Monday, June 22, 2009

Is Michael Bradley Delusional?

Michael Bradley answers his critics.

Obviously, all of us here at UF (even the Brits!) are elated at yesterday's crazy results in the Confederations Cup that saw the USMNT through to the semi-finals. While we are slightly hesitant about our chances against Spain, the #1-ranked team in the world, we're just glad to be there considering the chances of that happening going into yesterday's matches were slim to none. How do the players themselves feel?



Now, given that the USMNT had lost to Italy and gotten throttled by Brazil (granted, with only 10 men in both matches), very few people gave the boys a chance to advance into the semis. Even beating Egypt would not be enough, as Brazil would have to beat Italy and there was a significant goal differential to be made up. Amazingly, two 3-0 scores in the right direction came about and the (almost) impossible happened.

And Michael Bradley would like you to know how he feels about it:

"All of the critics in America who said we were no good after losing to Italy and Brazil, let's see what they say now," Michael Bradley said.


Well, Michael, I would say that you and the boys backed into the semi-finals thanks to a lazy effort from Italy and some shoddy defending from Egypt. I would say that a goal on Father's Day for the 2nd year in a row is an apt display of how nepotism has allowed you to keep your starting role. I would even say that you and your dad should both still lose your jobs, but that is unlikely to happen given this result. Make no mistake, Bradley fils (that's "son" for you non-Francophones), the 3-0 victory over Egypt did not demonstrate that the USMNT is a global force in footy. Yes, the effort was there from Davies on the 1st goal, and Deuce seemed to wake up at some point in the 2nd half and scored a magnificent header, but until there is a continual effort from everyone on the team during every match we will remain the broken clock that is right twice a day (only once if we're using military time).

Your colleague Jonathan Bornstein demonstrated a far higher degree of self-awareness when discussing the shambolic play in the first 2 matches coupled with the incredible results of both of yesterday's tilts:

"It's like that quote from 'Dumb and Dumber': 'So you're telling me there is a chance.' That's what we kept saying," defender Jonathan Bornstein said.


Yes, Jonathan, there was a chance and the USMNT took it. There is also a chance that you boys will beat Spain. Of course, there is a far greater chance that Fabregas, Torres, Villa, Xavi et al. will look at the other end of the pitch and laugh when they see Bradley, Casey, Beasley, and Bocanegra.

However, Brian Ching still believes:

"Take that all the naysayers. about 18 hours ago from txt"


20 comments:

Mike Georger said...

Jesus. As if the maddeningly inconsistent performances year in year out didn't make it hard enough to like these guys he has to get smug when the slightest good thing happens. Wednesday will be sodomy with a shaft of reality, balls of humility, and head of shouldveshutthefuckupandnotsuck.

Hadley said...

And they probably won't even see Bocanegra (not that that is a bad thing).

hernangeles said...

Somewhat related - for the love of basketball can somebody tell me what time the showdown in chinatown starts? Trying to plan a) my sick excuse b) showdown watching c) Spain vs US watching and trying to find a bar in the LES that has the game. I have a feeling I need to make a choice but maybe not, maybe not.

Thanks

phil said...

In related news, Michael Bradley just received another yellow card and Brian Ching is still malingering.

As if it's not bad enough that the team is pants, they also have to be insufferable douchebags about it.

Spectator said...

@hernangeles: Showdown match is supposed to start at 6pm. Supposedly players will be around pregame though, and it wouldn't hurt to show up early to try get a good spot. Bigus and I wouldn't mind if you let us know where you found to watch the USMNT-Spain match!

Steve said...

Michael Bradley has almost convinced me to root for Spain on Wednesday, just to put that dumbass back in his place. Here's hoping Xavi makes him look a fool all game.

hernangeles said...

Thanks for the info Spectator. This makes for perfect timing. If I find something in the LES (doesn't seem likely but staying positive) I'll post it fo sho.

30f said...

"Whoever said I was useless and an unreliable device to tell time can SUCK IT! Check Out how right I am now!"

- Signed: The Stopped Clock

Ian said...

I would suggest Loreley on Rivington...German beer hall literally 200 feet from the pitch.

Michael said...

@Spectator: Check out Slainte, on Bowery and 1st. Footie bar owned by Irish LFC supporters.

Spectator said...

Well, well two good suggestions there. Okay, we'll make an announcement tomorrow.

dallen said...

If players were as intellectually honest as pundits are supposed to be (I'm looking at you, Ives. You clueless hack, you.) they'd have a hard time getting up to compete. As players they not only have a right to be naive, but they're supposed to be. Ching, Bradley and any other players going after the "h8erz" or whatever are just putting their inherent confidence and tunnel vision to work off the field.

Keith said...

In riposte to Bradley the Younger, I'd just say that Deuce was in an offside position, right in front of the keeper when you hit your goal.

But that wouldn't be an issue if you had, oh I dont know, showed up for the second half against Italy, or AT ALL against the Selectao.

/Not sayin', just sayin'

The TJK said...

Ummm...who should start over Michael Bradley? I agree that Pops should go, but I'd like to see more of the Bradley/Clark combo. Sure we're going to get pounded on Wednesday, but let's not be so negative here. We could have easily gotten a point at least off of Italy if the ref isn't having a laugh and gives Clark a yellow instead of a red.

Yes, Michael Bradley needs to calm down, but so do all of you who are so negative. The reality is that we're a pretty good side that needs a much better manager.

The NY Kid said...

Of the players that Bob Bradley consistently has on the roster, I think that Feilhaber should start over Bradley.

Of the overall player pool, I would take Gaven, Holden, or Rogers over Bradley.

The Likely Lad said...

maybe benny. def not eddie gaven. bradley is decent. and so for that matter, is donovan of late. we all hate, but when these guys score a goal he's almost always involved. and he's rarely off with the pks. not an all-time great, but better than we give him credit for...

Goat said...

I've been saying that Rogers should get a call up (playing on the left though), too but don't think Gaven quite yet. He seems somewhat lost in his limited national team appearances. Also, I can't have two players gone from my Crew on national team duty.

corky said...

I'm of two minds on this one. I rate Baby Bradley -- I think he should start. With Jones, they could form one nasty midfield (with high red card probability!)

As for the comments, I wish he realized that it's great some people actually care. I like the feistiness, but he got to understand not to slag the fans.

HoboSpaceJunkie said...

I suppose I'm the only Italy supporter here. Congrats to the US for doing what was necessary. Also for giving the Italians the rest of the summer off. The rest will do them good. The likelihood of any team winning World Cups back to back is slim but I will retain hope. But Italy seriously needs something creative going on in the middle to pull opposition defenders out of position. Luca Toni cannot dribble through central defenders. Maybe Lippi will beg Del Piero or Totti to come back. Yeah right.

The match with Spain could be interesting provided the ref doesn't toss an American as soon as he has an excuse (so don't give him one) and Bradley figures out how to motivate his team to play at a decent level two games in a row. Good luck.

Dayne said...

well..looks like a 2-0 win vs. spain has decreased the relevance of this article. Here's to ya USMNT.