Wednesday, April 8, 2009

CL Open Thread

The previews are below and the football is up ahead. Just a quarter-hour until Champions League (Chaaaaaahhhhhmpions!!!) glory is unleashed on the planet. And then there's the Liverpool-Chelsea game, which also begins in 15 mins.

Details after the leap...


Chelsea v. Liverpool on ESPN2 and ESPN2HD

Barcelona v. Bayern Munich on Setanta and Setanta Broadband (NO re-broadcast on ESPN Classic. Stupid F%^7ckin' Masters.)

Lineups:

at Anfield:

Liverpool: Reina, Arbeloa, Aurelio, Carragher, Skrtel (in the Riise role?), Xabi Alonso, Lucas, Kuyt (aka the Dutch Wayne Rooney), Riera, The Talismanic Steven Gerrard, Torres.
Subs: Cavalieri, Dossena, Hyypia, Agger, Benayoun, Babel, Ngog.

Chelsea: Cech, Ivanovic, Cole, Terry, Alex, Essien, Lampard, Ballack, Kalou, Malouda (hahahaha), Drogba.
Subs: Hilario, Carvalho, Belletti, Mancienne, Mikel, Deco, Anelka.

at the Nou Camp:

Barcelona: Victor Valdes, Dani Alves, Puyol, Marquez, Pique, Toure, Xavi, Iniesta, Messi, Henry, Eto'o.
Subs: Pinto, Caceres, Gudjohnsen, Bojan, Keita, Sylvinho, Busquets.

Bayern Munich: Butt, Breno, Ze Roberto, Demichelis, Altintop, Van Bommel, Oddo, Lell, Schweinsteiger, Ribery, Toni.
Subs: Rensing, Podolski, Ottl, Sosa, Lahm, Borowski, Badstuber.

Fearless predictions: Altintop will score a goal. Barca will win, but not by enough to moot the second leg... There will be two goals scored in the Pool-Chelsea game, either one for each or both for Los Rojos.

Enjoy!


***Halftime Update***

for you Johnny and Jenny-come-latelies...

Barcelona 4, Bayern 0

Goals: Messi 9, 38; Eto'o 12, Henry 43
Yellow cards: Messi 17
Red cards: None


Liverpool 1, Chelsea 1

Goals: Torres 6; Ivanovic 39
Yellow cards: Kalou 31
Red cards: None





146 comments:

Lingering Bursitis said...

Aye TLL, you're a special brand of moron, it's true.

Aurelio is playing LB and Skrtel in the middle with Carragher. Still, I have no clue why the Guardian set it up that way.

The NY Kid said...

AGAIN with the dissing of Malouda!

He scored last match, people!

Lingering Bursitis said...

NYK: is it tough to type with Malouda's ballbag over your eyes?

ü75 said...

NYK is a touch typist.

The Likely Lad said...

@NYK: for the record, the intention there with Florent was to deride Chelsea, not Le République.

The NY Kid said...

don't make me post the picture of you smiling in your Beckham jersey, LB!

The NY Kid said...

@TLL - eh, deride him all you like. I don't care for him one bit, and he frightens me when he's on the pitch for Les Bleus

The NY Kid said...

is there a more potent strike force in the world than Titi, Eto'o and Messi?

@TLL - and I know you cut-pasted La Republique after looking it up, because it has the accent mark!

Ibracadabra said...

Tommy Smyth just has a "Feeling" there will be goals in this one.. "don't ask him why" though. espn 360 at work is superb. absolutely brilliant, really.

Andrew said...

No, NYK, there isn't a more potent strike force. Although the Keane/Bent pairing comes close.


/throws up in mouth

ü75 said...

@Ibra-
It's better on the East Coast, because when the game is finished, you just pack up and go home.

The NY Kid said...

FSC seriously needs to look into developing a 360-like platform for when they take over.

It's the one thing that ESPN has done right - excellent quality

ü75 said...

That was quick.

Andrew said...

TORRES TORRES!!!

Teeknuts said...

Shades of Rooney by Dirk Kuyt!

The NY Kid said...

already?

and Titi just misses for Barca

Teeknuts said...

Damnit, I hope Pepe's alright

Andrew said...

The armband said he was a Red . . .


NANA NANA NANA NANA NANAAAAAA

ü75 said...

I have a feeling that FSC will build up its broadband deal next season. They do have a pay version in place now.

Lingering Bursitis said...

what a fucking gorgeous team goal!

I love this club so much

The NY Kid said...

and it's 1-0 for Barca after Messi abuses them

ü75 said...

Barca up.

ü75 said...

Missed the goal. What happend (In Barca, I saw the Liverpool one).

Andrew said...

and Messi for Barca. That took all of nine minutes.

The NY Kid said...

I say "bollocks" to FSC's broadband. Why pay when I can get the (lower-quality video, with audio in Farsi) milk for free?

Ibracadabra said...

@ Teeknuts: i don't even know what Cavalieri looks like, so for your sake, I hope you are right. Reina is just a wall.

No allegiance to either side here for me - If Avram was still at Chelsea - I'd be pulling for them - but with Yossi on the bench - I am just a rare neutral.

The NY Kid said...

@u75 - Titi drew 2 defenders and laid it off to Messi, who slotted it past the back-tracking defender and just wide of the GK

Andrew said...

How brilliant was yesterday's ManU-Porto match? One of the best I've seen all season.

ü75 said...

2-0. Eto'o.

ü75 said...

You FB voters can stop voting for Bayern now. They're toast 12 minutes in.

Thanks, NYK.

Lingering Bursitis said...

Georger must be dancing for joy and also finding rope to hang himself with.

The Likely Lad said...

NYK- of course i c & p'd, just the way Lingering c & p's his love letters to Torres from the Penthouse Forum

The NY Kid said...

Samuel Eto'o has now scored ~122 goals in all competition.

Bayern gets beat on the offside trap again and Eto'o megs the GK

ü75 said...

That's unusual for ESPN to be giving game updates of a match they are planning to re-air at 5 EDT.

The NY Kid said...

Dear Penthouse:

I never thought it could happen to me. At high tea the other day on Anfield Road, a blonde-locked figure walked in and it was none other than Nando Torres...Let me say, my face was redder than his uni!



Lingering Bursitis

Andrew said...

My Bayern prediction is going about as well as my Iraq War prediction. I'm never trusting Rumsfeld again!

ü75 said...

@Andrew-if not for that damn no look backpass, it would have been absolutely brilliant.

ü75 said...

Bayern almost give up another on a flubbed backpass themselves.

Messi gets a card for a dive in the box. It was very much a dive.

Teeknuts said...

Aurelio's looking a little shakey

Andrew said...

@umlaut: Yeah, Porto was the better side, but their second away goal visibly sucked the air outta OT. And that by itself is enough to turn me from six to twelve o'clock Hence, brilliance.

The NY Kid said...

I think Pep Guardiola just shit his pants yelling at the 4th official

Andrew said...

I'm watching Pool-Chelsea on tv, the other match via the intertron, and playing Championship Manager. No class Wednesdays are amazing.

Teeknuts said...

Is he scampering off the field like Joe Paterno did? God, I love that clip

The NY Kid said...

the GK just cleated Titi in the anus

The Likely Lad said...

@ ü75 (yes, i copied and pasted the ümlaut) Do not believe they are re-airing the Barca match. It's Masters shite as far as the eye can see on ESPN Classic this evening...

The NY Kid said...

the re-air of the Barca-Bayern tilt is tomorrow. Because that makes sense

Lennon's Eyebrow said...

... while henry cleated him in the face

ü75 said...

I did not know that. Stupid golf.

Lingering Bursitis said...

Guardiola's been "sent off" for his protestations. He'll watch the rest of the Bayern massacre from some cushy skybox up there in the Nou Camp's heavens.

Andrew said...

Chelsea starting to threaten.

Is this going to end up like last years 1st-leg semis, where Pool dominated for 91 minutes, only to give up a goal on a shite cross as the whistle was blown? I hope not.

Ibracadabra said...

S. Kalou interesting:

~ 80 appearances Feyenoord - 52 goals
~ 80 appearances Chelsea - 19 goals

(8 in 16 for the Ivory Coast)

The NY Kid said...

HA! I told you Kalou deserved consideration on my list!

Teeknuts said...

Oooh Lucas, you're not doing yourself any favors with shots like that

Teeknuts said...

Fuck, Liverpool really need to tighten up at the back, too many chances for Chelsea

The NY Kid said...

I would eat babies for a Ribery Bayern jersey.

Or, you know, just pay for one.

Lennon's Eyebrow said...

it's ok as long as drogba keeps blowing them

Andrew said...

O Drogba! Two muffed opportunities. See you in Serie A next season, where you can do that against Catania.

Lennon's Eyebrow said...

@Andrew: muffed? does that make drogba a muffed diver?

Andrew said...

@Umlaut: Ribery is by far my favorite player in teh Bundesliga. Too bad he'll be in a Barca/Real kit in a few years.

Andrew said...

@LE: IT DOES!

The NY Kid said...

@Andrew - the current rumour for Ribery is at Old Twatford if Ronaldo fucks off

Teeknuts said...

Wait, Bayern's keeper is named Hans Jorg Butt? I feel like this is something I should have known earlier

The NY Kid said...

@Teek - yeah, I didn't know that until they made him change his jersey. That's just fantastic stuff. He and Nicky need to wind up somewhere together

The NY Kid said...

Dear Ze Roberto - Brazilian men should not have dreadlocks/cornrows. That is all.

Teeknuts said...

I really don't like how this is playing out right now

Teeknuts said...

And there it is. Fuck.

Andrew said...

Ivanovic. Of course. Good defending, Pool. Check that. GREAT DEFENDING.

The NY Kid said...

3-0 Barca. Messi has a brace as Titi beats everyone down the left side and slides it across the goal-mouth

Andrew said...

Of all the Chelsea players, I feel Ivanovic is the one I loathe the least. So, yeah.

Andrew said...

Jesus, I want Titi back at Emirates.

Ibracadabra said...

nice away goal. good for my $20 bet on the draw at + 190.

The NY Kid said...

@Andrew - we all do. I've tried to convince him but he seems to be ignoring me lately. I mean, there's the restraining order and all, but if he would just listen...

Teeknuts said...

Oh poor Bayern. Now they get to see how it feels

Lennon's Eyebrow said...

and as he puts Barca 4-0 up, he reminds himself why he left the arse in the first place.

The NY Kid said...

4-0, messi to eto'o to Titi. This is redonkulous

Ibracadabra said...

T .Smyth confusing Malouda and Kalou for the 18th straight broadcast in a row, a new CL / ESPN record. He has really set the standard, I wonder if Christian Miles or Max Bretos will break his record when FSC gets the CL rights?

There is probably a witty racist comment to describe confusing Malouda and Kalou, but I just don't know what it is.

ü75 said...

Whatever Arabian feed I'm using for Barca/Bayern sounds like Northern Scots/Gaelic to me. He's got the inflection and the "acchh"s down pat.

Andrew said...

@LE: Come again?

@NYK: I do see him returning after next season, providing depth off the bench, tutoring our young strikers. Wait, we're talking about Championship Manager, right?

ü75 said...

That should have been 5.

ü75 said...

Barcelona may try to match Bayern's dozen from last round. In this game.

Spectator said...

Jeebus, I didn't expect Barca to shellack Bayern so convincingly.

The NY Kid said...

@Ibra - in fairness, I've done that plenty of times myself, despite having seen far too much of Malouda.

Andrew said...

Barca is being Barca. Bayern is well, being Karlsruhe. I didn't think Bayern would be such lambs at Nou Camp.

Mike Georger said...

Liverpool were not nearly as bad at defending corners the prior four years under Rafa, what the fuck is going on? They are desperately missing Mascherano, Lucas is garbage piled upon garbage topped with a shitty haircut.

Lennon's Eyebrow said...

Only Rafa could find the one Brazilian who sucks at football.

The NY Kid said...

Arsene begs to differ

Mike Georger said...

He's too slow. He's better suited for the 'elite' Italian game. GTFO Lucas.

Lennon's Eyebrow said...

It's nice to see Ribery and Henry swapping jerseys at halftime. Why go through the formalities of playing an entire second half?

Andrew said...

NYK: You forget, Denilson is not Brazilian. At best, he's Bolivian.

The Likely Lad said...

so I guess Klinsi can finally admit he's Yank-luvin' Yiddo and come home to take over for Bradley...

Andrew said...

Can someone explain why Rafa doesn't play Riera and Yossi simultaneously?

Teeknuts said...

THANK FUCKING GOD FOR JAMIE CARRAGHER

Lennon's Eyebrow said...

Bad day at the office for Drogba

Teeknuts said...

This defending is making me physically ill

Teeknuts said...

That was an amazing backpass by Frankie

Teeknuts said...

I think its about time for the Doss to make an appearance

Andrew said...

Terry is an ass. Jumps into Reina, and then goes down with a knock. I'm thinking of a word to describe Terry . . . one that rhymes with "mockbucker."

The Likely Lad said...

uh oh chelski! yellow for the weepy one!

Teeknuts said...

You've got to be fucking kidding me

Andrew said...

Ivanovic again!!!

The Likely Lad said...

what the???

really?

maybe espn did have the right game.

/contrition

Andrew said...

Sorry Teek. Horrible marking, and they should know that's all Ivanovic does for corners.

The NY Kid said...

Ivanovic x2 does not compute

The Likely Lad said...

look at the chelsea fans jumping! they probably hired muscular midgets to toss them up and catch them and toss again...

The Likely Lad said...

bad karma for 'Pool here... Yossi should be at his seder!

Teeknuts said...

What is wrong with us? We can't pass, can't defend, I honestly don't understand

Andrew said...

There Drogba goes. Goodnight, sweet Anfield. Good night, Liverpool.

Teeknuts said...

God damn, this is just like us against Man U.

Andrew said...

Well, at least Liverpool can focus on the League/FA now.

Lennon's Eyebrow said...

I think y'all might be in trouble.

The Likely Lad said...

Y'all were warned.

Andrew said...

My condolences, Teeknuts. There's no way - NO WAY - Liverpool comes back, either in this game or next Tuesday.

Spectator said...

Smyth totally wrong, no offside on drogba goal. Wow. LFC having a shocker in defense.

The Likely Lad said...

@Lennon's Eyebrow ...look at us Spurs supporters gettin down-homey

Lennon's Eyebrow said...

we're so folksy

Mike Georger said...

What's the buyout on Rafa's contract?

Aurelio and Arbeloa should never play a game again. Riise cost himself his career with this game last year, and they both should be facing the same fate. Embarrassing.

Teeknuts said...

Finally Dossena comes in. I'm not even angry at this point, there's just nothing there

The Likely Lad said...

can we revivie the Mourinho rumors now. the buyout would be a pittance against the shame of this tie.

Mike Georger said...

lucas just shot the ball backwards

Teeknuts said...

Other net Doss, the ball should go in the other net.

Andrew said...

Should I bust it out again? Yeah, I should.

"N'Gog we trust."

Teeknuts said...

Although there would be a certain poetry is Dossena scored Chelsea's fourth

Lennon's Eyebrow said...

At this point I'm looking for an Ivanovic hat trick

Andrew said...

Smyth and the Other Guy are trying too hard to talk up a Pool comeback to keep us watching.

Mike Georger said...

So let's start looking forward to next season.


This team desperately needs a new right back. Arbeloa cannot defend and is pretty slow.

Carragher is starting to decline, you could see it tonight, he's just not a spring chicken. If they let Agger walk, in a year the only reliable central defender they will have will be Skrtel.

Aurelio and Dossena both need to go. Neither can defend, and about one in ten crosses are anywhere near serviceable.

And Lucas ... ugh.

Such a disappointing season, and I blame it on Rafa's inability in the transfer market for the fourth straight year.

Lingering Bursitis said...

Georger: please shut the fuck up. The season isn't over. Not saying we're making a comeback in the 2nd leg or anything, but seriously. Is now really the time for an epitaph?

You're so damn gloomy, and after every defeat, it's the same shit: fire this guy, kill this one, sell these seven guys because they're all shit.

Lingering Bursitis said...

IT'S ONLY ONE GAME.

Oh, and based on your analysis, we need like 5 new players in the starting lineup. Please finish the hatchet job and enlighten us as to who they will be with that money we don't have.

The Likely Lad said...

play nice now, boys

Lingering Bursitis said...

I've had enough of the doom and gloom! Wipe the slate and look ahead to Saturday. Let the press correctly assert that we played like shit, and let's all move on.

After all, this is virtually the same XI that put 13 past Man U, Real and Villa. Let's not fire everyone and burn the village to the ground.

Lingering Bursitis said...

There, I feel better now.

The Likely Lad said...

Georger? You okay, buddy? Daddy's gone now, he can't hurt you anymore! Say it with me.. It's not my fault, it's not my fault

Lingering Bursitis said...

Oh for chrissakes... if we can't stand a little bit of "fuck you" and "fuck this", why do we even bother with soccer and commenting anyway?

c0rrine said...

fuck my holes i need consolation
:(:(:(!!!!!

LOL! LOOK AT MY VERFICATION WORD:
http://pic-spot.com/images/cqs1239224051z.jpg

Lingering Bursitis said...

Chalk my reaction up to knee-jerk rage. I'm going to take a bath in hydrochloric acid.

Mike Georger said...

Lucas isn't in the starting eleven except for sake of suspensions and injuries. He is a depth problem. When you get to this part of the season, you need players that can competently serve in that role. He does not fit that mold. He had two shooting chances tonight, he put one thirty yards over, and one he shot backwards, sorry, but he just is not good enough. This isn't Arsenal where they only need one decent holding player to be happy, Rafa refuses to play outside of the two holding player role, and you have to have more than two who can actually fit that role if you're going to do that.

The fullbacks have been a problem all fucking year, this is not a new thing. Neither Aurelio or Dossena were brought in for their defensive abilities, but their hit and miss depth providing does not make up for the fact that they are, frankly, liabilities when playing in defense. I pray that Insua is the real deal, and from what I have seen of him, I'm confident.

And while selling Steve Finnan was the right move, Arbeloa just can't get it done on a regular basis. He is a good passer, and links well with Kuyt, but damnit he is not a good defender.

These are not new problems, and while I have been critical of Benitez all year long, I guarantee I've been critical of the same players. And again, it's not like Benitez doesn't realize this, he brought in what he thought would be two starting fullbacks last summer, and both are now punchlines.

Sorry if I don't think they're going to the Bridge and winning three nothing, and sorry if I think the title race is probably out of reach. But damnit this team had a chance to take everything into their own hands this year and they fucking blew it, I'm not going to apologize for being disappointed with that.

Lingering Bursitis said...

It's fine Georger. We express our anger in different ways. I lash out like an alcoholic father. The last thing I want to hear when we lose is the obvious.

Lingering Bursitis said...

Now let's never fight again

Mike Georger said...

But LET ME MAKE THIS CLEAR .... I'm not disagreeing with your doom and gloom assessment of me, I'm absolutely a pessimist.

Lingering Bursitis said...

ha, that's fine. Apologies for my lashing out. I hate losing, but I hate losing to Chelsea more. Makes me fucking ill.

Mike Georger said...

Hey I was throwing around Andre Escobar comments after last year's debacle, so I understand.

If we could just now have an England free final, if they don't mount a huge comeback that is, I would be soo happy.

Lingering Bursitis said...

Oil and water, we are. I try going the meditation route, and you're just telling it like it is.

Now let's focus on the common enemy: United.

Spectator said...

Okay, now that you two have made up, why don't you get a room??

Mike Georger said...

I'd advise against that, I haven't showered in a few days.

Andrew said...

I like how c0rrine asks to be "fucked in her holes" and then LB and Georger begin their tete-a-tete, oblivious to her comment. We really - re-he-he-he-heally - like our footie here at UF.

c0rrine said...

i think that's my most commonly used phrase please pardon my obscenity

aw man this is so rough

Bigus Dickus said...

Really? You use it in public? Does anyone respond?