Tuesday, April 28, 2009

#5 Magazine: more tits than the Stretford End at Old Trafford


Rio Ferdinand is a man of proud, keen business acumen. Having carefully observed the slow death of publishing, he's decided to get into the magazine game, albeit blowing his money in the online world instead of daring to put ink to paper.

After all, if The Players' Club and Gene Simmons' Tongue can work (and I use the term "work" very loosely), then why can't Rio's rag, the intriguingly/stupidly named #5?

After the jump, the first piece of pictorial evidence that Rio might have a fighting chance.




Her name is Francoise Boufhal, and this exotic beauty hails from... Newcastle? She's been looking for lingerie work, but tragically, has been told that she's too curvy.

Good that Rio wasn't about to make the same error.

Francoise's tale is full of triumph over adversity:

"When I reached about 16 I stopped doing theatre and TV because every casting I went to I got knocked back for having such an unusual figure for such a young woman.

I'm a 28H. Everything I went to I was told I was too glamorous and no one knew where to put me in things. I went on a quest for a lingerie job but my bust was too big for that even. I was offered loads of work but it was all to go topless and that was not what I wanted to do. It was so frustrating, but it made me even more determined to be known for who I was rather than just my looks.

I thought no matter how many times you knock me back, I'll keep going and sooner or later something will come along I'll be good for."

Get in, Francoise! With Rio's clumsy foray into magazines (or, as the header puts it, "a digital lifestyle magazine... (featuring) exclusive interviews and videos with true icons from the worlds of sport, music, and drama"), she'll be famous in no time.

Until #5 closes down, that is.

3 comments:

The Fan's Attic said...

Those aren't buoys!

jjf3 said...

28H?! I didn't think that was freaking possible (short of $3000)...

phil said...

Holy Moly. Those are deffo not Webb's fault.