Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Right A Bit....Down A Bit...GET IN!


Oops....Pay attention John Terry.

Ever wondered how to score a penno every time? John Terry sure has. Well, now we know! The research is done and a net banger should be possible EVERY single time you step up to that chalky circle and stare at the keeper. Never mind his tricks as he waves his arms around in a fruitless effort to stop your shot. You have read the research, you are gonna score for sure. Really you say? The perfect penno EVERY time? Tell me more Bigus!


A new university study says that penalty struck at 65 mph that arrives 0.5m inside post and 0.5m below the bar is the perfect penalty and will find the net every time. Wow, really? A shot that squeezes in the top corner will be a goal? NO WAY! The research also says to achieve a 65mph shot you need to take a 5 step run up at at 30 degree angle. Good to know.



Now if only players could hit those requirements everytime! But they can't...Can they?

Right I'm off to buy a lottery ticket, if I choose the right numbers, I will win. Get in!

-Bigus.

7 comments:

phil said...

This whole thing assumes, of course, that professional footballers understand things like "30-degree angle," or perhaps even "angle." Expecting that type of knowledge out of a clod like John Terry might be a bit beyond the pale.

Keith said...

It also helps to make sure your studs are dry before your runup, and to position your weight over the ball, so you don't, you know, fall when you strike it.

Also unadvisable- pausing before your last step, and looking to the spot where you're going to strike the ball.

/Take that, EBJT and the Portuguese Flop O'war

Goat said...

Back in the day when I was my team's designated penalty taker, I'd glance at the left side of the goal right before I started my run up and when I knew the goalie was looking at me. Then I'd put it in the upper right corner--they fell for it every time. Goalkeepers are stupid fuckers. Except for you, NYK.

The NY Kid said...

Stopping a PK is a mindgame. If I send a link to this post to every striker in my rec league, then all I have to do is decide left or right and dive towards the top corner. It's a 50-50 chance!

Last time I faced a PK, I went and stood right in front of the spot looking directly at the striker until the ref made me retreat to my line. His shot went high over the bar, and I never moved.

Mike Georger said...

So thats 245 kmph?

/the metric system is a tool of the devil!

Andrew said...

This study will in no way affect England's approach to future PKs.

jjf3 said...

So, basically, you're telling me that IF I can kick a non-aero-dynamic ball at 65 MPH into a space roughly the size of an oversized dinner-plate (say, a "charger"), its unstoppable? Um, no shit, Sherlock...

That's like telling Steve Trachsel that if he could just throw a 97-mph fastball into a 3-inch square on demand, he'd actually not suck...

no kidding?