Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Better Know a Traore! [part 1]

We here at UF came upon a startling discovery the other day during our discussion of the fact that Arsenal's defending against ManUre in the FA Cup was dreadful - there are literally (not literally) thousands of players named Traore!

In light of this, we welcome you to our short-lived feature, Better Know a Traore!

Today we take you through the "A's" of the Traore family (not all related).

Find out all of the exciting details after the jump.

Abdou Traore
Born: January 17, 1988
Nationality: Mali
Current Team: FC Girondins Bordeaux (France Ligue 1); 0 games played
Position: Midfield
Noteworthy: Was part of the 3rd place U-20 Mali team at the 1999 FIFA World Youth Championships
Existing Video: None

Abdou Razak Traore
Born: December 12, 1988
Nationality: Ivory Coast (apparently the family sent him out on loan)
Current Team: Rosenborg B.K. (Norway Premier League); 6 appearances with 0 goals/assists
Position: Forward
Noteworthy: Was featured in the November 2007 issue of World Soccer as one of the 50 most exciting teenagers in world football
Also Noteworthy: Was the victim of an armed robbery at his Ivory Coast home in August 2007
Noteworthier: Played against Chelsea in a Champions League match on September 18, 2007; following the match it was rumoured that Chelsea were interested in obtaining his services
Existing Video: Champions League Magazine 09/28/07 (discussion of playing with RBK)

Alou Traore
Born: November 06, 1974
Nationality: Mali
Current Team: Saipa (Iran Premier League)
Position: Midfield
Noteworthy: He is still alive, despite being older than dirt (for professional football) and playing in Iran
Also Noteworthy: Played in a Champions League match for FC Pyunik (Armenia) against Dynamo Kiev on August 7, 2002 and was yellow-carded
Noteworthier: Visiting the Saipa Tehran website may have resulted in my being placed on an NSA watchlist (and all for naught, since I don't read Farsi!)
Existing Video: Videotaping is not allowed in Iran, infidel!

Armand Traore
Born: October 8, 1989
Nationality: France
Current Team: Arsenal (EPL - suck it, Barclay's!); 9 total appearances in FA Cup, Carling Cup and UEFA matches, 0 goals/2 assists
Position: Defense
Noteworthy: In September 2007, was caught trying to enter White Hart Lane with a "lethal knuckle-duster"(was that wrong?)
Also Noteworthy: Watford was rumoured to want him on loan during the January transfer window, but Arsene told them to bugger off
Existing Video: Playing defense in Dennis Bergkamp's testimonial match

Some of the other UF "staff" will take you through the more exciting Traore "family" over the next few days.

[Ed. Note: Armand's also notable for being quite shit lately... he featured rather badly in the Spurs 5-1 win and the more recent Man U 4-0 win. Sorry, I couldn't resist.]

1 comment:

The NY Kid said...

I actually tried very hard to find video of Traore being abused by Nani and Darren "Superman for a day" Fletcher, but surprisingly the only video that I could find showed them abusing Gallas. What a sad day.