Becks and Sex

The Chinese Government is now using David Beckham as a pawn in its propaganda war. We are defenseless.

Oh wait, it's only about a sex drug. No worries, then.

The international icon and part-time footballer is being used to promote a Chinese sex-aid supplement. In the commercial he appears with his wife where, according to Brand Republic, he claims (in a dubbed voice): "Want to know how I can keep being strong and running on the football field? USA Selikon capsules help me a lot. It's also the secret weapon with which I can satisfy Victoria."

Ancient Chinese secret, huh? Not anymore. But this confirms our suspicion that Victoria gets off by having small, capsule-shaped things shoved up her ass.

Anyway, we're pretty sure someone botched the translation and that's not even an actual quote. An actual quote would probably read more like: "USA Serikon capsures herp me a rot. It's arso the seclet weapon with which I can satisfy Victolia."


What, it's suddenly not okay to be slightly racist on a Monday anymore?

The same series of ads also includes Sean Connery, Keanu Reeves, and Dirk Kuyt.

Just kidding. Kuyt is actually part of the Chinese Population Control program. Anyway, it seems that the Chinese government signed off on the ad, keeping consistent with their long-standing hardline stance against copyright infringement.