Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Euro 2008 Liveblog: Germany v. Turkey

Soccer is a game for 22 people that run around, play the ball, and one referee who makes a slew of mistakes, and in the end Germany always wins. - Gary Lineker

That's it, I surrender. There is no way my new-favorite team (Euros only) comes back from this one. Word is that Turkey will have about 14 available players for this one, with one of the subs being the third-choice keeper. There is absolutely no way they play their way past the Germans, is there?

It's still 11-on-11 on the pitch, no matter what kind of superiority in numbers the German bench has. There is an outside chance, however slight, that Turkey can do this. It is up to me today, UF's least-disciplined liveblogger, to bring this one to you today. Join me as I dissect what will surely be a 5-0 German win

Germany (4-5-1): Lehmann; Friedrich, Mertesacker, Lahm, Rolfes, Metzelder; Schweinsteiger, Ballack, Hitzlsperger, Podolski; Klose. Screw you, ESPN
Turkey (4-5-1): Rustu, Balta, Gokhan Zan, Sabri, Boral; Topal, Aurelio, Altintop, Kazim, Akman; Senturk.

So, Podolski starts up top, and presumably Gomez is banished to the Black Forest. While you are waiting for the match to start, go check out some Germany highlights in Lego form Here and Here.

note: The Likely Lad, who had hoped to live blog this game from a Turkish restaurant, will still be at said restaurant. He'll be sending us updates on his fancy phone, some of which we will pass on to you.

note mark II: For those who need your weekly Good, Bad, WTF fix, that will be going up at 6.00. Just hold out, it's worth it.

-10 .00 ESPN is on. Foudy is foudying it up. Schweinsteiger is Art Alexakis, to continue with my "Looks like a guy who got played on MTV in the '90s" analogies.

-7.00 It looks like The Likely Lad is not one you should rob. He just confessed to living in NYC without a Blackberry.

-4.00 Get ready for the anthems. Will Kazim Kazim sing?

-3.00 I'll admit, I'm openly rooting for a Lehmann mistake or two to send Turkey through. Can they naturalize David Healy for this match?

That sucks, Chad. But welcome anyway. I'll try to be faster than ESPN 360.

-1.00 Uh oh, Lehmann looks short in this lineup. You can't teach height, as we found out from Koller in my last liveblog.

Rustu!, Ballack! Speak English, fuckers!

0.00 Kick Off! Let's go! Turkey actually have 7 subs on the bench. We'll see if more than two get off of it.

2.00 The field in Basel still doesn't look any better. Germany content to possess early and make Turkey run.

3.00 I wonder if Loew will have significant pit stains like last game in the stands. And does he have all of his shirts hemmed like that, or what?

5.00 I wouldn't want to run into Terim at a shady NYC Turkish restaurant, I'll tell you that.

6.00 Turkey get a couple of crosses in, but come to nothing.

7.00 Kazim gets a shot off, right at Lehmann. Turkey are pushing forward when they get the ball. Probably trying to steal an early goal and then sit back.

Lehmann forced into another save when Lahm blows it.

9.00 TLL update:
Been here 5 minutes and have already gotten in trouble. Started a
tab. with my credit card. with my name... my last name which means
WAR in German. They tried to seat me behind the TV . Only got out by
ordering $14 doner entree

11.00 Germany are definitely sitting back early and not trying to push and pull a depleted Turk squad. Odd.

12.00 Another Turkish foray up front. They'll be dead by 60 minutes at this pace.

13.00 Dear Germany, playing balls in the air to a lone, unsupported striker 40 yards out won't win you anything.

And Kazim off the crossbar! Follow-up shot goes a yard wide for a corner. This team is going all out, as alluded to in the comment section. Corner goes for nothing.

15.00 Turkey are getting in behind the German defense. Looks good, so far for the Turks.

16.00 Klose writhes in pain after attempted tackle misses him. Free kick straight to Rustu.

17.00 Schweinie dives, no call. Germany still on attack. Cleared out for corner.

18.00 Ballack could not push his way to the corner, cleared by Rustu.

19.00 As I clarified up top, both teams are running a 4-5-1. We hate the 4-5-1 at UF.

20.00 TLL is predicting a riot if Turkey do win.

22.00 Goal! Turkey go on top after a cross from the right is directed off the crossbar. The rebound falls to Boral who puts it through Lehmann's legs 1-0 Turkey

23.00 That's Boral's first international goal.

24.00 Well, they have their goal. Do Turkey sit back, or do they attack some more? Germany look disinterested in playing at all.

25.00 Aurelio does not get enough of his head on a corner to bother the Germans. The game is still in the German defensive third for the most part.

26.00 Goal! Scheinie latches onto a Rolled Podolski cross from the right. Touches it into the upper back corner 1-1

27.00 Totally against the run of play there. Can't fault the soft finish. It was very nice. Rustu in no position to do anything.

28.00 Two rather old keepers here. Will that be a factor in the end? Neither looked good on the goals, but then keepers rarely look good when giving up goals.

29.00 Easy header collected by Jens. Another close call on the other end. Corner for Germany.

31.00 TLL in the middle of a chaotic scene. Someone bought him a beer after the first goal. We'll see if he is still alive after the equalizer.

31.00 There it was, almost the quintessential Jens gaffe. He went out for a free kick that almost floated over his head into the goal. Corner kick cleared by Germany for another corner. Turks maintain possession.

33.00 TLL, still alive, informs us that the Turks hate Tommy Smyth, too.

34.00 Podolski gets free on the right, gets into the box, and blows it over the bar by two feet.

35.00 Jens has had to make 5 saves so far. Should've had 6.

36.00 Hey! I can watch MLS on this very same channel! At least the NBA is over.

38.00 Free kick Turkey right outside the box. Lahm tried to kick Kazim in the face. He missed, but still. Wall is set. Time being wasted. Kick taken as a near post shot, goes to the middle of the goal, Jens punch save.

39.00 Blood on Rolfes after he headed Akman in the back of the head. Both are off for treatment and stitches.

41.00 Game has opened up 10-on-10. Both sides push for shots. Turkey almost through on goal. Serioglu just over from 22.

42.00 Turkey look to have tired a bit.

44.00 Frings may have to come on for Rolfes. They haven't stopped his bleeding yet.

And Rolfes is back on, never mind.

45.00 +1 Tweet Tweet I am surprised by the lack of German passion. They are not really robots, are they? Also surprising--this rather undisciplined Turk squad have no first-half cards.

Back after the break, but before I go another TLL update:
Overheard of guy talking about Turkish football, "There is no pride in waiting, only in winning." That guy did not watch the first half of the Czech-Turk game, then.

TLL: 25 man smoke break at the restaurant.
Foudy: "Turkey is playing like they have nothing to lose" Both teams can go home here sweetie. It's not like Germany can make the final after a loss.

45.01 Here we go. Alright, I'm sick of coffee and too wired. Maybe Germany's play can bring me back down.

Frings on for Rolfes.

46.00 Podolski rampaging down the right, and crosses 20 yards past anyone.

47.00 Why did Demirel get a two-game ban and Schweinie only get one, anyway?

49.00 Lahm gets lucky not to get a yellow as he pulls back on a Turkish player who was past him.

50.00 TLL is still alive. He's at a table with a guy who speaks no English. They seem to agree that Lehmann is piss, though.

51.00 Lahm bundled over in the box. It looked bad, but no penalty.

52.00 RK5 = +1

52.00 Lahm definitely fouled. Probably outside the box, though. Ah, the benefits of replay to second-guess the ref.

52.00 TFA- thanks for the answer

53.00 Yellow Card Senturk for foul on Frings (?) I didn't see it, I was too busy laughing at RK5, still.

55.00 Germany is getting into the attack in the second half. Turkey may have done all they can do. Also, Turkey look to have gone to a 4-4-2.

Hitzlsperger over from 25.

56.00 Metzeleder down. Not touched on the sliding tackle. Still has a kick-ass playoff beard.

57.00 Altintop takes down Ballack dead center 28 yards out.

57.00 Ballack into the bottom of the wall. Black out!

58.00 This is in no way going to help my ESPN argument. Georger, you win!

59.00 I'll steal from soccernet if I can.

60.00 Tech problems in Switzerland (lightning), other networks have the same problem.

60?.00 Altintop over from distance on a free kick.

Okay, it seems to be affecting the Beeb as well. No picture making it out of the country, I'm afraid. Turkey had another off-target shot from 20 yards.

ESPN sez radio guy sez Turkey is toying with Germany. AND WE'RE BACK

66.00 And nothing of note.

67.00 Lahm easily beaten by Serioglu, but his cross goes to no one.

68.00 Sixth Turkish corner, only two for the Germans. Headed from the near post to the top of the box. Nada here, I'm afraid.

69.00 Are we really going to extra time again? Neither team incisive over the last seven or so minutes. Kazim appeals for foul, doesn't get it.

70.00 Lahm looks to be the weak spot for Germany's defense. Look for Turk attacks exclusively down the right in the last 20 minutes.

72.00 Jens content to waste time with free kick from offside call.

72.00 Of course, Turkey attack from the left and get a good look, but right at Jens. Hitzlsperger just wide from 30 or so the other way.

73.00 Yes, Tuncay's absence is felt by us all, I think.

75.00 *yawn*

76.00 Did they switch these teams for Italy-Spain in the blackout?

77.00 Bye Bye feed. Just as well.

TLL: First in-house cigarette is lit. the only thing my pal here says when
Turkey has the ball is, "In to Semih." Also the only englis hes
spoken... broken glass!! getting edgy in here. but im 3 rakis in,
feeling brave.

Germany miss from in close. Did Gomez get in?

78.00 Goal Klose. It was awesome. I wish you could have seen it.

At least ESPN has the fan zones to show.

Apparently Rustu blew it, maybe even Cech-style, on a cross.

Soccernet guy says he has feed again. Why don't we have ours?

Erding on for Akman.

Correction--BBC has pictures. Fuckers.


Turkey seem to be on a steady attack, but nothing in the net yet. Of course, stoppage time is still a little but away.

Both keepers now at fault. Lehmann beaten softly near post. Rustu way misjudged a cross and had the ball headed in front of him.

88.00 It's Turkey time now, bitches. 2 minutes from injury time.

89.00 Senturk tries a ridiculous shot one minute before he should have.

90.00 Goal Lahm goes near post. There's still time!

Fed in by Hizlsperger. No picture.

Rustu sucks balls. Five German shots on goal, three goals.

Time must be up by now. Two injury minutes on the clock.

Game over. Fuck the swiss TV people. Turkey had a free kick from 30 yards out at the end, but Metin put it over.

3-2 Germany Final
Turkey had 22 shots (15 on goal); Germany 9 (5)
Possession 63%-37%
Finally, the top quote I put up there has a bunch of resonance, doesn't it?


Keith said...

It couldn't hurt Turkey to just try throwing everything they can at the net; in other words, taking the approach the US should take always.

Also, posted in the "Celebration" thread, but worth mentioning in the liveblog- +1 to Soccernet for this gem in the gamecast commentary:

Welcome to the coal face ladies and gentlemen; as New Zealand's fourth most popular folk combo like to say: 'It's business time.'

The Likely Lad said...

alright friends, i'm headed off into dangerous territory-- Sahara, the Turkish restaurant across the street from my apartment.

i'll be checking in from time to time via text message or email.

ü75 said...

I saw that and laughed. An extra chuckle came from thinking exactly what business time that Jemaine was talking about.

Keith said...

u75: two minutes of extra time is better than one minute of extra time

The NY Kid said...

Now everyone knows exactly where The Likely Lad lives, and that he won't be there. Watch out for Scousers!

Andrew said...

Will anyone besides me be supporting the Teutons?

Deutschland uber alles - especially Turkey.

This game requires my full undivided attention. See you at the break.

ü75 said...

Yes keith, especially when Turkey are playing.

Chad said...

Andrew: I am supporting Germany. Mainly because a bet means I have money and dignity riding on a Germany win.

Irony: I have spent the last six months arguing that I would be better off working a Monday thru Frday schedule. I was always denied.

I made plans to watch the Semi games at a German restaurant here in Chicago.

On Saturday, I was told "take Sunday off, you're working M-F now."

Instead of eating sausage and drinking and watching the game, I am following it from my desk via this liveblog.

chipped red nail polish said...

My feed is down, the meeting room with the TV is booked until four (which, I mean, this is Turkey, I probably won't need it until then...) so I'm relying on y'all for the English version of the Italian? Spanish? bootleg feed I found.

Chad said...

u75: Not hard to do, but I appreciate the effort. Seriously, at least through these blogs I'm able to follow the game. And learn and/or get a laugh from the comments. A huge thanks to you and everyone else for doing them.

Goat said...

Andrew--I'm torn. I have German roots but can't help but root for the underdog. I guess that's also why I tend to root against the US basketball team.

Ian said...

Nice to see the Turks know their anthem by heart. Attaturk would approve.

Ian said...

What did ballack say?

The Fan's Attic said...

Ballack: "Ich fresse ihre Kinder."

Marshall Planner here.

Herr On My Ballacks would have been a great name for my fantasy team.

strong like bull smart like tractor said...

I was thinking of Arshavin my Ballacks for my next fantasy team name, actually...

Chad said...

Come on Germany, attack!

Where's the blitzkrieg mentality?

Keith said...

Ah, the 4-5-1, or the dreaded "v. Man United" for the number of bottomfeeding that trot out that formation to try and bog down Man U and eke out a draw.

chipped red nail polish said...

Fuck me!

The NY Kid said...

Oh, Jens.

Lingering Bursitis said...



Ian said...

Awesome slo mo missed high fives there

The Fan's Attic said...

yeah for my fantasy team...yeah for Deutschland.

Lingering Bursitis said...

this game is actually living up to the billing so far

i am stunned

strong like bull smart like tractor said...

I'm thinking that we've already seen the high-water mark for the Turks. Hope I'm wrong, as this has been a pretty exciting match so far...

Lingering Bursitis said...

the 4-5-1 needs to take a cynanide pill and capitulate. matches are ruined with such clogged midfields

Lingering Bursitis said...

also, kudos to TLL for making the effort in going somewhere Turkish to watch the game.

I am sure I'm not alone in saying that I'm glad he didn't choose a bathhouse for his liveblog, else they might well be handing him something else entirely

Chad said...

Ah, Tommy Smyth.

When even the German and Turkish fans agree to hate you, you can no longer avoid acknowledging you have problems.

Keith said...

LB, wasn't the "v. Man U" the favored formation of Liverfourth last season?

chipped red nail polish said...

Things Turkey can't currently afford: bleeding head wounds.

Mike Georger said...

nah keith that was more of a 4-2-3-1 or 4-4-1-1

Lingering Bursitis said...

YEAH KEITH, it was different.

the 4-5-1 needs to die in a fire

Keith said...

5 midfielders, right? The 2 defensive ones and the 3 attacking ones? That makes five, right?

Lingering Bursitis said...


Gerrard was the libero and the other two were attacking wingers, might as well have been called strikers.

Mike Georger said...

three attacking mids is in no way the same as stuffing five in the middle. and considering two of the three were really strikers

plus no team is trying to stiffle anyone when they are playing riise, lets get real here

Keith said...

LB, I know Ryan Babel and Riise can't be bothered to track back, but they're still kind of midfielders

Ian said...

Ehhh. I think all of the EPL big four play some version of the 4-5-1 in Europe.

Spectator said...

Can't Stop the Bleeding!! ZOING!

strong like bull smart like tractor said...

Just wondering, where was this Turkish attacking spirit in the Croatia game? There's already been more excitement in this match than in the first 115 minutes of that one...

Mike Georger said...

would you say what liverpool play is the same as what italy play? no.

Goat said...

I can't believe it's taken this long to descend into attacks on/defenses of Liverpool.

Mike Georger said...

goat i cant watch the game so ive gotta stick to my bread and butter

Spectator said...

According to to Germany is playing 4-2-3-1 and Turkey is playing 4-1-4-1... At least those sound way more exotic than boring ole 4-5-1.

Mike Georger said...

they should play 1-11

/eric 'douchenozzle' cantona

Mike Georger said...

and by 11 i mean 10


Goat said...

My bread and butter is double entendres whenever there's a post featuring an attractive woman.

ü75 said...

While nether team is playing 5 across, I still say 5 in midfield is 5 in midfield. Therefore, these are 4-5-1s

Lingering Bursitis said...

all of you, please stop. let's get to ESPN's great lead-in from the commercial break, from America's beloved Rece Davis:

"Thanksgiving for Turkey right now, as it's 1-1 at half-time"


ü75 said...

Also, is anyone is running firefox, i greatly recommend the "refresh every" add on. Saves on the F5 pushing.

Mike Georger said...

if turkey make this four wins in a row, i guarantee a 'four on the turkey trot' headline somewhere

Lingering Bursitis said...

ps. keith... Liverpool is infallible. I will defend to the death

Keith said...

My bread and butter is arguing with supporters that aren't natural rivals of mine, because my natural rival keeps getting relegated.

Goat said...

Turkey gobbled up Germany's defense in the first half

Lingering Bursitis said...

+1 goat

Goat said...

Next Rece Davis segue:
"And speaking of Turkey, where is OJ Mayo going in the NBA draft?"

ü75 said...

my natural rival--a liger. What's yours?

Lingering Bursitis said...

i believe the Turkey/Swiss jokes have already been used, which is a real fucking shame.

Does turkey taste good with russian dressing?

/thinking ahead to the most unlikely final possible

Chad said...

And another +1 to Goat.

Have I mentioned how happy I am that the NBA finals are finally over?

The Fan's Attic said...

You guys are idiots. 4-5-1, 4-4-2, 3-5-2, 4-4-1-1, 4-2-3-1, whatever...the numbers don't really matter, it's the type of play you are going after.

offensive minded or lay back and counter or just plain put 11 in the box.

Keith said...

I wouldn't expect any less, LB and Mike. Just keep your hands off our damn captain (or hand over 20 mill. . whichever)

Lingering Bursitis said...

Italy love the 8-1-1 formation

/hates catenaccio

also, more TLL updates please! Is he dead yet? Has he been turned into tonight's doner kebab special?

Lingering Bursitis said...

Demirel got two games because they clearly don't want Turkey to succeed.

Plus, Bastian is more family-friendly.

RK5 said...

LB, does infallible mean "fourth" in some other language? :P

Lingering Bursitis said...


Keith said...

+1 RK5

The Fan's Attic said...

demeril got two games because he didn't leave the pitch...i think he stayed in the bench area.

Goat said...

Should that have been a penalty?

Andrew said...

oh man was that in the box?!?!?!

Lingering Bursitis said...

u75... stop encouraging him. You'll only make me sadder :(

MoonshineMike said...

Goat, Merkel has already filed a complaint with the EU in Brussels.

Lingering Bursitis said...

don't think it was in the box... but very close, Turkey need to wake up a little bit, these Germans are working on their blitzkrieg

Mike Georger said...

this turkish restaurant thing makes me wish i lived in a city. sure theres an austrian bistro in state college, but im pretty sure its just a front for chinese spies.

Goat said...

Here's a picture of Merkel filing that complaint:

She's obviously using her feminine wiles to influence the judges.

Mike Georger said...

black out as in the feed went dead? wtf!

Lingering Bursitis said...

Georger: as a PSU alum, I remember that place fondly. I also remember never eating there because I was camping at Zeno's and chose not to really eat

Goat said...

It seems the feed must be out everywhere. From GameCast:

"Well, this is incredible. We've no pictures from the game, so I'll have to rely on radio commentary for updates! Not our fault people, but I bet there's a few tecchy lads in Switzerland with their pants on fire right now."

Lingering Bursitis said...


RK5 said...

Yeah, those Swiss guys must feel like Rafa Benitez. Desperately struggling for answers. Heyo!

Keith said...

They were rotating their output lines throughout the game. That was the Voronin line used during the last six minutes

chipped red nail polish said...

I can't deny it. I love Lam's pluck.

But I miss Tuncay's.

MoonshineMike said...

goat, with that outfit, her complaints will not fall upon deaf ears.

All I know, if Clinton was president, he'd be tapping those. Viva Bill!

chipped red nail polish said...

Lahm. Frick.

ü75 said...

Sarah Chalke?

Goat said...

Moonshine--I'm sure he is anyway.

MoonshineMike said...

feed loss again? this is like some eastern european state run television or something.

Keith said...

That was the Kuyt-put

/here all week

The Fan's Attic said...

isn't this when the Turks make the comeback?

oh, and, i smell conspiracy...Germany scores whilst nobody can see?

chipped red nail polish said...

I saw her on the street once, but alas, no. She's pretty.

MoonshineMike said...

I smell a total German scam.

The Fan's Attic said...

holy fuckballs...turkey on the comeback trail.

The Fan's Attic said...

gobble, gobble.

Goat said...

Turkey are spared from the chopping block.

chipped red nail polish said...

I take it back. The Lahm the.

The Fan's Attic said...

from the pot into frying pan.

MoonshineMike said...

wait, did i see an 89th minute goal from germany!?! befoe the feed lost me.

Goat said...

If he hasn't already, TLL better get out of there toute de suite.

The Fan's Attic said...

Must be Christmas time, because Turkey was just bested by a Schwein.

The Fan's Attic said...

From TLL after the 2nd Turkish goal that needs to be posted:

Oh mygod!!! ahhhh!! (2 men just kissed me.)

MoonshineMike said...

The Turks got Rueben'd!

Goat said...

Well played, TFA.

Ian said...

So the Germans win it under the cover of darkness. Nacht und Nebel indeed.

RK5 said...

Lahm is crap all game, and gets out of jail in the 90+'? That sucks for Turkey, hardcore. They, of course, got the Mannschafft.

The Fan's Attic said...

Also from TLL after the whistle:


That fucker better get out of there before his "broken glass" friend comes out of shock.

The Fan's Attic said...

Turkey was basted by the Mannschaft.

Goat said...

RK5--I bet a lot of German women are getting the Mannschaft tonight after that game.

chipped red nail polish said...

So, here's to an exciting 3rd place match?

RK5 said...

Goat - I just read that a massive epidemic of headaches is sweeping across Germany as we speak.

Goat said...

They must have caught it from my wife.

The Likely Lad said...

I'm home friends. Thank you for your real and mock concern. Wow. That was heartbreaking... and weird. Not the Turks-- they were just like your standard insane fans. just a little more with the hand gestures. Italian like that, except they play the most exciting football EVER. I lurve them. I feel sorry for having cursed them with my fandom for 90 minutes.

for the record, i was kissed on the top of the head after semih tied it, and didnt mind it one bit.

the sporadic losses of the feed were what made it all so weird. and the end. brutal. the only thing worse than a riot is total stillness. i watched the pulse rate slip and slip... and stop.

Andrew said...

jesus! I'm tanked right now! holy shit, my fingernails are no more.


Chad said...

Wow. Time to start calling friends with Tivo so I can try to watch this tonight.

Mike Georger said...

is there a third place game?

ü75 said...

CRNP-no third place match at the Euros anymore.

Keith said...

King Kaufman also pwned! ESPN on salon:

"Each time the picture went out -- the last was moments after Germany's Philip Lamm scored the game-winner in the 90th minute -- game announcers Derek Rae and Andy Gray quickly threw the broadcast back to the studio, where Rece Davis, Julie Foudy and Tommy Smyth tap-danced until the feed was restored.

Davis was quick to point out that the problem was lightning strikes in Switzerland, where the match was being played, and that broadcasters all over the world had lost the feed.

In other words: Don't blame ESPN! This isn't our fault!

Fair enough. But why didn't Rae and Gray stay on the air and describe the action, radio style? The answer was obvious if you were paying close attention when the video went black: The ambient sound went out too, though Rae and Gray could still be heard. They were sitting in a studio in Connecticut.

Davis should have made that clear. He should have pointed out that ESPN had no way to convey the action because it had chosen to keep its announcers stateside rather than have them at the events. Instead, the four-letter left viewers wondering why the capable Rae and Gray couldn't have continued doing play-by-play and color as two goals were scored, one by each side. "

chipped red nail polish said...

No 3rd place game? My bad.

Thanks for the heads up, though!

jjf3 said...

the game is being reshown on ESPN Classic in about 25 minutes with the parts that the world didn't get to see originally.

Sorry I'm late with this, but just found out a few minutes ago...