Wednesday, January 14, 2009

He Already Knows What He Looks Like In White

Well the silly season sleuthing has taken it's first techie turn (why yes, I do also write headlines for 'Variety').

Explanation. There seems to be an unpaid army of people who cruise patent applications to guess the next gadget coming to the market (you'll see this with Apple especially). It feeds much of the rampant speculation in the tech world about who is doing what and probably costs employers millions in lost productivity (really, how did people waste time at work before the Web?).

Anyway, now it has come to sport. The Telegraph is reporting that Cristiano Ronaldo has copyrighted the term "CR9" in his native Portugal.

Why is this news?

Well, the nanceboy currently wears the number 7. So, why trademark a term with a number he doesn't wear? Because he won't be wearing it when he goes to Real Madrid. El numero siete currently belongs to Raul. So Ronaldo takes the number 9 (Number 9... Number 9... Number 9... Number 9) and cashes in on owning CR9. Somehow.

None of this is hindered by the daily rumors coming out of Spain that a secret deal has already been brokered for the World Player of the Year to move from United to Madrid after this season.

Any why not? What's left for him to do at United? He's, what, barely 23? He can go to Spain, return to home (sort of, at least it's Iberia), and if he returns Madrid to glory he'll be immortalized. Also, Spain is less physical than the EPL, so his body will hold up better longer. Oh, and the rumored £77M transfer fee with £210,000 per week in wages is probably also in the "Pro" column of the decision sheet.

Just a thought: You sure you want to trademark something that sounds so much like "Cryin'" in Ingles when your repuatation is already that of a diving pansy?

12 comments:

Adam said...

way to put a man on the post Chelsea. Its not like thats the 1st time thats happened to you this season.

Andrew said...

How about Hull City? Then again, it is Newcastle.

Sarah said...

Well that'll put a swift end to any sort of affection I have for Real Madrid. Well not the team exactly, but I do like some of the players.

Can't he fuck off to Italy? Or Russia?

Andrew said...

Fucking off to Russia worked well for Bonaparte. And that fella with the mustache and the snappy uniforms and the adoring crowds and the anti-semitism.

phil said...

I prefer that CR just fuck off entirely. I really don't care where.

Precious Roy said...

Thing is he is fucking phenomenal as a player (when he's not taking pratfalls). When he leaves United, I might actually be able to enjoy watching him play as I'll be far lest emotionally as I only kind of care about La Liga... although the Valencia v. Villareal match over the weekend was 10x better than the Chelsea v. United match and now I'm babbling.

phil said...

I tried to enjoy CR during th World Cup...and then he went and begged for a red ...on his own clubmate. I realized then and there, that no matter where he goes, he will be an immensely talented player, but also a completely insufferable little twat.

Precious Roy said...

Right, I'll just care less about his twatiness when he's in Spain. Also can't wait to see how Ray Hudson treats him the first time he steps on the pitch against the all-being and mankind's savior in Lionel Messi.

phil said...

Does this mean I'm not the only one who hears Mozart's "Agnus Dei" everytime I see Messi step on the pitch?

Precious Roy said...

He will absolve all our sins (at least according to Hudson... and he coached the Miami Fusion to the Supporters Shield, so how could I ever doubt him?).

jape said...

@Andrew - Cap'n Crunch was an anti-Semite? Who knew.

Andrew said...

@jape: yup, him. No seriously, I thought of Cap'n Crunch when I was writing it.