EPL Tap-Ins

Liverpool make their grand run at greatness, signing what will be their most expensive defender in club history. And it's someone we've never heard of. As Rafa sings for his job, Martin Skrtel, the 23-year-old Slovakian defender, is being shipped in from Zenit St. Petersburg for 6 million pounds.

Good luck with that. We can kiss Hyypia goodbye [and rightly so], the latest in a long line of past-it defenders we've passive-aggressively put out to pasture. [Paging Stephane Henchoz, paging Stephane Henchoz...]

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Robbie Savage is leaving Blackburn for Derby. The annoying midfielder with annoying, flowing blond locks has only started 10 games for Rovers this season, and his irritating style of play will fit in well with the Rams.

Paul Jewell summed it up best when speaking on his new signing:

"I hated Robbie Savage when he played against me. He is one of those characters you despise when he is playing for the opposition but you love when he is on your team."

Couldn't have said it better myself.

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Jermaine Defoe has been given permission to leave Spurs, which is not something he wanted to do in the first place.

"He called me into his office and told me. I thought it was a joke. I thought he was going to say I would be starting against Arsenal in the Carling Cup."

Candid Camera was not present for this conversation.

Thanks to the goal-bagging of Berbatov and Keane's ability to win penalties [but not score them], Defoe is the odd one out up front, and Ramos is alright with letting him go. Aston Villa will surely make a run, and expect all the big clubs to offer 2 million pounds more than Defoe's worth in their bids to retool before the stretch run.

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Newcastle's signed a 17-year-old defender from lower-league Swindon Town. Big Sam is surely safe!

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Continuing the trend of signing players we've never heard of, Hatchet Harry is wheeling and dealing again, bringing a young Swiss striker, Danijel Subotic, in from Basle. It's a three-and-a-half year deal, which Harry's looking forward to:

"He was recommended to us so we brought him over for a few days' training and he did well. We've taken a gamble on him and hopefully he's one for the future."

Why am I not surprised at his approach?

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Remember Laurent Robert? Yeah, neither do I really, although he did manage to piss off Graeme Souness and Bobby Robson during his time at Newcastle, which is an extremely difficult task. Well, he's back to the EPL, set to sign a deal with Derby through the end of the season. Said Jewell:

"I'm convinced we'll get the best out of him here and if we do, we'll have quite a player on our hands."

Yeah. Because Derby is where players bring their best.

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Drogba's at it again. He echoed his desire to leave Chelsea in the summer, mainly because the new manager doesn't massage his gargantuan ego like Mourinho did.

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Finally, Chelsea's bid for Anelka has been reported at 11 million pounds, the one that Bolton promptly turned yesterday, and one that brought the boo-boys back out of the woodwork.

Are Chelsea trying to buy the league by throwing all this money around? Honestly, who cares? It is a successful gambit? [See: New York Yankees, 2000-present]

Joe Cole has an opinion, that's for sure:

“It riles me when people talk about Chelsea buying the league. I’ve never seen a pound note scoring a goal and I’ve never been at a club with as good an atmosphere."

Yeah, and I've never seen 30 million pound notes joined together and covered in a Chelsea uniform score so few goals, either.