Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Colaship Review/Preview: Squeaky Bum Time.

My mate and Sangoma witch doctor 'Hector Um-bongo' has kindly put a hex on Barnsley. Nice one Hector.

It's been a while since I've done a Colaship review, and it's not because I'm a lazy fecker. I just couldn't bring myself to do so until now. The nightmare season my canaries have endured is nearing it's end and the worst possible scenario is staring at us from above. One game left and survival is not in our hands. There is also a battle at the top for the final automatic promotion place to the promised land, also known as the Premier League.

Lets start with Wolves. Their point last weekend at Barnsley (boooooooooooooooooooo) secured the Colaship title. They have been at the top all season, a brief stutter in form was righted and they finished strong. Good for them. McCarthy has started his summer clear out in preparation for the top-flight, stating his intention to let Jason Shackell, Darren Potter and Darren Ward leave Moilineux. Rumors are also circulating that Wolves will make signing Sammy Hypia from Liverpool a priority.

Wolves: Champions.

The second automatic promotion place is up for grabs. Birmingham's defeat last weekend and Readings 2-0 win at Carrow Road has set up a gem for this Sunday morning. Reading need to win to return to the Premier League but ALSO need Sheffield United to get no more than a point at Palace. Reading have hit form after a shaky spell and their superior goal difference could be the decider. Birmingham are running out of steam and I can see Reading doing the business. A Blades win and anything but a win for Birmingham will see Sheffield back in the big-time. Reading V Birmingham is available in the US on the PC destroying ESPN 360 at 8.15 am.

1 Wolverhampton 45 27 87
2 Birmingham 45 16 80
3 Sheff Utd 45 25 79
4 Reading 45 33 77
5 Cardiff 45 13 74
6 Burnley 45 8 73
7 Preston 45 11 71

Cardiff and Burnley have had very good seasons and only Preston can spoil the play-off party.

Preston v QPR
Burnley V Bristol City.
Sheffield Wed V Cardiff.

8.15 Eastern.

Down at the bottom Readings win at Bigus' favorite place on earth, saved Forest and Agyle. Tightly clenched buttocks in Nottingham and Plymouth respectively released to the sounds of jubilant celebration. Well done to them. Miserable Scottish tit Billy Davies has done a good job at Forest while Plymouth fought through an incredibly hard run-in schedule to accumulate 51 points. 50 bringing safety this year.

So here we are it's down to this. Barnsley or Norwich. One of us will be joining Southampton and Charlton in League One. I just can't believe it's come to this for Norwich. A club that beat Manchester United 2-0 in the Premier League just 4 years ago. The mess Glenn Roeder made at the club left Bryan Gunn an un-enviable task. He has bagged 20 points in 17 games. Roeder collected just 26 during his disastrous 28 games this term. The man was like poison. The alarm bells were ringing loudly once he swept through the club firing people left right and center. Even the kit man. The players hated him and the fans more. But I've been here before so lets move on.

To stay in the Colaship and hopefully learn from our mistakes, Norwich need to beat Charlton away on Sunday and need Plymouth to beat Barnsley. Stranger things have happened but I fear Plymouth are on the beach already and the point Barnsley need will be easily obtained.

That said I am now going to try and hex Barnsley. Please join me in a Gregorian style chant...Lose Barnsley, lose Barnsley, lose Barnsley, lose!

Many of our readers have asked me about the saying/song 'On the Ball City'. Well it's the oldest football song is history, dating back to the 1890's and still sung loudly at Carrow Road today. To help create a hopeful mood for the rest of the week and inspire the Gods of good fortune for Sundays big games, here it is...

First a jolly little version played on the 'ol Joanna' from the turn of the last century.

and how it lives today, on Saturday's at mighty Carrow Road.

Full Colaship table here.

Up the City!


1 comment:

Keith said...

Come on you Royals

/Would love to see the Bluenoses cock up the certain promotion place they've held all year and crash out of the playoffs