Wednesday, July 30, 2008

The Good, The Bad, The WTF

This, my friends, will be the day you remember forever. The day you look back and thank your holy stars that you alighted to this blog and found this page. The day that you will place your fateful bid on the most heinous collection of shirts that has ever hit the ebays. This is the day that changes your life.

In case you think this is nothing but hyperbole, I, and your future kids, implore you to look inside.

That's right, this auction gives you the right to own like six of the most horrible shirts ever, and one Real Madrid one, at one time. The best part? Even a fatty like me can fit into most of them. Yep, an all XL auction.

So, let's break it down. As mentioned, there is a Real Madrid shirt here. Nothing too fancy, just white with purple. Serviceable, if that's your thing.
Also serviceable is a green Liverpool shirt from when adidas put the big three stripes on the shoulder. Bonus points for the Candy sponsorship.

Then it gets really bad really fast.

The Arsenal green and yellow flying V shirt. It looks like an African print gone horribly wrong. Never has a red badge and sponsor had such a hard time standing out on a shirt.
What else is there that I spy? Why it's the bright yellow Tottenham shirt. This is the type of shirt that makes kids cry at Christmas, wondering why Santa was so mean to them.
Ooh, look, the Dutch '88 shirt! Except that it's not. It's a knock-off without any sort of manufacturer's markings. Also, the badge seems like an iron-on that's the wrong color. It's even worse than the '88 shirt.
Then there is a Scotland shirt which can best be described as a look better off forgotten. It's like a pattern that over the hill golfers would wear on a shirt to try to appear edgy and get the beer girls to notice them.
Next, there's an England abomination. Without resorting to a color thesaurus, I'd say there are about 5 different light blues on this shirt in no discernible pattern and no set shape. This is what Michelangelo's splatter sheet looked like in the Sistine Chapel.
Finally, an Ireland keeper jersey. Who the hell buys a keeper jersey for anything other than function? Well, Spike Lee did it, but he's not that far ahead of the fashion queue is he?

I'm spent, but before I go, I have to point out two more photos from this auction. To give more detail to the shirts, the seller put picture up of them showing two shirts at a time. Two of these pairing confused me.



The auction ends on Sunday. Get in while you can.


Bigus Dickus said...

That England shirt brings bad memories.

Kopper said...

3 bids so far. Top bid $10.50. Its almost worth bidding $15-20 just so you can burn a couple of those shirts (Real Madrid especially).

MoonshineMike said...

The liverpool shirt is not offensive enough to buy Lingering Bursitis.

The Fan's Attic said...

glad to see the guy's daily chores are getting done. [check background of first pic of two jerseys]