Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Champions League Open Thread

We apologize for the lack of content today. I have a feeling it's down to anticipation of what's to come and lamentation of what was lost over the last couple of days. In hopes of atonement, I give you this.

This may or may not be Autoglass as a child.

Of course it's not, but he is the resident UFer who has a crying interest in the outcome of this two-legged tie. In the spirit of how we all cared about Norwich yesterday, I ask that you support him and carry Spartak to the CL Final. So we can all laugh at Michael Ballack when he finishes runner-up again.

Lineups after the jump.

Barcelona: Valdes, Alves, Pique, Marquez, Abidal, Toure, Xavi, Iniesta, Messi, Henry, Eto'o
Subs: Jorquera, Puyol, Gudjohnsen, Bojan, Keita, Silvinho, Hleb

Spartak: Cech, Ivanovic, Terry, Alex, Bosingwa; Lampard, Mikel, Ballack, Essien, Malouda; Drogba
Subs: Hilario, Di Santo, Kalou, Belletti, Anelka, Mancienne, Stoch

140 comments:

The Fan's Attic said...

Chelsea draws in this leg or at least bags a couple away goals and will advance to the final again.

The NY Kid said...

Fuck Spartak in the pants.

I root for Titi!

Precious Roy said...

Pants? Why not just straight up the pooper?

I'll recognize Missouri before I pull for Spartak.

machine gooner funk said...

go titi! fuck chelscum

Steve said...

agreed. going to have to pull for Barca in this one.

(and there's no way Bosingwa is staying with Messi...)

Precious Roy said...

Not sure about all the obsession with stopping Messi, because even if you do that, there's still Eto'o and Henry. Not to mention Xavi and Iniesta.

Who I just mentioned.

phil said...

ROOT FOR SPARTAK!?!?!?! NEVER!!!!

Sorry, it's just that without Georger, there was an alarming lack of caps usage in the thread.

Teeknuts said...

I really hope Iniesta sucks the life out of this tie.

The Fan's Attic said...

I'm not rooting for anybody, just have a gut feeling...it may just be that free chalupa i had on sunday though.

The NY Kid said...

Sunday!?!?

You need to be more regular.

Precious Roy said...

These are the Champions! THE CHAMPIONS!

I should make that my ringtone.

/Doesn't have a gay ass custom ring tone.

Bigus Dickus said...

@PR and Steve: I know!!! Fecking Bosingwa? How is he going to stop Messi? Abandon the right side of the pitch and chase Messi all over the park? Gus is not very good with mind games.

JT said...

Messi, Eto'o and Henry have scored 90 goals between them this season in all competitions. Combined, Drogba and Anelka have managed just 33.

And this is supposed to be an even contest? Drogba's alone in the 4-5-1 today!

Steve said...

PR, i agree with you about the overwhelming quality of the rest of Barca's team and the unnecessary obsession with the messi matchup, especially when there isn't one to be had.

phil said...

ESPN360 sucks balls. I blame Howard Webb.

Steve said...

@ phil: damn i was just going to blame the bosingwa-messi matchup on him. can he be at fault for both? busy, busy man.

ü75 said...

@teeknuts
Good one.

Bigus Dickus said...

@JT. How does that break down. Thats amazing!

The NY Kid said...

Pep Guardiola - coach, man, model.

JT said...

@Bigus

Messi - 32
Eto'o - 34
Henry - 24

The NY Kid said...

someone urinated on Chelsea's kitbags

Teeknuts said...

Fuck you Ivanovic.
/Still just a little bitter

Bigus Dickus said...

Oh Boy. Bosingwa is on the left and Ivanovic on the right? WTF.

@JT WOW. Just WOW.

The NY Kid said...

derek rae and tommy smyth? Good thing I'm at work so I don't have the audio on

phil said...

ESPN 360 just thoroughly thrashed my computer. Holy shit.


/throws another dart at picture of Howard Webb.

The NY Kid said...

I believe that Malouda's resurgence is due to his new choice of hairstyle

phil said...

JT, that's f-n insane.

JT said...

@phil @Bigus

yeah, it's definitely insane, but you wonder how much credit is due to their brilliance, and how much is due to the defensive shambles that is La Liga.

I mean, Real were tonking them in left, right and center until they ran into LFC.

Steve said...

why isn't chelsea closing down until the final third? are they that afraid of being broken down?

phil said...

Chelsea have been lucky not concede twice already.

The NY Kid said...

@JT - 71% brilliance; 29% shambles

Teeknuts said...

Yep, Cech still looks pretty bad.

Teeknuts said...

Well, Messi just fucked Bosingwa for the first time tonight.

phil said...

Spartak appear more than content to stall the match at midfield.

JT said...

@The NY Kid:

I will reserve judgment until the World Cup

The NY Kid said...

Dear Lionel,
that was quite possibly the worst free kick you have ever taken in your life.

Love,
NYK

The NY Kid said...

@JT - but Cameroon might not even make the WC!

Oh, I see. You bastard.

phil said...

Expect we'll see a lot of Unibrowsingwa hauling down Messi, because he just cannot stay with him.

Precious Roy said...

Ugh... Could you play into Chelsea's hands any more by playing the ball up the middle of the field.

That pitch is wide. You have tons of speed. What am I missing here?

Teeknuts said...

Messi isn't striking the ball particularly well so far

phil said...

Comment left on yahoo live txt : "CHELSEA VAFFANCULO" repeated about 10 times. LMAO

Precious Roy said...

Nice support for Titi there guys.

The NY Kid said...

anyone else think Iniesta kind of looks like Landycakes?

JT said...

Yeah, PR, this is hardly a good way to assert your authority at home. It's like a wolf playing with a bunny and not knowing how to kill it.

The NY Kid said...

Alex makes Fat Frank look svelte

phil said...

Alex should be sent off already. Finally gets a card, but that's at least the third time he's taken a kick at someone.

Precious Roy said...

There is going to be a sending off somewhere aroung the 60th.

JT said...

Anyone else completely underwhelmed? Barca appear to think that they can win simply because of who they are. Not impressed thus far. This lackadaisical approach plays right into the away team's hands.

The NY Kid said...

FOR FUCK'S SAKE!

Ballack just tried to break Titi's legs

phil said...

Kind of seems that way, PR. Spartak are chippy and leaving a lot of legs out.

EbullientFatalist said...

So nothing so far scoring wise? I'm stick watching the current Florida Senate session. Its similar to watching Arsenal in February: a lot of nothing.

phil said...

More anti-football from Spartak. Barca look lazy.

Precious Roy said...

Yeah that could have even been a yellow for Ivanovic on such a blatant push. But Barca are playing like they've got about 7 hours to score.

Finally a decent shot.

Steve said...

wow. 233-73 passes complete ratio. unbelievable.

JT said...

Barca's ego dictates that it is their birthright to score goals simply because they exist.

Spartak will be grateful for the long periods of watching Barca pass sideways and then shoot well wide from 30 yards.

Precious Roy said...

This looks like a training session where the coach told the offense not to try too hard to score.

The NY Kid said...

Dani Alves is not a happy camper. I smell handbags

Precious Roy said...

Oh wow... Drogba could have been carded as well. He just head dunked Dani Alves to the ground.

Sarah said...

I'm slightly bored by this game. Come on Titi, score a goal or three.

Precious Roy said...

Yeah, NYK. I went back on the Tivo to watch it five times. Drogba came from behind him and knocked him down by the back of his head.

Teeknuts said...

Jesus, if Chelsea scored there it would have been the least deserved lead ever.

Precious Roy said...

That was awesome though.

Eat shit Marquez. And Drogba fails twice with the gift.

Steve said...

wow. that's what's going to happen to barca if they don't pick it up. how does drogba not finish that??

The NY Kid said...

passing lessons by Lucas Leiva

JT said...

Honestly, with such a lop-sided matchup, would an away goal for Chelsea make that much difference?

Precious Roy said...

He was no not offside.

Teeknuts said...

baaaaaaad offside call there.

The NY Kid said...

well, they fucked that chance up royally

Precious Roy said...

Well, credit to Guus. He's neutralized the speed advantage. Too bad Barca don't have a Peter Crouch so that they can start lobbing crosses in.

Bigus Dickus said...

@JT I don't think its lopsided. Chelsea came to take what they can on the break. So far so good for them. Not sure they can hold out 90 mins though! With players out of position too.

Teeknuts said...

It is too bad. Peter Crouch playing for Barca would be hilarious. Underwhelming half.

Nathaniel said...

Chelsea looking a bit amateurish that half...

Precious Roy said...

Posession:

Barca - 73%
Spartak - 23%

That looks a little lopsided to me (even if the score doesn't).

c0rrine said...

barca need to stop shooting long range and henry needs to share the ball!!!

and chelsea should stop parking the bus hahaha

JT said...

one thing is certain: these two teams most definitely are not thaaaaa chaaaaaaaampiiiiooooooonnnnssss

Teeknuts said...

Ouch, Henry just got rocked

The NY Kid said...

BASTARDS!

Precious Roy said...

Oh come on... what do you mean "no intent"?

The NY Kid said...

Alex is a little bitch for crap like that. He's been doing it the entire match

Precious Roy said...

On the one hand that might be the end of a career. On the other hand, it's Rafa Marquez.

The NY Kid said...

wow. the pitch claims a victim - the way he went down it looks pretty bad

Teeknuts said...

Wow, Barca players are dropping like flys.

The NY Kid said...

Yaya Toure goes for a horsey ride, but manages to get the call in his favor

Precious Roy said...

Fuck Didier Drogba.

The NY Kid said...

DOWN GOES ALVES! DOWN GOES ALVES!

The NY Kid said...

at this rate we will see an amputation before we see a RC

Precious Roy said...

Never want to hear a Chelski fan complain about negative football by anyone anywhere ever again.

Steve said...

this is disgusting. spartak have been taking cheap shots all night. (not that alves' writhing wasn't overdramatic)

The NY Kid said...

Bigger twat:

Fat Frank or Cashley Cole?

Teeknuts said...

@NYK Cole. Frankie doesn't really bother me that much.

Steve said...

cashley

The NY Kid said...

BUT HE'S FAT!

The NY Kid said...

time for me to leave the office and my precious ESPN360 feed. hopefully the last half hour will provide me with some entertainment when I get home

Steve said...

chelsea tonight is like a more athletic stoke

Teeknuts said...

Oh fuck you Drogba.

Precious Roy said...

Shit.

Teeknuts said...

How the hell did Eto'o not score?

Nathaniel said...

Jesus Christ, Spartak London is playing like a League 2 team...

Precious Roy said...

If Eto'o had juist looked up to see Titi, it's 1-0.

Precious Roy said...

Bosingwa totally pulled Henry down. Absolutely.

Steve said...

no penalty?

Teeknuts said...

Penalty. Chelsea got really lucky there.

phil said...

Fuck Spartak. This is the CL and they are playing like a team fighting relegation. Fuck them in the ear.

jape said...

Who is your preferred "Golden boy of the future?" Boyan or Pato?

phil said...

Pato. Because he has singlehandedly rescued a season for my Spurs in FIFA09

/nerdlinger

phil said...

Ballack is playing a dirty match even by his low standards. Just grabbed Iniesta and got away with it.

phil said...

Barca have not failed to score in any home match this season.

Steve said...

bojan.

f ballack.

Precious Roy said...

Ugh... how do you not bury that?

Teeknuts said...

There it was. I am not looking forward to the return leg.

Steve said...

thing about the return leg is barca only need to tie, and do you bet against them not scoring in two games? no way.

Teeknuts said...

Damnit Hleb!

phil said...

Gah. Bojan, you bastard.

Precious Roy said...

Hleb! Fail!

jape said...

Oh, if Hleb scored I wouldve shit myself.

Precious Roy said...

NIce job, Barca... You wait until stoppage time in the second to start sending the ball in toward goal.

You deserve your fate. Unfortunately the rest of the world doesn't deserve Spartak in the CL final again.

phil said...

Hleb! Fail!Redundant.

Teeknuts said...

Like usual, the only person to blame here is Howard Webb.

phil said...

No team turns important matches into a festival of hoofing anti-football live Spartak. It's like they hire Sam Allardyce to coach only the Cup matches.

jape said...

OK fuck Chelsea - I am with Steve - no way Barça fails to score in London. I say they hang 4 on Cech.

Nathaniel said...

Horrible.

@Teeknuts: You guessed it...Howard Webb (Frank Stallone).

phil said...

Agreed, Teeknuts. Fucking Howard Webb must be held to blame for this tepid display.

Precious Roy said...

What's worse? One blown call (like Webb) or a bunch of non-calls that could have easily been free kicks or even second cards.

Ballack could have collected three yellows.

/Graham Poll'd

phil said...

In case anyone doubted the shite brand of football Spartak played, Ballack spends much of the final minutes lolling about on the ground.

phil said...

Agreed, PR. Both Ballack and Alex could have rightfully been sent off for various acts of douchebaggery.

Precious Roy said...

But suddenly recovers from his inury to track back once Hleb gets in alone.

Nathaniel said...

Ballack looked like he was sandbagging it for the last 20 or so minutes. Fuck him.

Precious Roy said...

Amazingly Barca had as many yellows even though fouls were 20-7 in favor of Spartak... And that was with a ref that wasn't exactly looking to blow the whistle.

Run TMC said...

since no one is defending chelsea i'll handle it. that was terrible soccer (futbol?) but they had as many good scoring chances as barca. it at least makes for an interesting next wednesday.

note: posted once before so beers are on someone else. but if you are looking for natty light in the philly area, stop on by

Run TMC said...

oh and dani alves is a bitch. and as a chelsea/usa fan i felt bad when rafa marquez got hurt, but it still disappointed me

Precious Roy said...

Run TMC:

Barca - 19 shots (6 on goal)
Spartak 3 shots (1 on goal)

How are those equal? Barca had 3 good chances in the last 10 minutes alone: Eto'o, Bojan, Hleb.

Chelsea just had the most spectacular failure (Drogba) so it's easier to remember.

Run TMC said...

i'm counting drogba, ballack, eto'o and hleb. and eto'o probably would have finished the one bojan missed. the first 75 minutes or so, as boring as they were, brought no chances for barca. i'm as scared of cech as anyone, but when he is anywhere near his best there was nothing threatening. and alot of those shots were from 20+.

nonetheless, barca completely dominated the game, no question. still, i feel good about next week, since with the same game i think drogba banks one.

Precious Roy said...

Chelsea can't play for a 0-0 draw next week either, which means more space for Eto'o, Messi, Henry to operate.

I'm sure Chelsea fans are happy to not be down, but I think I'd almost rather be down 2-1 and have the away goal. Now any non-zero draw at home and you're done. You have to win.

Run TMC said...

i know, and i have a sinking feeling that chelsea play for 0-0 and pk's. at which point, i'll kill myself. but 0-0 at camp nou, no matter how ugly, i'll take. and down 2-1 is an interesting debate, but i still think i'd rather be 0-0. in either case you'd need 1-0 to win, and with 0=0 you know you can blank them

Steve said...

all barca have to do, if it next week's is a repeat of this game, is be more incisive, like they were in the last 10 minutes, and they score two or three. chelsea had one clear cut chance, which drogba should've scored. they'll need to open it up in order to create more chances, which will then open it up for barca.

like i said before, there is no way chelsea can keep barca out for 180 minutes. barca have to be major favorites still (and are clearly the better team by miles).

Precious Roy said...

That was more from a psychological perspective as 2-1 and 0-0 are almost the same score (from the standpoint of if the other team gets 1 in the return, you need 2 to go through).

But I'd just feel better having the away goal in the back pocket. Barca's fault for not doing better with all the possession. They drew 1-1 at Lyon, and at Munich, same result sends them through.

Steve said...

oh, noooow he says it was a mistake.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/eng_prem/8022476.stm

c0rrine said...

ok barca have always been my 2nd choice team after liverpool, so at least with liverpool being knocked out by chelski i had the consolation of barca facing them for the next round. with that, i am pretty pissed off right now that their team traveled and played away, only to do NOTHING but park the bus. people are giving them kudos for containing one of the best attacking team in the world at the moment, but i don't think there is anything admirable about a TOP european side playing AWAY and doing nothing but defending in a champions league semi final!!! i am so angry now, because marquez seems to have picked up an injury, the clasico is next, and puyol is suspended for the 2nd leg. if this is a repeat of barca vs manutd of last year i swear to god i will boycott the final ahahahaha

c0rrine said...

ewwwwwwww i need to proofread the shit i write

you nou what i meant ;)

Run TMC said...

i don't think 2-1 and 0-0 are the same psychologically. for the next game score maybe equally important, but i think holding barca to 0 is much more important. and 1-1 at lyon and munich is not 1-1 at stamford bridge.

fuck webb