You know, I kind of like it when a team picks a theme and runs with it. Usually. When a team picks the wrong theme, it can be horrible for all involved. While not on par with, say, a pub bombing, these two shirts were undoubtedly the worst disaster for Northern Ireland's football squad since Pat Jennings stopped being world class.
Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you the home and away shirts for Northern Ireland from 1990 to 1993.
Pinwheels! A shirt fully inspired by the most boring toy ever. "Here son, here's a toy that I want you to blow into until you feel faint. Once you do that, it will continue to spin for about 1.2 seconds until friction stops the movement entirely. Play with it for ten minutes. Then you should tire enough to take that nap that Mommy and Daddy so desperately want you to take." Or something like that.
On the plus side for the Protestant counties of Ireland, these shirts may have been able to induce a hypnotic effect on the opposite squad. Picture this- it's the 85th minute and your team has given up a corner. You get set to mark your opposite number, setting up just behind him. You let your eyes drift downward and take in the jersey. You start to hallucinate that something is moving within the pinwheels and lose concentration. Next thing you know, the kick is taken, your man is gone and gets a free header on frame. Goal, Northern Ireland, and you need smelling salts to get back in the correct frame of mind.
Of course, given how inept the squad was at the time, I don't think this happened. The Northern Irish players probably hypnotized themselves, if anything. Which wouldn't be so bad, if it kept you from remembering how badly you just lost.