Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Bucket of Gold 1, Rainbow 0


DON'T LOOK BACK


The deed is done. Tottenham's de facto skipper is off to Anfield after six stellar years at the Lane. It is a bitter day for us Spurs types. Guys like Berbatov are always on their way out, but Robbie Keane had become a club fixture, someone I truly believed would finish up in North London... the testimonial, the whole business. Silly boy I am. The feelings are hard, but I don't wish Keano any gruesome injury or disease. Failure, yes, but nothing like a degenerative knee condition or late onset asthma. And certainly not Jermaine Pennant.

For more on why I'm not angry please follow the jump.


You know Robbie, if you wanted a Liverpool tracksuit so frickin’ badly, I’m sure Mr. Levy would’ve gone out and fetched you one from the Adidas outlet. But there was more to it than that, I'd guess. Boyhood dreams— those lazy afternoons in the potato fields, with nothing but a picture of Kenny Dalglish and tin of Vaseline— and the £80,000 per week. The cash must have played at least a bit role in this loathesome affair? Kind of like Chris Cooper in "Adaptation." And lest we forget The Champions League Football, oh how you aging stars love the “the promise of Champions League football.”

As a Spurs fan, and UF’s singular pillar of Yiddo pride (though drawing strength from BerbaBent), I’m not gonna dooooo, what you all thiiiink I’m gonna do, which is, you know… FLIP OUT! No, I’m being quite clear-eyed, open-minded, and level-fucking-headed about this turn of events. Keano is gone, along with his hundred goals and all the boxing man bullshit. It’d be a waste to dwell on the purely sentimental, ya know, my personal shit— our near simultaneous arrival at White Hart Lane (He came over from Leeds in the summer of 2002. I had been there in heart and mind since the summer before.)

I liked Keane then, and did until a couple weeks ago, for a pretty childish reason. He scored goals. Yes, Gooners, this is something that some of us neanderthals still enjoy. In fact, I enjoyed Keane’s time at Spurs entirely because he scored goals. That is the point of the game after all. We all like a nice kick-around and some nifty footwork and passing, but in the end it’s about the goals. Ronaldo (fat and soon-to-be-fat), Beckham, Romario, Maradona, Pele, Chinaglia (forgive me), Best— all players with wide-ranging, breathtaking skill, but sharing a common thread. They put the ball in the net. This makes fans happy. Simple. Sentimental.

Keane’s a goal-poacher, as the saying goes, unfit to lick clean the boots of those guys listed above, but he can play a bit too. No wing force, as some Redheads would like to believe, but he’s got guile and some pace, enough at least to run Khalid Boularouz out of England. I expect he’ll be 60 percent the player Liverpool is expecting unless they get some support out wide. Robbie will be dreaming of Aaron Lennon after a couple months of Jermaine Pennant.

For the Juande and the Lads up the Lane, this is no shock and should not be treated as such. If Berbatov slithers off as expected, Spurs will be minus a vicious strike-force, but plus a fair sum of sterling. How that money gets spent will be the final chapter in this frustrating, but still unfinished course of events. The nattering nabobs on this blog promise me the cash will be splayed about with abandon. Panic spending (Pavlyuchenko!) More 5’7” wingers! It concerns me, no doubt. This team needs two strikers (to go with Bent, who will have his chance) another, bigger midfield player (Bentley, which should happen), and some defensive cover.

So as I told Lingering last night, with only the slightest bit of hyperbole, the Mona Lisa wasn’t shit until Da Vinci got around to those eyes and that smile. Hopefully Juande and Levy have some colors left on the board.

And a final note to you Scouser punks, as The Wolf might say: best not start sucking each other’s dicks quite yet, gentleman. There’s only ooooone Jermaine Pennant— and after that, not much else.

16 comments:

Lingering Bursitis said...

this needs more Jermaine Pennant jokes to temper my schadenfreude

Dimitar Bent said...

Dos Santos, Modric, Jenas (T Hudd) Bentley and Lennon is a nice midfield. With Hutton and Bale bombing down the wings while The King of White Hart Lane and Woody watch the back things arent that bad. D Bent will get his chance. Judging by last night he will take them. Pray we pip Liverpool for 4th on the last day of the season. Then we can sing to Keano one more time.

The Likely Lad said...

Name another "winger" on that roster and I'll mock him too. It's going to be awful busy in the middle of that pitch.

The Likely Lad said...

that last line made me sing Dimi Bent...

Dimitar Bent said...

Dos Santos is a true left footed player and with Bentley or Lennon playing wide right we will have the width Ramos prefers. It could be very exciting footy with this formation and a tighter back 4. Dont be glum Likely. Trust in Juande.

Bigus Dickus said...

Good stuff matey. I believe ,however, that he will be 100% of what they expected.

Mike Georger said...

rafa purchased two attacking fullbacks this summer, with the formation he has been playing, the 'width' he was looking for was always going to be coming from the fullbacks pushing up. and now that he has genuine crossing ability out wide i think they will be fine. the reason i want pennant out is because he cannot score worth shit, when they are playing that many people forward you need to be able to score as well as pass.

Mike Georger said...

also, i know spurs have made some very very impressive offensive signings, and who knows how good that keeper is, but they DID let in the fifth most goals in the league last year, second most of the teams that stayed up.

shit arsenal only let in 31 and have senderos

imbroke247 said...

Is Dos Santos going to be a starter?

Lingering Bursitis said...

Likely: you and "Dimitar Bent" are cute. The rapport you two have is staggering, not to mention the shared idiocy.

Thanks for buying Bentley, as it means Blackburn will want Jermaine Pennant to replace him, and then we'll have enough money to go and buy someone worth having.

BerbaBent said...

Lingering,

You should be chuffed at the Keane acquisition. Being smug about your "Big" club supremacy does not endear you to the rest of us. We are in sound financial position and once Berbatov is gone you are talking about 48 million pounds on a combined 17.5 million pound investment btwn he and Keano. We are all gutted about the loss of Keane but we cannot mortgage our future on buying and buying to catch up. Its not that easy. Look at Leeds. We argue about the selling of Carrick, Keane, berbatov etc as either necessary or a sign of no ambition. Its not as cut and dry as that. We only have a capacity of 34k so even with our big fanbase you can only sell so many kits etc. Sometimes you need to sell 2 stars so you can bring in 3-4 quality players.

sven said...

"We argue about the selling of Carrick, Keane, berbatov etc as either necessary or a sign of no ambition."

Or, it could be your squad simply continues to underachieve and isn't as good as you think it is.(even before selling -- last season, for instance)

BerbaBent said...

Sven

I disagree with that. We finished 5th 2 yrs in a row and won a CUp last year. That is pretty good as realistically with our wage structure and capacity etc we want to be "The best of the rest" We are still not in a position to compete with the Top 4 on a consisten basis

Lingering Bursitis said...

then you fired the manager who got you those 5th place finishes because he had a rough 2 months at the beginning of the season!

Also, I'm not being smug, I'm being realistic. We bought Keane, which I'm happy about. Very happy.

I did chuckle at the fact that Levy reported us to the FA for impropriety when the manner in which he heisted Ramos from his Spanish perch was equally disreputable.

BerbaBent said...

I believe the Ramos tap up was not on par with your unsettling of Keano. End of.

Lingering Bursitis said...

we can agree to disagree there. Your selective memory is understood