Friday, July 11, 2008

FA Cup of British Rock: Round of 16 / Match #1

These are the ground rules: 16 teams, each represented by a musician or band who happens to be a supporter. You, our fair reader, vote on who advances. Use whatever criteria you wish: favorite team, favorite band, prettiest uniforms (looking at you Elton), etc. Ballot stuffing is not encouraged, but will be tolerated, because we’re just as corrupt as the real FA. Voting for the Round of 16 will close on Sunday, July 20.

Here’s our first match-up:

The Stone Roses, that Madchester baggy band who rose to fame circa 1989, representing Manchester United.

- versus -

Elton John, ducksuit-wearing pop pianist, as well as lifelong supporter and chairman of Watford.

If the Stone Roses never existed, someone would’ve invented them: Rising to fame despite having a lead singer who can’t really carry a tune (still to this day, God bless him!) thanks to attitude, a tight rhythm section, a mercurial guitarist, and a sound that crossed over from rock to dance just as piles of E were landing on English soil. And then it all went horribly wrong: lingering legal problems with an old label and hard drugs led to a massive delay of their follow-up Second Coming (which, in retrospect, isn’t as bad as advertised at the time), by which time Brit Pop had passed the Roses by, leading to a still-lingering feud between childhood friend Ian Brown and John Squire. But the Stone Roses were always about the collective experience, such as 75,000 signing “This Is the One” as Manchester United come out at the beginning of matches. And, a very little known fact about the Stone Roses is that in the early ‘90s their bassist Mani was once caught on TV spitting at Gordon Strachan, who had left the Reds for Leeds United (I looked for footage to no avail). Although, now it looks like they’ve kissed and made up and Mani claims that he’s a Celtic fan – probably spending too much time with Bobby Gillespie. In any case, Manchester United are hardly ever underdogs, but the Stone Roses were, and if not the Stone Roses than Man U would be stuck with Mick Hucknall.

Okay, despite the embarrassing ducksuit, Elton John deserves props for being one of the only 70s/80s pop musicians to actually age gracefully. I mean, can you imagine Billy Joel hanging out with Eminen, Timbaland and the Scissor Sisters? Not very likely. Sir Elton might be most famous for that maudlin post-Diana “Candle in the Wind” business, but just try listening to "Rocket Man" or "I'm Still Dancing Standing" [ed: oops! I quit for a reason] a couple times without it being stuck in your head for weeks. And then, to his greatest credit, Elton John took the reins of Watford FC starting in 1976, and guided the team from the then-fourth division all the way up to a few spells in the top flight. As the club’s honorary “president for life,” Sir Elton still regularly attends games and even gets actively involved in the club from time to time, such as when Al Bangoura was threatened with deportation. Yes, the bitch is back, indeed!

And now... You decide which team will advance to the next round.


ΓΌ75 said...

A conundrum in the first matchup. Do I vote for the Stone Roses, or against Man U?

/against always wins out

The NY Kid said...

9-1. I see that Bigus has voted already.

Sarah said...

I had the exact same delimma. I love the Roses, but cannot bring myself to vote for anyone/thing linked with Man United. So it's gotta b-b-be Sir Elton.

/lame, I know

Mike Georger said...

simpsons cameo = winner

on a related note

how this asshole claims to be an arsenal fan when all he ever talks about is his undying love for ronaldo and beckbag is beyond me

Mike Georger said...

btw, is robbie williams getting in on this with port vale?

god i love robbie williams

Chad said...

Not only do I get the pleasure of voting against Man U... I actually do like Elton John.

/straight male

Andrew said...

I was actually listening to the Roses today. Spooky.

So I voted for them. And immediately regret my decision.

Joep Smeets said...

unlike many of you, I'm not particularly against Man U and am not willing to allow anything like that cloud my sense of musical judgement. Stone Roses without a doubt. I suppose that's the advantage of not supporting and EPL team. Another advantage of course would be not having to watch the EPL ;)