What happens when buxom blondes are given a little airtime during a cricket match? Find out after the jump. (NSFW!) New video up.
Here's the deal. The original video had under 2000 hits on youtube in the year it had been up there before we posted it on April 1. It was pulled on April 2. So now we are left with the video With Leather ripped and posted. Thanks, leather aficionados!
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Showing posts with label Cricket and Boobs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Cricket and Boobs. Show all posts
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
And now, the coup d'grace!
Sledging: because it's hard to be quiet for five days.
This cricketing WAG could sledge me all day if she wanted, provided I could toboggan her laterAs the terrace chant is to the beautiful game and heckling is to comedians, so sledging is to cricket. After all, even the world's most genteel, civilized game needs some casual racism.
Behold the horror after the jump!
Sledging is the term given to the art of yelling and shouting at your opponents while the game is in progress. Normally, the fielding side will use it to unsettle the batsmen as they try to hit the little red thing, and it can be quite effective. Other times, if the batsmen are finding the going good at the wicket, they'll look to distract bowlers and close fielders from the task at hand: getting them out.
Most of the time, it's petty stuff: bragging about hitting a six, or ridiculing the tail-ender as he cannot bat to save his life.
But other times, shit gets racial!
How frightful! The Indian guy called the dreadlocked Aussie, he of the over-eager zinc application around the face, a "monkey", sending the game into a flurry of harsh words spoken and fingers pointed. I mean, it's a horrible thing to do, but still; the cricket must go on! Sometimes the fans get into it too, making them the equivalent of Atletico Madrid supporters, or so I hear.
As if India/Australian relations were bad, there's also a fair bit of aggro between the Sri Lankans and the South Africans. Check out this abhorrent display of sledging from a one-day international in 2006:
Or this, from England/Australia.
Mark Boucher from South Africa is especially good with the sledge:
Aye, it's always good to appreciate just how far the dark art has come. Back in WG Grace's time during the early 19th century, he quipped the following after being clean bowled:"Twas the wind which took thy bail orf [sic], good sir." The umpire had a quip of his own: "Indeed, doctor, and let us hope thy wind helps the good doctor on thy journey back to the pavilion."
So next time you settle in front of the TV for a Test match, turn up the volume loud lest you miss the sweet, sweet sound of one player saying something derogatory to another player.
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Cricket and Boobs Terminology Primer
Judging by the comments today, it seems a large group of you are unfamiliar with cricket and its natural partner, boobs. So given that C&B's loyal readers are our first priority, I've put together this little summation of cricket terms and how they relate to boobs. Hopefully, the piece here can help to make this wonderful, globally-adored sport more accessible to our North American crew... and even Joep Smeets, who clearly needs a tutorial.
An exceptionally well bowled, practically unplayable delivery, usually but not always from a fast bowler. That is, you have no chance.
This is a swing across the line of the ball played without much technique. Often one that results in a chunk of the pitch being dug up by the bat. Think Beckham's PK at Portugal.
A top-order batsman capable of batting for a long duration throughout the innings. Think me, with your mum. Usually batsman playing at numbers 3 or 4 play this role, especially if there is a batting collapse--which are really sad. An anchor plays defensively, and is often the top scorer in the innings.
A delivery that reaches the batsman at around head height without bouncing. Due to the risk of injury to the batsman, a beamer is an illegal delivery, punishable by a no ball being called.
A diagram showing where a number of balls, usually from a particular bowler, have passed the batsman. Our lady here has had many a ball pass her batsmen.
Bowling of a very poor quality, such that the batsmen is able to "come and help himself" to runs, also "Cafeteria Bowling," also called "Lunchlady Bowling," and "Delia Bowling."
Two meanings for this one:
1) A chest-on bowler has chest and hips aligned towards the batsman at the instant of back foot contact.
2)A batsman is said to be chest-on if his hips and shoulders face the bowler.
This is simple stuff... I'm being gratuitous now.
A very easy catch.
A delivery bowled by a spinner that travels in a highly arched path appearing to 'float' in the air.
When the batsman takes his time to assess the condition of the pitch, ball or weather etc before starting to attempt more risky strokes.
A ball that rises sharply from the pitch when bowled ('pops up'). Note: Urban dictionary has an alternative definition, so feel free to consult there as well.
I. a particularly bad batsman, usually a specialist bowler. A "rabbit" often seems unsure of how he should even hold his bat (see: Bigus until his 28th birthday) as typified by Georger, Kopper, The New York Kid and Chris Martin (from Coldplay.) See also ferret.
II. The term is also used for a higher order batsman who is out frequently to the same bowler (Lingering), although then most often in the form bunny; for example, Autoglass is sometimes described by commentators as "Glenn McGrath's bunny".
Nooo, not that kind. (Who's editing these photos anyway??) A Wag is when tail-enders score more runs than they are expected to (as in: the tail wagged).
Thanks for joining us for the debut edition of the Cricket and Boobs Terminology Primer... join us tomorrow, same time, same place, for more Boobs... and Cricket.
(Cheers to WikiCricket!)
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Billionaire Fraudster Really Enjoys His Cricket
Sir Allen Stanford is known in the cricket world for setting up the Twenty20 last year between the England squad and an all-star international squad. He is known in the financial world for allegedly perpetrating an $8 billion "certificates of deposit" fraud.
Given his behavior at cricket matches, he's probably still more popular within the financial world.
The Googly, The Beamer, The LBW
This week, we take a look at one of the game's most historic clubs, Marylebone Cricket Club. Or, as I'm wont to call it because I can't pronounce Marylebone--MCC. MCC were founded way back in 1787 and remain relevant to this day because of one important thing--their home ground is Lord's.
Yes, that Lord's. The ground so famous it even found its way into a Douglas Adams novel. THE hallowed ground of English cricket. Plus, they house the rules of the game, or something. But that's not why we are looking at MCC today. No, it's because we are taking the time to look at one of the horror jumpers of MCC's past.
Oh my goodness. What the heck was going on here? While I can stand the cream color, just slightly, and I can stomach a cable knit, I can't have them together. This is like having a PB&J with any J other than Grape. It just doesn't work.
And what about those garish colors in the stripes? I see red, yellow, green and navy. Excuse me, did the chairman of MCC own a colored yarn factory as well? It's too much to handle on the cricket pitch. All of those colors flying at you when the bowler takes his run up--it would be nigh-on impossible to pick a bright red ball against that background.
What were the manufacturers high on? Compare the sweater above with this modern one modeled by MCC youth hottie Kate Oakenfold:
So much better, huh? I bet Kate and her mates look at old pictures of players from the club and just laugh at the horror shows they used to sport. I know I would have been if I could have regained my sight after seeing this one for the first time.
YUCK! A true Leg Before Wi@#et!!!
Which Step Is It Where You Acknowledge The Problem?
Does he suffer from a case of he wobbly wickets?
Badboy Kiwi Jesse Ryder just might have an issue with alcohol. Perhaps. Maybe. Last winter Ryder severed tendons in his hand when he pulled a Charles Barkley, except he didn't throw somebody through a glass window. Rather, he threw his fist through the window. This January he was also axed from a match after a bit of a bender.
Says Ryder:
“I thought I could control my drinking better but that is obviously not the case.”
It's not limited to the rowdy Kiwi though, as Pakistani punk Shahid Afridi is accused of slapping a fan. That's not exactly tough, it's more Carmelo Anthony-esque, but hey it's not all tea and crumpets.
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CRICKET WORLD CHANGES THE RULES. MLB EXPECTS MASS EXODUS.
In a spectacular move yesterday, the ICC International Cricket Council announced that baseball bats and baseball pitching would finally be allowed in World cricket. The echoes of joy from America could be heard in the Premier League cricket grounds of Pakistan and at Headingly, the amazing, ginormous (17,000 capacity) home of Yorkshire county cricket. For many years now, disgruntled baseball players, irked at the ridiculous drug testing policy and small salaries that MLB has offered have been looking for a way to join the cricket revolution. As you know, Cricket is the fastest growing sport in the World and it's hard to drive by a park in Texas or old Lacrosse field on Long Island without seeing budding young cricketers practicing their googlies. The streets of Brooklyn are filled with wayward 4's and screams of "HOWZAT".
One player who said he would immediately look into joining a team in Pakistan is Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez. Frustration with his modest contract and persecution by the media over the small, trivial matter of taking steroids has made the Yankees slugger bitter at Americas pastime.
How A-Rod might look on the practice field.
I have always dreamed of playing in Pakistan, to be able to hit a 6 instead of a solo home run will allow me to surpass the all time run records much sooner than I expected. - Alex Rodriguez, NY Yankees.
Another player keen to swing his Louisville slugger at the red leather is veteran Gary Sheffield. Just released from the Detroit Tigers, Sheffield has had a storied career in baseball. He now feels at 40 that his chance for glory could be upon him.
It's kind of a surprise being released, but now I have the opportunity to try my luck in the World of International Cricket. I've hit 499 home runs in my career but that will mean nothing to me when i connect with my first 6 against the likes of such cricket giants as Glamorgan - Gary Sheffield.
From the Angels to the A's and from Texas to Toronto, players are looking to escape their contracts in efforts to become the next big star of World Cricket. One pitcher who has feigned an injury in order to take a few days off to see if he could 'find the wickets' with his pitch is Los Angeles starter John Lackey. Lackey even had a painkilling injection to make sure his attempts at fulfilling his dreams stayed secret.
Speaking from his newly built underground Cricket center, Lackey spoke freely, unaware of the hidden microphone attached to my nuts.
I've been practicing for a few days now and my fast ball finds those wickets every damn time. Watch out Khurrum Manzoor, I'm coming to getcha! - John Lackey.
A Hero's Welcome!
It is unclear how many baseball players will leave America to join the galacticos of such mighty cricket teams as Warwickshire and Somerset but one thing is for sure, get those teapots ready England. Prepare the cucumber sandwiches and order more stumps, the fastballs of the baseball world are on their way. Get ready Pakistan and make way Sarfraz Ahmed, the Bagh-e-Jinnah Stadium no longer belongs to you, it's now the home of former Kansas City superstar Coco Crisp.
-Bigus.
Chris Tucker Said Something About This Once
In America, cricketers get a bad rap, if they get any rap at all. The sport is seen as that of the British elite requiring little physicality and generally a bit too genteel. This video should dispel the horrific notion that cricketers are soft. The batsman could hold his own with any catcher in baseball.
After the jump, a second showing of the NSFW female streaker video....70s style (just because we know you loved it the first time).
Such a Polite Game!
Cricket is such a polite game. They interrupt matches for tea! They use polite terms like "wickets" and "bowling." They wear cute little uniforms.
And speaking of clothes, Queensland Cricket paceman Mitchell Johnson perhaps needs to spend a little money on some for his lovely lady Jess Bratich, as she seems to be missing some of hers:
I mean really, that's just not the sort of thing that's done in the polite company of cricketers. They are more used to the tranquility and beauty of the pitch (umm, NSFW):
Hmm. That's strange - that sort of thing never happens in cricket. And usually the cameramen are loathe to provide any more attention to those doing the streaking. Ah, they're such prudes, those cameramen!
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