Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Coach, you've been Hansen'ed


Here, have a seat...."


Since the Howard University Men's Soccer season wound down to an end in November on the back of 5 straight losses, their head coach Joseph Okoh has been hard at work. What's he been up to? Strategizing for the upcoming season? Working on a plan to bounce back from a 3-8-5 record?

Nope, he's been on the internet.

From the NBC affiliate:

"The Louisa County Sheriff's Office said Joseph E. Okoh, 40, allegedly traveled about 90 miles from his home in Arlington for the purpose of engaging in sexual activity with a person who he thought was a 13-year-old girl. The person was actually an undercover agent."
D'oh. Why does this keep happening? Will the wave of delusional, lonely, middle-aged men ever grow suspicious of this internet thing? Hasn't every man over the age of 25 with an IQ in the triple digits figured out that they are not who they say they are on the Internet? Howard University has suspended Okoh pending completion of the investigation, so the soccer team becomes the real victim of all this [sarcasm], lost in the scandal without a mentor.

Okoh is/was in his first year as soccer coach of Howard University, a small predominately black college in the District of Columbia. Before that he was coaching at Division II Shepherd College in bucolic Shepherdstown, WV, where he was their all-time winningest coach, posting a 38-19-3 record.

So what will the team do now? They could always look to Okoh's son, Michel, who is currently on the team. There's the other fun part of this story. Okoh brought his son onto the team before the 2007 season, his first at Howard, and in addition to trying to implement his "Total Football" philosophy to the team, he's now got to try and explain to his son that he's a pedophile. Perhaps "Total Football" is his euphemism for "proper ball control?"

Okoh's being held without bond until a hearing on Friday. No word on what video tapes the team will be watching during the offseason.

All I know is that on the Internet, no one knows I'm really a dog.

4 comments:

badly drawn boykins said...

See, this is why I insist on having *them* do the traveling. Plus, I don't have a car.

Wait, what?

E-town Hooligan said...

He learned this while coaching at Shep. They happen to be a rival of our hometown team. Surely I've screamed such insults at this gaffer in the past ... but ad no idea they would have come true. Or did I??? What a wanker. Literally.

MoonshineMike said...

You sound like someone I know Boykins. Always make them drive. and buy the liquor.

The Throwback Kid said...

I go to Howard, and it's been crazy on campus for the past few days. There's been TV reporters all over campus. And this happened right before our ESPNU game on Monday. Ahh well...at least everyone can see our athletic dept. for the sham that it is...