Newcastle United have decided to go into home furnishings and fashion to recoup some of the money Mike Ashley has lost over the last couple of years. They have launched a new line of furniture to coincide with the release of their new 'sunshine' feel away shirt. The perfect shirt for the new dawn of the Colaship. We all know how grim it is up north, smog, deep depression, relegation and memories of the industrial age. Well Newcastle have a new lifestyle range just for you.
First of all we have the patio range. A nice sofa to park your botty on and umbrella to protect you from the suns harmful rays as you bask in the day dream glory of Championship football.
Mates having a laugh at your expense when they come over to watch the big game? Shut them up with this stunning Newcastle United rug.
Hitting the beach this summer? How about the official Newcastle United Beach Towel?
Girlfriend not up with the latest Geordie fashions? Put that right with a visit to the Newcastle club shop. Hey Presto, she's looking good now.
What about those trips to the toilet gents? Cheer up even the fastest of quick pees with a pair of these!
And finally, show how much you love the Magpies with this stunning new away shirt, sure to be the toast of town centers, such as Scunthorpe and Plymouth. But wait, it's not just a football shirt, it doubles up as a place mat, a cat bed, a dish cloth and a trendy bandanna. Get yours today.
There it is ladies and gentleman. The new 2009/2010 Newcastle United away shirt. No comment.