Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Euro 2008 Liveblog: Czech Republic v. Portugal

Welcome to the liveblog for the Czech Republic - Portugal match. The first "tale of the tape": models.

Czech Republic models: Demure

Portuguese models: Teases

As for the actual match, join me after the jump for line-ups and live-bloggisms.

The starting roster for the Czech Republic:

GK - Cech
DEF - Grygera, Ujfalusi (C), Rozehnal, Jankulovski
MID - Galasek, Plasil, Polak, Matejovsky, Sionko
ST - Baros

The starting roster for the Iberian Stepovers:

GK - Ricardo
DEF - Bosingwa, Pepe, Carvalho, Ferreira
MID - Petit, Moutinho, Ronaldo, Deco, Simao
ST - Gomes (C)

Things to note: Milan Baros starting up top in place of Jan Koller. Apparently, bald and old is no way to go through life, son.

Other notes: In order to watch the game in HD and live-blog at the same time, I am running things on my laptop, using my wireless network. So, any outages in updates are due to my running upstairs to power-cycle my router. You've been warned.

00:00 - The Czech Republic national anthem is entitled "Where is my home" - that seems a little maudlin.

2 minutes into the live-blog, and the first comment is a masturbation joke. Well done!

00:01 - And we're off!

00:39 - Carvalho with a ball to nowhere that results in a long ball to Baros on the counter. Baros then commits a foul.

02:40 - Baros is already looking lonely up top, although the Czech Republic are getting good pressure.

04:25 - Throw-in for Czechs leads to absolute shite, as the ball goes across the pitch and rolls out. Ronaldo with the throw for Portugal.

07:17 - GOAL! Portugal 1 - Czech Republic 0. Ronaldo dribbles into the box, and Cech makes the save but the ball flits to Deco who megs Jankulovsky to score.

10:07 -Portugal much more energetic after the goal, applying more pressure down the right side of the pitch. They should be - the goal was against the run of the play and Cech almost made the second save.

11:40 - Another Czech attack leads to a poor long ball. They are definitely looking out of form now, despite several attacks.

14:20 - Ronaldo with his first douchebag move, followed by a shot from Petit, which is taken easily by Cech.

15:00 - Baros gets a shot off, but it is high over the bar. Carvalho breathes easy.

15:50 - Sionko tries to play the ball across the goal mouth, but Portugal clears.

16:15 - Czech corner. GOAL! Portugal 1 - Czech Republic 1. Beautiful header by Sionko off the corner. No chance for the keeper.

18:00 - Tommy Smyth describes the goal as "Andy Gray-esque." Insightful.

19:53 - Petit takes his second shot for Portugal, but it is equally shite. Perhaps the holding midfielder is not the best striker in the world?

22:00 - First yellow of the match for Jan Polak (STUPID MISTAKE!) for a challenge from behind. 50/50 on whether a card is warranted, as he got the ball.

23:00 - Ronaldo down the right side of the pitch, and he gets the ball taken away yet again. Despite setting up the goal, he looks positively human.

23:37 - Nice shot from Deco, moving away from the goal. The ball rises up and to the right, not troubling Cech.

24:01 - Ronaldo gets off a nice shot in traffic despite being surrounded by 4 red shirts, but Cech handles it easily.

24:50 - Pepe gets an arm to the mouth in a collision with Baros going for a header.

28:00 - Corner for Czech Republic after Pepe fails to save the ball from going out. The ball comes across the goal after Ricardo completely mistimed his attempt at a clearance, but the Portuguese eventually boot it out.

30:01 - Yellow card for Bosingwa after Portugal is disposessed and Galasek clears the ball.

31:57 - Another poor ball across the pitch from Petit. At this rate, Scolari may flay him alive at half-time.

32:42 - Ronaldo makes a nice run down the left side of the pitch, eventually winning a throw-in. The ball is played back in but Simao fouls Jankulovski, so the ball goes back to the Czechs.

34:38 - Paolo Ferreira plays a nice ball into the 6, but Czech Republic clears and counters. Baros makes some magic and then plays the ball back into the middle, but the attack breaks down.

37:00 - Carvalho commits the foul on Baros, leading to a free kick in a dangerous spot. The ball goes out wide out to Grygara, who cocks it up.

38:20 - After the ball bounces around a bit, Ronaldo receives the ball and is disposessed by Grygara. The ball comes back out to Moutinho, who takes a poor shot that is easily handled by Cech.

40:08 - Corner for Portugal, delivered short by Simao to Deco. The ball is put back in and cleared by Ujfalusi for another corner. The second corner winds up on the opposite side of the pitch and played out by Portugal.

41:17 - Ronaldo with his first great shot at the match. Left-footer from about 23 yards out, and Cech makes a beautiful diving save. The throw-in leads to nothing.

43:11 - Ronaldo receives the ball in the middle of the pitch, but the ball is taken from him. Ronaldo, after a slight touch from Ujfalusi, goes down faster than a Thai hooker for a $5 bill.

44:45 - We are threatened with Rece Davis and Julie Foudy yet again for the halftime "analysis."

45:00 (+00:35) - Matejovsky commits a foul 30 yards out, and this is the last play of the half. Simao and Ronaldo line up over it, and Ronaldo takes it right at Cech, who gobbles it up.

Half-time and lunchtime - Stouffer's French-bread pizza or Chef Boyardee Spaghetti and Meatballs? Also, 6 comments for my first-ever live-blog? We better be up to 110 by the end of the game, or I am going to develop low self-esteem.

Dear Nike: I am not Dutch. Please revise your commercials accordingly.

45:28 - As the second half starts, Tommy Smyth opines on the brilliance of replacing Jan Koller with Milan Baros. Really? You think so, do you?

46:29 - Petit plays the ball into Ronaldo, who is dumped yet again. Naturally, he pouts and puts up his hand to the ref. Tosser.

47:00 - Corner kick for Portugal leads nothing.

47:30 - Czech Republic pushes forward and Sionko pushes the ball across the goal mouth, which Baros barely misses. The resulting corner leads to nothing.

Our resident Chelsea fan, in a bit of irony, questions the fortitude of Czech defender Grygera. I will not make any Ashley Cole comments. I will not make any Ashley Cole comments.

49:00 - Cech misplays the ball, resulting in a Portugal corner, which in turn leads to nothing. Relatively poor dead ball work from both teams.

51:00 - Tommy Smyth says "surely Ronaldo got tripped there." No, he didn't, and don't call me Shirley you Welsh twit.

52:00 - Gomes receives the ball with his back to the goal at the 18, but he turns and puts his shot straight at Cech.

54:45 - Gomes lopes past Rozehnal after a bad touch, but the Czech defender recovers to put it out for a corner. Simao takes the corner, but it leads to nothing.

56:50 - Free kick for the Czechs from 35 yards. The ball is put into the box and cleared by Pepe.

57:50 - Deco with a beautiful through ball to Simao, and Cech makes an excellent save with his left hand/foot. Good positioning from the keeper.

59:30 - Portugal with yet another opportunity built through the midfield. They are really starting to assert themselves, although the Czechs are defending well.

60:00 - Tommy Smyth opines that perhaps Koller is warming up because Baros doesn't have the fitness to play the full 90 minutes, bolstering his argument by mentioning that Baros was only a substitute in the Portsmouth-Cardiff City final.

61:20 - Corner for the Czechs, and Ujifalusi gets a head on it. It flashes across the goal mouth, but no one can get a head on it.

62:30 - GOAL! Portugal 2 - Czech Republic 1. Ronaldo is fed a ball across the box from Deco and absolutely blasts it home past Cech.

64:40 - Petit chops Jankulovski approximately 17 seconds after the ball is gone, leading to a free kick. (France's Petit >>>>>>>>>>>> Portugal's Petit). The free kick is served well, and Ricardo takes a swing and a miss, but Portugal manages to clear the ball.

66:40 - Corner kick for Portugal. The ball is played short to Simao, who sends it across the box to Pepe, who is 2 yards offside.

67:17 - Vlcek on for Matejovsky for the Czech Republic.

68:31 - Jankulovski sends a ball into the 6-yard box, but it's too close to Ricardo who makes the save.

69:30 - The Czechs get an excellent chance as the ball comes to the far post and is headed back across the goal. Unfortunately, Baros is too short and Ferreira makes the clearance.

69:58 - Petit is down on the pitch. It looks like he may taken a shot to the coin purse on Ferreira's clearance. He is stretchered off.

73:00 - Jan Koller on for Galasek for the Czech Republic. This removes a holding midfielder to add a second striker, so they are clearly still looking to push the pace.

74:00 - Portugal makes their first change, sending on Meira for Moutinho, adding a defensive midfielder.

75:30 - Polak fouls Deco at 20 yards, and Simao takes the free kick directly into the wall.

77:00 - Quickly down the other hand, Plasil plays the ball into Baros, who heads it wide. Sionko was behind Baros, in better position, but he doesn't get his chance.

78:30 - Portugal makes their second change, bringing on Almeida for Gomes. Gomes hands the captain's armband to Ronaldo, which is met by loud jeers from the crowd.

80:00 - Quaresma on for Simao for Portugal.

81:00 - Jankulovski looks at Quaresma, who falls to the ground as if he had been shot.

82:50 - Plasil pushes the ball up the right side of the pitch, and the ball is eventually delivered to Sionko, who forces a save over the bar by Ricardo. The resulting corner leads to nothing.

85:00 - Jarolim on for Plasil in the last substitute of the match. Plasil may be gassed, as he and Sionko have been the best players for the Czech Republic by far.

86:00 - Jarolim gets dumped, leading to a free kick. He is eventually disposessed by Pepe, so he fouls him. The AR is not impressed.

87:47 - Quaresma receives the ball in the box, but his shot is deflected by Jankulovski. The Greek AR is apparently blind, as he awards a goal kick.

88:30 - Free kick from Jankulovski from 35 yards comes too close to Ricardo, who punches it out.

89:46 - Nice run by Baros, who delivers the ball to Koller. He knocks the ball down and plays ti Sionko, who skies it over the net.

90:00 (+00:30) - GOAL! Portugal 3 - Czech Republic 1. A quick free kick by Portugal leads to a ball played through to Ronaldo, who dips his shoulder to draw Cech in and then delivers it to Quaresma for the goal.

90:00 (+03:00) - Full time. Portugal 3 - Czech Republic 1.

Okay kids, that's it for this match. Join me in 30 minutes for Switzerland v. Turkey.


ü75 said...

I like to power-cycle my own router every once in awhile, if you catch my drift.

Lingering Bursitis said...

Demure? She looks practically deceased!

ü75 said...

You're welcome.

The Fan's Attic said...

sionko looked good in the last match as well. one of the few czech's to play well.

Keith said...

Milan Baros is their striker. You won't see too many intelligent balls, as Baros cannot pick out a decent run to save his life.

The Fan's Attic said...

have to say the white portugal jerseys are much better than their darks...although the whiteout is a bit much. a little color on the shorts would be nice.

Lingering Bursitis said...


Lingering Bursitis said...

I hate Ronaldo

Lingering Bursitis said...

I want to punch Ronaldo

Lingering Bursitis said...

NY Kid, you're doing a fantastic job

Lingering Bursitis said...

Keep up the good work

The Fan's Attic said...

i'm having trouble deciding whether this is good match with quality defense or just a decent match with no real finishing quality.


Lingering Bursitis said...

Don't lose your self-esteem

Lingering Bursitis said...

Drink beer while you're blogging, it'll help

Lingering Bursitis said...

I think I've done my part for now. I will return though, with even less insight than the Foudmeister.

ü75 said...

Note: Thai hookers will go down even faster for two $2 bills. No, they are not good at math(s).

strong like bull smart like tractor said...

My only "insight" on the game so far - the right back for the Czechs (Grigera?) has been shit. Every attacking move the Czechs make seems to die when it gets to him out wide. Is he just that scared of Ronaldo?

ü75 said...

Every time I read Sionko in the report, I think I should be reading about a Cameroonian game.

The Fan's Attic said...

did anybody keep a running tally of how many times Ronaldo complained to the refs?

Spectator said...

Now that Ronaldo has scored, so much for there being a drop-off due to all the swirling transfer talk.

strong like bull smart like tractor said...

The Czechs could really use Rosicky in this game.

Nick said...

Tommy Smyth sucks. Right after a blatant dive by Ronaldo he decides to point out "He's taken a lot of abuse today". Shut up, Tommy

strong like bull smart like tractor said...

Oh and for the record as the resident Chelsea fan - Ashley Cole sucks. The last player with a hype-to-usefulness ratio as bad as Cashley was Brian Bosworth (although Freddy Adu is creeping up there)

Lingering Bursitis said...

Bosingwa is a shit defender. He never bothered to cover the middle when the Czechs were whipping crosses and free-kicks in at will during the 2nd half. He has good pace down the flank coming forward though.

Despite all their flair, I'm not convinced by this Portugal team. A more talented squad than CZE will fucking dismantle their back line.