Thursday, June 18, 2009

Confederations Cup Liveblog: USA v. Brazil

C'mon dude, finish your chances

Could it get much worse for the USMNT? The difficult loss to Italy was dominated by the New Jersey boy, and yet, this time, the US have no such straw man available unless we suddenly find out that Kaka was born in Kansas City.

Gut check time. Stand up and be counted. Can Bradley's Boys minus the terrier-like Ricardo Clark do enough to stifle this Brazilian attack? Can they get something against the sieve-like Selecao defense?

We could be in for a high-scoring game. I feel like if Jozy found his left foot somewhere amid his luggage, the US can score against Brazil. It's just a question of whether they can keep the scoring down in their half. To that end, the mantra is simple: don't give Kaka and friends acres of midfield space to shoot from distance.

Join us for the fun after the jump. Oh, and the vuvuzelas! We're not sick of those, right?

Preamble: Thoughts on the final score? I can't bring myself to watch the 30-minute pregame show, which will undoubtedly involve Rece Davis and Alexei Lalas using some ESPN technology to display their alarming lack of knowledge about what's going on. I also pray that Tommy Smyth has nothing to do with things today. He's like a cliche-ridden, clueless Irish vuvuzela.

Preamble: Of course, I relent and tune in. Harkes and Lalas are all over the lack of pressure in defensive midfield, and of course, they show the goals again. Not much xenophobic rage toward Rossi. Yet.

STARTING LINEUPS and BENCHES and such:
USA, USA, USA, USA (4-3-2-1 ish, maybe just a 4-3-3-): Howard - Bornstein, Demerit, Onyewu, Spector - Beasley, Kljestan, Bradley - Donovan (c), Altidore, Dempsey.
Subs: Bocanegra, Casey, Pearce, Davies, Wynne, Califf, Guzan, Adu, Torres, Feilhaber, Robles, "Clark" (he's suspended, but still listed).

THE SAMBA KINGS OF BRAZIL (4-1-2-1-2): Julio Cesar - A Santos, Miranda, Lucio (c), Maicon - Gilberto Silva - Felipe Melo, Ramires - Kaka - Robinho, Luis Fabiano.
Subs: Kleber, Elano, Victor, Daniel Alves, Luisao, Josue, Julio Baptista, Kleberson, Pato, Nilmar, Gomes, Juan.


I'll go ahead and say it; with the rather secondary string being run out by Gunga La Dunga, there's a chance of a draw here. Three new faces at the back, a midfield of mystery, although they naturally left in their three best attackers (though even that's arguable... no Pato sightings for more than 15 mins at a time?)

Preamble: There's been a bit of discussion in my brain lately about how the US can improve in international soccer, and I'm thinking they need to cut the bullshit regarding co-opting other countries' styles and try to define one of their own. After all, all nations have a style that's inherently theirs. Italy have catenaccio, Brazil have this kamikaze style, Germany have their ruthless organization, South Korea have superior conditioning to 99.99% of other teams.... USA needs one. What should it be?

It's national anthem time. We know the US one, natch... I'd never noticed before how jaunty the Brazilian ditty is. Sounds like something Sousa left behind on vacation. Or maybe a b-side from Peter and the Wolf.

I recognize this Swiss ref, Massimo Busacca, from somewhere. Champions League? Controversy? Someone do the research for me, please.

T-minus 1 minute: Jozy looks ready and primed to disappoint.

And we're off! Vuvuzela! US in all white, Brazil in Yellow and Blue. Me in shorts and an old Sonic Youth t-shirt now lightly soiled with baby puke.

2 mins: Ramirez hops inside Spector and gets impeded by Bornstein. The free-kick gets knocked into the box and Onyewu heads it out for a corner. Donovan nuts it away and Brazil foul on the loose ball in the attacking third. We get a reminder that Brazil scored three goals via the set-piece. Good to know.

@Tuffy -- you've got the right idea. I mean, how can the USMNT try all this quick passing and whatnot when they haven't nailed the basics? Coiled snake sounds good. Or maybe FDR's Big Stick thing.

4 mins: Robinho sighting! He was invisible during the Egypt match. Not that he just did anything of note. Just a quick close-up.

USMNT defending on their heels a bit. Some good passing down the right by Brazil, who have started brightly. Kaka wins a corner, but Robinho's delivery is tragically bad and US clear with ease. Still, all the action in that Yankee defensive third.

6 mins: Bradley with a foul/not-foul on Ramires, and Maicon delivers....

GOAL GOAL GOAL GOAL, and credit to the US for holding out longer than New Zealand against Spain. Maicon's delivery is whipped right into the six-yard box, Howard stays on his line, and Felipe Melo nips around the back of Spector to bang it in with his noggin. Killer start for the Selecao. Not sure how much better the US could have defended that. Spector had zero chance. USA 0, Brazil 1

JP Dellacamera tries gamely to draw parallels to the Costa Rica and Honduras games in which the US went behind early in both and battled back. Has the mightily drunk JP noticed THE US ARE PLAYING BRAZIL??

@Whizalen -- it is not the Washing Machine shirt, though I wish it was. It's one from their Dirty/E.V.O.L days... a black shirt with white "Sonic Life" written across the chest and some big glowy cross thing beneath it that looks like it was drawn by Lee Ranaldo's child. I dig it though.

@Keith -- sorry Sir... I get my Roosevelts confused. I also get all the Jackson 5 members mixed up.

11 mins: Another dangerous free-kick whipped in but US head it clear... only as far as Luis Fabiano. He gets to the touchline and cuts back for Robinho, but his shot is whiffed on. Beasley put his defense in danger there with some sloppy play. That, coupled with Bradley's fondness for fouling, and it does not bode well. I eagerly await Donovan's pithy post-game comments dragging his teammates through the mud.

Also, someone noted in the comments -- the free-kick that led directly to the goal should never have been, but them's the breaks. Ramires sold it, and Bradley looked clumsy enough.

Brazil waste their 12th corner of the game. A couple of minutes ago, Landycakes had a bit of a run down the other end before being crowded out by four Brazilians.

15 mins: Naptime efforts to subdue my son have failed, and so I have acquired a sleeping baby across my chest while I rest the laptop precariously on my lap. Kaka ghosts behind Kljestan and gets to the touchline once again, but his cutback is blocked out for a corner. Brazil waste it, staying true to form thus far in this game.

Does the USA have a midfield?

@NY Kid -- fair enough. I thought Spector totally lost Melo, not that he wasn't physical enough. I guess that's even worse though, right?

18 mins: The USMNT finally get into Brazilian territory, with all the urgency of the fellas from Swingers trying to get to that party in the Hills with that chatty redhead and the bottle of Glenfiddich. It doesn't last -- Brazil break, 3-on-3, but it breaks down at the top of the box as Robinho and Luis Fabiano suffer a communication breakdown.

Really, at this point I'd just love to see a US player put a massive challenge in on someone, just to remind Brazil that they're actually playing another team.

Uh-oh... breakaway....

GOAL GOAL GOAL GOAL, and some half-hearted attacking by the US gets 'em caught out woefully at the back, and it's DeMarcus again who's making the gaffe. He totally fluffs on receiving the short corner from Donovan. Brazil break with Ramires, and he squares inside Spector, the last man back, for Robinho, who has the easiest finish under a sprawling Howard. That's just fucking sad. USA 0, Brazil 2

23 mins: THE BRAZILIAN POTENCY HAS BROKEN THE LIVE FEED! Dellacamera and Harkes try gamely to keep things going. The US take a decent corner (not taking a short one again, I bet), but it doesn't amount to much. Brazil pour forward themselves and force Bornstein into a silly giveaway, but the US finally get it clear.


Seriously though guys, it's probably best we can't see what's going on right now? Right?

I wonder what's going on right now? Beasley has fucked up again?

WAIT! THE LIVE FEED IS BACK! NO MORE GOALS CONCEDED! It resumes like the game began, with Brazil in comfortable possession and the US just watching them knock it up down, side to side, up down side to side.

28 mins: This is just dire. Disjointed, desperate rubbish. US try to get something going with Donovan, Altidore and Dempsey, but it's easily broken up. Then Bradley gifts possession to Brazil in the midfield (deja vu, anyone?) and Luis Fabiano triggers an attack, eventually cutting outside and ending his best chance to shoot. His shanked effort took a deflection, didn't it?

We're fast approaching moral victory time. You can bet Bob Bradley is flipping through his Book of Sanitzed, Inoffensive Cliches with which to gee up the fans after 90 minutes. One wonders if he'll erupt like Bob Knight in the dressing room at half-time. Or at least have the balls to make a few lineup changes. Shit, Beasley should be shot out back and converted into glue.

@Precious Roy -- I reckon he wants the entire Everton backline. Leighton Baines, Lescott, even an ACL-crippled Jagielka. And Leon Osman in front of that lot would be nice too.

32 mins: USA win a corner! The big men amble up from the back. Decent delivery but it's nodded clear. Kljestan picks up the rebound and it's crossed in again, and headed away again. Donovan gets that rebound and finds Bradley, whose cross is also decent but is also headed clear. Then Gooch breaks up the not-too-bad passage of play by his countrymen by scything down Felipe Melo with a Barton-esque lunge and earning himself a yellow card.

35 mins: Bornstein gets stuck in and nuts Maicon in the face as they go for a header. No foul. Just good, fearless effort. Still, Brazil knock the ball around with ease. Only 52% possession for Brazil thus far? Really? What the fuck have USA done with their 48%?

A ridiculous dive by Gilberto Silva over Kljestan's leg challenge gets 'em another free-kick in US territory. They spread it wide, and when it does come back in, Robinho shoots comfortably wide of Howard's near post. The US clear, and it comes right back in the form of Luis Fabiano, who forces a decent save from Howard.

Seriously, did the US bring a midfield today? Is there anybody in there? Just nod if you can hear me... is there any midfield home?

38 mins: Maicon has a free, unimpeded run down the right and swings in a decent cross but there's nobody home. US counter with Spector cantering down the right, working hard to overlap Landycakes, but he's gassed from the sprint and turns in an abysmal daisy-cutter cross that Lucio sidefoots away from danger. Bit rubbish this.

Question of the Now: How will Bradley/Gulati/US Soccer spin this performance?

Beasley watches the ball in central midfield and fails to notice Maicon, alone on the right wing. Maicon gets it and puts in another menacing cross, but Gilberto Silva heads powerfully over the bar from 8 yards.

At this point, I'm more tolerant of the incessant vuvuzela drone than the play of the USMNT thus far. Utterly spineless. No tenacity or effort in midfield. More ball-watching than on a gay porn film set.

Brazil attack again with Maicon getting tons of work down the right, but no dice.

42 mins: Onyewu needlessly trips Robinho in the right corner despite having defensive help and the Brazilian seemingly trapped. Maicon delivers another neat cross, it flies over to the back post but whoever that was at the back volleyed it a mile over the bar. Seriously, memo to Bob Bradley: bench half these fuckers for life. I don't believe Sasha Kljestan has touched the ball yet (taking a throw-in doesn't count).

44 mins: Brazil knock it around on the right side as they begin to phone it in. Bornstein fouls someone and gives Maicon another free chance to cross. He does, but it's nodded clear in traffic. Wish some of these USMNT'ers would go and play in rush-hour traffic, so poor they have been.

One minute of stoppage time. Massimo Busacca is a merciful ref.

HALF TIME: USA 0, Brazil 2
Harkes reckons the early goals helped Brazil. No shit, Sherlock. They're probably not done scoring, either. Back in 10, when I've managed to get this sleeping baby to stay asleep in his less comfortable rocker chair contraption.

In the meantime, a poll ginned up by the NY Kid between wrist-slitting motions after his nation's dismal first-half effort.


Oh, and I can't help but point out u75's early comment about how DMB in the midfield means he'll be good. Though knowing the man, I'm assuming it was sarcasm?

Rece Davis calls it an "inauspicious start." That's perhaps the kindest possible way to say it in a way that won't get you fired and banned from doing live TV ever again.

48 mins: And I'm back, with a slight delay due to diaper-changing. US get a free-kick in Brazil territory but the Selecao clear.

Mercifully, a sub for USMNT: Beasley off (and presumably lying dead in the locker room), Conor Casey on.

The switch almost paid off; Casey found Altidore in the box, but young Jozy blasted his shot into outer space. Really should have done better. Should do better at shooting in general, considering he's a striker. Hat tricks against shit CONCACAF teams don't count.

49 mins: Better from the US. Bradley finds Bornstein out wide left, and his cross forces Julio Cesar off his line to collect. Not bad, that.

LB jr. is still lying asleep across my chest. Have I mentioned how difficult it is to breathe consistently with a 9lb child across your lungs? If I set him down, he'll scream and I'll probably miss the 3rd Brazil goal. Blogging requires maximum effort. Nothing but the best today!

51 mins: At the risk of jinxing, USMNT have learnt something at half-time and actually started pushing forward. Brazil are equal to it for now. Bradley fizzes a shot over the bar from 30 yards in an effort to match De Rossi's effort the other day. Same kinda position on the pitch.

You see a lot of shots of the turtleneck'd Dunga on the sidelines, barking instructions.. where the heck is Bradley? Shrouded in shadows and guarded by Satan's minions? Or perhaps hiding under an umbrella a la Steve McClaren?

Spector can't reach a long pass down into the right corner, and Brazil collect themselves. Donovan then fouls Robinho quickly after the restart. The US are pushing more, and will leave themselves open to the counter now that their wing-backs are galloping up and down the flanks from box to box.

As I type that, Brazil do break; Luis Fabiano lays off to Ramires in the middle, and he finds Robinho unmarked far left. The Citeh striker takes a touch and tries to bend it in top corner, but Howard's tall enough to leap and grab.

Jozy slips on a US counter as Bradley tries to play him onside over the top. Bit of a metaphor for the US efforts thus far today.

55 mins: Kljestan completes the double-play of losing the ball and then putting in a nasty foul on Ramires. Busacca waves advantage and play on, which Kaka does. He trots towards goal, creates some space and shoots, forcing a good save from Howard. Ramires is still down, and Dunga is mad as hell and is not gonna take it anymore on the sideline. On come the medics with the stretcher brigade.

Um, wow? Busacca gives Kljestan a red card for that shockingly late tackle. Bit harsh, that. But hey, cheer up, USMNT, you now have your greatest excuse should Brazil march on and score plenty more!

Which begs the question: just who is filling this US midfield for the final game?

@Steve -- thank you sir. I think I'm taking the Rossi approach and will groom him here before shoving him back to England to play for his daddy's country. Dual citizenship for the win!

Sub for the US forthcoming as Bradley takes his pre-game notes and strategy, smothers them with BBQ sauce, and devours them in seconds.

60 mins: Here comes that sub: Altidore off (booooo), Feilhaber on....... 4-4-1 time! Bradley is good at this substitution business. It's damage control time.

Brazil adopt the lion-playing-with-his-supper approach, content to bat it around laterally without much menace.

62 mins: GOAL GOAL GOAL GOAL, and we will blame that on there being just 10 Americans left. Brilliant move by Brazil, cued by Ramires who has miraculously recovered. A lovely one-two between Ramirez and Kaka frees Maicon, who's had a good game, inside the box, and he shoots high from a narrow angle and through Howard's grasp. Good. Night. Nurse. USA 0, Brazil 3

=====
BIG IMPORTANT QUESTION FOR THE COMMENTS: Where does this current incarnation rank in comparison to other major eras of US Soccer? We're talking 1950 USA, 1990 USA, 1998 USA, 2002 USA... in history, where do we put this sorry bunch?
=====

65 mins: A nice flowing move by Brazil finds Maicon unmarked out wide, but no-one is there to meet his cross but Landon Donovan. I wonder if Landy wishes he had a German passport? He's seeing the best years of his generation wasted, ruined, etc etc loosely quoting Allen Ginsberg there.

==========
IMPROMPTU COMPETITION TIME!!!!!
67 mins: Time to channel your rage productively, folks. Gimme your best angry man longform unedited rant about US Soccer in the comments, and the best one, chosen by me, a self-loathing Limey, will win a random soccer book from my sizable collection of soccer books. It's also a cynical move by me to keep you all here, because no matter how bad the USMNT does today, you are absolutely not allowed to turn it off.
==========

69 mins: The vuvuzela orchestra finds another notch above "supremely irritating" as Brazil get on some subs. Kaka and Luis Fabiano off, Julio Baptista and Nilmar on.

Possible chance for the US there, as Donovan's free-kick from wide left is whipped in menacingly, but Bradley cannot rise high enough to meet it with his forehead. Goal kick to Brazil.

72 mins: Final sub for Brazil: captain Lucio off, Luisao on.
Another Brazilian free-kick is floated right into the thick of the box, but Howard comes out to gather. Still, Brazil have possession immediately from Howard's kick.

Onyewu hoofs it long for Conor Casey to chase, but he's never reaching that. Goal kick, Selecao.

76 mins: The 75th minute comes and goes without that moral victory goal by the US that Ebullient Fatalist was predicting (see: 10.21am)

Brazil knock it about with ease. Dempsey's tried hard in midfield but has absolutely no help. As much as I loathe him, Donovan's run just about every blade of grass today too, although with little to show for it.

80 mins: Howard collects another cross/shot and throws out, cueing a bit of a run down the right with Donovan. He finds Dempsey, who gets it back to Landy wide. When the return pass comes back in, Dempsey just about keeps possession until Julio Baptista chops down Feilhaber. From the free-kick, USMNT pass it forward a bit and Feilhaber shoots into that proverbial Row ZZ from 35 yards. Dour.

83 mins: ALMOST THAT MORAL VICTORY GOAL! Spector's been pretty good today, and he overlaps Donovan on the right and the pair of them start something; Spector megs his marker to find Donovan at the touchline, he cuts it back for Spector who finds Feilhaber at the top of the box, but Benny's shot whizzes against the underside of the bar and somehow stays out (though it coulda been in, we have no clue and no-one contested the call). Then Brazil, in a cruel twist, counter with a 2-on-1 and almost score a fourth via Julio Baptista, but his final touch lets him down and Howard falls on it.

You have to think Bradley will name a completely different XI for the final group game, just to try some things out, right? Or will he stick with his preferred lineup in the hopes they can claw a meaningless draw with the Egyptians?

87 mins: Dear God, just end this already.

Dempsey wins a free-kick as he knocks it past Luisao and gets barged down. Think Donovan is taking it? What difference does it make?

89 mins: COULD HAVE BEEN 3-2 IF THE FIRST ONE COUNTED! Donovan's delivery is nice, and Conor Casey ploughs a header off the crossbar. Bradley looks upset on the sideline, the first time I remember him being off his feet and on camera all game long. Now he has three things -- the two crossbar shots and the dubious red card -- to use in an attempt to save his job after the game.

LB Jr is waking up, and I'm glad he stayed asleep for this entire game. His tiny, impressionable mind should not have been subjected to this horror show.

90 mins + 2: Brazil have a free kick front and center some 20 yards out, and they spend an eternity lining it up. Can this be the last action of the match? Julio Baptista winds up and boots it a mile high and wide. He's rubbish.

Bradley then blasts one over the bar. BLOW THE WHISTLE.

FULL TIME: USA 0, Brazil 3
Thank the gods that is over. My internet crapped out for a minute there, and LB jr finally woke up, but shit... an awful morning's footy if you are a US Soccer fan. I can guess that most of you who were pre-game aren't now.

The US needs a complete overhaul. Like Norwich. Like Newcastle. Rebuild this shit from the ground up. Dead weight needs to be cleaned out.

Not sure if we're liveblogging this afternoon, or who is doing it, but I'm hoping we do. In the meantime, go enjoy a liquid lunch. Hearing Bob Bradley being interviewed makes me wish I had a gun that would reach from my couch to that pitch.

Thanks for playing along, folks! You were all excellent. I was hoping for some rants though. That wonderful soccer book is getting returned to the bookshelf until our next impromptu commenter competition!

266 comments:

1 – 200 of 266   Newer›   Newest»
The NY Kid said...

If my ESPN360 doesn't start to work very soon, I am going to kick Norby in the junk

Tuffy said...

You know who doesn't deserve a 30-minute pre-game show on tWWL? US Soccer. Also, me.

ü75 said...

2-2 Final. How the hell that happens, I don't know.

ü75 said...

I wonder if Brazil is bothered that Benny Feilhaber decided not to play for Brazil.

At least DMB is in midfield. He'll be fine today.

Precious Roy said...

Just by the looks of our players' faces in the tunnel you can tell we're going to lose.

Steve said...

4-1 Brazil

Precious Roy said...

Is Timmay the only one who fucking sings the national anthem? No wonder we're o worthless and weak.

Steve said...

Donovan is pissed!

The NY Kid said...

2-1 USA!

And Norby is lucky that he fixed his shit.

Precious Roy said...

Change the back four? Is Dunga taking pity on us?

Tuffy said...

US Soccer should become the Coiled Snake in honor of its unofficial mascot: absolute shameless lockdown defense and a spring-loaded counter strategy that takes advantage of superior US speed down the sides.

Barring that, economic sanctions.

The NY Kid said...

Miranda on defense? If Steve slipped 1 past her, we can too!

/Sex and the City'd

EbullientFatalist said...

I keep forgetting Clark is out with that red.

Johnny said...

Massimo reffed the CL final

Rich Forsyth said...

3-2 Brazil

I was thinking the same thing about the Brazil anthem. Sounds like a showtune especially after the US anthem.

Altidore will find the way to shoot today

jape said...

NY Kid - you just gave me the douche chills.

Precious Roy said...

Dead ball and a corner in the first 90 seconds. Awesome.

The NY Kid said...

@jape - because the reference made sense? Embrace your shame.

Precious Roy said...

O/U on number of cut ins ESPN does to update us on fucking golfers?

The NY Kid said...

@Roy - well, considering this is FIGJAM's last major for a while, I would set it at 7 and take the over

Steve said...

@PR - 2 per half?

Bigus Dickus said...

Brazil are a shadow of their former selves. Don't be afraid.

Whizalen said...

LU - puke-stained Sonic Youth shirt. Good visual, keep it up! Is it the washing machine shirt?

Tuffy said...

Bornstein must be an ass man; he spends an immense amount of time chasing them.

Precious Roy said...

Fuck.

jape said...

/jumps out 17th floor window

EbullientFatalist said...

Yup. There we are.

The NY Kid said...

Robinho looks like someone just reminded him that he plays for Man City

Tuffy said...

Welp, back to being afraid.

Reasonable Doubt for a Reasonable Price said...

Well hell, that didn't last long.

Steve said...

yuck.

The NY Kid said...

Good Night Irene.

C'mon, Pharaohs!

Precious Roy said...

Yes, we did give up an early goal against Costa Rica and got FUCKING PASTED.

The NY Kid said...

our man-marking on set pieces is absolutely pathetic.

Rich Forsyth said...

that was bullshit. there was no fing foul. US will get some karma payback for that later.

Precious Roy said...

If I didn't know anything about football and this was the first game I'd ever watched, I'd think the pitch was about 30 yards long and that one team had to defend the whole game.

Keith said...

Wow. Twould be nice to have someone on the USMNT that could hit a free like that. Oh wait! We do! and he's on the pine, just like he is for his club teams!

/suck it up on the training pitch, Freddy

Oh, and LB, Teddy Roosevelt had the big stick line

Steve said...

don't worry, Beasely will start shadowing Kaka soon. Defensive problems solved.

also, how many games recently have we let one in inside 10 minutes? is there an international agreement where we give teams +1 as some sort of reparation that i don't know about?

The NY Kid said...

Disagree, LB - Spector should have been in front of his man, but he simply got muscled off the ball. Not good enough to play like a pussy in your own box

/or is it?

The NY Kid said...

DMB's reaction after that foul made him look like a little kid that had to pee in his pants

Steve said...

really, really? the US doesn't want to be behind? really?

f-in a, that's good analysis.

Precious Roy said...

Steve... Has the CIA ever destabilized the Brazilian gov't?

Might buy that from most of CONCACAF.

Tuffy said...

Bob Ley says: "Another bad start for USA (vs BZL).... the key to playing BZL is to go right at them." Bob Ley also advises North Korea in international matters.

Steve said...

Brazil being part of Latin America, I'm sure we'd be able to find some CIA subversion somewhere.

The NY Kid said...

ah, the first of 27 shots of Bob Bradley looking confused. This is the man we trust with our footballing fate?

The NY Kid said...

at times, our clearance of the ball verges on the abilities of a U-7 Special Ed team.

EbullientFatalist said...

Did I just watch Gooch head the ball down and into the center of our own box?

Tuffy said...

Hey, Landon Donov...

... never mind.

comearoundruby said...

the US desperately needs to stop fouling...or appearing to foul...so close to the damn box.

and also: Busacca was the ref for the Champions League final.

Tuffy said...

At half, they're ditching the possession percentages and just going with "yes" and "no" for Brasil and the US.

The NY Kid said...

@EF - yes, see my comment directly above yours

Precious Roy said...

U-7 Special Ed sides keep possession better though.

EbullientFatalist said...

@NYK: It borders on sad. C'mon you Yanks!!

phil said...

This midfield is team choice fail.

Why does Torres not start?

Why is DMB even an option?

Get a real manager, please. Stop dicking around.

Precious Roy said...

What's worse: our play or JP and Harkes?

Steve said...

What happens when you take speed away from a one dimensional player who depends on it as his only weapon? 2009 DeMarcus Beasley.

Keith said...

Bob- when the best play Beasley can make is to dnk it off the right back for a throw, maybe that means he's past it on the wing.

The NY Kid said...

DMB - running aimlessly since 2002

Steve said...

halfway to 4! wooohooo

Keith said...

Nicely done, Brazilians. Terribly done, Damarcus.

Precious Roy said...

Great... their players do interviews during games after they score. Fucking embarrassment.

Tuffy said...

I think the cameraman is down from having to whip the camera back that quickly.

The NY Kid said...

that was an impressive turnover on our corner

Steve said...

can't we leave DeMarcus at the hotel on accident?

The NY Kid said...

if FIFA doesn't fine Robinho for that "interview" that's absolute horseshit

EbullientFatalist said...

We'll claw one back in the 75' and claim the moral victory.

Precious Roy said...

"These are tournaments that are tests for our players."

And we're getting straight F's.

phil said...

Oh, hey, look, DMB just triggered an excellent, picture-perfect counter attack...for Brazil.

Tuffy said...

Again, your Bob Ley update: "This is like watching a videotape from the 1980's.... BZL is toying with the US. We demonstrated 7 years ago we are better than this."

And now we know the whole world just had a down year.

Tuffy said...

FINALLY A STOP

Steve said...

that was a fatigue mistake by Jozy.

Keith said...

eat it, Bristol broom closet!

Precious Roy said...

Steve: We're not Peru.

Steve said...

i forgot to add it's like the 23rd minute.

Tuffy said...

Has ESPN shown any international tournament where there wasn't feed fail?

The NY Kid said...

sweet - the feed just went out on ESPN360. Perhaps they are trying to save us the embarassment?

EbullientFatalist said...

ESPN once again decides not to send a broadcast team and we end up the losers. How many times does this need to happen before they get the right goddamned idea?

Steve said...

@PR: can we be? does Peru have a better chance against Brazil?

Keith said...

Wow. Lalas is being brutally honest about the USMNT today. Think he might be lobbying to be the manager, or to overtake Sunil?

Tuffy said...

We're back and it's 8-0...

The NY Kid said...

oh, good. The live feed is shit so we get to relive the goals.

phil said...

This is embarrassing.

Yinka Double Dare said...

Everyone enjoying Beasley's last cap? If he's ever on the field again it should be a fireable offense on the spot. He's like Bob's binky, Sunil needs to step in and basically order Bob not to bring him into camp anymore because if he's there Bob plays him even with all the evidence that he's not one of our 40 best players anymore, let alone 11.

EbullientFatalist said...

@TuffyL I didn't realize you were kidding.

Precious Roy said...

The Brazilian women would give the Brazil men a bigger challenge.

Tuffy said...

Your final Bob Ley update of the half: "loss of feed, while a tech error, is almost charitable given the run of play." Awesome.

The NY Kid said...

well, Lalas' decisions with the Galaxy were somewhat questionable, but he's certainly an iconic USMNT player and knows the game. He has also been more vocal lately about our abilities, so maybe he would be a good choice to inject some heart.

Michael said...

Can we fire Bradley at half time? Now the job is to not give up as many as New Zealand, and its not looking good right now.

The NY Kid said...

I was reading Robinho's lips there - I'm pretty sure he said "Popozao"

Precious Roy said...

Re: Lalas... No fucking way. His record as a GM at two MLS clubs is terrible.

Steve said...

yeah I have to agree with PR here about Lalas. He only gets the job if he grows his hair back out, that way we can complete the whole farcical side show thing.

Precious Roy said...

Right about now I bet Timmay wishes Jolean Lescott and Leyton Baines (sp?) were 'Mericans.

The NY Kid said...

@PR - yes, but the role of a gaffer is functionally different than the role of a GM. Lalas was an epic fail at the latter, but I think he might have some good ideas on how to put things together on the pitch in terms of tactics

phil said...

For those with no feed, the US haven't had possession for about 3 straight minutes.

The NY Kid said...

both DMB and Bradley leave gaping holes when they are pitch - we need to send both of them packing

Precious Roy said...

I'd be shocked if we have strung together more than 3 passes without giving away possession.

Precious Roy said...

Not sure that was a yellow.

phil said...

Yellow to Gooch.

USMNT: "In Addition to Being Bad, We're also Undisciplined!"

The NY Kid said...

our first touch on the ball is shocking for professionals - I've seen better in my rec league games

The NY Kid said...

Duck sighting!

Precious Roy said...

Easily the worst we've looked since the Copa America. And that was with Sal Zizzo et al.

comearoundruby said...

that possession statistic just doesn't seem accurate at all.

comearoundruby said...

that possession statistic just doesn't seem accurate at all.

Precious Roy said...

Good to see that Jozy has to track back to the midfield to plug the holes.

Steve said...

wow if Brazil could finish it'd be 4 or 5 now. Fabiano fail.

Keith said...

To be clear, Im not advocating Lalas for the position; I've seen enough of his ridiculous moves and interviews to know how that would end up.

It just sounded to me during the feed break like he was bored being an analyst, and was actively lobbying to be the USMNT's chief tactician.

phil said...

our first touch on the ball is shocking for professionals - I've seen better in my rec league games

Are you a rec league in disguise?
We can see it in your eyes.
Come on US no more lies.
Are you a rec league in disguise?

Keith said...

Watching how Deuce is playing now, though, maybe we should go after Roy Hodgson?

phil said...

Why are we depending on Jozy to track back now?

And why does he seem to be the only one who gives a fuck?

phil said...

No kidding, Keith. He is a completely different player with Fulham.

Steve said...

Beasley out for a job.


In other news, the US team lacks any grit whatsoever. We could totally take Brazil out of their game with some hard tackling and closing down, and yet, this.

Steve said...

Beasely out for a jog*

out of* a job.

Rich Forsyth said...

No Harkes, you are not being unfair to beasly. he is crap today and shouldn't be on the field

Brazil has men on both sidelines all the times. Is he just too lazy to run out that far?

Precious Roy said...

Pathetic. The only one trying to mark anybody is the guy on a YC.

Teeknuts said...

I am this close to never watching a USMNT game again.

The NY Kid said...

@Teek - but then you will miss the Pharaohs mercilessly abusing us!

Precious Roy said...

I thought Bradley was bulletproof with USSoccer, but this might be bad enough to get him canned.

phil said...

There's no way this team makes it out of group stages at WC 2010.

Not. A. Chance.

hockalees said...

@PR
I disagree. Get ready for the rationalization of US Soccer... "we were playing Italy and Brazil. the two former champions... what do you expect?"

They'll fail to see what we see, that we are not even on the same field with these guys.

Kyle B. said...

Roy,

Not that I'm a genius, but if you think that Bradley is getting canned because of the Confederations Cup, I think you underappreciate how little of a shit USSF gives.

phil said...

If Bradley doesn't get canned, I think this goes a long way towards proving what Trecker's been hinting at for some time: that many people at US Soccer care more about the brand than the results.

corky said...

Even my co-workers, who only watch and care because I care, are embarrassed. I was generally OK with Bob, but Kljestan and Beasley? It's time for a change.

And if Beasley doesn't get yanked at HT, I might have to send a strongly worded e-mail to US Soccer!

ü75 said...

Just now catching up on the 1st half. Spector sucks at marking dead balls. 2 games in a row he has given up a free header.

Ian said...

Does anyone remember the Copa America, where we got mauled with a B team because had to win the Gold Cup in order to make it to...er...this tournament. Not a lot of people calling for Bob Bradley's head after that debacle.

corky said...

Although Trecker comes off as an arrogant twit, I cannot wait for his destruction of US Soccer this afternoon.

ü75 said...

What was the second goal, a 4 on 1? Awesome, fuckos.

Precious Roy said...

Our last five (through the half today)...


El Salvador: Inexcusably outplayed. Lucky to come back and draw.

Costa Rica: Dismantled.

Honduras: Gave up an early goal. Looked okay for spells but were also outplayed for stretches at home.

Italy: Played okay for a half. But once we were gassed lost all discipline and were torn apart.

Brazil: Haven't posed one single threat. Not even for a second. They score off our set piece.

ü75 said...

That was painful to watch, even at fast speed.

ü75 said...

Oh good, Casey. That's the solution.

Steve said...

ahahaha, Conor Casey! alright!

Precious Roy said...

No what would have been the most awesome thing ever? If we had come out in the second half in green kits in support of Iranians.

Keith said...

Wow, Bob. The problem in the first half as definitely that we didnt have a club-footed striker with the first touch of a rapist out there.

Great substitution. Bra-fucking-vo.

Precious Roy said...

Fuck... and Bradley finds the only player who could be worse than he started. Maybe he's trying to get fired.

Steve said...

how do you get Jozy involved? get him the ball? teach him to hold on to it?

Precious Roy said...

In Bradley's defense (and I can't believe I'm defending him) Brazil's back line abused our smaller players (the one or two times they encountered them)... So Bradley finds the most physical guy he has.

Too bad he didn't select a big guy with skills like Cooper.

Teeknuts said...

If we switched places with, say, Iraq, would we have a better chance of advancing? Right now I would say no.

Precious Roy said...

Teek: We're bad, but we would waltz past New Zealand. South Africa would be interesting as they looked way more offensive yesterday than the opener.

Teeknuts said...

Bradley is too busy practicing his thoughtful stare into the distance to actually pay attention to the game.

Steve said...

has everyone scraped their eyes out? comments gone quiet...

Tuffy said...

You'd think US Soccer could use some of that Nike money on spikes for Jozy.

ü75 said...

I think that guy is dead.

Kyle B. said...

Wow - just falling down in the box in hopes of drawing a PK.

Shameful. Jozy is bigger than that (I think it's Jozy - no audio and looking back and forth in Bar/Bri).

Steve said...

epic effort, LB, with LB jr. hanging around. tell that kid to get up and get a ball under his feet already. unless you want him playing for the US or something, then he should keep sleeping.

Tuffy said...

Bob Ley called US Soccer a Duran Duran mix tape and that they're "playing like KaKa". Please put him in the broom closet.

ü75 said...

Come on, Ramires, that was hardly even a hit. Man up, you pansy.

ESPN on the #banvuvuzelas movement.

Another fucking red. At least Kljestan is off.

phil said...

Ramires is a weenie.

Precious Roy said...

Did he get reded? What. The. Fuck?

Steve said...

kljestan with the red?? what happened?? didn't see it.

Tuffy said...

It's hard to kick the ball with a bullet hole in your foot.

Keith said...

Red Card! YEAAAAAHHHH! Awesome refereeing, that.

Teeknuts said...

Way to miss the red card, cameraman

Keith said...

Benny in for Jozy?

phil said...

How the fuck is that a straight red? yellow, sure, but that's a terrible piece of refereeing.

Keith said...

GREAT tackle, Deuce. Where the fuck was that the previous 58 minutes?

Ibracadabra said...

Feilhaber comes in to score a 30 minute hat trick against his birth country - Brazil?

The new Rossi?

Precious Roy said...

Foul? Definitely. Yellow? Sure. Red? Not a chance.

phil said...

No way that's a red. Just a terrible call.

ü75 said...

Fuck South africa. Let's bomb the entire country.

Does this showing hurt the American cause for 2018/22?

Precious Roy said...

Why don't we just start the next match with 10 men and spare the ref the burden of screwing us.

WE'RE BAD ENOUGH AS IT IS, WE DON'T NEED HELP.

Teeknuts said...

Jesus, did the US buy their cleats from a back market stall in Praetoria?

Teeknuts said...

Also, fuck.

The NY Kid said...

Slightly Above Average Jew on for the Haitian Sensation. How disappointing.

ü75 said...

Suck my balls, rest of the world.

comearoundruby said...

in all fairness, it was a ridiculously late and reckless tackle.

and one more for brazil.

Tuffy said...

Bornstein kidnapped the Lindbergh baby.

phil said...

Bob BRadley brings on Bennie for Jozy and sets up.........Conor Casey alone up top.

Recipe for success, Bob.

We. Are. Pants.

The NY Kid said...

Absolute pants defending. If I was Tim Howard I would demand free dinners for life from these clowns.

ü75 said...

I must say, I thought PR's comment about NZ or USA having worse GD was flame-bait, but damn. He was right.

Steve said...

one more to four! 30 minutes for Brazil to get the fourth and the US to plop in a late, meaningless one. alriiiight.

phil said...

PROJECT 2020! It's gonna happen! U-S-A, U-S-A, U-S-A!

Tuffy said...

Am I rooting for Egypt? Against? Do I want to see more of this?

Goat said...

Glad to see my nickname for Feilhaber catching on. Not glad to see this game.

phil said...

Does Harkes have some kind of beef with Howard?

Because he has laughably and inexplicably blamed him for the 2nd and 3rd goals.

ü75 said...

I tell you what, if I was on the field right now, I'd want a red too to spare myself the misery of a) playing the rest of this game and b) playing Egypt.

Spectator said...

To answer LB's question, the USMNT right now isn't as bad as we think they are, they also aren't as good as we maybe thought they were. Just plain ol' mediocre.

Steve said...

anyone with a serious suggestion for who they'd like to see as USMNT coach?

ü75 said...

Yes phil, Howard should have totally known how to deal with that deflection from three yards out.

The NY Kid said...

@Spectator - I would say that they aren't as good as they thought they were

Steve said...

did we already play this game a few weeks ago? can't remember.

Keith said...

Wow, Spector just got away with a handball on that last shot.

Teeknuts said...

I believe this is called a shooting gallery.

The NY Kid said...

Bryan Gunn for USMNT gaffer!

Goat said...

If Kaka needs a rest, just leave him on the pitch.

ü75 said...

I think this is about even with 2006, which is not what is supposed to happen to a supposedly still getting better country.

Keith said...

Average Grant wouldn't be a bad shout.

The Fan's Attic said...

Fuck.

/rant

The NY Kid said...

@LB - I must protest your competition, as I am assuming that UFers are not eligible.

Plus, I have no choice but to watch this match - I am at work so the only alternative is...to work.

ü75 said...

FUCK YOU

Get a head on the damn ball. Don't just jump because the ball is in the area, go to where it actually is. Adjust your motherfucking runs. These aren't WR patterns, you can change where you are going.

Steve said...

Luisao just ran more warming up than the entire USMNT has all game.

Lingering Bursitis said...

Give me your angriest rants about this team and win a prize!

And yes, NY Kid, UFers cannot partake. Non-UFers only, please. There's plenty of you! So come on, dust off the vitriol!

The NY Kid said...

and they bring on The Beast. Let's hope he runs full-tilt into Bradley or Landycakes

phil said...

Exactly, Umlaut. I have no idea what Hrkes is on about.

@ Steve: Klinsmann is my choice, but some around here have some well-founded doubts about him. Past him, I honestly have no idea.

Whizalen said...

cue The Beast to poach four goals here

Spectator said...

@NY Kid: That's a good point.

People I'd rather have as US Men's Coach right now: Klinsy, Scolari, Sigi Schmid, Sven-Goran Eriksson, Graeme Souness, etc etc etc

Goat said...

That aberration in 2002 was the worst thing to happen to us. Everyone (players, fans) thought we were better than we were and it raised expectations all around. Perhaps Sunil was the only one whose expectations weren't raised and, therefore, won't fire Bradley because he realizes that this isn't the product of a bad coach but bad players.

Precious Roy said...

Goat: Gonna disagree... Look at Greece and Egypt. Not top quality players. But they are disciplined, play fundamentally sound, and they have good tactics to match their players.

We're good enough to compete. We just don't have a competent enough manager to put the right players in the right positions to give them the best chance to succeed even when they are outmanned.

The NY Kid said...

People I would rather have as USMNT coach right now: Phil Jackson, Larry Brown, Gene Keady, Bobby Knight, Bill Parcells, Bert and Ernie, that one player on my rec team who is injured but offers up coaching suggestions, Amelia Earhart, and Artie Lange.

Teeknuts said...

To be honest, I'm not that angry. Living in Minnesota, I'm used to teams I follow shitting the bed. I've already accepted that the high point for MN sports in my lifetime is probably going to be when the U of M hockey team won back-to-back titles. I'm kind of digressing here, but damnit, this is more entertaining then the game now.

Goat said...

Conor Casey looks supremely uninterested in actually playing soccer. Did Adu sleep with Bradley's wife?

phil said...

Other than lacking pace, craft, graft, and tactical acumen, this team has everything it needs to be successful.

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