted it. A turnover almost results in a break for Germany as the ball bounced in to space and Ballack almost raced to collect it.

56th minute: Low, bending cross from Ronaldo into the box. Could have been tricky, but Lehmann handles it. Pretty ball, just a bit short of anyone in red. Corner for Portugal.

57th minute: Argh... Pepe skies one over the bar. It went off Deco who flicked it back with his head right to Pepe who had an open goal in front of him, but he decided "Hey, watch me send this ball 90 degrees straight up."

58th minute: Schweinsteiger wants a call on the touch line. Doesn't get it. He should have. Portugal counters and a long kick from Ronaldo is blocked before it gets to the box. Now a corner for Portugal.

59th minute: Ball comes to the same spot as the last corner. Sorry, lightning only strikes once. Ball comes out, Germany counters. And Pepe is given a yellow for a professional foul on Klose. Actually, he just stood him up and knocked him down. I'm kind of with Andy Gray that the ref seems to be favoring Portugal on inconsistent calls.

62nd minute: GOAL 3-1 (Oops)

Bit of a replay of the second goal headed in for Germany, only this time it's Ballack. Schweinsteiger with a long free kick to the edge of the 6. The Germans just have more height, and they get past the last defenders. Shit read by Ricardo to boot. So, seeing how you can't coach "tall" I don't see how Portugal solves this one.

64th minute: Meireles with a shot from long. Deflected to Ballack who is promptly fouled by... Meireles! He could have gotten a card for that, or for the protesting, but nope.

65th minute: On the exchange of long balls, Lehmann collects and gets it upfield where German gets a throw in. Nani up and getting ready to come it. Andy Gray said he'd take Simao off as he's done nothing. Reall? Simao helped create the first 2-3 good chances for Portugal.

67th minuteL Nuno Gomes is off. Nani on. And Dave Bush apparently has a no-hitter through 7 for the Brewers.

68th minute: Deco earns a free kick for Portugal at the top left from about 25. He sends it straight to about the 4th row of the stands. Nice.

69th minute: Nani cuts right across the top of the 18 and through about 5 Germans, but he is moving too fast for his own good and loses control.

70th minute: And Lahm with a nice shot. Looked like he had lost it in traffic but he keeps it on his foot and gets a strong shot from the top left of the 18 and it goes a bit wide. A good bit, but enough to make Ricardo move. Ricardo sucks by the way.

71st minute: Some one touch passing on the other end tees one up for Petit, who puts it right in the hole. "Hole" being Lehmann's arms, not the back of the net. Midfield is WIDE open now as Portugal is pushing forward. Looks like a change for each team coming up.

73rd minute: Nani collets one on the right side and gets in deep, but there are two white shirts waiting to clear any cross and they do. Corner for Portugal though. Postiga on. Petit off. Also a change for Germany. Give me a sec...

75th minute: Simao up the center. To Nani, and he puts up into a low orbit. Terrible. Hot tip if you are Portugal: Make Jens handle the ball. Take something off it if you have to. It's no coincidence your goal came from a rebound.

76th minute: Commentators are talking about Portugal's failures. If Spain win this, their Iberian counterparts are going to take the mantle of underachiever-chokers, aren't they?

77th minute: Germany has finally packed it all back. Portugal sending balls into the box and they emerge headed back toward midfield. Lather, rinse, repeat.

78th minute: Lehmann launches one about 85% of the way up the pitch. Portugal Noonan's it and it's a corner for Germany. Terrible corner from Schweinsteiger but it rolls out to Podolski who sends a rocket toward the basket that goes wide.

80th minute: And I don't think Portugal has any Turkey in them. This match is over. Corner here for Germany. Nobody on Portugal has grown in the last 20 have they? Another weak ball from Schweinsteiger gives Portugal a counter.

81st minute: I think Simao just made Scolari want to quit football with that last shot. From long, it went high and Portugal wasted a man advantage.

82nd minute: Shot from Ronaldo at the top of the box is blocked and the bounce comes toward Simao who is too short to get a head to it. That sequence pretty much summed up Portugal's day. Thanks for playing guys. Ronaldo, your tranny hooker awaits.

84th minute: So does C. Ronaldo break into tears before the final whistle or after? That's about the only uncertainty left in this match. Germany threatens but a nice close out by Deco who turns it back upfield.

85th minute: Cheeky little lofter into the box by Deco. Lehmann grabs it and Postiga takes him out. Only two players for Portugal were offside, yet the flag stayed down. Lehmann is getting actual attention. Ronaldo is jawing with the ref about something. Sand in the vag? Who knows? I can't lip read, much less lip read Portuguese.

Oh my... 3-2 Beauty cross from Nani. From the left side at about 30, he curled it right on Postiga's head. And he buried past Lehmann who had zero chance. Postiga did a nice job getting behind the defense. That was pretty sweet. And right as I was about to say the scorline would be the same as the WC 3rd place game.

89th minute: Germany doing a bad job killing time. And a nervous ball. But Postiga with a foul to get Germany off the hook.

90th minute: Four minutes of stoppage. Germany gets deep and the cross is blocked. Looked like it should have been a corner. Instead it's Portugal with more pressure and some nice one-touch passing. They get a corss in deep from Nani and from the back post it's headed back to the 6. Germany clears.

91st minute: But only for a second as the ball comes back to Potugal and Postiga sends a shot over the cross bar.

93rd minute: And another great cross from Nani. Portugal not going away. It comes back out and Nani collects it again, and another great cross, but Postiga is whistled for a foul. Lehmann with a long GK. Final minute here.

94th minute: Final seconds. A long pass to Ronaldo who gets it and sends it back to the middle of the box. Nobody there. It ends up downfield where Podolski gets in. He takes a shot that Ricardo collects.

Whistle.

Whoa... Neverous moments there from Germany and Big Phil is going to kick himself for not getting Nani in the game early as he had about 5 seeing eye crosses late in the match that all could have been trouble. But Germany gets the win and moves on to the semis. Thanks for playing Portugal. Really, they made a game out of it late when it seemed all but done.

See everyone back here tomorrow for Turkey (UF's adopted team) and Croatia.

Night folks.

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The Good, The Bad, The WTF: Euro 2008 Edition

This post, my friends is going to be a mess. As long as you know that going in, we'll all be okay. Inside, we will break down each competing country's home and away jersey and file it into the categories Good, Bad and WTF. Pretty simple, huh?
For ease of my poorly HTMLing soul, I will only provide links to each shirt instead of trying to force them all into the Blogger template. Trust me, if you've seen how Blogger can mangle posts by screwing up pictures, this is a good thing.

Onwards and upwards, my friends. Here we go.

Group A
Switzerland Home Away Switzerland wear Puma jerseys. In what will quickly become a theme in this post, Puma jerseys all look cookie-cutter. They have a template, switch colors where necessary, and affix the necessary badges. Boring. What I like about the Swiss shirt is the badge. That kind of artsy rendering of their national association where they also fit in the white cross. However, these are Puma jerseys, so the verdict is:
Home and Away: Bad
Czech Republic Home Away Plain. Boring. Go home. I do like the blue piping on the home shirt, and the Czech badge is one of the more interesting entries, full of history, for those into that. But it is simply not enough to overcome the crappiness of being a Puma shirt.
Home and Away: Bad
Portugal Home Away There is something wrong with the Portugal home shirt. We here at UF could not quite put our finger on it, but we hate it. It could be the wrong hue, or it could just be the too tight fit. We hated it all the same. On the other hand, we were much more sympathetic to the white shirt. It looks a lot better, but, in the end, we found it a little plain.
Home and Away: Bad
Turkey Home Away Now we're talking. It may still be a hangover from their unbelievable victory over the Czechs on Sunday, but these are both very nice shirts. The home shirt can look a little like a 'Boro effort, I'm sure, but it dazzles nonetheless. And that away shirt, my goodness. Two teams made solid use of baby blue accents this tournament, and Turkey is one of them.
Home and Away: Good

Group B
Austria Home Away A mixed bag. Once again, we are stuck with Puma templates, but Austria does something a little right here. It's not in the home shirt, really, though it should rate a "meh" instead of its final grade. The winner here is the away shirt. Menacingly black with a little flag flair thrown in at the collar.
Home: Bad; Away: Good
Croatia Home Away Did we even get to see the all-checkerboard shirt yet? I don't recall. You have to give them respect for sticking with such and irritating-to-the-eyes shirt for all of these years. As for the blue away shirt, man, I don't know. And for that, it perfectly fits the WTF category. Safe to say I would not want to sport either one of these walking around my town.
Home and Away: WTF?
Germany Home Away Poor Germany. Forever saddled with a white shirt that they are not entirely happy with, so they fuck around with it. This year's entry feels unbalanced. Too much black in the striping, not enough red or yellow. At least it keeps us away from the away shirt. Seriously, this is not a look for top tier international football. This is a training top. Even though I kind of like the gold stitching on the black background, I hope they never have to wear it.
Home: Bad; Away: WTF?
Poland Home Away Poland, the home of unattractive football. They never looked good playing in the Euros, and these shirts did not help. Blandest of them all.
Home and Away: Bad

Group C
Romania Home Away Romania's shirts this year felt like a throwback to USA '94. Sadly, the team did not perform in the same manner. The worst part of it all is that they totally rip off the New York Cosmos badge. Anyway, 14 years is too soon to do a throwback jersey. Well, I write that, but I can't hate on the home jersey. I like it.
Home: Good; Away: Bad
France Home Away I am not a fan of the extra crap going across the middle of the French home shirt. They do, however, get credit with me by having their flag pop up inside the adidas stripes on the arms. Throw in that nice, newish badge of the rooster and you have a winner. God help me, I like the garish red away shirt as well. Two winners.
Home and Away: Good
Netherlands Home Away The Dutch are always hard to figure out. They have to use that bright orange which pays homage to a royal family line that no one likes. Sometimes they pull it off, and sometimes it is painful. This tournament, they pulled it off, sometimes. The Dutch were the second team to tastefully use Nike's new baby blue accent by pairing the orange shirt with baby blue socks. And it totally worked. However, when they reverted to orange socks yesterday, it all looked horrible. Also, nice try, but you can't work in your flag on the collar without it looking like you won First Grade attendance medals. As for the away shirt, it divides us. But, I'm the one writing here, and I hate it. So, there you go. We do seem to be unified in liking the cyborg numbering though.
Home: Good, with qualifications; Away: WTF?
Italy Home Away Italy stick with the basics. Once again, this is a Puma top, but it's not quite as bad as the red and white ones. This gets a passing grade for the gold at the neck. The away jersey, though, is run of the mill and boring.
Home: Good; Away: Bad

Group D
Spain Home Away I think we were a bit undecided by these. The home jersey is nothing out of the ordinary, but it works well. That light gold away shirt, though, is rather atrocious. Hopefully, Spain will not be required to trot it out on their way to winning this year's tournament.
Home: Good; Away: WTF?
Russia Home Away These had potential, especially the away shirt, but the execution is off. I am all for integrating you nation's flag into the shirt. I don't like it when doing so means that I have to fill in the blanks for you. The white shirt loses the top stripe of the flag and the red shirt loses the bottom stripe of the flag. Why not go with a blue away shirt so that one can easily make out the flag running across the torso? Nike FAIL.
Home: Bad; Away: WTF?
Greece Home Away Thanks for coming and bringing the same kit from 2004. Did you think that would work? Okay, the sublimated flag print on the away shirt is nice, but no dice.
Home and Away: Bad
Sweden Home Away It's always tough to deal with the Swedish shirts. The combo of yellow and blue is a nice one, but they just use too much yellow sometimes. If only I could get a reason to really like a bunch of yellow Swedish shirts. Oh, here's one. The away shirt is a tough one. In some pictures, it looks black, which would be a bold move, but in others it looks navy, which is kind of boring. Still, since Swedish girls will wear them and get pictured in them, they are both winners.
Home and Away: Good

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Euro 2008 Liveblog: Switzerland v. Portugal

My last liveblog of Euro 2008 for a little bit, and I leave you with Switzerland v. Portugal. Bring in the models!

Swiss model Michelle Hunziker: Not a fan of "Swiss Miss" jokes

Portuguese model Diana Chaves: Dated Ronaldo (but who hasn't?)

Join me after the jump to watch the Iberian Stepovers against the Chocolate Kings.

The Switzerland starting XI for coach Jakob Kuhn:

GK - Zuberbuhler
DEF - Magnin (C); Senderos; Muller; Lichtsteiner
MID - Vonlanthen; Inler; Fernandes; Behrami
ST - Yakin; Derdiyok

The Portugal starting XI for coach Luiz Felipe Scolari:

GK - Ricardo
DEF - Ferreira; Alves; Miguel; Pepe
MID - Meira (C); Veloso; Meireles
ST - Quaresma; Postiga; Nani

This match is being played at St. Jakob Park in Basel.

Centre official: Konrad Plautz (AUS)
Assistant referees: Markus Mayr (AUS); Egon Bereuter (AUS) (I guess Venkman couldn't make it)
4th official: Ivan Bebek (CRO)

Switzerland have already been eliminated, and Portugal have already won the group, so there isn't much to play for. In fact, Scolari has sat Deco and Ronaldo for this match, not wanting to risk them.

So, given the circumstances, I am sure that everyone is watching the Turkey-Czech Republic match. But, just in case you weren't able to tape/Tivo/DVR this match, feel free to peruse the liveblog as I abuse myself by sitting through this meaningless match. Don't worry, I'm taping the other match and will watch it immediately after I am done here.

00:01 - And we're off!

00:02 - Hello? Hello? Is this thing in? You're all playing in the other liveblog, aren't you? If you were smart, you would actually watch that game, and read this liveblog at the same time.

01:00 - And the discussion of Big Phil's move to Chelsea purely for the money starts up by the announcers. Apparently, they were listening to Mike Georger.

02:10 - Free kick for Portugal taken by Miguel, but the ball ends up harmlessly at Zuberbuhler's feet. (Insert Ferris Beuller joke here)

04:10 - Magnin pushes Nani off the ball, because Nani weights ~127 pounds. The Portuguese looking discombobulated.

06:38 - Vonlanthen pulls a stepover in front of Miguel, who seems confused by it. The Portuguese counter-attack and the ball comes in to the 6 off a cheeky crossover pass from Quaresma, but Postiga is offsides and puts it over.

07:59 - The Swiss come down the other end, but Ricardo gets to the ball in the air before Vonlanthen.

09:40 - The referee awards a couple of cheap fouls to Portugal, the second after Behrami nudges Quaresma off the ball. Nani takes the ball after the free kick, but the Swiss close him down.

12:18 - The Swiss play the ball in to Yakin, but he is ruled offsides. The Swiss are still going with the All-Turk strike force of Yakin and Derdiyok, so we may see some goals today.

13:40 - Nani dances through the Swiss (cheese!) midfield, but Senderos (really?) clears the ball.

14:40 - Derdiyok dribbles the ball into the box and it takes a deflection of Ferriera, who eventually clears it out. The corner is taken and immediately put out. The second corner results in a half-assed clearance by Ricardo. Behrami takes a follow-up shot, but it is deadened off a Portuguese defender, and Ricardo picks it up.

17:00 - Free kick for Portugal from 40 yards, and the ball comes blistering into the box. Pepe gets a touch, but Zuberbuhler gets a hand on it and the ball goes off the bar and is cleared.

19:10 - Yet another free kick, as Inler dumps Quaresma. The ball is played in to Alves, who heads it toward the goal. Zuberbuhler makes a relatively easy save.

21:48 - Ball driven in by Magnin, but played out for a Swiss throw-in. The ball comes back in and Inler takes a great shot that Ricardo just barely tips over. The ball from the corner is played to the back post and headed down, but Ricardo gets a boot on it.

23:00 - A poor back pass to Zuberbuhler leads to him coming out of net and turning the ball over . Nani puts the ball into Postiga at the 6, but Senderos clears the weak shot.

24:30 - Miguel turns the ball over in midfield, but Vonlanthen makes a mess of the steal with a poor shot.

25:40 - Tommy Smyth tells us, perhaps for the 17th time this tournament, that Vonlanthen is the youngest player to ever score at the Euro when he put one in 4 years ago.

26:42 - More like the Gunner we know, Senderos fouls Nani (that sounds familiar). The resulting free kick is taken by Nani and the ball curls in to Zuberbuhler, who was fouled by Postiga. Apparently, Yakin was giving a yellow card for dissent after the foul, before the kick was taken.

28:01 - Yakin puts in a beautiful ball from a free kick 40 yards out, but Senderos is unable to get a boot on it, and the ball crosses the end line.

28:52 - Ferreira picks up a yellow card for a brutal tackle that catches Behrami (whom Tommy Smyth identifies as Derdiyok) directly in the boot.

31:00 - Yakin takes the free kick, which Ricardo punches out for a corner. The ball comes in from the corner to Yakin, who heads the ball with venom towards the goal, but Ricardo makes a brilliant save.

Precious Roy raises an interesting question. Despite not needing a result, will Big Phil's ego want a win so badly that he inserts Ronaldo if the match is still tied? And if he does, will someone then foul him maliciously and viciously?

35:30 - The Swiss are now booinh Ferreira every time he touches the ball. After some midfield play, the ball gets to Postiga who comes in one-on-one and puts it past Zuberbuhler. He is called offsides, but replays indicate that he was onside. No goal.

36:44 - Yellow card for Vonlanthen after he slams the ball down due to a (in his mind) poor call. He will miss the next match (which is non-existent) for the Swiss.

39:21 - Very long ball down the left side for Derdiyok, but Pepe gets there first and ushers the ball over the touchline.

40:21 - Ferreira off, Ribeiro on for Portugal (Carlton plays for the Portuguese?)

42:33 - Nani goes down in the box, but the referee gives him a wry smile and shakes his head. If it was such a dive, why not give him a yellow? Replays show that his shirt was tugged, but I doubt it was hard off enough to make him fly off his feet the way that he did.

44:20 - Inler has to come off the pitch, as he caught an elbow from Postiga that opened a cut above his eye.

45:00 (+02:05) - HALF-TIME. Switzerland 0 - Portugal 0.

Tommy informs us in a shocked voice that Brazil trails Paraguay 1-0 in a World Cup qualifier.

45:00 - And we're off again!

45:09 - Quick shots in succession from Inler and Vonlanthen, with Ricardo holding on to the second shot.

46:05 - Cross from Nani, but Meireles whiffs on his shot.

47:30 - Cross from Yakin is headed by Vonlanthen, but the ball goes wide right of the goal.

48:21 - Free kick for Portugal from 40 yards comes to Postiga, who heads it wide. Postiga was offsides anyway.

49:18 - Pressure down the right side from Behrami results in a cross in to the 6, but Ricardo deals with it well.

50:12 - After a foul by Ribeiro on Yakin, the Swiss free kick is hit directly to Ricardo.

51:19 - Derdiyok with some pressure, but he pokes it through directly on to Ricardo. The Swiss are getting the better of the pressure so far in this half.

52:10 - Meireles plays the ball through to Veolos, who sends a ball to Nani. The youngster puts the shot off the post and it goes wide.

56:30 - After Magnin gets called for a foul on Quaresma, he grabs his face claiming that Quaresma caught him with a boot. Replay shows that it was more of a slap.

57:54 - Senderos loses the ball and Quaresma blasts a shot, but Zuberbuhler punches it clear. The ball comes back in, but Postiga is offsides.

60:13 - Vonlanthen off, Barnetta on for Switzerland.

61:20 - Inler dances down the left side and plays the ball in to Barnetta, whose touch is put wide. The ball is played in to the 6 off the corner and comes back out, but Ribeiro fouls Barnetta. A quickly-taken free kick goes wide of the net.

63:30 - Ribeiro receives a yellow card for clipping Lichtsteiner.

63:50 - The ball gets played around the edge of the box from Behrami, and it falls to Inler who blasts a shot off the post.

67:20 - Yet more pressure from Barentta and Yakin, but the Swiss can't capitalize.

70:00 - Moutinho on, Veloso off for Portugal.

70:30 - GOAL! Switzerland 1 - Portugal 0. The Portuguese make a mess of a clearance, and a beautiful ball is played through to Yakin, who megs Ricardo for the goal.

73:00 - Postiga off, Almeida on for Portugal.

76:00 - A turnover at midfield leads to a break for Portugal, but Quaresma's attempt to play the ball back in to the middle goes off the defender and directly to Zuberbuhler.

77:49 - Yellow card to Meira for jumping on someone's back. Senderos sends the free kick directly to Portugal. The ball comes in the other direction and Quaresma sends a ball towards the goal that Senderos clears.

80:30 - Some shenanigans that I missed because ESPN cut to the other game for a replay of the Turkish goal, but Miguel (POR) and Barnetta (SUI) are both awarded a yellow card.

81:38 - GOAL! Switzerland 2 - Portugal 0. Barnetta is taken down in the box by Meira, and a PK is awarded (a little softly, I might add). Yakin takes the PK and blasts it home past Ricardo (who dove in the right direction). Hard shot into the upper-left 90.

84:03 - Portugal free kick comes in directly to Zuberbuhler, and the Portuguese are livid about not getting a foul called. Also, Lichtsteiner was subbed off for Switzerland, but it's not clear who came on.

85:15 - Yakin off, Cabanas on for Switzerland.

87:50 - Nani, after a bit of dancing along the touchline, is dumped. The resulting free kick is cleared easily by the Swiss.

Tommy Smyth just referred to a "Jason Timberlake" - what a hip dude.

89:49 - Free kick for Portugal is played, but Alves is called for climbing up the back of a Swiss defender.

90:00 (+01:11) - After a shot from Derdiyok, Fernandes cuts down Quaresma in the middle of the pitch and is awarded a yellow card.

90:00 (+02:05) - FULL TIME. Switzerland 2 - Portugal 0.

Read more on "Euro 2008 Liveblog: Switzerland v. Portugal"...

Euro Trash Day 5: "90th minute substitution"

Today we saw our first team eliminated from the tournament, a relegation-style scrum played in a monsoon, and even more off field drama from Portugal. Lets recap, after the jump.

Portugal 3 - Czech Republic 1: Apparently Portugal's team is valued at $600 million dollars, which is absolutely ridiculous to think about. Which probably explains why Roman Abramovich has made it his goal to employ about half of them. This game was kind of scrappy, and Portugal were somewhat flattered by the scoreline. A team with better finishing than the Czechs would have punished some of the mistakes made by PortuChelsea's backline. Botswinga is going to get exposed in England if he doesn't pay a little more attention to his defensive duties. Ronaldo at least put some focus back on the field by netting his first marker of the tournament. Deco and Quaresma scored the other two for the winning side, while Sionko netted one for the Czechs. The soap opera cranked up again, however, when it was announced that Big Phil Scolari is taking over at Chelsea. I'm not sure its a huge distraction, but the timing seems curious. What if Portugal choke again in the latter stages of the tournament? What exactly does timing the announcement today do for Roman, besides keeping his name in the tabloids? Big Phil can ponder what to do with Nicolas Anelka next year at the Bridge over the next few days, as Portugal have qualified for the next round. 

Turkey 2 - Switzerland 1: Due to the downpour, this one was like a dour Bolton - Wigan affair, but was enlivened by a bit of drama at the end. Arda Turan buried one deep into injury time to eliminate the Swiss, exacting a bit of revenge for their elimination in qualification for the last World Cup. No fights today, either. The Turks now face a do or die match with the Czechs in their final game to determine who advances into the next round. 

Linkage: 

Lego football highlights of the Germany Poland game, fan violence not included. 

Ballack gets a bit of service. Hey yo!

Don't let Jim Rome get wind of this. David Villa fractured his finger while hugging Torres in a goal celebration. 

Non Euro 2008 related:

US roster announced for the qualifiers against Barbados. More Adu, less EJ please. 

Beckhams are the cheapest tippers in Hollywood. [via Red Card]

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Euro 2008 Liveblog: Czech Republic v. Portugal

Welcome to the liveblog for the Czech Republic - Portugal match. The first "tale of the tape": models.

Czech Republic models: Demure

Portuguese models: Teases

As for the actual match, join me after the jump for line-ups and live-bloggisms.

The starting roster for the Czech Republic:

GK - Cech
DEF - Grygera, Ujfalusi (C), Rozehnal, Jankulovski
MID - Galasek, Plasil, Polak, Matejovsky, Sionko
ST - Baros

The starting roster for the Iberian Stepovers:

GK - Ricardo
DEF - Bosingwa, Pepe, Carvalho, Ferreira
MID - Petit, Moutinho, Ronaldo, Deco, Simao
ST - Gomes (C)

Things to note: Milan Baros starting up top in place of Jan Koller. Apparently, bald and old is no way to go through life, son.

Other notes: In order to watch the game in HD and live-blog at the same time, I am running things on my laptop, using my wireless network. So, any outages in updates are due to my running upstairs to power-cycle my router. You've been warned.

00:00 - The Czech Republic national anthem is entitled "Where is my home" - that seems a little maudlin.

2 minutes into the live-blog, and the first comment is a masturbation joke. Well done!

00:01 - And we're off!

00:39 - Carvalho with a ball to nowhere that results in a long ball to Baros on the counter. Baros then commits a foul.

02:40 - Baros is already looking lonely up top, although the Czech Republic are getting good pressure.

04:25 - Throw-in for Czechs leads to absolute shite, as the ball goes across the pitch and rolls out. Ronaldo with the throw for Portugal.

07:17 - GOAL! Portugal 1 - Czech Republic 0. Ronaldo dribbles into the box, and Cech makes the save but the ball flits to Deco who megs Jankulovsky to score.

10:07 -Portugal much more energetic after the goal, applying more pressure down the right side of the pitch. They should be - the goal was against the run of the play and Cech almost made the second save.

11:40 - Another Czech attack leads to a poor long ball. They are definitely looking out of form now, despite several attacks.

14:20 - Ronaldo with his first douchebag move, followed by a shot from Petit, which is taken easily by Cech.

15:00 - Baros gets a shot off, but it is high over the bar. Carvalho breathes easy.

15:50 - Sionko tries to play the ball across the goal mouth, but Portugal clears.

16:15 - Czech corner. GOAL! Portugal 1 - Czech Republic 1. Beautiful header by Sionko off the corner. No chance for the keeper.

18:00 - Tommy Smyth describes the goal as "Andy Gray-esque." Insightful.

19:53 - Petit takes his second shot for Portugal, but it is equally shite. Perhaps the holding midfielder is not the best striker in the world?

22:00 - First yellow of the match for Jan Polak (STUPID MISTAKE!) for a challenge from behind. 50/50 on whether a card is warranted, as he got the ball.

23:00 - Ronaldo down the right side of the pitch, and he gets the ball taken away yet again. Despite setting up the goal, he looks positively human.

23:37 - Nice shot from Deco, moving away from the goal. The ball rises up and to the right, not troubling Cech.

24:01 - Ronaldo gets off a nice shot in traffic despite being surrounded by 4 red shirts, but Cech handles it easily.

24:50 - Pepe gets an arm to the mouth in a collision with Baros going for a header.

28:00 - Corner for Czech Republic after Pepe fails to save the ball from going out. The ball comes across the goal after Ricardo completely mistimed his attempt at a clearance, but the Portuguese eventually boot it out.

30:01 - Yellow card for Bosingwa after Portugal is disposessed and Galasek clears the ball.

31:57 - Another poor ball across the pitch from Petit. At this rate, Scolari may flay him alive at half-time.

32:42 - Ronaldo makes a nice run down the left side of the pitch, eventually winning a throw-in. The ball is played back in but Simao fouls Jankulovski, so the ball goes back to the Czechs.

34:38 - Paolo Ferreira plays a nice ball into the 6, but Czech Republic clears and counters. Baros makes some magic and then plays the ball back into the middle, but the attack breaks down.

37:00 - Carvalho commits the foul on Baros, leading to a free kick in a dangerous spot. The ball goes out wide out to Grygara, who cocks it up.

38:20 - After the ball bounces around a bit, Ronaldo receives the ball and is disposessed by Grygara. The ball comes back out to Moutinho, who takes a poor shot that is easily handled by Cech.

40:08 - Corner for Portugal, delivered short by Simao to Deco. The ball is put back in and cleared by Ujfalusi for another corner. The second corner winds up on the opposite side of the pitch and played out by Portugal.

41:17 - Ronaldo with his first great shot at the match. Left-footer from about 23 yards out, and Cech makes a beautiful diving save. The throw-in leads to nothing.

43:11 - Ronaldo receives the ball in the middle of the pitch, but the ball is taken from him. Ronaldo, after a slight touch from Ujfalusi, goes down faster than a Thai hooker for a $5 bill.

44:45 - We are threatened with Rece Davis and Julie Foudy yet again for the halftime "analysis."

45:00 (+00:35) - Matejovsky commits a foul 30 yards out, and this is the last play of the half. Simao and Ronaldo line up over it, and Ronaldo takes it right at Cech, who gobbles it up.

Half-time and lunchtime - Stouffer's French-bread pizza or Chef Boyardee Spaghetti and Meatballs? Also, 6 comments for my first-ever live-blog? We better be up to 110 by the end of the game, or I am going to develop low self-esteem.

Dear Nike: I am not Dutch. Please revise your commercials accordingly.

45:28 - As the second half starts, Tommy Smyth opines on the brilliance of replacing Jan Koller with Milan Baros. Really? You think so, do you?

46:29 - Petit plays the ball into Ronaldo, who is dumped yet again. Naturally, he pouts and puts up his hand to the ref. Tosser.

47:00 - Corner kick for Portugal leads nothing.

47:30 - Czech Republic pushes forward and Sionko pushes the ball across the goal mouth, which Baros barely misses. The resulting corner leads to nothing.

Our resident Chelsea fan, in a bit of irony, questions the fortitude of Czech defender Grygera. I will not make any Ashley Cole comments. I will not make any Ashley Cole comments.

49:00 - Cech misplays the ball, resulting in a Portugal corner, which in turn leads to nothing. Relatively poor dead ball work from both teams.

51:00 - Tommy Smyth says "surely Ronaldo got tripped there." No, he didn't, and don't call me Shirley you Welsh twit.

52:00 - Gomes receives the ball with his back to the goal at the 18, but he turns and puts his shot straight at Cech.

54:45 - Gomes lopes past Rozehnal after a bad touch, but the Czech defender recovers to put it out for a corner. Simao takes the corner, but it leads to nothing.

56:50 - Free kick for the Czechs from 35 yards. The ball is put into the box and cleared by Pepe.

57:50 - Deco with a beautiful through ball to Simao, and Cech makes an excellent save with his left hand/foot. Good positioning from the keeper.

59:30 - Portugal with yet another opportunity built through the midfield. They are really starting to assert themselves, although the Czechs are defending well.

60:00 - Tommy Smyth opines that perhaps Koller is warming up because Baros doesn't have the fitness to play the full 90 minutes, bolstering his argument by mentioning that Baros was only a substitute in the Portsmouth-Cardiff City final.

61:20 - Corner for the Czechs, and Ujifalusi gets a head on it. It flashes across the goal mouth, but no one can get a head on it.

62:30 - GOAL! Portugal 2 - Czech Republic 1. Ronaldo is fed a ball across the box from Deco and absolutely blasts it home past Cech.

64:40 - Petit chops Jankulovski approximately 17 seconds after the ball is gone, leading to a free kick. (France's Petit >>>>>>>>>>>> Portugal's Petit). The free kick is served well, and Ricardo takes a swing and a miss, but Portugal manages to clear the ball.

66:40 - Corner kick for Portugal. The ball is played short to Simao, who sends it across the box to Pepe, who is 2 yards offside.

67:17 - Vlcek on for Matejovsky for the Czech Republic.

68:31 - Jankulovski sends a ball into the 6-yard box, but it's too close to Ricardo who makes the save.

69:30 - The Czechs get an excellent chance as the ball comes to the far post and is headed back across the goal. Unfortunately, Baros is too short and Ferreira makes the clearance.

69:58 - Petit is down on the pitch. It looks like he may taken a shot to the coin purse on Ferreira's clearance. He is stretchered off.

73:00 - Jan Koller on for Galasek for the Czech Republic. This removes a holding midfielder to add a second striker, so they are clearly still looking to push the pace.

74:00 - Portugal makes their first change, sending on Meira for Moutinho, adding a defensive midfielder.

75:30 - Polak fouls Deco at 20 yards, and Simao takes the free kick directly into the wall.

77:00 - Quickly down the other hand, Plasil plays the ball into Baros, who heads it wide. Sionko was behind Baros, in better position, but he doesn't get his chance.

78:30 - Portugal makes their second change, bringing on Almeida for Gomes. Gomes hands the captain's armband to Ronaldo, which is met by loud jeers from the crowd.

80:00 - Quaresma on for Simao for Portugal.

81:00 - Jankulovski looks at Quaresma, who falls to the ground as if he had been shot.

82:50 - Plasil pushes the ball up the right side of the pitch, and the ball is eventually delivered to Sionko, who forces a save over the bar by Ricardo. The resulting corner leads to nothing.

85:00 - Jarolim on for Plasil in the last substitute of the match. Plasil may be gassed, as he and Sionko have been the best players for the Czech Republic by far.

86:00 - Jarolim gets dumped, leading to a free kick. He is eventually disposessed by Pepe, so he fouls him. The AR is not impressed.

87:47 - Quaresma receives the ball in the box, but his shot is deflected by Jankulovski. The Greek AR is apparently blind, as he awards a goal kick.

88:30 - Free kick from Jankulovski from 35 yards comes too close to Ricardo, who punches it out.

89:46 - Nice run by Baros, who delivers the ball to Koller. He knocks the ball down and plays ti Sionko, who skies it over the net.

90:00 (+00:30) - GOAL! Portugal 3 - Czech Republic 1. A quick free kick by Portugal leads to a ball played through to Ronaldo, who dips his shoulder to draw Cech in and then delivers it to Quaresma for the goal.

90:00 (+03:00) - Full time. Portugal 3 - Czech Republic 1.

Okay kids, that's it for this match. Join me in 30 minutes for Switzerland v. Turkey.

Read more on "Euro 2008 Liveblog: Czech Republic v. Portugal"...

Euro 2008 Live Blog: Portugal v. Turkey

Match number 2 for the day and the tournament pits one of the favorites Portugal against the mighty Turks. Well, they were mighty back in the day. Way back in the day. Portugal is "led" by all-world player Cristiano Ronaldo. But, the Portuguese squad has a lot of other top-notch talent with Quaresma, Deco, Carvalho, Ferreira, Nani and so on. A surfeit of offensive talent with some stout defenders. The question is whether they can play as a team. Whether the Ronaldo Real Madrid saga will weigh him and them down.

Turkey on the other hand. I know absolutely nothing about them. That doesn't mean they aren't good, it just means they are not covered by the English media. I hope they can take Ronaldo down because I am tired of his winking, diving and spotlight chasing. It seems he can't get enough of his name in the headlines and likes to tease his team and suitors. It's sickening. Oh well, such is life. He is supremely talented and a joy to watch really.

Lineups after the jump...

Turkey

23 Volkan Demirel (G)
2 Servet Cetin (D)
4 Gokhan Zan (D)
3 Hakan Kadir Balta (D)
7 Mehmet Aurelio (M)
22 Hamit Altintop (M)
5 Belozoglu Emre (M)
8 Nihat Kahveci (F)
17 Tuncay Sanli (F)
18 Colin Kazim-Richards (F)
26 Mevlut Erding (F)

Portugal

1 Ricardo (G)
4 Bosingwa (D)
16 Ricardo Carvalho (D)
2 Paulo Ferreira (D)
15 Pepe (D)
8 Petit (M)
20 Deco (M)
11 Simão (M)
7 Cristiano Ronaldo (M)
10 João Moutinho (M)
21 Nuno Gomes (F)

You can hit me up on Gmail Chat (thefansattic[at]gmail[dot]com) or on AOL at thefansatticblog.

Still can't find an English feed.

So, I think this will be a 3-1 win for Portugal. There will be 836 stepovers by Ronaldo in this match as he tries to show off to the world and 47 dives.


0:00 And we're under way!

2:00 An early corner for Portugal as they have been on the Turkey half since kickoff.

4:00 An early booking for Kazim Richards. For what? I don't know.

6:00 Ronaldo does a few stutter steps and the pushes to the right into the center of the pitch and skies one over the goal. Like Ronaldo of old.

9:00 Servet Cervin down for turkey after an awkward slide left his left knee folded under him.

11:00 Turkey has a free kick way out on the left sideline about equal with the 18, but it only results in an easy save for Ricardo.

13:00 A very nice buildup by Turkey but in the end the final cross was lacking as the striker could not get on the end of it.

17:00 Turkey is lucky that goal by Pepe was called back as he was in an offside position on the header from a nice cross on the sideline.

18:00 The ref isn't really letting anything go at this point, which will favor Portugal with their technical proficiency.

20:00 Dangerous free kick outside of the box for Turkey that deflects off the wall for a corner, which proves harmless. On the other end, Turkey then concedes a corner.

23:00 Ugh...Portugal is the worst. A bunch of nancies (Simao) that go down with the lightest of touch. I hate that.

Portuguese Manager Felipe Scolari would be played by Gene Hackman in a movie, right?


27:00 I have to say I have been impressed with Turkey so far. The back line has played fairly well and they are counter-attacking creating some opportunities. That's all you can ask I think.

32:00 Deco offside. Portugal is really pushing the attack looking for that first goal. It will come eventually as the Turkish backline is starting to leak.

37:00 Dangerous Portugal free kick just outside the box.

38:00 Ronaldo lined up over it and almost put his side in the lead, but the ball bounced off the far post as Ricardo was beaten well.

41:00 Successive corners but no blood yet for Portugal. Turkey concedes another.

42:00 And another. I think it is officially a siege now.

45:00 +1 And that's the half. 0-0 Turkey must be pleased. Portugal looks dangerous and Ronaldo hasn't had much to do with it.

See you in 15.

Slate has an article up about the best websites and books to read during Euro 2008. The list is incomplete. We were not listed.

46:00 And we're back. Food in me belly and 45 minutes left. I'm ready. I had a nice two-hour pickup game this morning (Pacific Coast time), but didn't sleep much last night.

50:00 High comedy. Simao was taken out just outside the box, but the ref played advantage but Portugal could not capitalize hitting the left post with no damage inflicted. It's like they are the Swiss but with more talent.

53:00 If Turkey can keep Portugal out of the net, they will have to be happy about the result. But, there is an interminable amount of time until the whistle.


60:00 Somebody applied the defibrillator to the Turkish offense. Finally getting some chances again.

62:00 Goal!!! 1-0 Portugal. Pepe with goal after a nice 1-2 with Moutinho Gomes up the middle of the box. Finally. Maybe the Turkish offense should have stayed vegetative.

64:00 Ian writes: not a fan of the portugese kits.

I agree. They are just a bit too tight for my liking.

65:00 Gomes almost makes it 2-0 with a nice header off the crossbar.

68:00 Nani comes on for Gomes and Ronaldo gets the captain's armband. Really? Is he that much of a leader or are they just stroking his ego?

73:00 The ref missed an obvious handball on Simao and Sabrioglu gets a yellow for protesting. Ain't that a bitch.

76:00 Senturk on for Altintop who is not match fit coming back from the dreaded broken metatarsal.

78:00 As Nani holds the ball too long, the announcer on my feed keeps saying "Nani, Nani, Nani, Nani" but he sounds like one of the aliens from that SNL skit where the boyfriend meets the family and they are totally weird eating melted ice cream and very uncomfortable seating.

82:00 Again, Turkey cannot capitalize on its few chances sending a header from a corner wide left. That has to get on frame at a minimum.

85:00 Mike Georger asks "Why doesn't Quaresma play more for Portugal?" A: FIFA caps the number of stepovers a team can have in each match. Portugal doesn't want to exceed the cap and face penalty.

90:00 Turkey just blew another great chance to level. At the spot kick mark, a Turkish player completely whiffed, or as I know it "Fraziered", on a volley as he was unmarked in the area. Turkey really needed to capitalize on its chances to win today and it has been painfully obvious that has not happened.

90:00 +2 Deco off for Meira

90:00 +3 GOAL!!! 2-0 Portugal. Meireles scores the capper and Portugal gets the victory. A game of missed chances on both sides, but Portugal had more chances and finally knocked a couple in.

See you all tomorrow. Not sure if we will have a Live Blog, but most certainly an open thread.

Thanks for stopping by.

Read more on "Euro 2008 Live Blog: Portugal v. Turkey"...

Euro 2008 Preview: Portugal

Today, UF’s continuing Euro 2008 preview takes a gander at that smaller Iberian country, Portugal. In qualifying for the Euro Finals, Portugal was second to Poland in its group, winning 7, drawing 6 and losing only 1. The squad did have the best goal differential in the group. Joining Portugal in Group A are Turkey, Czech Republic and Switzerland.

In my Sweden preview I noted I had no real reason for selecting that nation to preview. There was a reason for choosing Portugal, however. Part of it was looking for hot women (NSFW) to post pictures of, but that's not the main reason. It’s a reason I hate, but I feel like I must come clean about it. After the jump discover the reason.

Cristiano Ronaldo. I am insanely jealous of this young man and I begrudgingly admire him. His talent is still expanding and he still dominates his competition. Yes, he is arrogant, but I am pretty sure I would have some arrogance if my skill was so apparent. Expressing this finally reminds me of Wes Mantooth’s opinion of Ron Burgundy:

From deep down in my stomach, with every inch of me, I pure, straight hate you. But goddammit, do I respect you!

Yes, he flops a bit, is petulant, whines and plays for Manchester United. But, I think even our favorite players do the same to some extent or another, except play for United, but their exploits help not hurt us. Watching him play is an exercise in fantasy—what will he do next?—will he do a cheeky backheel for a goal, a Ronaldo rocket, or is it something new we have never heard or seen? Who knows. It does make watching him a must each week. He is an amazing talent and for that I respect him.

For all of Ronaldo’s singular talent, it will not be enough for Portugal to win Euro 2008. Luckily for them, they oodles of talent elsewhere. Not just talent but “name” talent. Deco. Carvalho. Ferreira. Maniche. Nani. Quaresma. Name and expensive talent. I’d love to have Quaresma on Liverpool’s side.

All of this talent gives them a better than decent shot at winning the title (current odds at 8-1). But, it will be crucial that the talent plays well together as a team and not a side of 11 individuals displaying their respective skills. This will be the key to winning for the team, along with a strong defensive performance. Other distractions could be Manchester City’s pursuit of manager Luiz Felipe Scolari.

Obviously, I like their chances. Plus, Portugal made it to the quarters in Euro ’96, semis in ’00 and was upset by Greece in the ’04 finals. Logic would say that this progression should result in a championship. Logic can be wrong, but that’s beside the point.

Scolari hasn’t named his squad yet, but this is what I could glean from the internet:

GK – Ricardo, Quim (ha, what a great name), Rui Patricio
DF – Jose Bosingwa, Bruno Alves, Marco Caneira, Fernando Meira, Paulo Ferreira, Ricardo Carvalho, Jorge Ribeiro
MF – Raul Meireles, Petit, Maniche, Deco
FW – Cristiano Ronaldo, Nani, Hugo Almeida, Nuno Gomes, Ricardo Quaresma, Ariza Makukula.

(1) Could England beat this team? They lost to them in the World Cup and failed to qualify for Euro ’08. So, no.
(2) Can Portugal win Euro 2008? Yes. They are my pick.
(3) What is their pre-made excuse for not winning Euro 2008? Cristiano Ronaldo. He’s petulant and has a problem it seems stepping up in the big games. If this squad wins he gets the accolades and because he is such a transcendent player right now, he will get the blame.
(4) What is the biggest question mark surrounding their team? Can they play as a team?
(5) Who is their worst player? Cristiano Ronaldo. He is both the best player and can be their worst player. If he sulks and whines he can and will bring down his whole team.

Update - 05/13/08: Portugal has named its Euro 2008 squad. Surprisingly omitted was Inter Milan's Maniche, who was on the 2006 World Cup squad and the 2004 Euro runners-up squad.

PORTUGAL ROSTER:Goalkeepers: Ricardo Pereira (Real Betis, Spain), Quim Silva (Benfica), Rui Patricio (Sporting)Defenders: Miguel Monteiro (Valencia, Spain), Jose Bosingwa (Porto), Paulo Ferreira (Chelsea, England), Ricardo Carvalho (Chelsea, England), Fernando Meira (VfB Stuttgart, Germany), Bruno Alves (Porto), Pepe (Real Madrid), Jorge Ribeiro (Boavista).Midfielders: Raul Meireles (Porto), Joao Moutinho (Sporting), Deco (Barcelona, Spain), Armando Petit (Benfica), Miguel Veloso (Sporting)Forwards: Cristiano Ronaldo (Manchester United, England), Simao Sabrosa (Atletico Madrid, Spain), Ricardo Quaresma (Porto), Nuno Gomes (Benfica), Hugo Almeida (Werder Bremen, Germany), Nani (Manchester United, England), Helder Postiga (Panathinaikos, Greece).

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