Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Some footballers are smart. Some footballers are only smrt

Football and brains do not go hand in hand, unless you are Lamps, apparently. Seriously, if you quizzed Wayne Rooney on heads of state, he would do worse than George Bush in a gotcha interview. Think David Beckham knows the significance of the Avogadro constant or what the number is? I'm guessing no. Heck, as we see on here nearly every day, footballers don't even have the common sense to shy away from things that you and I would never dream of doing. Which is why I always think that it is an odd match when athletes of any sort are called upon to highlight educational causes.

The people who are pushing to raise the rates of Scottish literacy (which is rather appalling, according to the article) had no qualms about asking for SPL representatives. Perhaps they should have.

Each team has one representative. Each player picked two books. One is suitable for children, while the second is more adult. There are some really good choices on the list. For the kids, St. Mirren's Jack Ross picked James and the Giant Peach, Falkirk's Tom Scobie picked Treasure Island, and Killie's awesomely-named Danny Invincible picked a personal favorite of mine: Lord of the Flies.

For adult reading, biographies ruled the day with two players each picking Roy Keane: The Autobiography and Lance Armstrong's It's Not About the Bike. The other double up for adults was The Count of Monte Cristo, picked by Jamie Smith and Joe Keenan of Aberdeen and Hibs, respectively. There was one oddity here, but I have to give it a pass. Tomas Černy, goalkeeper at Hamilton, picked a graphic novel. Truth be told, he picked a damn good one. Maus is a bit dated in its art, especially when the narrative moves away from the war stories and into the modern day, but damn if it doesn't bring me to tears every time I pick it up. Hence the pass.

There is one real howler here, and unfortunately it doesn't originate from one of the two Glasgow giants. David Goodwillie (ha) plays for Dundee United, and, I'm guessing, is not that much of a fan of reading. You see, he picked a book that is one step up from a Magic Eye book in terms of actual words. The British name may throw you, but the cover should be instantly recognizable.

Where is frickin' Waldo. Are you kidding me? If I remember correctly, the conceit is that on every two pages there is a small postcard with maybe two lines of info, and then you go look for the speccy gent with the striped hat. There is no reading there. Besides, as I only learned today, it's been out 22 years. How is it that Goodwillie (ha) has not found Wally yet? Just another dumb footballer, I guess.


Mike Georger said...

It's been nine years since I took (and got a D in) high school chemistry, but I remembered that number starts with a 6

Teeknuts said...

6.02 x 10^23!