Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Drew Carey: Funnyman, Shit Talker

Doesn't most bulletin board material come from athletes?

When you think the last time Drew Carey ran toward anything that wasn't a cheeseburger?

But, hey, there's the part owner (and from what I gather, his part is very small) of the Seattle Sounders calling out the LA Galaxy:

"I think the expansion team this year actually is the Galaxy and not us. I said that to all my Riot Squad friends. You're the ones scrambling to put a team together, didn't know who was playing for you day-to-day...They're coming from a big mess, they're the expansion team."
Yeah, LA is a bit of a mess—and yeah, it is a large source of entertainment—but they do have Landycakes, who is probably better than anyone on the Seattle roster. And they'll get Goldenballs in midseason, who, even when he's half-assing it, still has better deadball service than anyone in MLS.

Isn't Freddie Ljungberg already hurt? If not. He will be by halftime of the opener. Sure he's a name, but he's not what he used to be not even close, or West Ham wouldn't have let him go last season. The Sounders do have an experienced striker in Nate Jaqua and a solid keeper in Kasey Keller, although also not what he once was.

But we're digressing. This isn't a breakdown of the two teams so much as a 'Holy crap, the part owner is talking trash.' Careful Drew. Tom Cruise is a fan of the Galaxy. He'll pull some voodoo Scientology shit on your ass and you'll never work in LA again. Either that or he'll make a couple of calls to CAA and the studio heads.


epiblast said...

This is where Landycakes appears and says; "The price is wrong, bitch!"

Dustin said...

...and then epiblast, up comes Carey to beat the crap outa him, just like the movie. Let's not forget Drew was a f*cking Marine!

Teeknuts said...

Too bad he didn't display some of those marine skills against Skip Bayless yesterday. That would have been much more entertaining than the dumb "debate" they had over football.

The Fan's Attic said...

oh man...Carey was on Cold Pizza/First Take against Bayless...please let somebody post that.

Matt said...

"When you think the last time Drew Carey ran toward anything that wasn't a cheeseburger?"

Towards one of Barker's Beauties (I refuse to call them Carey's Beauties)?