Saturday, December 13, 2008

Whoa, Whoa... You Mean They Play Football in Someplace Besides England?

Pretty much the only thing supporters of the Big 4 in England will agree on right now is that nobody wants a piece of Barcelona in the Champions League. And for Thirdsenal and Spartak London, it's a very real Round of 16 possibility.

FC Barcelona is a fucking machine right now. Okay, not a literal fucking machine (which I've recently learned do in fact exist (and NOT EVEN CLOSE TO SAFE FOR WORK))... Where was I? Oh, El Clasico. Today is Crayola's dream match up of the Blaugrana and the Meringues.

Barcelona comes in as easily the best team in Europe (okay, we might entertain an argument for Inter, but not really), and Lionel Messi looks the best player on the planet. He's ever bit a good on the ball as Ronaldo but has the bonus feature of being able to stay upright.

Real Madrid stumbles into today's match an absolute mess. They are 2-3-1 in their last six La Liga matches, including a lifeforce-draining loss last week to Sevilla where they rallied from 3-0 down to tie, only to see Arjen Robben get sent off before conceding the loser in the dying moments.


But after firing Bernd Schuster earlier in the week, Real Den Haag—and feel free to pilfer that one—brought in Juande Ramos, the man who guided Tottenham to the Carling Cup last season before piloting them straight into the relegation zone to start this season. He got shit-canned out of White (S)Hart Lane but Ramos was able to get a convincing 3-0 Champions League win over Zenit St. Petersburg, in a match that proved to be utterly meaningless. Now he'll face an actual opponent.

If you are an impartial viewer this is a 'no lose' watch. If Barca totally outclasses Madrid, they probably won't let up and will put a dismantling for the ages on them. Barca are probably looking for a bit of revenge from last season, and they know that with a win tomorrow today (Oops, I shouldn't future post) they can effectively kill any chance of Madrid winning La Liga. If Madrid wins, it'll will be an absolute shocker (the match is at the Camp Nou). Anything close and this has the capacity to be a harbinger of the apocalypse. Isn't hyperbole awesome?

If I can subtract from 12, kickoff seems to be at 4 on the East Coast. Find a bar with GolTV and start drinking. Heavily. Might I recommend Voll-Damm (as in Fall Down) if they serve it anyplace here in the US?

13 comments:

Sarah said...

The Ray Hudson Drinking Game.

Precious Roy said...

I simultaneously both love and hate Ray Hudson. Magic!

Andrew said...

On point Sarah, on point.

JT said...

Sarah, that was brilliant

phil said...

"If he smelled a soccer jockstrap, he'd melt away."

Oh, Ray, you know Tom Cruise all to well....

Andrew said...

heh heh heh

I actually found a bar showing the game in Daytona Beach. I'm not sure anyone fully understands the gravity of this coup.

Sarah said...

Ray is in fantastic form tonight. "They just come at you like a starburst, Phil!"

Kopper said...

He sure is... referring to Sjneider as the "dutchie"

Mike 'Fire Rafa' Georger said...

The hit job on Messi is fucking shameful. This is the kind of shit that SAF imagines happens to CR, except it is real this time.

For shame Madrid,you're better than that. Oh wait, no you aren't; I hope you all die.

Mike 'Fire Rafa' Georger said...

Attaboy Marquez, get some retribution.

phil said...

Agreed, Georger. The RM strategy seems to be to kick Messi in the ankles at every turn. Yet another reason to despise Juande.

Mike 'Fire Rafa' Georger said...

Terrifying: Messi is still only 21. If he stays healthy he has a shot at best ever, in my opinion. And I think he may be a career Barca guy too.

phil said...

Wow. And Messi makes Iker Casillas look like Martin Fulop.

Amazing.