Thursday, February 26, 2009


The library of dreams: Middlesbrough.

Now, I had to read the source of this here below gubbage three times today. Unbelievable would be somewhat of an understatement. Most football clubs need the fans to be noisy at home. Heck, Norwich sure do. Players mention it, the manager mentions it, the wonderful Delia mentions it (sometimes drunk while standing in the middle of the pitch).

No one can deny that a home team is buoyed by and benefits greatly from a noisy and passionate home crowd. No one can deny this, except for Sue Watson.

Who's she, you ask?

Someone who has pissed off Middlesbrough fans by writing and orchestrating the distribution of one of the stupidest letters that has ever been written.

Sue, Sue, Sue, How about you, Sue! What did you do?

Sue is the safety officer for Middlesbrough. Apparently Sue doesn't like noise at the Riverside. Acting on some some complaints that folks where banging the back of the south east stand during games, she handed out letters asking fans to only make noise when Boro....SCORE!

Oh Sue!

If it wasn't so ridiculous it would be really funny...Yeah, you are right it is!
Of course Boro fans are not seeing the funny side of Sue's faux pas, and are now fuming at poor old Sue.

An excerpt from Sue's masterpiece....

"I am receiving more and more complaints from our own fans about both the
persistent standing and the constant banging and noise coming from the back of
this stand. Please stop. Make as much noise as you like when we score, but this
constant noise is driving some fans mad.”
Wow! No more singing in Middlesbrough. Of course they will be a laughing stock in the north east from here on out. Can you imagine the Newcastle fans when they visit next?

SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH......and "You play in a library" and "You only sing when your reading." You get the drift.

Boro's Chief operating officer Neil Bausor seems to think the whole thing was a misunderstanding, and he says the club DO want noise from the fans.

“We understand the strength of feeling on this issue and we accept the letter could easily have been misunderstood. We apologise to any supporters who have therefore been understandably annoyed." - Neil Bausor.
So if that's true, then Sue truly is a Muppet. She was clearly charged with asking fans to stop banging the back of the stand and got a little confused instead. Decided to destroy any atmosphere Riverside Stadium might of had!

Shhhhhhh. No laughing Sue! (That's Sue on the right.)

This next bit is the best part...Ready? The stand that this sorry tale concerns is in the southeast of the stadium. An area that was set aside by the club just for the singing, noisy fans to gather, in order to cheer on their team as a collective!

Oh Sue, Sue, Sue. What a mess.

Boro are currently facing relegation after failing to win in 14 league games. I'm sure that Sue's silence will inspire Southgate's team to survival.




Goat said...

The wrinkles in her suit seem to indicate that Sue could use a fair amount of time standing up. Too catty?

WhiteSpeedReceiver said...

Sue's just getting the crowd ready for next year when they get to host Norwich, Nottingham Forest, and Leeds in the Colaship and nobody cares.

I'm just fucking with you guys. Leeds isn't getting promoted.

The Fan's Attic said...

Bigus had me edit this piece and I changed the word "gubbage" in the first line to garbage. However, BD got righteous and indignant with my editorial decision. He even got his panties in a bunch about it. I don't believe it's a real or slang word, but his knickers were twisted, so I put it back.