Sepp Blatter's Defensive Driving Class Has Awesome Benefits

UF loves Sepp Blatter.

Not because he's particularly good at his job of running FIFA, but because everything he says and everything he does is blog fodder. He's like Herpes: permanent, recurring, unsightly, embarassing, and, seeing how he's been in charge in Zurich since 1998, the only way to get rid of him might also be through death.

Usually there is a comedic air to his fuck-ups. Not today, kids. Not today.

Seems among other things Blatter sucks at is driving. From something called "Transparency In Reporting":

Last week Zurich journalist Jean Francois Tanda revealed in Sonntags Zeitung that multi-millionaire Sepp Blatter had persuaded a judge to impose the lightest possible fine after a car crash in which the FIFA president nearly killed another driver.

Tanda disclosed that Sepp Blatter escaped with a derisory 600 francs fine (£360, 400 Euros, US$500) after losing control of his 525 bhp Mercedes SL 63, hitting a car in front of him and then careening across a double white line into the other carriageway and striking an oncoming VW Golf so hard that it was flung in the air and landed upside down.

The driver of the flipped car had a good laugh when he was informed that the reason Blatter was driving so recklessly was because he was late for a round of golf. He quipped "I hope he drives better on the course."

Not really.

As we understand it, the fine should have reflected Blatter's total income, implying that he received special treatment, or he did not properly disclose his actual income to the court. Or both actually: special treatment for a) a lower fine and b) not having to report his actual income to the court.

The latter is kind of a deal because nobody knows what Blatter makes. It's a secret. As well as many of the other dealings of football's governing body (fun backstory: when a 2006 book was published with accounts of the corruption under Blatter, FIFA obtained an injunction to prevent the sale of the book in Switzerland).

Figure Bud Selig makes $18M for running MLB into the ground*, what's Blatter make for running the world's game?

As the article intimates, Blatter's fine reflected that of a person making around $65K or a little more than the occasional honorarium allegedly paid to executive committee members.

The rest of the gold here is in the comments and responses. As the article highlights some:

"Ronnie König asked, ‘How corrupt is our country anyway? and was answered by Veronique Duchand: ‘We now have a legal system that is comparable with those in China and some African dictatorships.’ Ludwig Baggenstos thought it was more like ‘South America.’"

Woo hoo. Our legal system escaped comparison with some of the worst countries in the world. USA! USA! USA!

Oh, Blatter did address the issue saying, "I have no comment."

Prick.

(*We're aware that attendance numbers have soared in the post-World-Series-killing strike era, but much like with Blatter at FIFA, MLB seems to thrive despite the actions of it's leadership, not because of it).