Friday, July 18, 2008

Magic Spray? How About Invisible Spray!

Have you ever watched a match where the referee is forced to continuously blow his whistle on dead balls because the defending team keeps encroaching on the 10-yards?

I mean, just look at these guys! (Why yes, that is RvP scoring the equaliser against Everton. Haha!). So what is the solution to this time-draining practice? Well, the Argies think they have the answer.

Just yesterday the Argentina Football Association agreed to use a new magic spray to address the concern of defenders creeping forward during a free kick. And what does this magic spray do? It sprays a line onto the pitch to mark off the 10 yards, and then disappears after one minute! This brilliant idea was brought to fruition by an Argentine journalist who began working with chemical engineers after he lost an amateur match in which he missed a potential game-tying free kick due to the encroachment of the wall.

It's not enough for the Argentinians that we drew them 0-0 at the Meadowlands, now we also get to mock them for idiotic and utterly useless technological advances.

Point #1: Have you ever seen a free kick? Have you ever taken a free kick? Some of these clowns dawdle so long that one minute is nowhere near enough time. The journalist himself notes that in a recent Boca Juniors game it took Juan Riquelme 2 and a half minutes to get off his free kick. Does the ref then give out a yellow card for unsportsmanlike behavior if he has to reapply the invisible spray?

Point #2: What if the Argentinians are playing Colombia (or Robbie Fowler), and someone tries to sniff the line? Is it hazardous to humans?

Point #3: All of these encroachment issues could be solved if more people took free kicks like this:

Of course, it's only a matter of time before Platini and Blatter sound off on this issue and expound for hours on its virtues.


Andrew said...


I only read about that term five days ago and now I've been seeing it everywhere.

And does anyone else see the irony in the Argies coming up with a method of better enforcing the rules?

Mario said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kopper said...

Isn't this like the Vapoorizer that Jack Black invented in that movie with Ben Stiller, Envy?

Mike Georger said...

mario lopez cant take a joke, what a fall from grace for slater

Precious Roy said...


That is what's known as a 'joke.' We shall be using them in posts from time to time.

Precious Roy said...

Oops. Two minutes too slow.

However, why do I not find this idea as stupid as everyone else. Just need something to slow the process down so the line lasts 180 seconds or so.


Mike Georger said...

i thought about something along the lines of 'well id hope you would be on drugs to kill someone over a mistake in a WC game'

theeeen i remembered publicly wishing death upon riise

either way, settle down or ill send harrison ford to kill you

Precious Roy said...

Fun factoid: That was the only own-goal of the 1994 World Cup.

Probably less fun if you happened to be Andres Escobar.