What Do Undertakers, Cat Fights, Zimbabwe, Jermain Defoe Have In Common?

They are all found in this post. Seriously. Sometimes in my research I come across some truly awe-inspiring articles. This is one of those times. So much good stuff...so little time. Ostensibly, this article is about Manchester City striker Benjani Mwaruwari and his off-field women issues, but it continues on to a broader perspective.

Let's just start at the beginning, in Zimbabwe...

Apparently, the Undertaker, as Benjie is affectionately known and has huge following probably because of his money, arrived at the night club late on Saturday in the company of a group of girls and his brother.

Benjie and his crew were seated at the VIP section, an eyewitness said, when an argument arose between the two unidentified ladies.

"Benjani came to (name of the nightclub) with a group of ladies and they went to the VIP bar section. No one knows the reason these ladies fought. We only saw Benjani and his brother (name supplied) dashing out of the VIP bar section leaving the two ladies to finish what they had started. However, the two followed him and they exchanged blows in front of him,” said an eyewitness.

Great. I did not know Benjani was the Undertaker. He might to watch out for Vince McMahon, who could sue him for infringment.

Women fighting over a footballer...nothing new but definitely fun.

Footballers fighting over a woman? Even better.

Remember that Benjani is the same player who once fought former Warriors skipper, Peter Ndlovu, over a woman.

Better. Also of note, Benjani has also taken Ndlovu's armband as captain of the Zimbabwe national team. This is getting better.

Ironically, the man who replaced Benjani at Portsmouth Jermaine Defoe was recently said to have ‘… probably slept with the majority of the female patrons in any given London nightclub.’

Bliss. A nice dig at Defoe. Now back to the Ndlovu.

Ndlovu, arguably the best player ever to emerge from this nation, has had a fair share of such headlines.The Flying Elephant, as he is affectionately known, is “blessed” with countless children.

Well, I'm not sure if blessed is the word I would use, especially if it's associate with countless.

The article goes on detailing other Zimbabwean footballer women foibles.

There is one case of a promising Highlanders player who was beaten up over a girl recently. Another Highlanders’ duo went as far as literally fighting over a prostitute at a Harare hotel.

Plus, there is an added bonus of Beckham, Ronaldo, and Abramovich bon mots towards the end.

I suggest you read it yourself.