Monday, June 22, 2009

Newcastle United Reveal Latest Line Of Home Furnishings And Fashion Accessories.



Newcastle United have decided to go into home furnishings and fashion to recoup some of the money Mike Ashley has lost over the last couple of years. They have launched a new line of furniture to coincide with the release of their new 'sunshine' feel away shirt. The perfect shirt for the new dawn of the Colaship. We all know how grim it is up north, smog, deep depression, relegation and memories of the industrial age. Well Newcastle have a new lifestyle range just for you.



First of all we have the patio range. A nice sofa to park your botty on and umbrella to protect you from the suns harmful rays as you bask in the day dream glory of Championship football.





Mates having a laugh at your expense when they come over to watch the big game? Shut them up with this stunning Newcastle United rug.



Hitting the beach this summer? How about the official Newcastle United Beach Towel?



Girlfriend not up with the latest Geordie fashions? Put that right with a visit to the Newcastle club shop. Hey Presto, she's looking good now.



What about those trips to the toilet gents? Cheer up even the fastest of quick pees with a pair of these!



And finally, show how much you love the Magpies with this stunning new away shirt, sure to be the toast of town centers, such as Scunthorpe and Plymouth. But wait, it's not just a football shirt, it doubles up as a place mat, a cat bed, a dish cloth and a trendy bandanna. Get yours today.



There it is ladies and gentleman. The new 2009/2010 Newcastle United away shirt. No comment.

20 comments:

Whizalen said...

love it! just pre-ordered mine with Owen on the back!

Ibracadabra said...

is that Habib Beye? Honestly? You couldn't find a more popular player to model the new uniform than Habib Beye?

The Fan's Attic said...

are you sure they didn't just piss on clothes...one guy had just eaten asparagus the night before and then a guy with a normal hydration?

The NY Kid said...

BD, why do you have a picture of my sofa?

And my girlfriend?

EbullientFatalist said...

Newcastle Utd: Come for the shitty football, stay for the shittier uniforms.

Keith said...

Wow. . . that's just unfortunate.

Keith said...

Oh, and Kid- Habib Beye is your girlfriend? Trippy.

Signal to Noise said...

Piss away your time in the Premiership, go for piss yellow on the kits.

Sometimes "WTF" just doesn't cut it.

Whizalen said...

was I the only one who missed the news of Marcus Hahnemann getting picked up by Wolves?
http://www.skysports.com/story/0,19528,11661_5389687,00.html

Bigus Dickus said...

Old story Whiz, just you.

@Kid. Congrats on your Goerdie sofa purchase. Ashley now only300,000678.00 in debt.

Keith said...

Best reaction from the Football Shirt Culture commenters:

"BANANAS IN PYJAMAS ARE GOING DOWN THE LEAGUE

BANANAS IN PYJAMAS ARE TRYING TO LOOK LIKE LEEDS!!!!"

Chip Wesley said...

Newcastle's new sponsor is Vaunnies Mustardayonnaise.

Mike Georger said...

Still not as bad as Arsenal's yellow from last year. Possibly a bit worse than Liverpool's mustard jersey from three seasons ago though, at least that one didn't look like piss.

epiblast said...

@ Ibraca: Habib Beye is their best player, but there is that Michael Owen guy, whatever it is he's all about.

I'd prefer that mustard and mayonnaise to the neon shite-piss that Chelsea and Wigan have been sporting the last two seasons. It burns out your retinas and doubles as road-construction-safety gear.

Kopper said...

I'm hoping to god the Keeper's kits are brown...

Teeknuts said...

I've got an odd craving for laffy taffy for some reason...

Sarah said...

Looks like yellow and white, but apparently it's actually orange? I wouldn't have believed it except their pictures are always shit. Last season no one could figure out if the away kits were blue or purple before they were actually worn on the pitch.

Either way, this makes me feel much better about Arsenal's blue pinstripes. We may look like golfers, but at least we don't look like pee.

jjf3 said...

that made me laugh...hat's off, Sarah...

Pradajames said...

Ive never seen a club make it so difficult for people to root for them. For christ's sake, I really really want to keep supporting NUFC but they just shit on my sofa at every turn.

Mike Georger said...

"they just shit on my sofa at every turn"

But on the plus side, with the above sofa, if you piss on it you don't even need to flip the pillow.