Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Shola Ameobi is an idiot

Shola is not a squatter, he's just a footballer


I realize that the highly-paid footballer of today leads a life more in line with Caligula than Jesus Christ, but a line has to be drawn somewhere, and perhaps Newcastle striker Shola Ameobi has found it. Apparently, the lad lives in such rockstar-esque dishevelment that he can't even tell whether he's been burgled or on a bender.

From the wonderful journalism of the Daily Mail:
The Newcastle striker called Northumbria Police to report a number of items had been taken from his home, including his chequebook. But Ameobi soon realised his £500,000 pad in Jesmond, a leafy suburb of Newcastle, had not be targeted at all - it was just a complete mess. In a scene straight from a Yellow Pages advert, the striker had to call the police again to admit his mistake.
No word on whether Michael Owen's talent was lost and buried amid the detritus.

Still, if nothing else, Shola could look to Dave from Stoke/Newcastle as a possible housemaid. Maybe then the lad could devote more time to remembering how to score goals.


5 comments:

hockalees said...

Perhaps he realized he did not "look like your average horti-fuckin-culturist"

Andrew said...

"Couldn't get Ameobi out my head, like."

I've had that problem before.

The Fan's Attic said...

Makes me think of the ODB episode of MTV Cribs. Or was it Method Man? Bah...one of the Wu-Tang guys had a dirty ass apartment.

Lingering Bursitis said...

TFA: It was Redman

phil said...

Redman's apartment looked like a bomb went off in a landfill.