Melissa Satta - WAG of Christian Vieri
Welcome to tonight's Last Call. Where you can get a pint and maybe find yourself a bed as nice as the one above... but be careful with the beer goggles, you don’t want to wake up next to this.
Tonight, your host is Unprofessional Foul. Thank you for stopping by our little corner of the blogosphere. We understand that the Last Call folks are a new movement and this is their form of the green wristband protest. We wish you luck in your endeavor.
For those of you not familiar with us, a little background on what we do and who we
UF was the mindspring of Lingering Bursitis way back in late 2007, who wanted to create a blog devoted to entirely to the soccer world and whatever happens to enter into the soccer world. Many of the UF contributors are or were Deadspin commenters, and Deadspin was the social mixer where many of us came together. We also have stretched out our social circle to people beyond the Deadspin milieu. Plus, we even accept social outcasts like Chelsea fans, and fans of the lowly Norwich City and Exeter clubs... we tolerate Manchester United fans at this point but don’t push us too much.
While we focus on soccer/football/futbol/footy (we use the terms interchangeably), we do not believe you have to be a hardcore footy fan to appreciate our “work” because, well, our work still includes hot chicks, stupid things athletes do, and crazy stuff related to football, including fashion.
Some of our favorite posts have dealt with wannabe WAGs (Wives and Girlfriends), female footballers becoming porn stars, and even the introduction of brand new WAGs. But, we also do great liveblogs (we are currently liveblogging the shit out of the Confederations Cup), explain football, rant, and even break some news here and there. We can promise you stuff you will not read about in the “mainstream” sports blogs and, frankly, lots of top notch writing and analysis.
Thanks for visiting and enjoy your stay.
[TFA Note: Apparently there is this blog, The Phoenix Pub, I was not aware of. I have checked it out and it appears to be the Last Call secret headquarters or something. I was supposed to namecheck it. Now I have...check out The Phoenix Pub for all your DUAN-ey updates.]
Bottoms up!!
Posts
256 comments:
1 – 200 of 256 Newer› Newest»Someone want to explain this to the idiot sect? Which I may or may not be, and in fact am, included within.
seconded.
por favor.
Last Call is the former Deadspin Commenters' revolt. The one's that got axed in the Great Purge a few weeks back, and the sympathizers who didn't get axed, decided to take their page views elsewhere. They have set up a little rotation for the nightly commenting sessions and we volunteered for tonight. We'll see what happens.
It's deadspin's former DUAN, migrant style. So I'd expect it to get crazy in here soon.
We hope to have some visitors this evening beyond what's normal. Some may or may not be intimately familiar with the goings on here.
Ultimately we think we're just going to confuse everyone.
do you like the pics?
I hadn't seen Satta before. She's nice. American too. She's like a female Giuseppe Rossi. Born in America, but been in Italy for some time and appears to be doing her best work over there. I wish her the best.
She's an American-Italian I should clarify.
I hope she can score against an American...
I'm not entirely sure what I mean when I say that, but the gist is that I would have sex with her.
She's no Mrs. Buffon.
well, this should be interesting.
completely new format.
I had noticed that DUAN was empty recently. Swing and a miss eh Gawker?
Welcome!
Different format, how so?
Because of our archaic commenting system?
okay, two questions:
1) do I have to keep typing in a verification word each time i feel like saying something?
2)why no link love for The Phoenix Pub?
"do I have to keep typing in a verification word each time i feel like saying something?"
Much like the literacy tests and poll taxes of yore, it keeps the Man United fans away.
if you have a gmail account or OpenID you shouldn't have to.
Phoenix Pub? What's that?
alright...i played around with the comment settings for tonight...lets see how it works now.
No verification now TFA.
For what it's worth, it always makes me verify using my gmail/blogger too.
@TFA: Haven't been out much, huh? The Phoenix Pub. Our new blog, what spindead evolved into.
And thanks, I signed up for an account, and that funky box is gone.
Oh man, now there's no buffer for me to rethink my dumb comments. Not that it usually stops me, but it's nice to know it's there.
No...I haven't been a DUAN participant in some time. I'm too busy looking for stories about WAGs and this new thing in my house, some people call it a wife, likes some attention now and then in the evenings.
Evenin all. Nice place
@NY Kid: hey babycakes, how the hell are ya?
This is weird...How is everyone?
Also, I'm too lazy to figure out how to change my username. It's MarissaExplainsItAll
"some people call it a wife"
Had I known that I probably wouldn't have sent that last email ... hide the computer.
Can we just widen that to Fuck Italy? Except for the Pope, cause that just seems like bad karma.
Hello everyone. Or is it what's up cheesedicks?
Good to see someone is looking out for my people, Mike.
Man I did not know this was another footy site, I am outta here. Gonna go get my dick jokes somewhere else.
Well, technically Vatican City is it's very own country independent of Italy, so the pope wouldn't be included in Fuck Italy comments, unless he were Italian then maybe. But, the current one is a former german Nazi so that doesn't cut it.
And, I rather like Italy as a country. good food, nice women, great history. not a bad place to visit.
Nice to see you to strmking.
@Sculptor - Meh, it's complicated and too much to get into.
I suppose the closest I've ever been to Italy is eating pizza in Chicago.
So .... how about that Messi commercial during the games today? Pretty badass right?
I've got nothing. Less than usual really.
"I suppose the closest I've ever been to Italy is eating pizza in Chicago."
I'll say it ... Chicago pizza, and frankly most American pizza, blows Italian pizza out of the water. Having lived over yonder, the pizza there is comparable to the ninety eight cent Mister P's Frozen Pizza you can get at the grocery store.
But you can't beat a liter of wine for two Euro.
Anyone who thinks that Chicago pizza is better than NY pizza is a Philistine.
And Milan is a shithole.
The best pizza in Chicago isn't even 'Chicago style.'
My votes are for Piece and Pequod's.
@Fan Attic. Just kiddin. I like the Foozball. My son is learning so I am getting into it.
(makes loud vuvuzela noise for 90 minutes)
For the record: I was in South Africa a month ago. I saw zero vuvuzelas. So I'm guess I missed that plague.
@NY Kid: NY represent! I knew I liked ya.
Georger: you mean the one I saw about 4 times during halftime yesterday?
I thoroughly enjoyed FIFA's 'we don't know how to stop the vuvuzelas' statement today.
Apparently confiscating them at the gate wouldn't make sense.
I'm guessing.
I'm also guessing I can't spell.
Confusion reins. How do I get my wordpress id to show? Sorry if this has been explained already.
Adam, Georger: the one where Zidane inexplicably gets a Boston accent and pronounces "spark" as "spaahhhk?"
(956): I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Sometimes, texts from last night is just an amazing site.
Indeed Adam the very same, I believe I saw it three times during halftime this afternoon.
@EF - I was offended that they didn't use Zizou's actual voice. No way that's him.
I don't really get that commercial. So Messi got his talent from being electrocuted?
Hey TFA! Thanks for the linky. Heh. Secret HQ, that's funny. And no, I'm not Jean Valjean.
i don't know...my comment box has a little circle you can click for the openID stuff. but as i have already learned today...sometimes the comment box is different for the author of the blog.
I didn't have the sound on when I watched it.
(I'll leave that meaning to the masses)
Yeah, Zizou actually doesn't have the best English skills.
@Teek: that's how I got my skills.
Hey LC, getting ready for softball. We got crazy hits today TPP folks.
I know using a Blogger/gmail ID you change how it appears from Blogger itself, I'm guessing wordpress is the same?
TFA, I get the OpenID box too, so anyone wishing to use their WP account can just click open ID
Every time I do the open ID it says I don't own that name.
@FD: yeah? how crazy? did we meet the goal? (yes, I'm too lazy to go look)
jmjr735: You don't own that name. You are merely a trustee for it until the next person has it.
Wow, reading that German Women's Team porno post I completely missed somebody giving me shit for suggesting that the USA team do the same. Yeah, it's a shame women don't get paid the same in sports as men do, especially when they draw just as many if not more fans! Wait that last part isn't even remotely accurate? Oh.
Georger: Women have feelings, too. At least that's what they keep telling me shortly before ending a relationship.
If anyone else is in Pittsburgh or close..I've never seen a storm like this. A few in Florida on vacation were close, but nothing like this.
"If anyone else is in Pittsburgh or close."
I'm in State College ... so, I guess I have something to look forward to tonight?
Driving back to the Burgh tomorrow for the Phish show though.
@Mike: well, if they'd play nekkid, they'd have more fans than every professional men's league in the USA COMBINED.
Wait, that's not realistic? Damn.
*looks at radar*
HOLY SHIT
People still having commenting issues?
Is it anything like this?
@ Mike
Yeah, thunderstorms, hail, roads covered with boxes, lights out, cans, fruit and various other things. I had to go pick my friends up and there was like a foot of water on the on street. You could swim it's that bad.
*gets curious, also looks at radar*
FUUUUUCK.
@TFA: I don't seem to be funny. Is that a commenting issue?
@Teek: It's pointing *right* at Happy Valley!
Yeah my wordpress id isn't working. Irritating because I'm sure it's something I'm doing wrong.
It would explain all the 'bird shit' on my car this morning.
Oh dear. Having this little party on a Blogger blog means I get to comment as own self, not my avatar. Worlds are colliding!
@EF: yes, but it's not something i can change from within blogger.
@Phil: you mean you can't change your screen name and avatar? How am I supposed to recognize you if you're not a Muppet?
ok, we are going to live dangerously tonight. i have done that when drunk and, well, i was a little worried the next day.
I have turned off the commenting prophylactics ...you can even be "anonymous", but i've always found that guy to be a dick.
@TFA: No worries. I'm watching Schindler's List, so I'll have some good jokes later.
Ah, here's tonight's pub. What's good, tonight?
@Sculptor?!?: Maybe I can get my screen name to show up this way?
@TFA: Yeah, anonymous has said some shitty things to me over the years. And he/she might be a transsexual, depending on the mood.
I wouldn't talk shit about anonymous, he'll stand outside UF Headquarters and Rickroll you constantly.
Is s/he of any relation to Abby Normal?
And scream FIRST no matter what.
BLUCHER!!
There wolf, there castle.
@Teekuts, You can get the Scientologists to take care of him for you, but then Alec Baldwin \eats your brain.
two hundred comments and we paginate. UF has never paginated more than once in a post...like most guys.
prepares to take the dirtiest screenshot I've ever taken
What is the record of number of comments on UF anyway?
Two hundred and change. Probably 'Pool v. United or something.
@Roy: we can be WHORES!!! and just post a bunch of random comments if you like.
Hull/LFC and United/Spurs back to backer in December definitely had well over 200.
And it's sad I remember that.
I love Ice Cream Cake. Just had some actually.
//random thoughts
Well, well, well. Look what the cat dragged in.
I think it's 314 comments in a CL Open Thread earlier this year. I can't recall any more than that in any post.
Also, no need to post just to get the comments up. We'll do this without the help of supplements.
I'm gonna go and interact with other humans or something. Be good, kids. Don't mind any drunken ramblings from me later.
@Manny: so what are we, grapefruits?
I hate the Yakees but Wang is going to make me feel like a genius. 1-hit through 3. High-ish pitch count but the Nats probably came in with a plan to take lots of pitches and work their ABs.
I'm the guy who is waiting for Almost Heroes to finish downloading so I can watch a movie before I go see I Love You Man at the dollar theatre.
I'm fairly sure that means I'm not human.
That's totally worth $1. Maybe even $2.
Oh and since there is a bit of the 2006 Paris Youth Riots going on, I'd like to take a moment to say fuck you to the writer at Deadspin who continually cracks jokes about Pittsburgh's economy. It's doing just fine thankyouverymuch.
/serious comment
@Mike: Why bust on Pittsburgh? Is that joker from Cleveland or something?
/ex Clevelander
@MikeGeorger: I noticed that a couple days ago. Pittsburgh is doing very well. We here in Cleveland could learn a thing or two. Whoever that is at DS is a douche.
Evening folks. It's just me, James, posting with my open ID...
How is everyone tonight?
Shockingly it's the same writer who finds it hard to write a hockey post without making a comment about how nobody cares about hockey.
If you can't find Versus, you shouldn't be allowed to touch a remote or any technology higher than it on the totem pole.
I don't know whether to laugh or not. Kige is live tweeting Wipeout.
@Sculptor That show is nuts... How is he keeping up?
Is that the American version of Most Extreme Elimination Challenge?
@saint: Poorly. And I personally can't stand the show; the original version is much better. I mean, really, you fall off, you're DONE. None of this move to the next obstacle bit. Effing pansies
/wouldn't make it past stage 1
@ all. An enon professor here told me that Pittsburgh is doing fine because a majority of jobs are either in hospitals or at Pitt, all of which are safe.
Hello dere new people!
Evening, friends. How goes it in here tonight?
Evening, guys. Nice to see the party going down at a soccer blog.
I'm not going to say the word, but everyone should look at the number of hits the yankees have.
@magics: well enough; the Indians are busy shitting the bed (again), so i'm looking at "the mummy returns" whilst waiting for the late footy match.
how goes it for you?
@Sculptor: I feel your pain. Of the Jays' starting rotation from last year, four are on the DL (Marcum, McGowan, Halliday and Litsch) and another's with the Yanks (Burnett). Plenty of our bullpen guys and replacement starters are out as well, making life extra fun! Winning so far tonight, but who knows if that will last...
@Sculptor: Tired. Work has been ridiculous the past few days. I've been busier than a 5 dollar whore during Fleet Week.
It's worth mentioning that these thunderstorms are more important than anything that would be on nbc, cbs or fox right now.
Great, more rumors about Mascherano to Barcelona popping up.
I swear to God, Rafa, if you let him leave, you deserve worse than what I wanted for you last year.
@Andrew: thanks. hell, i still remember when Pat Tabler got sent to you guys.
I think I need to post a comment to be a part of this. For those non footy fans who are here for the first time, if anyone asks who your favorite team is, just say Norwich City. Each time you do, one less kitty is suffocated.
@Sculptor: Ha, he's one of the Jays' broadcasters now. Interesting guy.
@Georger - I figure the Catalan press will start with the [insert name here] to Barca rumours shortly. With [insert name here] being everyone of some quality not in a Madrid shirt.
@Kopper: How many kitties die if I say ManU?
/not a ManU fan, just want to know.
And speaking of ManU, where's RedDevil? I need my swear-of-the-day fix!
Hey Georger,
1: You coming to the Foul Up?
2: Mascherano is a cheating diving, Argy girly man with no balls.
The Man U fans keep the kitty landfills full to the brim. If not Norwich City, other acceptable answers are any non-premiership side other than Ipswich.
"You coming to the Foul Up?"
Without knowing what the Foul Up is, I'm going to say yes.
Norwich City
Norwich City
Norwich City
Norwich City
Norwich City
Norwich City
Oh man (done)..Goodnight.
Emanuel Eboue only wants to go to a big club. This will end well.
Funny story... Was at the drivethrough of my favorite fast food eatery and the bored high school guy who took my money noticed my Arsenal sticker and asked if I am in the army.
That's all I got!
Wipeout is just kind of dumb. MXC is great because of the sheer japanesee-ness of it, as well as the hilarious low-brow puns and such. Wipeout has neither.
Foul Up is the unofficial name of our venture to Baltimore to see Chelsea v. AC Milan.
Call yourself a regular?
Someone please help him.
Evening Last Call and new place peoples.
How much money do you think one episode of Wipeout costs to produce? I'm saying $100,000 tops.
Georger, Isn't that where you're gonna throw a pie in BD's face?
Oh yeah I'm coming to Baltimore. I hadn't seen that name thrown around as of yet.
But, I don't like teh kittehz. So I'm gonna hafta say ManU x 10 to the 23rd power.
/that should rid most of Jersey of the feral cat population..
@ Teeknuts and Spectator. Stop watching shite television, this explains why you both wank to re-runs of Kojak.
Speaking of bad adaptations of things from japan, has anyone seen the commercials for the american version of this? You know it's gonna suck.
@Georger
Then I may have a surprise for you. It won't be a Jimmy McNulty tour of hoe houses either.
@Teeknuts
Don't make me come at you sir. I do the pie chucking around these parts. Knuckle pies.
I don't speak Japanese ... CALL THE EMBASSY!
Kojak? Please. I've got this episode of Matlock.
soc-cer?
I kid, I kid. You know me!!1
@Teeknuts
That was good, but it aint this...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JA6kSTWq318
or this..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XXZKv6CT2aQ
Strawberry frosted PopTart for the win!
Is there anything good on tonight, or is tonight another 'Layer Cake' night?
@EF
How about 25 episodes of Numberwang followed by series 3 of word wang.
Better than Layer Cake any old day.
Three . . .
Six . . .
Nine . . .
8.2 . . .
Is that numberwang?
@EF: I'm guessing there isn't much (good) on tv. And I've not heard that before - isn't shagging yer girl on top of some cake just a waste of cake?
Is Wang's ERA number below 30.00 yet?
Those were...something. I loved when they rotated the board.
@Sculptor: Depends on the cake. And the girl.
We like those decimals!
Das is numberwang...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJa7TAnR9SA&feature=related
If Mascherano is sold I will fly to Barcelona to personally smash Walter Tamer's testicles with a sledgehammer.
@Teeknuts.
Could you ever imagine being content with Owain Tudor-Jones from Swansea? Am I ill?
I thought Rafa just said this morning that Mascherano and Alonso were off limits. Is he trying to raise cash for David Villa now?
(BTW: No word verification=awesome)
Losing both would be extremely stupid, like..like signing Robbie Keane. Ha..As if someone would do that!
BD:
I like NC's moves so far...then again, wtf do I know? But poaching the some of the best League One talent seems like a good way to start your triumphant return to the Colaship...
I'm not sure but I believe that's the first reference to Pat Tabler at UF.
/Proud owner of an autographed Brook Jacoby card.
@Teeknuts
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Owain_Tudur_Jones
At least Gareth Barry's out of the picture and we won't have to deal with the retarded algebra of "Barry + Liverpool > Alonso + Mascherano + Liverpool" anymore.
@jjf3
Me too, now if we can only add Ricky Lambert, Mickey Nelson and Andy Bishop I'll be over the moon.
All I'm gonna say is that Welsh is a fucked up language. He played for a club named Porthmadog for god's sake.
Iwan Roberts is Welsh and he is God like!
@Goat: Don't start with me about Jacoby, you will not win.
/has all but three cards
//has a thing for 3rd basemen
@BD:
Any idea why he chose not to continue at Swansea, and instead dropped a league down? I've seen nothing that explained his motivation, unless he wants to play a full season and re-establish his worth (presuming doing so would coincide with making him even more valuable to NC?)
Just curious...
@Sculptor: Perhaps mine will help complete your collection. It's yours for the low, low, price of $100. Or a straight up trade for a signed Rich Yett card.
@jjf3
I assume he fancies playing for a big club in front of a full house rather than at Swansea. Not to mention that they just lost their manager and their future is in doubt. Plus we chased him, made him feel wanted. His contract was up soon and he chose to join us. Smart lad. He can be back in the CCC next season, at a decent club. Besides, even in League One we pay more a week than Swansea ;)
Welcome to Wales, next stop on this train is Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch
@Goat: Oooh, Rich Yett! I'll trade ya a Shawn Hillegas and a Candy Maldonado...
@BD:
yeah, I saw some of the attendance numbers on Sky Sports recently, and I think (not certain), that your Colaship team beat out my EPL one by a few hundred per game...(and we both got smoked by Derby).
Other question: given my only recent interest, I think I've only seen 2 NC games, and each was under a different manager. Much was made of Swansea's passing style, and his ability to fit into that style in the MF. Is Gunn pushing that type of style at NC (not that I could make any serious determination from 1 game I saw, + or -)?
I made it a 'Layer Cake' night . . . numberwang just doesn't do it for me the way Siena Miller does.
@Sculptor: Or Andy Alanson and Junior Naboa. If we're going to be talking shitty Tribe players, we could be here all night.
@Goat: two more, both catchers: Chris Bando and Jeff Manto. Oy.
oooooh, Chris Bando! Sal's not-so-talented son!
Holy shit, that's a name I haven't heard in ages....
Carmen "Carmello" Castillo ftw.
@jjf3
We have always been a passing side, Norwich fans are happy in defeat if we play football. Thats our game, unfortunately you saw a couple of awful outings, there have been many recently.
As for our Attendance, it's 25,000 full every week and 16th best in England across all divisions.
well it only took 3 hours but I think I finnally figured this thing out.
We seem to have shut down conversation with our Tribe talk. That's okay, though, I can talk about shitty Browns players, too (or Force players, Mr. Haaskavi).
Batting fourth, and playing second base, Tony Berrrrrrrnazarrrrd!
/stadium announcer'd
They're all watching footy. Hubby refuses to switch over, so I'm stuck with the Mummy 2
Sculptor, your husband sounds like hesari tarred for not watching footy.
@Teek: That's a pretty good primer.
Are you talking about the big DC United-Seattle Sounders match? Who's doing the liveblog?
@BD:
I knew the situation, which is why I didn't make a judgement.
Good to know Gunn/club would want to play that way. Sounds like he's perfect, then.
I'll be at the Foul Up, or whatever it gets called...
I'm already pretty sure of one trip to England this fall (Ewood and Emirates with an Arse fan), but if that can also be extended into a Norwich trip, or as a separate weekend, I'd enjoy a chance to see the Canaries at Carrow Road...
anyone know where they moved the footy match to? the frakkin' CWS looks to be going extra innings, and god forbid tWWL actually let anyone know where they're airing the game.
@ERP: yeah, he is, he married me. i got him to agree to switch, but we can't find the fuckin' game.
looks like they're praying the game ends before the 9:38 start time CT
Tell me, what are DUAN in exile's preconditions for return to Deadspin? Knowing, of course, that Daulerio won't apologize.
Quick! Somebody go over to Google News, click "image version" for the view style- they're using a Simpsons picture for a story
(it's the "technical difficulties" screen w/ the drunk cameraman)
@Anon: come out from behind that mask, and maybe you'll get answers.
Paginate!
So this is..Choco Taco. Glad to have found the real DUAN.
Anyone like the new Dirty Projectors Album? It's slowly getting to the top albums of 2009 list for me.
Hey just stopping by to say hey.
Is this the new duan?
Oh, and the article they're using the Simpsons pic for? About the Federal Transportation Bill not passing anytime soon.
Any other place to catch the Seattle/DC game, or are we completely at the mercy of the College Pingball World Series?
@Evan, @fattyB: Yes, Last Call is the ex-pat DUAN. It rotates, the schedule can be found on Phoenix's sidebar (TFA linked to us at the bottom of this post - I don't want to abuse the host by pimping). Tomorrow it's at Style Points.
Thanks for the tip about the Simpsons image. I downloaded it and will use it at every turn.
Also, this is just a quick hi and good night to all my Last Callers.
@Sculptor: You watchin' your Indians chop up shit in the bottom of the 9th? Wouldn't mind a comeback like that for the Royals tonight...ugh.
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