Thursday Backpasses: All-Star hangover

Tevez wants Ronaldo gone, more or less [Guardian]
Will Ferrell wanted to be a pro soccer player. When he was 7 [OC Register]
Chinaglia has all kinds of excuses for his Lazio mess. When in doubt, say it was the Hungarians [Irish Times]
Emile Heskey's finacee robbed at knife point. Not well liked in Wigan, then [Guardian]
Alfonso Alves may or may not have signed a pre-contract with AZ Alkmaar before being transferred to 'Boro. Court decides "may not" [Goal]

And, finally:
Cristiano Ronaldo is now mahogany [Daily Mail]