Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Cricket and Boobs Terminology Primer


Cricketer and Boob


Judging by the comments today, it seems a large group of you are unfamiliar with cricket and its natural partner, boobs. So given that C&B's loyal readers are our first priority, I've put together this little summation of cricket terms and how they relate to boobs. Hopefully, the piece here can help to make this wonderful, globally-adored sport more accessible to our North American crew... and even Joep Smeets, who clearly needs a tutorial.


Jaffa (also "corker")



An exceptionally well bowled, practically unplayable delivery, usually but not always from a fast bowler. That is, you have no chance.


The Agricultural Shot



This is a swing across the line of the ball played without much technique. Often one that results in a chunk of the pitch being dug up by the bat. Think Beckham's PK at Portugal.


Anchor



A top-order batsman capable of batting for a long duration throughout the innings. Think me, with your mum. Usually batsman playing at numbers 3 or 4 play this role, especially if there is a batting collapse--which are really sad. An anchor plays defensively, and is often the top scorer in the innings.


Beamer



A delivery that reaches the batsman at around head height without bouncing. Due to the risk of injury to the batsman, a beamer is an illegal delivery, punishable by a no ball being called.


Beehive



A diagram showing where a number of balls, usually from a particular bowler, have passed the batsman. Our lady here has had many a ball pass her batsmen.


Buffet bowling



Bowling of a very poor quality, such that the batsmen is able to "come and help himself" to runs, also "Cafeteria Bowling," also called "Lunchlady Bowling," and "Delia Bowling."


Chest-on



Two meanings for this one:
1) A chest-on bowler has chest and hips aligned towards the batsman at the instant of back foot contact.
2)A batsman is said to be chest-on if his hips and shoulders face the bowler.
This is simple stuff... I'm being gratuitous now.


Dolly



A very easy catch.


Floater



A delivery bowled by a spinner that travels in a highly arched path appearing to 'float' in the air.


"Getting your eye in"



When the batsman takes his time to assess the condition of the pitch, ball or weather etc before starting to attempt more risky strokes.


Popper



A ball that rises sharply from the pitch when bowled ('pops up'). Note: Urban dictionary has an alternative definition, so feel free to consult there as well.


Rabbit (or a "Bunny")



I. a particularly bad batsman, usually a specialist bowler. A "rabbit" often seems unsure of how he should even hold his bat (see: Bigus until his 28th birthday) as typified by Georger, Kopper, The New York Kid and Chris Martin (from Coldplay.) See also ferret.
II. The term is also used for a higher order batsman who is out frequently to the same bowler (Lingering), although then most often in the form bunny; for example, Autoglass is sometimes described by commentators as "Glenn McGrath's bunny".


Wag



Nooo, not that kind. (Who's editing these photos anyway??) A Wag is when tail-enders score more runs than they are expected to (as in: the tail wagged).


Thanks for joining us for the debut edition of the Cricket and Boobs Terminology Primer... join us tomorrow, same time, same place, for more Boobs... and Cricket.

(Cheers to WikiCricket!)

4 comments:

The Fan's Attic said...

Inboobitably interesting.

Magnakai Haaskivi said...

This is a hell of a way to get out of liveblogging the US-T&T game tonight.

The NY Kid said...

A "rabbit" often seems unsure of how he should even hold his bat...as typified by...The New York Kid

This means I am a white rapper from Detroit, no?

phil said...

That's odd. I always thought Dolly was a floater.