...And now for something completely different

For most boys of a certain age, there was a time just before hair started sprouting out of interesting places that several things took on vast importance. These things included sports and Monty Python. I am guessing that Andrew, one of our loyal readers, looks back at that time just as fondly as yours truly, because he pointed out that tWWL’s Soccernet is promoting some sort of hybrid between football and John Cleese called The Art of Football from A to Z.

Interviews with the world’s greatest fans and players – from Pele, to Platini, to Wim Wenders of all people – and lots of good British humor in a delightful romp from the A to Z’s of football. The couple clips on the website make this look hilarious, perfect viewing for the summer doldrums. Look, they even show the fantastic German versus Greek philosophers 11-on-11 sketch from Monty Python!

Click on the What’s On tab and it appears that this new show is currently playing on ESPN Classic! Fantastic! Who cares if the program is actually a couple years old. It’s John Cleese, and other famous people, talking about football! And it's funny! But wait, what’s this? Oh.... it’s only playing on ESPN Classic England.

Yes, that's right. No John Cleese for the Americans. While there are rumors of ESPN Classic U.S. being turned into ESPN3, all futbol all the time, a scan through the current schedule on ESPN Classic reveals such exciting fare as reruns of Stump the Schwab and Arli$$ (both possibly the worst shows to ever grace American television sets). C’mon the World Wide Leader, you couldn’t pony up the cash to license this John Cleese program for the United States?

After all, if Americans know anything about Great Britain, it’s John Cleese – I mean, Monty Python, Faulty Towers, Fish Called Wanda, even a turn as Q in a couple of James Bond movies. What better way to introduce futbol to a wider audience? And why promote a program on soccernet.com that Americans can’t even watch?

In the meantime, we'll just have to make due with the following:

He's not pining! He's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! He's expired and gone to meet his maker! He's a stiff! Bereft of life, he rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed him to the perch he'd be pushing up the daisies! His metabolic processes are now history! He's off the twig! He's kicked the bucket, He's shuffled off this mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleeding choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!