Friday, April 24, 2009

Chav Mobile

I'll admit that I don't have the best grasp of exactly what a Chav is. I imagine them to be some mixture of Guidos, Ricers and Rednecks. (If I missed offensively naming a similar group, please let me know). Broad, I know, but I'm not British.

Anyway, if Chavs are the delightful mixture that I put together above, then do I have just the phone for them to buy steal. Courtesy of Liverpool FC and Galentia, The Liverpool FC Legends Edition mobile phone.

Chavs aren't Pikeys (I'm on a roll), why would I have them steal it? Well, the price is a tad steep. For just south of £15,000, this phone can be yours. What do you get for such a price? Awesomeness, that's what.

Exclusivity: only 250 will be made
Garishness: Each phone is cased in 18 karat gold
Opulence: 18 diamonds encrusted on the back casing, representing 18 league titles
Useless knickknack: A commemorative medallion featuring Anfield
Small pet coffin: It all comes in a black walnut box
So the obvious joke is that Liverpool have already counted themselves out of the EPL race, because of the 18 diamonds. But we knew that anyway, right?

And if the phone just isn't gaudy enough for you, Galentia offers Bespoke Service, which is Limey-speak for pimping something out even further. As the Galentia website says "(i)t may be just a name added, or perhaps diamonds or different precious metals, but it is your personal taste and vision that can be realised." So if you want Rafa's goatee hair added to your phone, they will do it for you.

Finally, for all of those who stumble across this page looking for an actual Chavmobile, here it is.

Gotta say, I'm impressed.


Mike Georger said...

I wonder why the plaid paint scheme for cars never caught on?

JT said...

dude, that's the Burberry plaid, innit? Chavs LOVE Burberry, or Paul Smith, or Helly Hansen. I used to have a Helly Hansen windbreaker. Everyone did.

Bigus Dickus said...

Nah, ya real chav loves Hackett and Stone Island for real.

JT said...

I'm talking Scouse chavs. It's all Burberry and HH

Bigus Dickus said...

Wha-ever Brutha.