Getting To Know: Alexandre Pato

This is the face of the future of Brazilian soccer. Ugh.

Alexandre Rodrigues da Silva, step right up. You are the next over-hyped teenager to fall flat on your face when you realize just how much money you have. Your nickname means Alex the Duck. You have probably seen more naked women at your age than I ever will, and I have the internet. Thankfully, you play for Milan, so I can hate you without feeling guilty.


The story goes that Pato was so good in training for his first senior club, Internacional in Brazil, that the team forbade its players from talking about him. They did not want their secret to get out for fear of losing him. He made his debut at 17, and, lo and behold, was off to Milan 8 months later for about $30 million.

Italian law stopped him from being able to play official matches until the transfer window after his 18th birthday. He made his debut yesterday, to a whole lot of fanfare. Predictably, in the 74th minute, he scored. I'll note that it was 73 minutes later than he scored on his debut in Brazil, perhaps he has gone soft? Anyway, after his goal (nice control, keeper blew it) he pandered to the crowd by kissing the badge. When I saw this, I thought, 'How nice, this kid came through the ranks and scored for his hometown club. What a nice thing for him.' It wasn't until I websearched him later in the day (between looking at the nekkid wimminz) that I discovered this was not the case.

Besides, it's just one game. Although you can see plenty of skill from the vid above, I submit to you that youtube can make anyone look good, no matter what the age. Check out these kids, the future saviors of Brazil and Australia, respectively.