Friday, May 15, 2009

Guest Post: Let's all laugh at Arsene, shall we?

Lifelong Chelsea fan (and Norwichomon legend) Lumberjack couldn't resist penning a few smug words about their crosstown rivals. No, of course he's not talking about Spurs. After all, few do.


Been a while since...

God Bless Arsene Wenger. He’s a man with an extraordinary eye for talent, a football visionary who brings joy to the beautiful game and a possessor of the gormlessness about reality that one so traditionally associates with his Gallic brethren.

Arsenal is fine, he says. The kids will get us there, Lord Wenger remonstrates. No need to break the bank, states All High and Mighty Arsene.

And the rest of us just giggle. Since the enormous glory of His Invincibles, the rest of the world has simply regularly Waterloo'd Arse’s Arse.


This season is the glorious pinnacle of the Wenger big tease. A firm 4th place in the Premiereship with a solid and stolid 68 points and a pending thumping at Old Trafford. This form goes delightfully, like a fine Bordeaux with a nice, stinky camembert, with Fourthenal’s wondrous 3rd place effort last season (83 points), their 4th place form in the 06/07 campaign (68 points) and another resounding 4th place finish in the 05/06 season (on 67 points). It’s a Spurs like effort in its waste, except that Spurs did get to put a piece of silverware into the cabinet last year.

Of course, King Wenger wasn’t satisfied with his 4th place laurels in just the Prem. He needed to show that his precocious group of talented children were capable of consistent football, thus they finished an effective 4th in the Carling, 4th in the FA Cup and completed a magnificent quadruple by cementing a 4th place finish in the Champions League.

Is Emperor Wenger disappointed in these fourth place finishes? Is he unhinged by his team’s numbing ability to finish exactly between 3rd and 5th?

Goodness gracious no, and the rest of us could not be more delighted.

Sally forth, Arsene.

12 comments:

The NY Kid said...

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

/didn't read post yet

The Fan's Attic said...

Four is the loneliest number.

The NY Kid said...

/read post

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Besides, I would rather have a Sauvignon Blanc with some nice Chevre

Mike Georger said...

What a post!

EbullientFatalist said...

B-b-b-b-b-but, we play attractive football . . . ATTRACTIVE FOOTBALL!!!



/whimpers

Sarah said...

Trophies? We don't need no stinking trophies!

The Fan's Attic said...

Emirates Cup!!!

The NY Kid said...

the Arsenal Ladies pulled off a double, thank you very much!

EbullientFatalist said...

There's a joke somewhere in that comment, NYK.

Bigus Dickus said...

From now on, you shall be known as 'Arsenal ladies'. Thanks for that.

Sarah said...

Ooh, harsh.

jjf3 said...

@EF: the Minnesota Vikings know not of what you speak...